Sorry Everyone!

Discussion in 'TurnToIslam Lounge !' started by Globalpeace, Aug 23, 2007.

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  1. Globalpeace
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    Globalpeace Banned

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    Asslamo Allaikum,

    I haven’t been myself lately at work, at home, at the Mosque and everywhere else and everybody (including people at TTI) have noticed and sent me messages for support & asking “whats wrong”.

    This Sister’s story has really really affected me to the core & I am just going around snapping at people and biting their heads off.

    I am Sorry to everyone and I hope that I will be forgiven.

    http://needcopingmechanisms.blogspot.com/
  2. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Salaam,

    Dear respected and esteemed brother,
    I am familar with the sister. I am confused. Please bear in mind that I am a little jaded.
    I find it very difficult to absorb that this educated woman utilizes such a public forum to discuss her very private affairs. I am not stating she is at fault. I feel that she has thawarted some of her avenues.
    Her husband is callous to say the least. But she could expend her energy into a more positive manner. She is limiting her choices. This no one can help her with but herself. Borrowing from a song no we can not turn back the hands of time, but we can move on.
    I think of other sisters whose husbands have done worse and abandonded them and you hear no complaints. They think of the welfare of their children and move forward. They put their trust in Allah subhana talla. Am I wrong?
  3. MubarekMuslimah
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    MubarekMuslimah Junior Member

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    Salaams brother

    That is one of the saddest things I have ever read. I understand how it has affected you. It makes me so sad to hear of how this kind of thing can happen. Obviously we only have the sister's side of the story - in Islam we should not judge each other so although from this it is easy to blame the husband I cannot do that - because we don't know the full story or his side of things - in short, only Allah swt knows the Truth.

    But its still one of the saddest things I have ever read. My heart goes out to those children.

    I think the sister must have written this - not to publicise her private thoughts or discredit her husband - she does not name him after all - but I think because she seems to have no-one to talk to about it all like she talks about it here. And that, also, is very sad.

    May Allah swt guide our Ummah, Ameen

    Wasalaams
  4. somewhatinspired
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    somewhatinspired Junior Member

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    i had to stop reading it,

    i am sure i will finish reading it,

    it was making me really angry with her husband
  5. deepheart
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    deepheart Junior Member

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    Assalam alaikum brother.

    I haven't read the article yet but whatever it was that made you sad, just try to get over it.

    Don't be sad: Remember that you believe in ALLAH.

    Nay, but ALLAH has conferred a favour upon you, that HE has guided you to the Faith.......( Qur'an 49:17).
  6. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Salaam,

    You have a very kind heart. My concern is the children. It is very tragic when couples break-up and children are involved. Children have a right to each parent. That is their right.
  7. jabba
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    jabba Salafi Dawah is the best

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    :salam2:
    I'm so glad this sister was strong enough to get out of this situation, I know some people who would just sit there and take it....umph. The children are better off, every little thing affects children, you may not think they know whats going on but they do. My parents spilt a very long time ago, and trust me it was for the better.:wasalam:
  8. Globalpeace
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    Globalpeace Banned

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    Sorry!

    Asslamo Allaikum,

    I am especially Sorry to YOU & Br ShaheedU.

    In your case I wanted to make you angry and get a reaction & when my first post didn’t do it…I did it again…

    I deliberately wanted to push your buttons and get a reaction to make you GET over the situation (Man's way of dealing with emotions) BUT I shouldn’t have done it that hard!

    Br ShaheedU was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.



    Sorry to both of you.
  9. Smee
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    Smee Junior Member

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    Assalamu'alaikum warahmatullah,

    Brother GP, you cannot control Safa's situation. You can only do so much, that is to have full trust that Allah SWT is watching over her and her children and what is best shall come inshallah. You can do du'a.
    The best thing to do is to put your energies to something more useful. You cannot go to egypt and sort this out, but you can help those who may be in similar situations nearby or advise brothers who may fall into this trap. I dunno...

    Sister MirajMom, Just because you do not hear complaints from some sisters about their sitations does not mean they do not complain. Other than her blog, it is clear from her posts that very few people in her life know of what she goes through. She may tell all to strangers, but she saves face infront of those she knows, and that is admirable in my opinion. She is trying her best to remain in the marriage...she is looking for every little bit of strength she has...she is displaying sabr instead of cutting her losses and running at the first sign of trouble. That takes strong faith, determination and courage...so much so most of us would have given up a long time ago.
  10. Safa.
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    Safa. New Member

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    Assalaamu alaikum....

    Well, I've made it over here.....and to be honest....I've been reading in these forums before, but as of late, haven't been here much.

    About my blog......

    In the beginning when I started writing I had absolutely NO english speaking people to talk to. My family isn't in Egypt with me and I had no support. I could feel myself spiralling down and I didn't know where to go. At times, the blog was my only outlet......and the only way that I could receive positive (and yes, oftentimes negative) advice. I honestly found myself in a situation out of my control and had NO idea of what to do, where to go.

    I found solace in my obedience to Allah and still do. But the brain is horrible and the shaytan perserveres.......so I had the blog.

    I do not want to ruin my husbands reputation.

    In the beginning the blog was my outlet.....and I can't tell you how many messages I've received from women in my very same situation basically yelling...HELP ME!

    Polygyny is an issue that just isn't discussed enough. And my blog is a journey......perhaps not as positive as Mizazeez's.....but every bit as real. Where one woman submits..........another doesn't. You have to remember that my husband is horribly unfair timewise. Every step that I've taken, every decision I've made has been halal and acceptable in Islam.

    I'm thankful to all the good wishes I've been receiving, all the duas....and yes....even thankful for some of the rather offside comments.

    People care.

    Islam isn't just about individuals.....it's about society. And the amount of people who have stood beside me have reminded me of that again and again.....alhamdulillah.

    Thanks so much for your support, Global....and to Mubarek for finding an excuse there for me.....alhamdulillah.
  11. danial
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    danial Junior Member

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    what i admire about safa is that life whacks her with a giant iron hammer but she doesnt crumble... wow..
  12. MubarekMuslimah
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    welcome sister to TTI! Assalaamu alaikum - I hope you are feeling a bit better insha'allah - how are you?
  13. najbc
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    Assalam

    This happen lot these days, do not know why. I do not get why new Muslim sisters get married to foreign brothers and leave their home to go to other new country where they might not even know the language. They are very courageously a women, it is bad some sisters end up with bad and abusive brothers.
  14. Safa.
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    Safa. New Member

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    It happens najbc.....and sometimes vice versa!!! All of us are tested by Allah! We have to keep our faith and stay true to it. Do we not believe that everything has been written?

    Thanks Danial.....but yes, I do crumble.....but I put back together amazing good too!!!

    Mubarek....alhamdulillah, I'm managing these moments. I'm taking positive steps, insha Allah!

    Global: Many times I'm in ur same predicament. I'll be reading / living a person's blog and will be totally fretful over the occurances. Constantly walking by my computer and hitting refresh. SubhanAllah! Some situations just GRAB you, u know?

    I thank you that you've been a support and have been kind enough to extend a hand.....May Allah reward you...ameen!
  15. alkathiri
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    alkathiri As-Shafaa'i(Brother)

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    Alhamdulilah. Thats great
  16. Globalpeace
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    Globalpeace Banned

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    Talk is Cheap!

    Asslamo Allaikum,

    May Allah (SWT) assist you in all your endeavours and ease your pain. (Ameen)

    I don't read blogs & stuff because I don’t have time & my feelings are not that of remorse over your situation, rather the inaction and stagnation of the Ummah and YOU BETTER BELIEVE THAT I AM GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

    There is no point in ranting and feeling down, I am going to think long and hard & DO SOMETHING.

    Dear Respected Sister in Islam: As I said in my comments previously, we have a catastrophic system failure in the Ummah (Not Islam, but Muslims) and our social system , cohesion and community networks are breaking down and none are feeling the brunt more then the Muslims in the West as the close family support present (but eroding) in the East is not with us, here.

    We Muslims in the West need to learn that Over 25-30 million of us CANNOT physically make Hijrah to Muslim lands, its physically, logistically, legally impossible...

    Rightly or wrongly many of us have no choice BUT to remain in Non-Muslim lands and we have to build our life around this simple (yet powerful) reality.

    Our men, women and children have NO CHOICE BUT TO learn to survive HERE & NOW!
  17. Rosheen
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    Rosheen Sister in Islam

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    Sister Safa, may Allah keep giving you courage and the sabr to keep going for your children's sake.

    May Allah bless you and your children....Ameen
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