IluvIslame
New Member
Assalamu 3alaikom brothers and sisters,
I recently got married and Al Hamdolilah I am extremely happy with my husband. We are a young couple. My husband is 23 and I am 21 years old. So you can imagine that we are starting our life and trying to build our future. The problem is the father of my husband. Since my husband first started working at age of 22, he told him that he needs to pay him 1000$ every month. Even if my husband had a wedding to pay for etc... His father didn't care and told him he will "help" ...My husband accepted because he knows his father and he doesn't want to start problems. But deep inside, he wished that he didn't have to pay him all of this specially since he just started working and wanted to make money to get married etc... Plus his father has a lot of money and is not in need.
Just recently I got to know the truth about everything. That his dad wants him to pay back EVERYTHING he did for him. That is including FOOD, SHELTER, CLOTHES, EDUCATION just EVERYTHING since he was a child. He even made him sign checks of 9000$ when he was in University just to make sure he gets his money back. So basically he told my husband that he needs to pay the 1000$ which is considered nafaqa PLUS all of the "loans" that I mentioned above. His Dad tells him that this is the Deen and you have to obey your father and he says Anta Wa Maalaka La Abeek, meaning he has to give back everything etc...
Also, he wants us to go and move to the country where his dad is living in and live in THEIR home and still pay RENT, because my husband is an engineer and has field work, so sometimes i stay alone in the house (I NEVER leave the house when my husband is away) but his father doesn't like that so he says he wants us to live in the same house so that i can be watched at all time and taken care of. I don't know if its a trust issue but 7ass Biya Lah Wa Na3mal Wakeel. He might want us to live their also because he wants us to pay rent as I mentioned earlier :s ...Everything we want to do, we have to get his permission. I just want to know how can my husband deal with all this without being a bad son?? He doesn't want to cut his father out and neither do I, but we cant stay like this it's going to kill us plus we want to save money and build our future and our kids future... Plz help any advice would be good!
Salam 3alaikom
I recently got married and Al Hamdolilah I am extremely happy with my husband. We are a young couple. My husband is 23 and I am 21 years old. So you can imagine that we are starting our life and trying to build our future. The problem is the father of my husband. Since my husband first started working at age of 22, he told him that he needs to pay him 1000$ every month. Even if my husband had a wedding to pay for etc... His father didn't care and told him he will "help" ...My husband accepted because he knows his father and he doesn't want to start problems. But deep inside, he wished that he didn't have to pay him all of this specially since he just started working and wanted to make money to get married etc... Plus his father has a lot of money and is not in need.
Just recently I got to know the truth about everything. That his dad wants him to pay back EVERYTHING he did for him. That is including FOOD, SHELTER, CLOTHES, EDUCATION just EVERYTHING since he was a child. He even made him sign checks of 9000$ when he was in University just to make sure he gets his money back. So basically he told my husband that he needs to pay the 1000$ which is considered nafaqa PLUS all of the "loans" that I mentioned above. His Dad tells him that this is the Deen and you have to obey your father and he says Anta Wa Maalaka La Abeek, meaning he has to give back everything etc...
Also, he wants us to go and move to the country where his dad is living in and live in THEIR home and still pay RENT, because my husband is an engineer and has field work, so sometimes i stay alone in the house (I NEVER leave the house when my husband is away) but his father doesn't like that so he says he wants us to live in the same house so that i can be watched at all time and taken care of. I don't know if its a trust issue but 7ass Biya Lah Wa Na3mal Wakeel. He might want us to live their also because he wants us to pay rent as I mentioned earlier :s ...Everything we want to do, we have to get his permission. I just want to know how can my husband deal with all this without being a bad son?? He doesn't want to cut his father out and neither do I, but we cant stay like this it's going to kill us plus we want to save money and build our future and our kids future... Plz help any advice would be good!
Salam 3alaikom
