TheAuthenticBase
Assalaamu 'alaykum!
The negative consequences, evil results and extremely harmful aspects due to this phenomenon of exorbitant dowers are many. They include the following:
1) Most of the young men have to remain single and most of the young ladies become old maids. The young man who has little or no wealth, and yet he wants to keep himself chaste, will soon become depressed and sad. He can remain a bachelor, tasting the bitterness of being prevented from marriage and living without a wife. Or he can bear the burden of a loan that he will not be able to repay easily, and hence he and his wife will have to live a very poor life. Soon such a marriage will be destroyed and its bonds destroyed. This is a punishment from Allaah due to the exorbitant dowers, waste and extravagance the people fell into.
2) Immorality spreads between the two sexes when they have no means to marry and they seek a substitute for its pleasures.
3) Psychological problems afflict the young men and women due to the suppression of their natural needs and the crushing of their dreams and aspirations.
4) many of the young men begin to disobey their fathers and mothers and refuse to abide by the good customs and morals that have been passed down.
5) The guardian betrays his ward by refusing to marry her to one who is pious and qualified but whom he believes will not pay a large dower. He refuses that person out of hopes that he will find someone who will pay a larger dower even though his religion and character is not pleasing. He is not working for the happiness of the woman he is in charge of. In addition to this being a type of deception or betrayal, he is leaving that woman in suspense. If he does that often, he must be considered an evil doer, lacking in faith, who is not considered trustworthy until he repents.
6) Burdening the husband beyond what he can bear [by such huge dowers] produces a hatred in his heart for his wife since his material means are now very limited due to her. The goal of marriage is happiness and not this unhappiness [that is produced by such high dowers].
[Taken from "The Fiqh Of Marriage In The Light Of The Quraan And Sunnah" by Sh. Dr. Saalih As-Sadlaan, Pp. 32-33]
http://themarriagebase.wordpress.com/2012/05/20/the-negative-effects-of-high-dowers/
1) Most of the young men have to remain single and most of the young ladies become old maids. The young man who has little or no wealth, and yet he wants to keep himself chaste, will soon become depressed and sad. He can remain a bachelor, tasting the bitterness of being prevented from marriage and living without a wife. Or he can bear the burden of a loan that he will not be able to repay easily, and hence he and his wife will have to live a very poor life. Soon such a marriage will be destroyed and its bonds destroyed. This is a punishment from Allaah due to the exorbitant dowers, waste and extravagance the people fell into.
2) Immorality spreads between the two sexes when they have no means to marry and they seek a substitute for its pleasures.
3) Psychological problems afflict the young men and women due to the suppression of their natural needs and the crushing of their dreams and aspirations.
4) many of the young men begin to disobey their fathers and mothers and refuse to abide by the good customs and morals that have been passed down.
5) The guardian betrays his ward by refusing to marry her to one who is pious and qualified but whom he believes will not pay a large dower. He refuses that person out of hopes that he will find someone who will pay a larger dower even though his religion and character is not pleasing. He is not working for the happiness of the woman he is in charge of. In addition to this being a type of deception or betrayal, he is leaving that woman in suspense. If he does that often, he must be considered an evil doer, lacking in faith, who is not considered trustworthy until he repents.
6) Burdening the husband beyond what he can bear [by such huge dowers] produces a hatred in his heart for his wife since his material means are now very limited due to her. The goal of marriage is happiness and not this unhappiness [that is produced by such high dowers].
[Taken from "The Fiqh Of Marriage In The Light Of The Quraan And Sunnah" by Sh. Dr. Saalih As-Sadlaan, Pp. 32-33]
http://themarriagebase.wordpress.com/2012/05/20/the-negative-effects-of-high-dowers/