"Tired of Being Single?"


Junior Member
I just think a lot could benefit from reading this article :)

Tired of Being Single?
March 14, 2010
By H.M. & N.S.

“Relationship idolatry happens when we place too much emphasis on our relationships rather than working on our own self-realization. What you might think you should get from a relationship (a sense of peace, love, and security) is really only attainable by getting in touch with your spiritual nature.” –Kathy Freston

Are you single? Do you feel like you’ve exhausted the Muslim “singles” pool and still can’t seem to find “The One”? Well, you’re definitely not alone. Although there isn’t any hard data available, as evidenced by the increasing number of Muslim match-making websites as well as events across mosques and Islamic centers nationwide, the number of single Muslims, particularly single Muslim women, is certainly on the rise. Consequently, some communities are seeing cases of depression, low self-esteem and anxiety among unwed women and men also steadily increasing. As a result, deep concern over how to remedy the situation is growing among mental health professionals, counselors and scholars in the Muslim community. To help identify the potential causes, there are a few important points to consider as follows:

Spousal Selectivity: In an age where media-fed images and ideals about love and romance often predominate and shape our understanding, many people have become unrealistic in their expectations. To expect your partner to meet a predetermined fixed list of criteria is setting yourself up for major disappointment. There is no such thing as a “perfect” match. While attraction and chemistry is undeniably important, being especially particular about a person’s height, skin color, eye color, hair and bank account is superficial and immature. Compatibility in matters of deen, personality, lifestyle, and future goals are among the most important criteria to look for in a spouse.

“Complete-Me”Confusion: Many people are of the belief that until they are married they are “incomplete.” Expecting someone else to fill an empty void in you is not only unfair to them but also a disservice to yourself. Your aim should be to work hard on becoming a whole person with the hopes that your life partner has done the same making your marriage whole; the union of two “incomplete” people results in a marriage of discord where unfair expectations abound. Furthermore, the prophetic tradition, “When the servant marries, then he has completed half of the deen…” should not be taken out of context to perpetuate this type of thinking. In fact, the second half of the hadith which isn’t quoted as often, “Then let him fear God with regards to the remaining half,”[1] really speaks to the point of how important it is to cultivate and refine oneself before even considering marriage.

Navigate & Network: Marriage, like any other goal in life, is something that requires effort. Unless you’ve relinquished the responsibility over to your parents or someone else and fully accept an arranged situation, you really should navigate your own marriage ship. This can only be achieved with a concerted effort to put yourself in the public eye and let your reputation precede you. The more socially adept you are, the higher your chances of finding someone. In addition to becoming a more active member in your community, make an effort to befriend married couples who can help you in your search. The added benefit from their friendship is that you can observe many things about married life and help further broaden your understanding as well as better define what you are and what you’re not looking for in a spouse.

[1] Saheeh ul-Jaami no.443


xMuSlIm GuRlx

Junior Member
maashallah! thank you for this sister... will try to bear in mind may allah grant us loving, truthful and pious partners inshallah :) x


Student of Deen
extract from
surah fatir
chapter 35 verse 11
thumma jaAAalakum azwajan
then He made you pairs.

tafsir ibn khatir

means, male and female, as a kindness and a
mercy from Him, He gave you partners from your
own kind, that you may find repose in them.

so don't worry just keep on praying to ALLAH and INSHAALLAH he will provide you with a partner :)


Love Fishing
this is a very nice web site.

this is a very excellent by islamic point of view.

Islam give the patience, honour, safety and custody of all the way

Islam is a peace full religion, so from the Islam any body should not be dangerous.

Islam is a religion that is saying about the right path and be cool from every each.

You are talking things not related to the threads.And stop posting many posts just for the sake of being full member.

Allah knows the best.


Junior Member
I know!!

i thogut it was a her the user name says maria or something....

sister revert may b you can become a mod:p

btw where IS sister rayray:(

sis rayray fell down a deep well with me! :hijabi: She's okay and everything. e keep fighting over the flashlight. :SMILY335: She's mad at me cuz I forgot to charge my cell phone lol :hearts:

ya allah madad

very nice thread.
but this ''perfect prince charming' problem is with most of the mothers in the subcontinent.They think that wealth is guarantee for every happiness as u know most of the marriage here are arranged so if the girl wants to marry a particular brother,the mother would find thousand of shortfalls in him and his family.we should be content and should accept happily what has been destined for us.If a person is complete he does not need anyone then.So sisters marry a person whom you are going to complete.he will need u then,will care for you.:hearts::hearts::hearts::hearts:
we sould, first think about our shortfalls and always keep them in mind then go for proposing someone who could match us either in virtues and in what we are lacking behind.
Alllahu A'alim