trust issues

Tomtom

Banned
As'alaamu Alaikkum

Faith my dear.

Now after having trusted him/her there is always the chance that he/she will break that trust either by betraying you or being dishonest. Nobody can predict the future except Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala the Omnipotent. One has to take a chance and take a leap f faith in trusting someone, but what are the consequences of not trusting somebody? Say you don't trust your husband/wife and in that situation you will live a life full of misery and pain, always thinking the worst. The question is if somebody has betrayed your trust, can you forgive him/her that is the real question.
 

strive-may-i

Junior Member
Whats that you are Trusting the person with? Is it really needed?

Assalamu Alaikom

What are the steps you can take to trust a person?
:wasalam:
Person who? A classmate, a colleague, a new neighbor, someone you met in the market, the spouse in arrange marriage, your would-be-partner after engagement?? Or parents, siblings, friends?? Or doctor?? The amount of trust you put is different in each case. It also matters what are you trusting the person with. your health matters (you trust with doctor), your financial details, your personal matters, your deepest fears, your best kept secrets??

Stranger - You trust the fact 'stranger', and slowly you try to know stranger And From what you see, or hear from others whom you trust... you arrive at a trust assessment that serves the purpose of your interaction. And you slowlly open up and trust more and more. Should there be a trust deficit from other side, you should show your caution, and keep yourself safe, away from danger, harm...

We all start as strangers, and then become friends. At same time, some strangers are best if they remain strangers...

Now that needs luxury of time, there are situations where you have to show a leap in faith and trust another person. But situations like marriage, business partner, that have a great impact, should always be proceeded slowlly..

Incase you are a person with trust issues, then stop thinking too much and reading between the lines.

Always have trust in Almighty Allah, be good and do good, it always comes back to you :)

Hope this helps.
 

YMYuke

Junior Member
Where i come from, we live by the motto of Trust No1.


But to answer the question, I think its all about time and their sincereness. How sincere they can be for a long time or how loyal or honest or whatever for sufficient time.

If your looking for steps you can take so that you can trust someone then i don't think you should take any steps but just wait and test them.
 
I

IslamIsSimple

Guest
See how the person is with others, whether parents, friends, and so on... one has to be alert, a little "street smart", and notice things..
 

zinirah

Junior Member
Where i come from, we live by the motto of Trust No1.


But to answer the question, I think its all about time and their sincereness. How sincere they can be for a long time or how loyal or honest or whatever for sufficient time.

If your looking for steps you can take so that you can trust someone then i don't think you should take any steps but just wait and test them.

Loyal and honesty are reasons why i don't trust this person, because they showed me that they were not loyal and honest many times.
 

zinirah

Junior Member
As'alaamu Alaikkum

Faith my dear.

Now after having trusted him/her there is always the chance that he/she will break that trust either by betraying you or being dishonest. Nobody can predict the future except Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala the Omnipotent. One has to take a chance and take a leap f faith in trusting someone, but what are the consequences of not trusting somebody? Say you don't trust your husband/wife and in that situation you will live a life full of misery and pain, always thinking the worst. The question is if somebody has betrayed your trust, can you forgive him/her that is the real question.

I try to be a person who can easily forgive and forget. I can do the forgiving part, but forgetting is not an easy process to me, because i dwell on the fact that i was betrayed.
 

Tomtom

Banned
I try to be a person who can easily forgive and forget. I can do the forgiving part, but forgetting is not an easy process to me, because i dwell on the fact that i was betrayed.

Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for being human. A lot of people will disguise this and will say or rather lie that they can forgive and forget. When one is hurt we naturally hold grudges and it takes a while, a long time for some, for it to heal. Not forgetting is a defensive mechanism, we try to learn from it and we don't want this to happen again. The worst thing is people saying they will forget without really forgetting and a few weeks or months down the line, this will flare up into something real nasty. Well of course it depends on the people I guess, and we are not all saints. To feel like this is to be human. The hardest part is only you will know what to do or know what the next step is, so I don't envy you that part but the best of luck in whatever you. Take heart in the fact that it will be YOUR decision, right wrong.

May Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala guide you. Don't forget prayer and du'a the defensive weapons of the believer.
 

strive-may-i

Junior Member
I try to be a person who can easily forgive and forget. I can do the forgiving part, but forgetting is not an easy process to me, because i dwell on the fact that i was betrayed.
:salam2:

Its said, men forget easily, women forgive easily.

But, if you were betrayed, and that act of betrayal is a sinful act, then you should examine it seriously, give advice to person. And review how you see that relationship...
 

finding light

Ya Rab! Forgive me..
Salaam :)
it has to take serious ACTION by a person to be trusted i think - especially this day in age where not a lot of people can be trusted.. Especially people who we let into our lives for example would be partner in marriage or business. There has to be proof i say. Cant invest in the market if you dont know how the shares are performing. and again - my opinion, once gone it is soooooo extremely difficult to get back. Some people's attitude is "i didnt do anything wrong so why should i prove my innocence". but in matters of the heart it should always be "i will do everything in my power to make you trust me again." so unless there is no action, i think its very difficult to trust.
my two cents...
 

Aisya al-Humaira

الحمدلله على كل حال
Assalamu'alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh,

Some beautiful quotes, hope it will give some spirits of strengths and a different view on how to reflect on what happened to yourself.

What if every single stumble, every challenge, every experience in our life was only intended for one purpose: to bring us back to our origin? What if every win, every loss, every beauty, every fall, every cruelty, and every smile was only intended to unveil another barrier between us and God? Between us and where we began, and where we are desperately seeking to return? What if everything was only about seeing Him?

When something happens that you dislike, or that hurts you, be careful not to get lost in the illusion created by pain. Look through it. Find the message in the bottle. Find the purpose. And let it lead you to glimpse just a little more of Him

When something hurts so much, it's usually because of something that you're holding onto, that you need to let go.

If you find that you are making a great effort and it is not being appreciated or you do not see results, know that He may be doing this to purify your acts from the attachment to anything other than His pleasure. That He may purify your heart to extract ikhlas (complete sincerity of intention) and sidq (truthfulness for Him).

God gives and forgives. People get and forget.

Empowerment comes when we stop being a victim of our life, and become a student of our life--studying every experience and how to use it to learn, grow and overcome.

And the last one, a good one, inshaa Allaah.

Thank those people whom you have encountered in life.
Thank those who have made you angry because they teaches you the meaning of Sabr.
Thank those who have caused you pain because they teaches you what real strengths are.
Thank those who have always disappointed you because they teaches you not to depend or put too much hope on them.
Because the truth is, you depend, you pray, you seek for strengths, you ask for help only from the Source of everything: Allaah.

And indeed, everything happened in this life, everything that Allaah has planned for you to meet such people (whom betrayed your trust). . happened for a reason. :)

:wasalam:
 

elqouds2020

Junior Member
السكوت والتفكر في خلق الله فهو في عبادة

:tti_sister:
Assalamu Alaikom What are the steps you can take to trust a person?
السلام عليكم من تكلم كثيرا استوعب قليلا ومن تكلم قليلا استوعب كثيرا والصمت حكمة:astag::astag::astag:
 

elqouds2020

Junior Member
Peace upon you spoke often absorbed a little bit, and spoke a lot and absorbed silence the wisdom of silence and reflect on God's creation is to worship
 

kalamazoo

'Millat "IBRAHIM" {AleyhiSalaam}
Assalamu Alaikom

What are the steps you can take to trust a person?



Some among you are so simple-minded that you befriend any Tom, Dick, and Harry, and, while doing so, you never test whether or not he is really fit to become your friend. Such simpletons, in most cases, are deceived in this friendship and later face much disappointment. But those who are wise sift the people they meet and examine them critically in all possible manner. Then whoever is found true, sincere and faithful, he alone is befriended and the useless ones are discarded.
 

kalamazoo

'Millat "IBRAHIM" {AleyhiSalaam}
:salam2:

Its said, men forget easily, women forgive easily.

But, if you were betrayed, and that act of betrayal is a sinful act, then you should examine it seriously, give advice to person. And review how you see that relationship...


asalaam aleykum

about forgiveness

and Allah (Jala wa Alaaa) has said

wa maa yulakaa ila dhul hadhi 'L aa dhiiym'
 

strive-may-i

Junior Member
Assalamu Alaikom

What are the steps you can take to trust a person?

Wa Alaikum Salaam Wa Rahmathullaahi Wabarakaathu hu

Quran 4:58 Chapter: The Women

إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَأْمُرُكُمْ أَن تُؤَدُّوا الْأَمَانَاتِ إِلَىٰ أَهْلِهَا وَإِذَا حَكَمْتُم بَيْنَ النَّاسِ أَن تَحْكُمُوا بِالْعَدْلِ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ نِعِمَّا يَعِظُكُم بِهِ ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ سَمِيعًا بَصِيرًا

“Verily! Allah commands that you should render back the trusts to those, to whom they are due; and that when you judge between men, you judge with justice. Verily, how excellent is the teaching which He (Allah) gives you! Truly, Allah is Ever All-Hearer, All-Seer.”
[Muhsin Khan Translated ]
 

PeArLL

-Quiet Member-
There are no steps that can be taken for trust.. it's just a matter of one's brain... I didn't say heart because sometimes a person gets so emotional that eventhough he/she does not want to trust.. ends up trusting that person... therefore one has to be careful and think from brain not the heart... Nowadays, one cannot trust anyone because everyone betrays..




May ALLAH Bless You ALL
 
Top