Warning! Revert/Convert or you want to Revert/Convert:A letter for you from a Convert

Discussion in 'New Muslims' started by Andalusian, Aug 6, 2006.

  1. Andalusian
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    Andalusian Peace

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    FRUSTRATIONS OF A MUSLIM CONVERT


    The "miracle" of the increasing number of converts is not only that people are finding the light of Islam in an age of such darkness but that they are coming to the faith despite the actions of some of its believers.


    Introduction


    I have been a Muslim for over two years now. Whilst I am deeply satisfied with Islam on an intellectual and theological level, much too often I have been far from happy in my experiences with fellow Muslims on a practical level. I have faced considerable difficulties in my attempts to develop as a Muslim. Although I have made the acquaintance of many Muslims through various mosques I have attended, this has been overwhelmingly only on a superficial level. I am close only to two Muslims in the city where I live. I met them coincidentally. One is a neighbor, the other a former colleague whom I now rarely see.


    Lack of Induction


    Although I have a good understanding of the basic theology of Islam and Islamic history, two years after my conversion I am to some extent still struggling with the practical daily basics. According to a hadith,"The search for knowledge is an obligation laid on every Muslim."(Ibn Majah, Baihaqi). A convert needs to search for more knowledge than a born Muslim who has had a lifetime of schooling in the faith. In my personal experience, it seems that established Muslims make at best only a token effort to assist new Muslims in fulfilling their religious obligations.

    To my profound disappointment, as far as my Islamic education is concerned, I have been left to fend for myself. It would seem that no mosque I have visited has a systematic induction program for new converts. The mosques in my area are all dominated by south Asian immigrants, with a sprinkling of Africans on Fridays. They are not attuned to the needs of indigenous converts. In fairness, I seem to be the only white person (i.e. convert) at the mosques I attend, so they may not perceive a need. But nevertheless, I live in a major city with a significant Muslim population and many mosques. Surely there must be somewhere where a new Muslim adult can receive training in the practical daily basics. Surely the established Muslim community should know where to refer the convert even if they are not suitably geared up themselves at the local mosque.

    The Catholic Church has a thorough practical and theological induction program that is actually compulsory for people who wish to join it. The Anglican Church actively advertises its Alpha Course to attract and teach new converts. We Muslims seem to have nothing organized.

    When it comes to lack of both meaningful social welcome and organized teaching of Islam for new Muslims, American convert, teacher and writer, Yahiha Emerick, hits the nail on the head in his article Ten Things Every Muslim Must Do. At number six on his list, he says:

    If you see any new Muslims at your Masjid (mosque), then partially "adopt" them into your family. The convert experience is basically one of isolation and loneliness. You'd be surprised to know that most converts are outright ignored by the people in the Masjid. Beyond a few pleasantries and handshakes, they are usually never made to feel welcome or accepted. They are often cut off from their non-Muslim friends and relatives so they are doubly vulnerable. A new convert should be invited into various people's home for dinner a minimum of six times a month. Get together with others and make sure you all put the new convert on your guest list for any sort of gathering.


    Internet - the good, the bad and the dangerous!


    Since my conversion to Islam I have had some horrible experiences with Muslims both on the Internet and face to face. I briefly mention these experiences here as a warning to other new Muslims. The Internet can be a wonderful place for learning about Islam. In fact, since my conversion, the Internet has been my primary source of materials with which to educate myself further about Islam. There are many excellent sites, but I would caution the new Muslim not to accept the information on all sites blindly, particularly if they have an arrogant, strident or unpleasant tone or stray from plain facts and concentrate on controversial opinion or on an overtly political agenda.

    I would also urge new Muslims to avoid email forums or chat rooms about Islam absolutely. There are some nasty people lurking there - self-styled pseudo scholars preaching hellfire, doling out personal abuse and decrying sincere Muslims as non-believers. I was left utterly demoralized at one time and very, very angry on several occasions. I have now unsubscribed from all such forums. New Muslims should keep in mind the Hadith: "Verily, Allah is mild and is fond of mildness, and He gives to
    the mild what He does not give to the harsh." (Muslim) If a website or e-group you come across is far removed from the above, then remove yourself from it!

    There are also nice, well-meaning people who offer advice about matters of faith and practice without being in any way qualified to do so. If they get things wrong, they could unwittingly be leading the uninitiated astray and doing more harm than good. Be wary of accepting anything without a quotation from the Quran or authenticated hadith to back it up.

    Having said that, if it is one of the nasty brigade who has come seemingly armed with references, firstly check the actual quotation in your Quran. Have they really only quoted what is there or have they embellished it with their own interpretation? It happens. And, if the quotation is genuine but sounds harsh to your ears, then use a commentary to become aware of the context in which the verse was revealed. Read widely. For every hard-line, unpleasant interpretation, there is usually a mild one from a serious writer or scholar.


    Beware the Zealots!


    Some real-life encounters can also be disconcerting. Whilst I have enjoyed an excellent rapport with some converts, the proverbial "zeal of the converted" can overflow in others. Some can turn into hard-line absolutists - a caricature of a Muslim. Also beware the political zealots. Recently while in London I had to endure a sermon at Jumma salat (Friday afternoon congregational prayers) held at a university in which the student acting as imam was very obviously pushing the agenda of a radical minority political grouping and spoke at length about whom it was our duty to kill!

    Sadly far too many young Muslim men in England - the occasional convert and, particularly, the sons of Asian immigrants - get far too worked up about this or that political agenda and are in danger of overlooking the peaceful, spiritual core of Islam. As the writer Abdal-Hakim Murad puts it in his excellent essay British and Muslim, unsettled, discontented second generation Asian immigrant Muslims in Britain tend to locate their radicalism not primarily in a spiritual, but in social and political rejection of the oppressive order around them. Their unsettled and agitated mood is not always congenial to the recent convert, who may, despite the cultural distance, feel more comfortable with the first rather than the second generation of migrants, preferring their God-centered religion to what is often the troubled, identity-seeking Islam of the young.

    Amen to that! These young radicals are prone to behave in the most obnoxious and nasty manner towards those other Muslims who do not agree with them. I would simply call the following words from the Quran and ahadith to their attention:

    "Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious; for your Lord knows best who have strayed from His Path, and who are truly guided."
    Quran 16:125

    "Do you know what is better than charity and fasting and prayer? It is keeping peace and good relations between people, as quarrels and bad feelings destroy mankind."
    (Muslims & Bukhari) Top

    Must we proceed at the pace of the most prudish?
    Whilst I have enjoyed many conversations about Islam in mixed male-female company (including with ladies who wear hijab), a small but vociferous minority of female born Muslims I have encountered have been very stand-offish and overly prudish. Despite the fact that the Quran teaches us that

    "The believing men and women, are associates and helpers of each other." <Quran, Al-Taubah 9:71>

    My own understanding is that what is improper is for one man and one woman to be alone together, but there should not be a problem about other mixing provided that proper Islamic behavior is maintained. I, a man, would never even have had the opportunity to discover Islam in the first instance were it not for friendships with several born Muslims (three of whom were women) prompting me to investigate the religion.

    According to the prominent Sudanese Muslim scholar and leader, Dr. Hassan al-Turabi who is widely portrayed in the west as an Islamic fundamentalist, in his seminal 1973 work On the Position of Women in Islam and in Islamic Society'

    "In the model society of Islam, Muslims used to assemble freely and frequently; they were mostly acquainted with each other, men and women; they conversed and interacted intensively. But all those activities, were undertaken in a spirit of innocence and in the context of a virtuous society...Islam tolerates that one may greet women or talk to them in decent and chaste language and with good intent. The Prophet used to do so."


    "Muslim Name" and Attire?


    Another gripe I have is the ignorance of many born Muslims about what they believe to be the necessity for a convert to adopt a so-called Muslim name. When I took my Shahada, I was asked not whether I wished to choose a "Muslim name" but what name I wished to adopt. Not knowing any better at the time, I did reluctantly choose a new name, and used it briefly in Muslim circles. However, I did not change any of my official documents. Only later did I discover that there is, in principle, no requirement whatsoever to change one's name. The original converts to Islam at the time of Prophet Mohammed usually kept the Arabic name they always had. The only exceptions were people who had a name with unpleasant or pagan connotations. So-called "Muslim names" are, in the main, simply Arabic ones or traditional names from countries that were early adopters of Islam. There is no requirement for a new Muslim to adopt one of these.

    While I respect (though do not necessarily agree with) the choice of those Muslim converts who have adopted a new name, I expect all Muslims to respect the right of other converts such as myself to retain their original name. I generally now use my "real" name, not the "Muslim name" that was initially thrust upon me. Sadly I have come under pressure from some ignorant born Muslims on this matter.

    To be frank, I feel that adopting a "Muslim name", makes it easier for one's existing circle of family and friends to dismiss one's conversion to Islam as an act of eccentricity which they can brush off. By changing one's name and starting to wear, say, Pakistani clothing, one confirms in their minds the foreignness or alien nature of what is supposed to be universal Islam. I believe that these actions, or dare I say distractions, make it harder for most people from non-Muslim countries to identify with Islam, the welcoming and inclusive universal religion open to all, and see how it could be relevant to their own lives.

    The spiritually motivated western convert to Islam, whose Islam is centered on God not agitation, has a golden opportunity to depoliticize the widespread negative western perception of Islam and to diminish the impression that Islam is for strange, backward, sometimes frightening foreigners - Arabs and Asians - but not for westerners. In my view, this opportunity is thrown away or at the very least is hobbled by self-inflicted damage when a western convert unnecessarily adopts a foreign name and clothing, thus only reinforcing the preconceived notions and prejudices that non-Muslim fellow westerners tend to hold about Islam.


    Relationship with non-Muslim parents


    Again with regard to the issue of a "Muslim name" and similar matters, I think it is also important to bear in mind here the teaching of Islam with regard to one's duty to family, particularly one's parents even if they are themselves non-Muslims.

    Your Lord had decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you are kind to parents whether one or both of them attain old age in your lifetime. Say not to them a word of contempt or repel them but address them in terms of honor and out of kindness lower to them the wing of humility and say: "My Lord, bestow on them your mercy, even as they cherished me in childhood".
    (Quran 17:23-24)

    Indeed there was an occasion when Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) commanded a believer to care for his non-Muslim parents rather than participate in Jihad (holy war).

    Abdullah ibn Omar relates: "Once a person came to the Messenger of Allah and expressed his desire to participate in jihad in order to please Allah. The Holy Prophet asked him "Are your parents alive?" The man said "Yes. Both are alive". The Holy Prophet said 'Then go and serve them well".
    (Bukhari and Muslim).

    I felt that it was important that my parents who are both practicing Catholics should realize that I was not rejecting them, my upbringing or most of the things they held dear. It was simply that I had come to a new understanding of theology. Rejecting the name they had given me could really have been interpreted as being quite insulting to them, which in itself would be contrary to Islam. I am thinking here of the following ahadith:

    "He, who wishes to enter paradise at the best gate, must please
    his father and mother."
    (Bukhari & Muslim)

    In my case, I felt that abandoning for no good reason the very name given me by my loving parents would have been straining the ties of relationship, creating displeasure and certainly not indicative of showing kindness to or taking friendly care of my mother and father.


    So-called "Islamic Causes"


    When I, a westerner and a former practicing Christian, became a Muslim, I became just that - a Muslim, a believer in the religion of Islam, i.e. someone who believes in the oneness of God as opposed to the concept of Trinity and who accepts Mohammed (pbuh) as a prophet of God. I'm the same person with the same name, wearing the same western style of clothing (though now respecting the modest dress code of Islam) and eating the same style of food (though now making sure that my meat is halal). I have not rejected my country, its culture or tradition. I simply now hold different theological beliefs.


    Final Thoughts


    Based on my personal experience, my advice either to new Muslims or anyone considering the possibility of accepting Islam would be simply to judge a religion not by its adherents, many of whom may fall far short of the ideal in a variety of ways (and I include myself in that!), but rather by the theology and teachings of the religion itself. To be honest, I remain in Islam very much in spite of and not because of my experiences with Muslims. Only a handful have been of any help to me and quite a few hard-line politicos and joyless, uptight puritans have been a real hindrance. However, despite my great disappointment at both the lack of organized support available to new Muslims and the widespread politically focused rather than God-centered Islam so prevalent today, plus my intense dislike of the nasty behavior and attitudes of some of the Muslims I have encountered in person and online, I have most definitely found in the religion of Islam an intellectual and theological satisfaction that I never knew in Christianity. And at the end of the day, one's beliefs about God are what truly matters.

    Allahu a`lam. God knows best.​

    Source :salam.
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  2. Karima
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    Karima Junior Member

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    Alhamdulillah
    Very well said! You were strong to hold fast to the facts.
    I am sorry you have come across some 'distant' muslims in your encounters. Keep in mind that each of us are in different planes of being children of God. It is as a result of your discernments that you can assess the variety and tempermants of muslims.
    Thank you, thank you, thank you, for your letter of what the reverts are faced with.
    Not only that, but I have to thank God for my ears to hear beautiful music. And I stress, not haram words, haram meanings, haram anything....but gorgeous orchestrations of music!
    Do I do this in order to fulfill the life of Islam? To do away with music that has been my life? (I know about Cat Stevens.....my music has always been towards God.....unlike the secular concerts that Cat gave....)
    Do I become 'better' than those with faith in the Torah and the Bible, because I understand and believe that the prophet Muhammad was visited by the angel Gabriel?...when no one ever told me this before in the history books, or in the teachings of the church?
    I am aware that the practices to be a better 'servant' of God is prevelant in Islam. The ritual of prayers helps to discipline this servanthood of God.
    We all are striving to please God. Since I speak English, I have a sense of God rather than Allah, in Arabic, as some foreign entity. Please, those who are Arabic in natural language, continue to use Allah for God. My native tongue is God for God.
    I have had experiences that have opened my eyes to Islam, and it is very difficult to 'change' into another person that I am...to please the Arabic speaking people who have been 'born' already in this natural tongue.
    May God bless all who rever him. Alhamdulillah.....Praise be to God.
    Sallam...Peace

    Asalmualikum,
    Thank you for postiing this.

    This was a very 'realistic' post to read and identify with. Thank you for having this article in this web site.
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  3. MubarekMuslimah
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    Assalaamu alaikum

    This is an excellent letter and I can relate to some of it - especially the mosque scenario. I don't go to the mosque as much as I should since I feel isolated sometimes when I am there - alot of the ladies don't speak English and/or make no move to chat to me other than say hello. I don't think this is their fault so much as they don't do it on purpose, I think that they all know each other and meet up and catch up and chat in their mother tongue and just aren't aware of any sister who is on her own around them. Some ladies have been very very nice - others jst stare at me which can be a bit weird!

    Once when I went with my friend before my shahadah they all looked at me and chatted to her in Arabic as if I wasn't there - telling her how much reward she would get for helping me insha'allah. I understand this but it was a bit odd to be 'studied' quite so much and talked about, yet not talked to!

    Again I don't think people mean bad they just don't realise that when you only speak English and don't know anyone it can be really isolating especially when you are new to Islam and nervous.

    I also agree with the letter-writer with regards to retaining your original identity as long as it is Islamic. It is hard enough trying to explain to parents and upsetting for them without suddenly dressing in Shalwar Kameze (for instance) - it is possible to adhere to the Islamic dress code and still wear 'western' clothes which I try to do sort of, but I guess my clothing does have some 'Eastern' influences more now since so many western clothes don't adhere to islamic dress code - too tight, too short, pictures on them, etc.

    It is helpful to non-muslims though, to start to understand that there are non-muslims out there - I have had people slag Islam off right in front of me supposing that I am christian or aetheist - Islam is for all mankind and it brightens me eveyr time I see a new revert alhamdulillah that our Ummah becomes more and more colourful.

    With regards to names though, I added to my name an Islamic name rather than replaced my name as I wanted to mark the new phas in my life and identity - and I go by both my Islamic name and my original name which are vrey similar in meaning. I haven't chnaged my paperwork much - some of it but most stuff doesn't quote your middle name anyway. It can be amusing though when people hear an English name and then when you meet and tell them you're Muslim their jaw drops! lol! I told one lady at work when I started new job in my 1st week and when I came back from holiday 2 weeks lateer the entire department knew! Obviously I was hot gossip! In a way it helped so I didn't have to tell 40 odd people she saved me a job and when I was fasting a lot of people asked how I was getting on which was nice and told me how they admired me cos they couldn't get to 11 am without their coffee.

    Alhamdulillah I am so happy I am revert and it was never gonna be easy but I am so proud to be part of a new wave of Muslims in this country and helping to open up people's eyes that Islam is for everyone and not just Asians as so many people think.

    When I go out with 2 sisters I know, one of them likes telling the waitiress in the coffee shop/restaurant that we are all sisters since we all look so different in race- they never know to believe us its so funny, but then she explains - she calls us the United Colours of Benetton - its a good conversation opener to Islam

    May Allah swt hold us steadfast to the rope of Unity, Ameen.

    Salaams

    Layla
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  4. Mabsoot
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    Mabsoot Amir Staff Member

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    :salam2:

    yes, it is a wonderful article MashaAllah. thanks for posting it Adil.
    Also some great replies which i enjoyed reading, jazakallahu khayr.

    Wasalam.
  5. alimirza
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    Thank you for the great insight...

    Thank you very much for the great insight, your letter is very helpful for the newly revert brother and sisters as well as the Muslims born in the faith "which ofcourse does'nt make them any better or worse", Allah is the ultimate judge of one's piety. Although, one can imagine the hardship the new reverts face, I never thought of revert muslim's feeling of isolation, lack of interaction, and help from other muslim brother and sisters. Next time If I came around a revert Muslim I will defenetly do my best to make them feel welcome and befriend them.

    As you have mentioned lack of information available, or the veriety of openionated information, contradictions, political agendas, interpertations etc. are valid concerns for all Muslims, as I am doing some research in women's rights in Islam, and rejection of violence against women. I found a lot of information contradictory to the teachings of Quran and Sunnah, and interpertations backed by some of the verses of Quran, depending on the four major schools of thoughts, as well as contemporary schools of thoughts namely modernists, and fundamatalists views. Finding authentic information online indeed is a challenge.

    As far as lots of Muslims not offering explainatins and help, perhaps they might feel the way I do. I feel that I am not capable of giving correct information backed by citations from Quran and Sunnah and the correct (perception/view) interpertations. I may only be able to answer simple questions, for everything else its best if I "say" I do not know or I am not the right person to answer these question.

    I admire your faith in Allah, and your quest for knowledge. By reading your letter, I feel that the knowledge of Islam you have aquired, puts you much ahead of me. Muslims like your are Allah's blessings on us all to revive and revitalize our faith, and to give us the motivation to do better.

    Thank you, and may Allah reward you in this world and the next.
  6. adilsar
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    As Salam Alaikum, Brother,

    I think your letter makes a lot of sense. May Allah SWT Guide you and show you the way always.

    I do believe, Dawah is not just about presenting Islam to Non-Muslims but also putting in place a support mechanism for reverts when they enter the religion.

    Jazak Allahu Khairan

    Syed Adil, Bangalore, India
  7. Karachi_prince
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    Karachi_prince New Member

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    its ashame to see that new reverts are having difficult experiences with born muslims.
  8. mansooranwar
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    Social Skills or else

    :salam2:

    Very important issues, my humble opinion is that although there are lots of muslims out there many are casual muslim we take and practice what we can today and we are in a state that its more then satisfactory to us, while the whole purpose of us muslims was to spread the din (religion) in such a way that welcomes and clarify the Quran and Sunnah from our life to the others.

    Having said all that we need to correct our self and come to the true Din otherwise we be learning and our new revart brothers and sisters will be like now reminding us our Din and teaching which we have forgotten.
    :jazaak:
  9. brighten
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    brighten seeker of knowledge

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    :salam2:

    This letter helps to open a new horizon for me in understanding the dilemma faced by my new revert bros and sisters. May Allah continue to guide us on the straight path.

    :jazaak: for posting it brother andalusian.

    wassalam
  10. Basicofislam
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    Basicofislam sister

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    I feel bad that this is what the new muslims think of us. I remember i was at the masjid during taraweeh and there was this lady sitting next to me. I knew she was a new muslim. I wanted to say salam and talk to her but just the serious look on her face made me a little shy to talk. So it is not that people dont wanna talk but sometimes they just dont know how to start. But maybe next time i will talk and see how the other person reacts.Well as far as the Islamic knowledge is concerned. I feel a person should not ask from any and everybody. One has to learn from books, cds. And if possible islamic scholars. If you feel oh why the muslims dont help well i would say the big reason why is a lot of them themselves dont know that much that they can teach. Teaching itself is an art. a student will ask why this why that. And not everybody can answer that. So the best way to learn is to READ. Read the Quran, hadiths, and books written by scholars.
  11. Mahmoud1
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  12. shauntay
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    Assalam alikum,
    Thank you for sharing your experience. I too am a convert, one year now, alhamdullah, but I was struggling with some of the same problems you have described. It can be very lonely being a convert but I have realized that perhaps my brothers and sisters of Islam are just not aware of the difficulties some converts experience. It is like living in neither world. Non muslim's (friends/family) refusing to accept one as muslim and muslim's not quite sure what to do with us. loool. But, anyways, I am grateful to have read your words. It helps to know, I am not alone in my experience. Thank you.
    salam
    shauntay
  13. UM ABDULLAH
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    UM ABDULLAH New Member

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    salamalikum,
    you are right , many times i have seen ladies who have converted to islam in mosque and i realy wanted to talk or befriends with them but often felt shy to do so ,but your letter guided us aboout how the convert feels and inshallah in future we definitely will give them company and invite them to our homes often . may Allah always proptect you from evil, and give you good companions ,ameen
  14. nitewolf
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    nitewolf New Member

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    Salaam,

    Indeed it is a "miracle" at the increasing number of new converts, especially after the efforts of many to further isolate muslims and mispresent God's perfect religion.

    Some of us are blessed with education while most of the muslim population in the world are poor and uneducated. But i personally believe that is a root of cause of why the world is still peaceful; with a billion honest-living, tolerant people integrated in humanity at every corner of the globe. hundreds and thousands of muslims are killed. How much more tolerant can a religion be? Look at what some do for just two of their soldiers? absolutely barbaric.

    It is easy to see how Islam changes a village of poor people, calm and peace with security.

    God view us through our taqwa to Him and that has no affilitaion with whether one is a born muslim or was a convert. I met an individual who refer to himself as a muslim but do not know how to do his daily prayers. Nothing has shocked me more. Their parents never taught them and he had no idea what i was talking about when i asked him where he's going for Friday's prayers.

    It is still frequent to find many individuals who are muslim just by name. But they sort of live their social life of what is taught by Islam. They do not drink alcohol, utmost respect for their parents, etc. They fast and pray for Eid, but occasional daily prayers, or none. Their level of taqwa is not satisfactory. And this i think is mainly because they are less fortunate and on not receiveing optimal religious knowledge. They can't afford to wander out of their village. And this a responsibility and burden to all other muslims to reach out to the poor less knowledgeable and guide them, whoever they are.

    Ths issue of having a Muslim name is of course irrelevant to God but it has its effects on the general public. For some, by having a muslim name it links you to the religion superficially. There was a story of once a chinese convert who didn't change his name (and his religion officially - maybe he thought it was just documentative). When he died, his taoist parents claimed his body and wanted to burn him. They insisted he was still a taoist while his muslim friends are struggling to get him buried in a muslim cemetery. The goverment had to make a decision and since by law there was nothing to identify him as a muslim (either name or religion declaration), the parents won the claim of his body and did their ritual. May God bless his soul.

    But it is still up to the individual. If i were a convert, i would change my name. Because people will know i'm a muslim just by reading or hearing my name, instead of needing to ask or check with me (socially). You know, it's the little things in life, and this might have an impact when you're "physically" different from the majority where people might overlook the real fact.

    As the say, Heaven is placed on the sole your your mother's foot. And they didn't qoute that with "muslim mother". And the sunnah you qouted instills yet again how much we owe our parents, no matter of their religion, state of sanity or attitude. You embracing Islam should not cause to distance from your parents. They might disapprove, but we have to make sure that we always have the open hand towards them till they die. Blood is thicker than water and time will make they realise that you are still their son they once loved. A convert's struggle to maintain a perfect relationship with their non-muslim parents is arguably the highest levels of jihads that one is required of. There is no one more emotionally capable to attend to them if not for their for their own children. That is the essence of humanity. No one child deserve paradise if not with the blessings of their own parents. And parents' greatest treasure from this world are their righteous children who are "salehin". For God is all forgiving and merciful. Pray for God's forgiveness to our parents, for their safety and to lead them in the right path. Insya'Allah. Do your part and God will reward us accordingly.

    I am born a muslim but did not go to a islamic school. Now that i'm finishing my undergraduate studies in engineering, i'm going to catch up and concentrate more on Islam, God willing.

    Converts are usually more enthusiatic and determined to seek knowledge and generally they know more that most of muslims. They do it because they yearn for it and not because of social influence. But beware of where you seek that knowledge though. My parents always told me that we must learn from a book guided by a islamic teacher and not on our own. Syaitan will cloud our mind. That's is how extremism is born. They suit what they read to their agenda and not by reason with proper guidance. Read more on recommended books rather than relying on the internet. There are a lot in life that you can do on a personal level, like learning arabic, perfecting your prayers (spiritually), dzikir, reciting and memorizing the Qur'an, and be a great neighbour. I don't have a lot of close muslims friends, but i am more family-orientated. I also hang out with non-muslim friends but i'll just restraint on what is forbidden to me. We must not forget that our actions and contribution to this world also counts as an "ibadah". And that by socializing with the majority will show the rest on how beautiful our religion is, how it changes us and most importantly they do not view that muslims have to be in isolation from the society to practice our religion.

    I hope i had not offended anyone by what i had wrote.

    Wa'salaam
  15. Sulikha
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    Sulikha Tawakal-Allal-Allah

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    :salam2:

    It is sad to hear that muslims are distant from each other and can't communicate well,:astag: . I have same matter sometimes Alhamdullilah I am born muslim, what I mean is that my sisters who speak arabic sometimes think I speak arabic [ for my Hijab]but when they come to know that, there is not much communication other than :salam2: becouse they don't speak english [most of them that I know] I don't speak arabic what else to say hmm :wasalam: . Again it all comes to laguage barrier. We are all one in Islam Brothers and Sisters.

    :wasalam:
  16. sumeye86
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    sumeye86 New Member

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    Selam Alaikum

    Thank u for writing this letter..I think this has been the best thing ive ever read other than Quran(which im still reading). Im also a new convert..7 months soo far..Its been hard for me since im having a difficult time telling my parents...Insh Allah ,God will accept my prayer...

    Im trying to learn Arabic..but then even English is not my native language soo its really hecktick sometimes... since there's absolutely no source in my own language..Im trying to learn Arabic and understand it in English...it feels like giving up once in while...but Elhamdullah im still striving to become a better Muslim..

    Again thank u for the letter...May God bless our sisters and brothers.Ameen
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  17. hussainv1
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    hussainv1 New Member

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    assalamualaikum warah matullah hi wabarakatahu
    indeed a very good post..this shows the difficulty faced by new converts within and outside the community..born muslims should learn how to accept fellow muslim converts and give them a sense of belonging to the community.
    MAY ALLAH BLESS ALL MUSLIMS.

    by
    hussain ahmed
    bangalore,india
  18. kayagila
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    kayagila New Member

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    Assalaam alaikum may i just say one thing i'm not really gualified but about calling god Allah, it's sort of comporsery becaouse you can say Gods or Goddes that really does not refer to Allah the only One even with a capital G it just doe'nt suit him please try To say Allah Remember he choose arabic as our language ans Islam as our Deen we will speak it as soon as we die it's best to learn it in this world it's much easier when you are asked who is your Lord in the grave you can reply ALLAH!!!
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  19. revertmuslimah
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    revertmuslimah Junior Member

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    Asalaamu alaikum brother,
    I am also a revert alhumdulillah. I am very lucky though my experience to yours has been very different being a woman. I have 3 muslim sisters who are so supportive and friendly and also a few muslim brothers. I said my shahadah in front of them at the mosque in front of the imam at the local mosque. It is very hard sometimes as we were not born into Islam but chose to embrace it therefore we do not have the background or the baggage of culture to help or hinder us. My sisters and I were nearly in tears during my shahadah and I know it was as special day to them as it is to me. I think the best way to learn and practice Islam is to read the Qu'ran, Hadith and follow Sunnah all muslims should support each other in the quest to please Allah (subhana wa ta'ala). Also this is a wonderful piece of advice i was given my one of my sisters who is also a revert 'if you do not know if what you are doing is wrong remember the intention is' Allah is forgiving if we make mistakes and will mercy on us. As long as the intention is good and pure we are still being good muslims. There are many fears and hardship in enbracing Islam especially in todays world. What I do is ask Allah from my heart to grant mt the strength and patience to overcome any obstacles Allah doesn't give us more than we can cope with. I think maybe it would be a good idea for Reverts to set up their own forum perhaps especially as it would benefit us. Sometimes I worry that I am not doing things properly and I always worry that I will look stupid if I ask but if I dont how will I know! I agree that you sometimes have to be wary that people are unintentionally misleading you so its best to research yourself as well just to be sure. I'd better stop because i'm waffling.

    may Allah have mercy on us all and grant us strength and patience to be better muslims inshallah.

    Wa alaikum asalaam
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  20. sugarbb
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    sugarbb Junior Member

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    i feel for you brother but this is a wake up call to all muslims (incldg myself first) to play our part to help new reverts. There is no excuse to be ignorant. May Allah guide us all in the future. InsyaAllah.

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