*Sweet as Honey* getting married!!

[Sakeena]

Asalamu alaikum wr wb brothers and sisters,

I'm doing okay subhanAllah... I may be getting married inshaAllah...

I really need some advice. A pious brother I met in March asked to marry me and I said yes. Alhamdulilah! I'm so happy with him and I want to be with him inshallah. We have a lot in common and we're compatable masha'Allah!!

But my mom found out and read my txt messages and went through my phone and has ordered me not to see him. SubhanAllah... she was so angry and started yelling at me and I was scared. I didn't say anything though. She kept asking me where I met him and who was he and why would I get married.

What should I do? I hate to anger my parents but I don't want to give up an opportunity to be happy and please Allah swt inshallah. I love my family, I really do. But I want to live my life as a Muslimah and if they can't accept that then I'll be on my way inshaAllah. I'm 20 years old, and I can choose what I want to do, but they are so oppressive and controlling... The worst part is that I've never stood up for my rights...

I'm trying to stay positive about everything, but I feel so overwhelmed and afraid of what my family will do if they find out I'm still talking to Iqra... subhanAllah... Allah knows best if we're right for each other, and I'd be so happy to be his wife inshaAllah. If not, then Alhamdulilah anyway.

I'll give more details later inshaAllah. Please keep me in your du'as inshaAllah.

Salaam alaikum wr bw!!

Jazakh Allahu Khair

your sister in Islam,

-Sakeena

 

[arzafar]

you should consult your local mosque.
a woman cannot marry without her wali (your brother father) consent. if they deprive her of her right then your grandfather becomes your wali, then your uncles, then your male cousins. if there is nobody in your family willing to become your wali then the imam/qadi(judge)/ruler becomes your wali.

However, you have to be careful in such situations which is why teh conept of wali is there in Islam. it's best to consult Muslim elders who may find out more about the guy; his family, his occupation, character etc.

 

[Sakeena]

Aswrwb!! Thank you..but my family is Christian. I am the only Muslimah. Alhamdulilah. I am a convert to Islam so I can't ask my male relatives to give me away. Anyway, I tried contacting the Imam at the Mosque, but he hasn't called back yet; he must be busy. I made Istikhara and inshaAllah I am just waiting to see what will happen inshaAllah.

you should consult your local mosque.
a woman cannot marry without her wali (your brother father) consent. if they deprive her of her right then your grandfather becomes your wali, then your uncles, then your male cousins. if there is nobody in your family willing to become your wali then the imam/qadi(judge)/ruler becomes your wali.

However, you have to be careful in such situations which is why teh conept of wali is there in Islam. it's best to consult Muslim elders who may find out more about the guy; his family, his occupation, character etc.

 

[a_stranger]

:salam2:sister

Dear sister: this is a very happy news , to be a good wife and make a family is a noble goal in Islam , but dear sister you should be very careful whom to choose as a husband . May born muslem carry only the name of islam while they are ignorant of the teachings . I advice you to consult some elder muslems( even if you have a wise nonemuslem memeber of your family whom you trust) , it is good that you ask for help . don`t be in a hurry . In case you find that this muslem brother is suitable for you and he is of good conduct and deed then i think you must be strong enough to tell your family about your choise but take your time and think about the matter . I pray that Allah sobhanahu wa taala help you and guide you. :tti_sister:

 

[Sakeena]

Noooo....I'm not telling them yet, that's my decision. please make du'a for me!!!!!

:tti_sister:

 

[Tru3m0sl3m]

Noooo....I'm not telling them yet, that's my decision. please make du'a for me!!!!!

:tti_sister:

well someday you have to tell your family right? why not sooner than later. And MashaAllaah you are so cool about it. And you sure he is a nice guy? Marry ASAP.

WasSalamu 'Alaykum

P.S. Wazup with TTI everyone's getting married MashaAllaah.

 

[ahmed_indian]

:salam2:

march? u mean last month? so we can assume that you have gained knowledge about his way of living, likes and dislikes, attitude towards Islam, family, friends, etc.

 

[Sakeena]

:salam2:

march? u mean last month? so we can assume that you have gained knowledge about his way of living, likes and dislikes, attitude towards Islam, family, friends, etc.

Oooh subhanAllah!! Did I say March? Oh, I meant May, next month!! LOL :shymuslima1: sorry brother.

 

[Sakeena]

well someday you have to tell your family right? why not sooner than later. And MashaAllaah you are so cool about it. And you sure he is a nice guy? Marry ASAP.

WasSalamu 'Alaykum

P.S. Wazup with TTI everyone's getting married MashaAllaah.

We both decided to tell my family after we get married inshaAllah.

 

[Sakeena]

May God bring out the best in this situation. You didn't say why your mom is upset? Is she unhappy because you did not tell her when you were texting this man? Or because he is Muslim? Or because you're too young? Only when we know the reasons can we attempt to help.

My mom doesn't like him because he is a Muslim. He's an amazing brother masha'Allah! :ma: My mom doesn't want me talking to Muslims, befriending Muslims or even practice Islam. SubhanAllah...

:tti_sister:

 

[a_stranger]

:salam2:

Dear sister what about his family?

 

[revert2007]

Assalamualikum
As a revert who got married,I guess I can advice a bit on the marriage in sha Allah.since your family members are not Muslims,so you do not need to fear anything as they cannot be your wali or they cannot stop you from marrying the person you want.even if they are not happy with ur marriage or they do not agree,it doesn't matter.what matters is the two of you who wants to get married.

All you need to do is to consult a mosque or Islamic Center to get the papers and witness and wali.

You need a wali-any Muslim male Judge,or any higher position in mosque who can give you the permission to get married.You need this paper document which states that your wali allows you to get married.

You need 2 male Muslim witness
He needs 2 male Muslim witness

Of course he needs to give you mahr.It can be anything or any sum of money that he is capable of giving.some country they have the mahr stated.so it depends on the mosque how the rules work there.


The rest you can ask the mosque in sha Allah.
I am not sure about the procedure in your country.But anyhow you must get married the islam way so that your marriage will be lawful.

You must get a wali,if not the mariage is not valid.The mosque people will tell you how you can search for a wali,either a Muslim judge or anyone who have the rights to give permission for you to get married(must be muslim male).

Good luck.Alhamdulilah

Assalamualikum

 

[arzafar]

sorry for getting a bit personal here but how do you know that the brother is honest, pious and that he will give your rights. I think you must get some muslim elders involved in this. Make sure that the brother is actually what he is portrays himself to be. Dont let emotions blind your reasoning.
Im not discouraging you but there are some people who use others so caution is advised when making such a huge decision in your life.

 

[meer suhail]

Asalam o Alykum

MASHAALLAH

Thats wonderful news , may Allah help and protect you

best prayers for you sis

 

[ahmed_indian]

Oooh subhanAllah!! Did I say March? Oh, I meant May, next month!! LOL :shymuslima1: sorry brother.

you got it wrong sister. i meant did u meet him just last month? so have you gained the necessary knowledge about him?

also can u pls change the colour for ur fonts?...its too bright to read.

 

[revert2007]

you got it wrong sister. i meant did u meet him just last month? so have you gained the necessary knowledge about him?

also can u pls change the colour for ur fonts?...its too bright to read.

Sorry for interupting.I don't think time a is huge problem here.it doensn't matter how long it takes to know someone to get married.

I only know my husband for 4 days.and he proposed me on the 4th day and we got married within 32 days.And we have a smart and beuatiful son age 1 year and 4 months.am sure most of you have read my marriage story before I asked the mod to delete that thread.It is all about doing things for the sake of Allah.

If we do things the right way,in sha Allah even 24 hours is sufficient enough.

there are certain steps though to be taken into consideration.why don't you(sis Sakeena) do salah istikharah.do it a few times and ask him as well to do it.In sha Allah everything will be good.

there might be many obstacles on the way.i don't think it is gonna be a smooth sailing.but in sha Allah it is just a test on both of you.you should know him better than any of us.so i don't think it is appropriate to question about that brother whether he is a good man or not.

if sis sakeena feels good about him,then in sha Allah everything should be fine.Always ask Allah's guidance.

am speaking base on my true experience. it always come back to the 2 people who are involved.

as some said,it is better for you to get some elder Muslim people to arrange things for you.my hubby went through many interviews before he can actually marry me. i guess the same should go for u as it will be more safe and appropriate on your part.

 

[Sakeena]

you got it wrong sister. i meant did u meet him just last month? so have you gained the necessary knowledge about him?

also can u pls change the colour for ur fonts?...its too bright to read.

Yes we met in March mashaAllah. I'm never changing the pink font that's that.

 

[BADTASTEBEARS]

But my mom found out and read my txt messages and went through my phone and has ordered me not to see him. SubhanAllah... she was so angry and started yelling at me and I was scared. I didn't say anything though. She kept asking me where I met him and who was he and why would I get married.

Does this mean that you're contacting him through text messages? Without mahram?

 

[Sakeena]

Does this mean that you're contacting him through text messages? Without mahram?

I was texting him before, but we stopped. I was talking to him on the phone and I just spoke to the Imam last night about this matter mashaAllah...

 

[BADTASTEBEARS]

Okay. Sorry i got a little shocked there because you said you wanted to please Allah but it contradicts.

InsyaAllah i'll pray for you.