swearing

Greek_Rose_2005

Junior Member
Asalam alikoum brothers and sisters,

my question to you all ...i believe it is haram but i want need a ruling ...like one my so called muslim friends she keeps using extremely offensive language to me... I dont want to say the words here but imagine a sailor then add 10x to it...I have asked her to please not use the language with me as i find it offensive and she told me in Egypt if i said that to someone its an extreme insult and she saying only because im american she will forgive me...i feel like she is insulting me to my very face...and i told her the reason i ask her that bad language makes me nervous that its hated by Allah which she told me that a friend should not tell a friend to change something in them, however i a=disagree i think if someone is going against islam in some manners that a responsible friend will be the one who says something and tries to let them see that its bad...really her language making me very uncomfortable...
I am sorry to say this as I am a new muslim but from the muslims I have seen so far having far worse language then my christian friends...I never ever had a friend who used the words that she has...

what is the ruling on this? is it haram? do i have right to ask her not to swear in front of me as i find it offensive..

as she says im not a friend unless I accept her good and bad and she told me she is not going to change for me...and i told her i feel sad from that as if i was doing something that i know bother her and is bad i would do my best to stop doing it...

pls someone help me im almost crying...I dont know what to do with my friendship this girl has been putting a lot of confusion in my mind and heart as she tells me that its ok to celebrate holidays and even when i have showed her the meaning of it she says shes going to celebrate it anyways..and she keeps telling me i dont know islam she is born muslim and she knows more and i been only few months...Im not trying to show her up but when i feel she is doing something bad i trying to in a gentle way let her see..

i need advice pls pls everyone... I have read the quran but i dont remember all the exact places its talk about language and swearing pls help me..
 

Imad

Junior Member
Assalamoelaikoem warahmatullahi wbarakatuh,

You are right, we are not allowed to celebrate this holidays. You have the right to do your best to change people, because our prophet said clearly that if we see something bad, we have to change it with our hands, if we are not able with our tongue, if not able with our heart ( meaning to diagree with it).

If this muslim sister don't want to listen to you and you are afraid that she can influence you, than it's better for you to have an other friend.

I'am sorry for the muslims who used the bad language. This muslims are not practising what Allah Subhanahu wata3ala and His prophet peace be upon him have teached us. I advice you to look for good muslims.

May Allah help you

Wassalmoelaikoem warahmatullahi wbarakatuh
 

abdellah007

Junior Member
Assalam alaykum sister,

I would like to remind you with this verse :

Then, even after that, your hearts were hardened and became as rocks, or worse than rocks, for hardness. For indeed there are rocks from out which rivers gush, and indeed there are rocks which split asunder so that water floweth from them. And indeed there are rocks which fall down for the fear of Allah. Allah is not unaware of what ye do. (74) Albakara

you are right in what you have done for your sister, but remember that allah guides those he wants. we can not change people minds except with allah s will. you do what is necessary for your sister then let her decide what she wants. you shouldnt stick to someone who denies the truth but follow her desires.

May allah guide her and all muslims Ameen.

wa salam
 

Greek_Rose_2005

Junior Member
asalam alikoum brother thank you for your reply and you are so right that verse is right on also and we have to be careful who we choosing as a friend as they can lead us to jannah or to hell fire...
I was not exactly trying to change her but i was trying to make her aware of where she is a little astray but finally i see she is never one time going to listen to me...I think I will have to cut her friendship and seek friendship with more upright sisters of islam who follow the quran and sunnah..
thnk you again for your posts its most appreciated and needed

wa salam
 

amirah80

*Fear Allah*
:salam2:

Salam Greek :):)

I just wanted to say by the way you speak I can see you value your frienship with this sister and you are right that friends help each change things bad about them for the sake of allah because of the love you have for them. I know it is hard to leave some friends behind but some people are put in your life for a reason and are taking out for a reason. You need to really think does this friend value your frienship as much as you do. Friends do not want to hurt friends and they respect each other. Being that you told this sister around you that you would like her to conduct herself in a certain manner and she refuses. This shows her lack of respect for your relationship and how much she values it. Another thing just because she was born muslim doesnt mean that she knows more or is practising Islam according to the commands set forth by Allah. Holidays other than Eids are not celebrated. Holidays go into culture from country to country. But Islam is uniformed around the world these holidays do not play into our religion.

P.S. Choose your friends wisely just because they are muslim doesnt mean that they are the best choice for you. Some muslims that are not practising their deen correctly can easily lead you astray just like the kufaar.
Salam
Amirah80:hearts:
 

Zainudin Jaffar

Strive to be Mukmin
asalam alikoum brother thank you for your reply and you are so right that verse is right on also and we have to be careful who we choosing as a friend as they can lead us to jannah or to hell fire...
I was not exactly trying to change her but i was trying to make her aware of where she is a little astray but finally i see she is never one time going to listen to me...I think I will have to cut her friendship and seek friendship with more upright sisters of islam who follow the quran and sunnah..
thnk you again for your posts its most appreciated and needed

wa salam

That's right sis, you have done your part

A friend can make or break you so choose the right ones, you won't regret it later

wallahualam
 

shichemlydia

Junior Member
help

salam alikoum;
in fact the world is full of people who call themselves muslims; and do nothing to islam.
prophet mohamed pbuoh said, that the believer is not expected to say dab and harmful words, especially those words that attack the other people (in arabic el ghaiba).
please sister, be patient with her and try to show her the right way, and make douae for her in your prayer, may allah guide her and guide us all ameen.
wa salam alikoum
 

salahdin

Junior Member
Asalama aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu sister you are so right no muslim talks bad . Its one of the signs of satan . Between you and her you are closer to ALMIGHTY ALLAH (subhana wa ta ala)and let nobody tell you am born muslim for a muslim its his or her character that determines is he or she is a true muslim (follow the quran & the sunnah only )

Surely, you are of tremendous nature, [68:4] and: Those who suppress their anger, and forgive other people – assuredly, Allah loves those who do good. [3:134]


Bukhari and Muslim relate that `Abdallah ibn `Amr, radhiallahu `anhu, said, "The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, was never immoderate or obscene. He used to say, ‘Among those who are most beloved to me are those who have the finest character.’"

They also narrate that `Aa’isha, radhiallahu `anha, said, "Never was the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, given the choice between two things without choosing the easier of them, as long as it entailed no sin. If it did entail sin, he was of all people the most remote from it. Never did he seek revenge for something done against himself; but when the sanctity of Allah was challenged, he would take vengeance for His sake alone


Yahya ibn Muadh (rahimahullah) gathered the characteristics of the believers in one of his essays as follows, "It is to be full of modesty, and to be harmless too. To be full of goodness and not to be corrupt. For the tongue to be truthful, for the words to be little and to be plentiful in good action. To have little slip-ups and not to be excessive. To be good to one's relatives, building closeness between them. To be dignified and grateful. To be full of contentment if Allaah restricted some provision. To be forbearing and friendly to his brothers. To be compassionate and chaste. Not to curse, swear, insult, backbite, nor to gossip. Not to be hasty, envious, hateful, arrogant nor vain. Not to lean towards worldliness, nor to extend long hopes and wishes. Not to sleep too much nor to be absent-minded, nor to show-off nor be hypocritical. Not to be selfish, but to be soft and cheerful, not servile. Loving for the sake of Allaah, being pleased for His sake and being angry only for His sake. His provision is taqwaa (reverential fear of Allaah). His worries are what will happen to him in the Afterlife. His friends remind him. His beloved is His Protector and Master. His struggle is for the Afterlife."

 

salahdin

Junior Member
بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ


The Qu'ran uses the word Kufr to denote people who cover up or hide realities. The Qu'ran uses this word to identify those who denied Allah's favors by not accepting His Dominion and Authority. Kufr thus is an antonym for Iman or disbelief in Allah and a Kafir is a non-believer. This type of Kufr is called AL-KUFRUL AKBAR or major kufr. There are many types of Al-Kufrul Akbar




9. Kufrul-I'raadh:

Disbelief due to avoidance. This applies to those who turn away and avoid the truth.

Allah(swt) says: And who is more unjust than he who is reminded of his Lord's signs but then turns away from them. Then he forgets what he has sent forward (for the Day of Judgement) [Surah Kahf(18), Ayah 57]
 

Greek_Rose_2005

Junior Member
thank you brothers and sisters for your replies, i hae decided to cut all ties with this person as i found my iman getting low and not like listening to her vulgar words from her mouth and as she has no intention to change her ways I have to look for my iman and make better friends who fear and worship Allah
 

nyerekareem

abdur-rahman
asalam alikoum brother thank you for your reply and you are so right that verse is right on also and we have to be careful who we choosing as a friend as they can lead us to jannah or to hell fire...
I was not exactly trying to change her but i was trying to make her aware of where she is a little astray but finally i see she is never one time going to listen to me...I think I will have to cut her friendship and seek friendship with more upright sisters of islam who follow the quran and sunnah..
thnk you again for your posts its most appreciated and needed

wa salam

:salam2:

i think that's the best decision that you can make. it's so important that we muslims associate ourselves with outstanding muslims. it serves many purposes. when we are amongst each other, we help each other stay on the right path. we also learn something new about our deen. it's the greatest support system that a muslim can have. i don't have many muslim friends, but i definitely steer clear of people that don't care if they're on the path to hellfire. insha'allah you will make better friends.

i also want you to remember that, you should never ever let someone that is born into a muslim family tell you that they know more or are a better muslim than you because they were born muslim. it's one thing to be born a muslim, but it's more important to be a good muslim.
:salam2:
 

Greek_Rose_2005

Junior Member
:salam2:

i think that's the best decision that you can make. it's so important that we muslims associate ourselves with outstanding muslims. it serves many purposes. when we are amongst each other, we help each other stay on the right path. we also learn something new about our deen. it's the greatest support system that a muslim can have. i don't have many muslim friends, but i definitely steer clear of people that don't care if they're on the path to hellfire. insha'allah you will make better friends.

i also want you to remember that, you should never ever let someone that is born into a muslim family tell you that they know more or are a better muslim than you because they were born muslim. it's one thing to be born a muslim, but it's more important to be a good muslim.
:salam2:
asalam alikoum

i agree with you that it one thing being born muslim but more important to be good muslim..

walahe i did not know how to not let her tell me that she is better muslim being she born into and know islam longer and me just few month, what do i say...and i could see her boiling with anger and did not want to make her more anger or have her comeback with more rude comments as it effect my spirit..and i know Allah hate anger so i just asked allah for patience to deal with her but i have seen too much bad stuff from this girl as she has myspace and facebook and she is posting picks in bikini with guys who not her brothers or fiance as well many many other thing and one with what look like liquer in it...you right and I am careful to but myself with good sisters who will support me and encourage not bring my deen down...thank you again for your posting wasalam
 
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