Warning! Revert/Convert or you want to Revert/Convert:A letter for you from a Convert

Discussion in 'New Muslims' started by Andalusian, Aug 6, 2006.

  1. Wulf
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    Wulf Junior Member

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    Asalaam Alaykum

    A most interesting read. From converastions that have had with a few revert Muslims, this set of circumstances is not uncommon. I myself have had offers of help that do not come to fruition.

    I get the feeling at times, that to some people, Culture comes first, language second, the Qur'an third and to be perfectly honest it can be quite disheartening. It hasn't been that people cannot speak or understand English, they can.
    I do not condemn, that is not my way. I just smile and take my leave.

    To date, I have not visited a Mosque for prayer. I fear being on the inside while being left on the outside.

    W'Asalaam

    Ibrahim
  2. sirine
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    sirine New Member

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    salam worf,

    I agree totally with what you said. Many people unfortunately think that a culture, a religion or a language are proper to one individual. But hamdoulillah, everybody can learn arabic and embrace islam. It s not something impossible to reach, we only need faith in our heart and everything will be ok inchaallah.

    Yesterday a convert told me that he hated to be called convert, that even born muslim can convert because they were also blind and didnt know about islam till a day when they realise the beauty of their religion. And in fact, i realized that he was so right. Many converts know much more than born muslims machaallah.

    May Allah guide us.
  3. Haji2005
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    Haji2005 New Member

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    Dear Andalusian

    Thank you for sharing your experience. I feel your pain and I hope your stay here has given you some support.

    I agree that most mosques in the USA, lack the induction "new comers" training that is essentially required for new converts to learn, understand, and adapt to their new way of life "Islam". Thus, most struggle similar to your struggle.

    I hope if any of the mosque leaders ready your post here will consider your suggestions and start the implmentation promptly. One of the areas that can also be considered is developing a entrusted mentoring or buddy system for new converts.

    Most of the converts I have met in the USa are of exceptional character, education, and manners. I hope and wish that these new converts will become the leaders of their respective communities as the continue to learn.

    :salam2: :)
  4. Rabdatolah
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    Rabdatolah New Member

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    Salam Alaykum, i was really touch by your letter and i just wanted to tell you that i wish i could do something for you to help i myself need more knowledge about islam but like you mentioned that "one's beliefs about god are what truly matters".I was born in a muslim family i'am married and i have 2 beautifull kids Alhamdoulilah.I would like to know more about you and i would love to help you let me know what i can do.May Allah bless you and keep you strong!!Assalamo Alaykum wa rahmatolah wa barakatu.IN ALLAH WE SHALL RETURN!
  5. jabba
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    jabba Salafi Dawah is the best

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    Deleted, because i can't say how I feel, I have to act like a robot around everyone, just to be liked. my feedback, like me won't be missed anyways
  6. DOC_BRO
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    DOC_BRO Junior Member

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    Asalam o Alaikum,
    I really feel so embarrased that we being muslims are so much so called muslims just namesake.
    One question i wanna ask our convert brothers/sisters that sometimes i feel afraid to ask a brother if he is a new muslim or a revert because I think he might be offended or think that since i am a born muslim i think i m better or else.... so i just keep away from that question unless i am told by that person himself. So can someone(specially new muslim) pls tell me how would it be appropiate to approach a convert//new muslim??? coz this might give me a better idea n help me a what u might personaly think or would expect to be asked.Would it be appropiate to invite him home???I am sorry but i need to learn that so in future its easy for us.
    But yes this article is another eye opener for us...
    JazakAllaho Khairum
  7. aaminah
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    aaminah Junior Member

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    The convert experience is basically one of isolation and loneliness.

    thank you for posting this, very well said. i almost don't want to post anything here anymore after being misinterpreted and received hurtful private msgs. im adopting and still need to learn more to be better muslim, born muslims are lucky for they were guided by muslim parents, family and muslim community on what Allah wants us to be like. Unlike most converts who needs to search and search to learn more. I notice though that when you don's miss prayers(salah), do it at right time, add 2 raka'a... Allah swt will guide you more and show signs to correct your mistakes MashaAllah.
  8. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Salaam,

    Although I am a born Muslim my ways are very American. i encounter the wall as I call it. At my masjid, they do not know me. I do my thing. I attend a class; I clean up the kitchen, the brothers are very rude to me. The sisters are cold.
    I am a Pakistani by parents, Irani by birth, English by accent, and American by way of life..and a Muslim by choice...
    I encounter the wall. I encounter the silent treatment. It is sick. It is sick.
    I go to the masjid for the love of Allah. I go to the masjid for the fear of Allah...I have two sisters who are my friends: one is afro-american and the other is anglo-american...and they get the same cold shoulder...so we sit together...
    Doc Brother tell you wife to tell her friends to welcome reverts/converts and in my case a bornone. Include us in your conversations, invite us to your homes...show us the manners that are from the core of Islam. Talk to us.
  9. nyerekareem
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    nyerekareem abdur-rahman

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    :salam2:

    i have no muslim friends. i know a few muslims, but unfortunately they are only muslim in name. i pray that Allah SWT guide them. i get people to say salaam or shake hands but no one has ever tried to befriend me. so i am a very lonely person, especially since my family aren't muslims. they have no problem with islam at all, but they aren't ready to decide their faith. it's been a rough path.

    :wasalam:
  10. DOC_BRO
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    Asalam o Alaikum
    Sister thats really sad to hear. So see i really wanna learn the etiquettes of my behaviour approach so sister mirajmom why dont u or brother mabsoot start a thread abt how to greet or interact with a new muslim. Frankly speaking mostly i have real hesistation as to how the other person might take it because in US its kind of odd to ask personal question or u might integrate ones privacy kind of thing hope u understand wht i mean??? i am not making an excuse but i dont wanna starting with wrong question or notes when the other muslim brother might be expcting to hear something which makes him more comfortable and i end up asking something stupid.
    So I think there should be a thread with some simple example based on out new muslim brothers and sister as to what they might have expected or would have liked to be asked. I knw that every person has a diffrent mind but by discussing we can make a general approach and that might be helpful to of us and by that we can make sure no new muslim feels stranded alone infacts feels the brotherhood.
    I do salam now a days to whomever i think or feel like he's a muslim in the street or mall I did meet this african american brother whom i met last wk when i was in Newark,NJ he had a small beard and as always i always look for some muslims sometimes i count them also :) funny but i am very emotional with brotherhood thing so I knew for sure in my heart tht he is a muslim i said salam o alaikum, its a big Gateway center like middle of all the fastfood and buisness ppl walking around and he replied loudly walaikum asalam and u knw how their voices are like very loud and he asked me how did u figure out i was a muslim i said 'a brother knws a brother very well' and he laughed loudly.. we had a chat.From the look itself seemed he was a staunch muslim Alhumdolilah I felt very happy after tht moment i felt i did something good today. So tht is wht we want our brothers n sisters to feel the bond.
    And let me tell our reverted/brother n sisters i personally feel most of the new muslims have a wider knwledge n better understanding of Islam compared to the born muslims n We really do respect them for their deep faith as its a eye opener for us born muslims with such reaction 'ohh where was i all these yrs???when a new muslim learned so much in such less time... i guess i could have learned something too!!!...'
    JazakAllah ho khair
    Ma'Salam
  11. melissa123
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    melissa123 Not Junior Anymore!!

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    Thanks for the post, it was a good reminder :)
  12. Ahmed Najash
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    Ahmed Najash Junior Member

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    WOW! I never realized.
  13. Wulf
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    Wulf Junior Member

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    A'salaamu 'aleikom

    Well, here I am five months later and some things have changed, not many, just some.
    I attend a large masjid quite often. Jummah is so crowded that a downstairs room is also used. To most, I am but a face in the crowd, which is ok by me. The salaams tend to be perfunctory in nature, lacking any real affection. With the exception of one or two people, the sound of my voice tends to make many veer away from me, as if i have contracted some contagion that may be passed on. But thats ok.

    The light comes from another masjid. It is a long way from where I live, but I go there every Sunday to hear lectures and to study. This place actively practices Darwah, reaching out to the wider community, making "New Muslims" feel accepted and welcome. There are dinners for reverts to meet and discuss where they are in their lives. The salaams are full of warmth, the smiles are genuine, and help with questions is readily available.

    I ask myself, "Why is this so?" Then I look again, and realise that the Masjid is small, the people are young, not set in their ways with predjudices about non Arab speaking or Indian Muslims. When someone says, "How are you?" It is a genuine question, and they really want to know, not just an obligatory enquiry, as demanded by good manners.
    For some reason thay are mindful that I travel 50 kilometres to be there for Asr and Magrib. Yet for me it is no great thing, just something I do. Although with the traffic, I would probably feel safer walking through Bagdad with an American Flag.
    Most of all, they do not treat me as if I am someone special just because I am new Muslim. They treat me special just because I am a Muslim, no different to anyone else there.
    I do not seek recognition for choosing the path I have taken. It is enough that Allah (subhanna wa ta'ala) recognises me, when the sun shines no more, and I stand before him to be judged for my deeds, intentional or not.
    After these five months, I look and see that, albeit that I had to teach myself many things about Islam, including how to pray, patience and prayer has led me to further knowledge. Even though I mostly face life alone, I know that I am not totaly alone, I just pray, and talk to Allah (subhanna wa ta'ala), and I am healed.

    So how does one aproach a New Muslim? The same as you aproach any Muslim. The new muslim is more nervous than you are. They see you, and think, How do I talk to that person? What shall I say? It is like meeting your spouse for the very first time.
    For some, the tension becomes so great, they simply change their minds. They feel it is easier being what they were, rather than face the rejection from what they had tried to become.

    So if you are, like myself, a new Muslim, be patient and sooner or later things will work out. If it is possible visit other masjid, if not then Allah (Subhanna wa ta'ala) will lead you, if you would just but ask Him.

    One other thing, If there are those who would critisize your lack of knowledge, without guidance, just turn you back. Their boasting to show off so called superior knowledge, is like the sound of an empty bucket, full of air.
    If one offers gentle critisism, but guides you to the right path? Listen, and know that Allah (subhanna wa ta'ala) is with you.

    W'salaam
    Ibrahim
  14. OmarTheFrench
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    OmarTheFrench Junior Member

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    Here in France we have some luck.

    We have a community(young peoples) who are helpful with us(new revert).

    Because even if they are born in a Muslim family, they didn't practicing, so when they turn seriously to Islam, they understand your difficulties of new revert, and help us.
  15. NurJannah
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    :salam2:

    This is a well articulated article I really agree with points made though, I would like to say something in addition to what you said brother. I am a born muslim but was not practicing till few years back and I new nothing about faith except Shahada, prayer. fasting, zakah and Hajj. I did not know how a muslim is suppose to behave. I did not know brotherhood and sisterhood I did not know anything. I was arrogent, a showoff, sarcastic to others and big time judgmental. I had all these things because I did not know how I am suppose to behave. Even when I was praying I had no Idea that praying only is not enough. After years of learning I am getting to know how to behave and still I have lot to change in my self. I am still not the best muslim I want to be.
    The reason I am sharing this is that there are lot of people like me who simply do not know true meaning of being a muslim. Some of them are muslim by name only they do not have any knowledge of being anything other then that.
    Some of them actually believe that shahada alone is enough for a passport to Jannah. I mean there are many people who really are Ignorant of their responsiblities. I am not making excuses for such people.
    The other thing is that immigrents generally are not as open minded as European or Americans are, they generally keep to themselves but that does not always mean that all of them are biased against coverts.
    Definetly We have to be better educated about our deen.
    MaAssalam
  16. dianek
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    dianek Junior Member

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    "The other thing is that immigrents generally are not as open minded as European or Americans are,"

    Then maybe they should not immigrate to those Europe or America. If you aren't open minded, then you don't belong there.......my husband complains about America all the time, and I have to remind it was his choice to come here. If he doesn't like my country, then get on a plane and go back home, but don't sit here and bad mouth it. I am not muslim but I have told my husband on multiple times that if Muslims wanted to show how open they are in searching for bringing people to islam, then they should get out of their box and comfort zone to reach out to others. They don't around here. They just "keep it in the family" so to speak. I think Outreach programs to NON-MUSLIMS would be a great opportunity for them and the non-muslim community. All my husband says is there isn't a large muslim community here.....I rest my case!
  17. AZAM_SIDDIQUI
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    AZAM_SIDDIQUI Junior Member

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    I'm the same person with the same name, wearing the same western style of clothing (though now respecting the modest dress code of Islam) and eating the same style of food (though now making sure that my meat is halal). I have not rejected my country, its culture or tradition. I simply now hold different theological beliefs.
    TAKE CRE BROTHERS AND SISTERS JUST AS YOU CHECK HE MEAT IS HALAAL CHECK FOR WHICH TRADITIONS ,CULTURE AND IDEOLOGIES ARE UNISLAMIC.
    Eg america's imperialism
    india's traditions
    chinas ideology. then halloween, and ll such stuff .
    as for ur thinking about being unwelcome thats not true what puts off many born muslims{if there is any such thing we all have to strive dont we?] is the coldness or lack of confidence on the part of new onverts.a second reason is mny are ashamed for not practicing their islam properly .whatever the reason they are ur brothers and sisters in islam and all have right over each other .and he most honorable in the sight of Allah is the most pious.i m born muslim but when i strted becoming a true muslim i faceD These problems.its a test from ALLAH,both for you and other born muslims.tht apart GOD is a common noun and ALLaH is the proper name of God .of course you can use any of his beautful names.
    lastly arabic is the lnguage of Quran so if we learn it better for us ..t the end of the day it is upto us how much we follow. Allahhafiz.
    so just take care .
  18. AZAM_SIDDIQUI
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    AZAM_SIDDIQUI Junior Member

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    let the new coverts be the muhajireen and the born muslim be helpers and LETS PREVENT EACH OTHER FOR COMPROMISING OUR DEEN BECUSE ALLAH IS KEEPING ACCOUNT OF OUR DEEDS.WALLHHOAALAM.
  19. AZAM_SIDDIQUI
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    AZAM_SIDDIQUI Junior Member

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    Originally Posted by Karima
    Alhamdulillah
    Very well said! You were strong to hold fast to the facts.
    I am sorry you have come across some 'distant' muslims in your encounters. Keep in mind that each of us are in different planes of being children of God. It is as a result of your discernments that you can assess the variety and tempermants of muslims.
    Thank you, thank you, thank you, for your letter of what the reverts are faced with.
    Not only that, but I have to thank God for my ears to hear beautiful music. And I stress, not haram words, haram meanings, haram anything....but gorgeous orchestrations of music!Do I do this in order to fulfill the life of Islam? To do away with music that has been my life? (I know about Cat Stevens.....my music has always been towards God.....unlike the secular concerts that Cat gave"

    hello cHILDREN OF GOD ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
    lets check what we are posting?
  20. Hellen
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    Hellen New Member

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    And I thought it was only me!!! infact one of the first things that was said to me was "Whats your new name then"...to which I responded "Im Helen always have been always will be"...Its been entirely a solitary experience and the information above is read and received with thanks...Its strange because Im fine with all other cultures, at my mosque its all asians ...everythings done in URDU so I understand nothing and Im left feeling alienated and excluded because Im British and white ???? then they proceed to tell me that they feel alienated within the community we live in ...kinda makes me wonder why they are so surprised....
    All the information I

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