Valentines Party in KG

Discussion in 'TurnToIslam Lounge !' started by loveislam1, Feb 13, 2007.

  1. loveislam1
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    loveislam1 Junior Member

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    Asalam ALikoum wa rahmatallah
    Inshallah this finds you all in great health and iman,

    I have come to seek some opinions on what I should do for my 6 year old who attends public school and thier party tommorow.

    I feel like we have been having celebrations at school since October for Halloween, I took him out of school. However for Christmas the party was presented as a book exchange, well we received a christmas sticker book. I want to know how shoudl I react to these situations?

    Should I:

    A) take my son out of school on just hte days of the party? The problem with this option is that it is not only the day of the party for a week there is the "preperation" for the party, the talk of the party

    B) let him go to school but not let him participate?

    C) Let him participate ?

    I really am tired of this and jus wish I could get him into Islamic Schooling, which is soooooooooooooooooooooo expensive for our income not to mention 30 miles away. We agreed to put him in a publlic school so as not to shelter him and felt it would help him become strong in Another thing I worry about just taking him out of school for those days and not letting him see what happens is he will revolt when he gets older because he feels like he "missed out on something"

    We are tied to the masjid allhamdullilah, he is there at least 3 times a week and we make Eids special and ramadan we are there for taraweh prayers and there for laylt al qadr, he already says he wants to fast 1/2 days this next ramadan inshallah, how do I establish his muslim identity without sheltering him where he revolts but still keeping islamic pronciples?
  2. loveislam1
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    loveislam1 Junior Member

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    Asalam ALikoum
    I also wanted to mentioned I wnat an answer that I can use tin order to be consitant with him on these days. Meaning I will use it always I am leaning toards either take him from school or take him to school and not let him participate anyway I will use it for halloween thanksgiving chrsitmas valentines. I wonder why they jsut cant take all of them out from school, but that is a whole other subject.

    I pray that our situation changes and we can put him in islamic school
  3. zarqa
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    zarqa Junior Member

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    Asalam alikoum,
    I work in a school and feel sorry for your situation. My own personal experience is that yes we do celebrate christmas but also eid, divalli chinese new year etc etc. If you and your family have strong beliefs in your faith would it not be possible to talk to your child and give them the added knowledge of all these festivals around us in our present world. You can then re- iterate how special your faith is and use it has a positive advantage. I think also if this concerns you could you possibly talk to the teachers and explain your concerns. If they agreed that xmas would be named 'book share' then i totally disagree with the books then being christmas themed. that is an issue that needs to be resolved. We use everyday story books! it is not a hard problem for them. I feel i could write so much about this and i do apologise if i am boring you. Maybe there are also other parents who attend the school who have the same feelings. We live in a multicultural society and they need to be aware of the issues as it is causing you problems. I am quite shocked they celebrate halloween and valentines day. What age is your child? As i dont know where that fits in to the curriculum, or maybe i am very fortunate to work in a good school???
  4. amyaishazouaoui
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    amyaishazouaoui Junior Member

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    think about it

    :salam2:

    I do recall this subject coming up a few month ago in the masjid. It went kind of like this........

    There are some people who would kill their kds if they comitted zina, yet those same people send their kids to chool and allow them to sing xmas song and be in the nativity play and to celebrate diwali with the hindus and sikhs etc....which are all acts of kufr.

    Kufr is worse than zina as i understand coz zina can be forgiven.

    Do you get my point???

    But I have to say I would sometimes prefer to send my kid to a CoE or catholic school if I had the money living in this area. Here the kids are really trashy, sad to say.
    I guess u have to find the right balance....can you not opt out of some things????????

    :wasalam:
    A
  5. umm hussain
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    umm hussain Junior Member

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    home schooling

    Since Muslim schools are too expensive for a lot of people the only solution left for us is to home school our children. People say 'but they will not have any other children to play with, they get lonely, interaction skills etc,' I say would you rather have your children play with other children yet at the same time are being conditioned to think a certain way or act in a particular way, even if it goes against the religion. There are a lot of things wrong with non-muslim schools not just the parties,for example, music, sex education(in some schools at the age of 7) and soon they will not have to have parental consent to teach them that, same sex relationships are alright.

    Like you mentioned if you take your child out on the day of the party yet they have the whole week to prepare for this event, of course they will feel like they are missing something. All that preparation for nothing.

    If you teach your children at home, you teach them what you want and do not run the risk of them getting foreign ideas. Some parents run play groups especially for home-schooled children, maybe 2-3 times a week so the children get to socialise and generally play together, in summer maybe organise picnics as well and use it as a learning experience as well.

    There are too many things to celebrate in these schools. I home school my children and there are a lot of websites to help get ideas on what to teach them and there is support when needed in some instances. I last heard that some Muslim organisation was going to compile a syllabus for home schooled children to follow, i.e Islamic Studies, Quran and what they have to achieve at a particular level.
  6. loveislam1
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    loveislam1 Junior Member

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    Asalam Alikoum
    So what I am gathering from you is I should take him out of school for the day of the parties? He is still a little young ....he is only 6 so I dont really know how to talk about the other holidays in a way he can understand, (ie commercialism, capitalism, not really jesus' birthday and paganism roots, )?!

    My son is only 1 in 4 children in the entire elementary school that is Muslim the other 3 are in other classes and the other 3 children are brothers from the same family.

    It IS frusterating.

    I will just continue of course to make dua that ALLAH subhana wa ta'ala gives my children wisdom and guidance. :tti_sister: In the menatime I think I will take him out of school on thier parties...
  7. loveislam1
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    loveislam1 Junior Member

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    Asalam ALikoum Umm Hussain
    Jazak ALLAh khier for the advise, Inshalah my husband can find a day job (to make up for the loss of my job) and we can take him out next year, what will you do when they reach teenager years? I dont think I am smart enough to teach them at that age.
  8. NewMuslim
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    NewMuslim Slave of Allah

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    Walaykum Salaam
    I would choose Option B. You're child needs schooling, and home schooling would be difficult for you especially since you have a problem only on one day of the year.

    Write a note to your child's school and say that you don't want your child to participate in the party due to religious purposes. "Religious Purposes" usually clicks them and they'll actually do something.

    Don't mind the talk of the party. We aren't corrupted by that should appropriate measures be made. Just make sure to tell your child why he/she can't participate and don't leave him/her confused once you pull him/her out of the party.
  9. zarqa
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    zarqa Junior Member

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    unfortunately i very much doubt the school would change their policies if it only affects so few children, which is a great shame. You must find the right balance for you and your family and it may be the only option you have is to take him out. You say you are concerned about home teaching him when he is older, why dont you speak to other parents in your community about other schools not all have the same narrow minded practices. May be if you write to the local authority and explain your situation they may be able to advise you on other options. You have right to bring your child up in the right environment which doesnt conflict with your morale values. Inshalla you will come to the right decision.
  10. loveislam1
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    loveislam1 Junior Member

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    and home schooling would be difficult for you especially since you have a problem only on one day of the year.

    Its about 4 or 5 days a year, from halloween thanksgiving, chrsitmas valnetines and easter there are 5 parties.

    I feel like I am peddling in circles, if I have one son taken care (myyounger stays with his dad while I work) the other I am afriad of where his education is coming from?! Maybe it is a sign I should make hijrah to a muslim country....:lol:
  11. junaid hasan
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    junaid hasan Banned

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    for a muslim the mosque is like as the fish need water for his life.

    if we stay always contact with mosque or with the people of spend a lot of time in mosque then i think the parties will not show any effects in our life.

    our children must be spend there time in the environment of mosque as much we also .
  12. NewMuslim
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    NewMuslim Slave of Allah

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    As Salaamu Alaykum
    Thanksgiving you shouldn't have too much of a problem with. The holiday is about giving thanks and eating, it has no religious meaning. However, the others do (Halloween is just a pointless waste of time).

    You should move to a Muslim country if you have the means, though. In the Qur'an, Allah (SWT) states that when a person complains when he dies: "I was oppressed and I couldn't practice Islam!", the angels will say: "Was not Allah's vast Earth large enough that you could've moved to a place where you were safer?" (or something along those lines, but with the same exact meaning).
  13. Globalpeace
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    Need for Islamic School!

    Asslamo Allaikum,

    ****FOR THOSE WHO ARE UNABLE TO MOVE IN THE NEAR FUTURE********

    Alhumdo lillah I have been involved in Islamic schools in both US & UK for a number of years and although I am not a trained teacher (by profession) but I do have some observations that I would like to share on that front.

    I spoke to a mixed race Muslim couple recently (Revert Brother, Arab Sister) who tried to put their kids in an Islamic school but their children were bullied.

    I assured them in our “weekend” school this sort of thing will Insha’Allah not happen and doesn’t happen. Our plan was to extend this to a normal full time school but Alhum do lillah our Mosque has opened one.

    Having said that there are many really good Islamic schools both in the US & UK Masha’Allah.

    We started 4-5 years ago with 5 kids because we found that most of the Mosques in the UK cater for “Asian children” and standards of teaching Qur’aan (Tajweed) etc is not good to say the least; Alhum do lillah we are doing well (a lot still needs to be done as we believe progression never stops). We are one of the few Islamic schools in the Midlands area with trained teachers, a curriculum, and all the rest of the system that goes into a normal school so the kids feel great. We also do programs particularly for girls (because in our opinion Muslim girls are often neglected in the communities and Mosques); couple of sisters from Green Lane Mosque (Birmingham, UK) came on New Year eve to talk to our female students & planning on another one on Easter weekend Insha’Allah.

    Over the years looked at many different curricula and teaching guides out in the market & have realised that there is no single good resource; some are strong in one area while others are strong in other.

    I do strongly believe that we should be teaching “Islam” and not culture and we should be prepared and cater for Muslim children from all backgrounds (Asians, Blacks, Arabs, Whites, Mixed etc.) although culture should be taken into account when teaching as sometimes that’s all the child knows and can relate to.

    Before setting up the school I was asked to be a caretaker Imam in another Mosque in UK so I tried to overhaul the local Madrasa brought in laptops, spreadsheets (to chart the student’s progress etc.), put a system in Place to visit and inform parents and get them involved in the Islamic education…Masha’Allah some of the brothers appreciated it while most of the older attendees of the Mosque didn’t appreciate it. I was politely asked to step down & all of my innovations were discarded after I left.

    Brothers/Sisters! This is a matter of life and death for our children; we need to be positive and do something….When you start in the beginning its hard, its financially draining but then Allah (SWT) helps you along the way because you do it for the sake of Allah (SWT) & not for name, fame or gain.

    I do work with some Brothers/Sisters in USA to help them setup at least a weekend Islamic School (curriculum, policies etc.) & would be only happy to help anyone else anywhere else in the West Insha’allah,

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