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to be frank i never been in the situation as you r in
but since you mention the urgency
well, if you ask my opinion
This is what i think,
so since you already leaving your house for good
n that was the decision u made like u mentioned;
1)serious very serious fight going on between me and my dad and brother sisters
2)hence does not want me to meet them because they wanted to kill me and my hubby
i would suggest that you and your hubby NOT to return no matter what BECAUSE in doing this
that would mean SUICIDE since they has threatened to kill you both.Haven't you read and watch Youtube tonnes of videos about most couple that leave home ? after certain years, those couple who ran from their homes return and got killed!
Due to this dear sister and don't worry sister make many du'a for his health to recuperate insya'allah and may Allah swt grant your du'a until then be a good wife .
You know what,i really think that leaving home to get marry somewhere else without their guardian/parent consent is NOT a great idea because when we see the position and mess that they made after all that really not big deal after all.
~May Allah swt help,protect and guide all muslims~Amin!
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Y not ummmah 99 i will be glad to.. and love u all for the sake of allahSubahan Allah, this will remain one of my most mind baffling cases I ever read.
Okay, now for advice:
As you know you have made a lot of mistakes in life. The thing is that you should have controlled your temptations. All you can do is now pray for Allah's forgiveness.
Okay, the thing you are scared of being scared of being killed, this should be put off because Allah swt is your protector and you should always rely on Him for protection. You should visit your father. It says in this Hadith:
The declaration of Prophet (PBUH) in this regard, as narrated by Al-Bara Bin Azib is that “Prophet (PBUH) has orders us to do 7 things and the first one he mentioned was paying a visit to the sick.” [Sahih Bukhari | Hadith 625 (Volume 3)
And since he is your father you must visit him, splitting relationships with your family members is counted as a major sin which can even cost Jannah, trust me, it's a great sin, you can't split relationship in Islam because this is the religion of harmony, already you have done a lot so this is the time to rectify those mistakes.
You can make use of the duas given below in order to protect yourself and your husband:
Another dua which I personally use: Recite the last 3 ayahs of Surah Hashr after praying Farj and Maghrib, it is said, 70,000 angels will form a protective barrier around.
Take the name of your Lord and visit your father!
May Allah (swt.) grant you and your husband with peace and prosperity. Ameen!
P.S. Make your husband understand the importance of Salah, you can show him Islamic videos and these all are widely available in youtube. If you want I can even give you some links, if you want!
Sis, I really really don't know what to say, this is really sad... even my whole is shaking after reading this...
Okay, let me remove one very important;
Saaiduna Abu Qatadah Radiallahu Anhu reports that the Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam has said, "A good vision (dream) is from Allah and a bad dream is from the Satan. He who sees something in a dream that he dislikes, should blow thrice on his left, must seek Allah's Refuge from the evil of the Satan (i.e., by saying: A`udhu billahi minash-Shaitanir-Rajim). Then it will not harm him.'' (Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim).
Saaiduna Jabir Radialahu Anhu reports that the Prophet of Allah (PBUH) said, "When one of you sees a bad dream let him blow three times on his left, seek refuge in Allah from the Satan three times (i.e., by saying: A`udhu billahi minash-Shaitanir-Rajim) and change the side on which he was lying.'' (Sahih Muslim)
From the afore mentioned hadith we can conclude that scary dreams and nightmares are from Shaitan and they have no meanings. One should not tell anyone of the scary dream and as mentioned in the hadith spit three times on his left, seek refuge in Allah from the Satan three times (i.e. by saying A`udhu billahi minash-Shaitanir-Rajim) and change the side on which he had been lying.
With regards to your condition, a bad dream is from Shaitan and is not connected with the Istikharah. Furthermore, it is not necessary to see a dream after doing Istikharah. After performing istikarah the person will (Insha Allah) get guidance from Allah and be inclined towards what is right. It is not necessary that it is seen in a dream or even as a vision while awake. The individual will just feel what is right and should then go on to do the task or make the decision.
You have committed several sins and because of your inability to do properly Tawbah, Shaitan has entered into your mind and thus controlling your thoughts. It is said that if you are not able to repent properly, with sincerity then Shaitan will divert you even more. Please recite ALL THE DUAS which I have shared with you after every Salah... In addition to that recite Surah Al Imran ayah-193 after Salah, this is a very powerful dua and also will help you with your repentance. http://quran.com/3/193 That also applies for your husband, inform him of all the duas I shared.
I can understand the pain which is undergoing your family side. Firstly don't doubt your brothers so much.
“The Prophet said, 'Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales; and do not look for the others' faults and do not spy, and do not be jealous of one another, and do not desert (cut your relation with) one another, and do not hate one another; and O Allah's worshipers! Be brothers (as Allah has ordered you!')
― Sahih Bukhari: Volume 8, Hadith 90
This may sound hard but you know because of your mistake, your parents got severely hurt and you realize it now. Allah says in the Quran: Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allah, but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself. (4-79)
Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a wali and two witnesses of good character.” Narrated by al-Bayhaqi from the hadeeth of ‘Imraan and ‘Aa’ishah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ 7557.
And Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. But if the marriage is consummated then the mahr is hers because she has allowed him to be intimate with her. If they dispute, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian.” Narrated by Ahmad (24417), Abu Dawood (2083) and al-Tirmidhi (1102); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ no. 2709.
Take note of what Rasulullah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) mentioned: ‘a nikah without the consent of the wali is batil‘ (void, not having any religious weight.) Here Batil can mean one of two things: such a nikah is void, and thus you both would be living in the state of adultery and sin; or as other scholars have stated, batil means a wretched, disliked and a reprehensible action had taken place in the Sight of Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala). Both definitions imply that one should be cautious with their independent mindset on marriage. Thus, a person insisting on marring a partner without parental consent would be aiding Shaytan to get the better of them...
THIS EXPLAINS HOW SHAITAN IS MANIPULATING YOU
THE THINGS YOU DO SHOULD NOW:
But I believe it is high time for your father and brother to accept your marriage because Allah also says: The Prophet ﷺ taught us that: “Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy” (Al-Bukhari). Try to make them understand because of their anger not only you and your husband will be in trouble in the Hereafter but they too can get punished because of their failure to forgive you.
- Stop thinking- "if this happens then what...." Every time you doubt, when your thought utter "if" Shaitan enters you... A true believer never doubts or ponders over the mercy and blessing of Allah swt. You have erred doesn't mean you will not receive His mercy.
“Say: O My slaves who have transgressed against themselves! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (39:53)
In a Hadith Qudsi: Anâs (MayAllah be pleased with him) states that he heard Rasulullah (Prophet Mohammad – Peace Be Upon Him) saying that Allâh said, "O son of Adam, as long as you supplicate to me and have hope in Me, I will forgive you whatever the sin be and I will not bother. O son of Adam, if your sins reach the clouds in the sky and you seek forgiveness, I will forgive you and I will not bother. O son of Adam, if you come to Me with so many sins that they fill the earth, and you meet Me without having ascribed partners to Me, I will forgive you with the same great amount of forgiveness." (Tirmizi, vol. 2 p. 194)
- Seek the acceptance of your parents upon your marriage as soon as possible and get everything cleared between your husband and your father, it seems like he has not yet approved of your marriage which is VERY dangerous because every time you associate with your husband, it will be recorded as a sin to Allah swt. Allah give priorities to the feelings of parents than feelings of their children because parents are the ones who sacrificed everything for the upbringing.
- Your children will be fine. Just rely upon Allah. Allah says He is the best of the protectors and helpers- (3:150)
May Allah protect you and your family from all evil Ameen... This is my best effort, I hope it helps and Allah knows best, He is Azizul Hakim- The Most Wise.
Jazakallahi khair dear respected sis.. please pray for me.. i repent a lot may Allah subhanawatala accept my supplication and forgive me and help me live a sinfree life and make me my hubby and my sons amongst the rightious and pious one whom Allah subhanawatala loves and will have mercy on us in this duniya and akhirah nd will grant us in jannah.. aameenAssalamu alaikim wa rahmatu Allah wa barakatuh , dear sister keep in your mind the there is no limt for the mercy of Allah , as long as you felt sorry and asked for forgiveness , pray five times....follow the Sunna as much as you can ......your repentance is accepted by the mercy of Allah inshaAllah. I suggest that Since your father won't help in the matter of nikah you should ask for help from your muslem community. There should be away to make things correct, and try to be in touch with a good muslem family to learn more about Islam and how to practice it. Leave your family for a time till things calm down . Don't worry if you seek the pleasure of Allah and obey him your life will be happy and secure.