BrotherZak
Junior Member
I was raised as an Anglican (Church of England), the youngest (by one hour - I have a twin brother) of eight children. My father died when I was about 10 years old.
I attended Sunday School, was confirmed, sang in the choir, would have been an altar boy but National Service intervened, went to Youth Fellowship classes.
I went regularly to church every Sunday morning and evening. I was called up for National Service in 1958 at the age of 20.
After initial training I was posted to Malta, from there I spent 3 months in Tripoli in Libya. After demob I came back to the UK and was still practising Christianity.
Searching for Faith
Doubts started to enter my mind. When we turned to face the altar to say the Creed, I found myself asking why I was doing it? Then I began to doubt it and then to disbelieve in it.
When I spoke to the Vicar about this he told me not to think about it as I was in danger of stepping outside the Church - becoming a heretic.
The doubts wouldn't go away; they increased to include the resurrection, inherited sin and so on. Then I felt I wouldn't find God in the Church and I would be a hypocrite if I continued to attend the Church. So, I stopped going.
For some 8 years I had no formal religion. I did have a code of life, a set of values based on: always telling the truth, helping others where possible and not taking advantage of certain situations I might finds myself in.
I initially called myself an atheist but was told, as you are still looking for a God you must be an agnostic. I discussed belief systems with the various people I came in contact with and what they got out of their belief system. I read any books I came across on various religions.
In this way I found out a little about Hinduism, Buddhism, Confucianism, Taoism, Judaism, Sikhism, Roman Catholicism (and probably others) and the ism of my day was Swedenborgenism - philosophy. Anyway, for various reasons I felt none of these were what I was looking for.
Then, I went to work in a Research Lab in Rutherford outside Oxford. I moved into the senior staff hostel where we used to discuss Religion and Politics. There were people there from Iran, India and Pakistan.
The Opening of a Heart
One evening after dinner someone described the Prayer in Islam with respect to al-Fatiha and the hadith Qudsi. This had an impact on me as tears came to my eyes when the Fatiha was explained.
I went to the Information Bureau in Oxford to find out about a Mosque. They didn't know of one but gave me the name of a man who might be able to help me.
I phoned him up and told him, "I don't know if I can be a Muslim but with no knowledge I will never find out."
We arranged that I would visit his house two evenings a week and discuss Islam. He was an Englishman who had embraced Islam about 20 years earlier and was the Imam of the Masjid in Oxford at that time.
After 6 months I was following him in the prayer and beginning to practice Islam on my own. I used to attend Thursday evenings in the Masjid for Tafsir. I moved to computers and shift work.
One Friday about 18 months after our first meeting, I was asked after Juma' if I had said the Shahadah. When I said "No!" I was asked, "Don't you think it's time?" I asked in all humility, "Do you think I know enough?"
I said the Shahadah in March 1970.
During 1972 I kept wondering if my faith would be strong enough, if there would come a time when I would want to go away from Islam (as I had gone away from Christianity).
I asked the Imam who told me "First you get a little knowledge then you begin to practice it. If you continue to practice it is because you believe in it (otherwise you would stop). In this way your faith develops."
This still left the question open, of whether I would be able to pass every test of my new found faith.
A Sleepless Night
One night I couldn't sleep. In my mind came, "O you who believe, go not astray from the right path, the path that leads to Allah." Shivers ran up and down my spine. I sat up and switched on the light.
I reached for a pencil and paper and wrote those words down. Then I laid back down. As I was going over them in my mind... it continued, ...:The One God, Lord of all Creation."
Again I sat up and wrote the words down. Then I went to sleep.
In the morning I looked at what I had written:
"O you who believe." Did I really believe, was this confirmation?
"Go not astray from the right path." The right path… which is the right path?
"The path that leads to Allah." To Allah, the Muslim name for God, the right path is the path to Islam.
"The One God." Was this a denial of my Christian (trinitarian) past?
"Lord of all Creation." There is only One God. There is only one Creator, call Him what you will.
My doubts evaporated (al-hamdulillah).
http://www.readingislam.com/servlet...agename=Zone-English-Discover_Islam/DIELayout
I attended Sunday School, was confirmed, sang in the choir, would have been an altar boy but National Service intervened, went to Youth Fellowship classes.
I went regularly to church every Sunday morning and evening. I was called up for National Service in 1958 at the age of 20.
After initial training I was posted to Malta, from there I spent 3 months in Tripoli in Libya. After demob I came back to the UK and was still practising Christianity.
Searching for Faith
Doubts started to enter my mind. When we turned to face the altar to say the Creed, I found myself asking why I was doing it? Then I began to doubt it and then to disbelieve in it.
When I spoke to the Vicar about this he told me not to think about it as I was in danger of stepping outside the Church - becoming a heretic.
The doubts wouldn't go away; they increased to include the resurrection, inherited sin and so on. Then I felt I wouldn't find God in the Church and I would be a hypocrite if I continued to attend the Church. So, I stopped going.
For some 8 years I had no formal religion. I did have a code of life, a set of values based on: always telling the truth, helping others where possible and not taking advantage of certain situations I might finds myself in.
I initially called myself an atheist but was told, as you are still looking for a God you must be an agnostic. I discussed belief systems with the various people I came in contact with and what they got out of their belief system. I read any books I came across on various religions.
In this way I found out a little about Hinduism, Buddhism, Confucianism, Taoism, Judaism, Sikhism, Roman Catholicism (and probably others) and the ism of my day was Swedenborgenism - philosophy. Anyway, for various reasons I felt none of these were what I was looking for.
Then, I went to work in a Research Lab in Rutherford outside Oxford. I moved into the senior staff hostel where we used to discuss Religion and Politics. There were people there from Iran, India and Pakistan.
The Opening of a Heart
One evening after dinner someone described the Prayer in Islam with respect to al-Fatiha and the hadith Qudsi. This had an impact on me as tears came to my eyes when the Fatiha was explained.
I went to the Information Bureau in Oxford to find out about a Mosque. They didn't know of one but gave me the name of a man who might be able to help me.
I phoned him up and told him, "I don't know if I can be a Muslim but with no knowledge I will never find out."
We arranged that I would visit his house two evenings a week and discuss Islam. He was an Englishman who had embraced Islam about 20 years earlier and was the Imam of the Masjid in Oxford at that time.
After 6 months I was following him in the prayer and beginning to practice Islam on my own. I used to attend Thursday evenings in the Masjid for Tafsir. I moved to computers and shift work.
One Friday about 18 months after our first meeting, I was asked after Juma' if I had said the Shahadah. When I said "No!" I was asked, "Don't you think it's time?" I asked in all humility, "Do you think I know enough?"
I said the Shahadah in March 1970.
During 1972 I kept wondering if my faith would be strong enough, if there would come a time when I would want to go away from Islam (as I had gone away from Christianity).
I asked the Imam who told me "First you get a little knowledge then you begin to practice it. If you continue to practice it is because you believe in it (otherwise you would stop). In this way your faith develops."
This still left the question open, of whether I would be able to pass every test of my new found faith.
A Sleepless Night
One night I couldn't sleep. In my mind came, "O you who believe, go not astray from the right path, the path that leads to Allah." Shivers ran up and down my spine. I sat up and switched on the light.
I reached for a pencil and paper and wrote those words down. Then I laid back down. As I was going over them in my mind... it continued, ...:The One God, Lord of all Creation."
Again I sat up and wrote the words down. Then I went to sleep.
In the morning I looked at what I had written:
"O you who believe." Did I really believe, was this confirmation?
"Go not astray from the right path." The right path… which is the right path?
"The path that leads to Allah." To Allah, the Muslim name for God, the right path is the path to Islam.
"The One God." Was this a denial of my Christian (trinitarian) past?
"Lord of all Creation." There is only One God. There is only one Creator, call Him what you will.
My doubts evaporated (al-hamdulillah).
http://www.readingislam.com/servlet...agename=Zone-English-Discover_Islam/DIELayout
