what i done or what should i do ?.....

Discussion in 'Islamic Discussion' started by Hajjerr, Oct 13, 2011.

  1. Hajjerr
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    Hajjerr He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram

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    Salam aleikum, first i want to say that this days or weeks this site is my home and a bandage for my soul....please help and advices , how can i cope with the fact that with 20 days before my marryage and moving from europe, i am not alowed to do this anymore , everything is up-side down because ...because people were i was supposed to go decided that i am not good enough , me beeing a reverted muslim, with place of birth in non-islamic country and with christians parents ...and they beeing in muslim country, born-muslims. Me and my future housband were very happy, and wanted start a good famelly, but we cant , it is to hard and between chossing his famelly and me, ofcourse he chooses them. I understand them but i wish i could receive some understanding also and a chance to prove that even the ones that are not raised in muslim famely can love islam so so soo much. Yes i pray and this is the only thing that feels my life, yes i know that only in rememberance of Allah hearts find rest, yes i know that no evil or no good can avail you except if Allah swt wants, yes i know that the patience ones will be rewarded, yes i know that maybe i just met this person to show me the right way, like he is a loan from Allah and Allah knows best, yes i know this life is short and only after the Last Day we will start our true life, yes i know i am the most loved person because i am muslim and i love to be hamdullilah and yes i belive that with hardship will come ease.....but stille hurts, hurts me when i breath, and if some time ago i took each month or year at the time, now i take each minut , each second at the time, i feel like if i do one little wrong move i will break into millions of pieces I wish that anyone who feels he is lost should know that to read and to pray it really helps...and stille i think it is not fair...it is not fair that other people decide my life, my word to weight almost nothing compared to theirs, when they dont even know me...inchallah , may Allah helps us all :tti_sister:
  2. IbnAdam77
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    IbnAdam77 Travelling towards my grave.

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    Assalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh dear respected sister

    First of all, what I wanna do is to congratulate you on reverting to the true way of life. Secondly, I wanna remind you about something truly needs to be pondered over. It is a Hadith of our beloved Prophet (pbuh).

    "When Allah created paradise and hell, he sent Jibreel (Gabriel) to paradise, saying: 'Go and look at it and the things I have prepared therein for its inhabitants.' So he went and looked at it and at what Allah had prepared therein for its inhabitants. He then came back and said: 'By your glory, whosoever will hear of it will long to enter it.' So he ordered that it be surrounded by forms of hardship, and said to Jibreel: 'Go back and look at what I have prepared therein for its inhabitants.' So he went back and found that it was surrounded by forms of hardship. Then he came back and said: 'By your glory, I fear that no-one will enter it.'

    Then he sent him to the fire of hell saying, 'Go and look at it and what I have prepared therein for its inhabitants.' So he looked at it and saw that it was in layers, one above the other. Then he came back and said: 'By your glory, whoever hears of it will never try to enter it.' So he ordered that it be surrounded by passions and desires, and said: 'Go and see what I have prepared therein for its inhabitants.' So he went and looked at it, then came back and said, 'by your glory, I fear that no-one will escape from entering it.'"
    (Muslim, Abu Daawood and Imaam Ahmad)

    That is our goal inshaAllah! That is the eternal bliss, if we are among those who will enter it. Always remember my dear sister, will Allah select someone who lives life as whatever the way they like, to enter it?

    Prophets of Allah were the people who is tested with most difficult tests, because Allah loves them. We must be sure that when Allah tests somebody with hard tests, it is because Allah wants to reward him/her by testing his/her patience.

    That is why the Prophet (pbuh) said that the situation of the believer is Amazing. Because whenever he face something good, he thank Allah, and whenever he face something hard, he be patient. :)

    My advice:

    Read quran everyday, and keep asking Allah to grant you what is the best. Have utmost trust in Him and try your best. InshaAllah you will find peace in your heart.

    Accompany yourself in a good company, and whenever you feel alone, remember that Allah is with you. Go to Him after making Wudu, and pray 2 Rak'ahs. Legthen your Sujood, and beg your Lord, with humbleness. It is reported from the Prophet (pbuh) that there will be 7 types of people who will be under the shade of Allah's throne on the day when there will not be any shade except that (i.e; Qiyaamah). One of the people are those from whose eyes tears flown when they remember Allah alone when nobody sees them.

    Make Allah to be your best friend. Return to Him often. Ask him to grant you a pious husband and pious children. Make this Du'a very often.

    InshaAllah you will do fine with Allah's mercy.

    Have patience my dear sister.

    Wassalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
  3. Hajjerr
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    Hajjerr He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram

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    :salam2: Thank you so much for very helpfull hadith, i knew it and indeed makes one reflect. I do folow what you adviced and i only hope that ..inchallah i dont anger our Creator and the One that is most Just and Mercifull.....i dont have around me sisters or brothers muslim, absolutelly noone, i live only with my little syster and my life is very simple but alhamdullilah i do have them online, like here in this beautifull islamic atmosphere and i try to make my 24/7 friend Holy Quran...i try to look at those who have less then me and not at those who have more then me in this life, and i advice everyone to do this...inchallah what is meant to be will happen sooner and/or later :shymuslima1: That is why the Prophet (pbuh) said that the situation of the believer is Amazing. Because whenever he face something good, he thank Allah, and whenever he face something hard, he be patient.
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    arzafar Junior Member

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    :salam2:

    I feel sorry for your situation. but please consider that it is better that they refused before the actual contract took place. This helped you avoid further complications. you can always find another husband. since you are a revert maybe you should search for a husband who is also a revert. you can contact your local mosque.
  5. IbnAdam77
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    IbnAdam77 Travelling towards my grave.

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    Assalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

    My dear brother, I am sorry because I have to respectfully disagree with the above statement. Because in the sight of Allah, there is no difference among us except in Taqwa (Piety).

    If I mention my personal view, I always have a special respect and love towards my revert brothers and sisters. Yes even for marriage.

    Wassalam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
  6. esperanza
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    esperanza revert of many years

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    asalamalaykum ..dear sister..im so sorry for what is happening to you
    happy that you have become muslim ..but sad that your marriage could not happen.this is one of the trials of life..may Allah give you strength to face it,,,its hard that your husband to be eventually chose his family over you ,but family has immensely strong effect on most muslims..

    i am a revert and imarried a muslim and went to his country joined his family..hamdilla...but its not easy there are always struggles along the way

    but do not think please that a revert should only marry a revert..there have been many discussions about this lately,but as the brother told you ,in the end the most important factor is piety and any true muslim will search for this first


    dear sister my heart goes out for you and if there is anything i could do i would..may allah make life easier...

    i presume your still young and will have many chances in the future and we dont know sometimes something is taken from us beacuse something better will come to us

    which country are you from ,can iask ??
  7. Hajjerr
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    Hajjerr He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram

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    :salam2: thank you for advice , i really appreciate and i also have to say my situation it is not closed, i think is more ...posponed (and Allah swt knows best) and i hope inchallah that if they are good muslim will not judge without proofs, we are all tested, we are only people in the end... about my local mosque, one of them, i went once shortly after i converted or reverted or how you want to say (i think i whould say more realising who i really am, not just playng a role like in a movie just for the sake to be like people that were around me ) and at that little mosque i finded the imam prayng and with one single man next him :) noone alse , i was surprised, i am from bucharest, romania :SMILY259:... i whould love to live in a muslim comunity and inchallah i will...anyway gaved me some advices and a translation of Quran, may Allah reward him. :hearts:
  8. esperanza
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    esperanza revert of many years

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    inshallah sister,things will get better, and they will realsie that you would make a great wife for their son,,,,only Allah knows our destiny
    hamdilla you found the right path and may allah make life easier for you
    and here you have found a muslim ommunity who will try to help you and advise you
    welome sister:hijabi:
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    reply

    Dear you need to give yourself rest and then choose what you want or what you don't want then compare that with what is necessary. then you will find the answer.
  10. Hajjerr
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    Hajjerr He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram

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    yes, i hope i have choosed good, thank you for the kind words, i let Allah swt to dispose my affairs properly inchallah, i do hope i can be a member of this warm comunity and help each other to be better humans, my prayers are for all :shake::hearts: 57:28
    O you who have believed, fear Allah and believe in His Messenger; He will [then] give you a double portion of His mercy and make for you a light by which you will walk and forgive you; and Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.
    65:3
    And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.
  11. Mabsoot
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    Wa alaykum salam

    Over the years I have to help a lot of reverts with various problems. I would not suggest a sister marrying someone from outside Europe. Unfortunately, there are a lot of problems that can happen.

    You are probably better off not marrying into such a family, that is cultural and do not see you as an equal.
  12. esperanza
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    esperanza revert of many years

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    salamalaykum brother... ideeply respect your position and opininon,,,,do you really reommend that she does not marry out of europe....'
    surely thereare happy endings too??
  13. a_stranger
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    :salam2:
    Dear sister:

    2: But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not.

    Translation of the meanings of Quran
  14. Hajjerr
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    Hajjerr He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram

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    :wasalam: it is very true indeed :shymuslima1:
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    Hajjerr He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram

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    you are maybe right and thank you for your reply. on the other hand i decided to let only Allah guide us (ofcourse He will even if i dont let Him :) i was just sayng i am in peace with this) because : All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood. Nothing shall be legitimate to a Muslim which belongs to a fellow Muslim unless it was given freely and willingly. Do not, therefore, do injustice to yourselves.
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    Assalaam walaikum,

    Sister, I have seen this so many many times. This is a good case for plural wives. In an ideal world he could have married you to satisfy his heart and marry another sister to satisfy his obligations.

    Do you think you will not be tested. Yes, you will be tested. And you have passed the test. You love Allah.

    And that which is with Allah is better.

    Your path is going to be full of sunshine, lollipops and rainbows..do not worry.
  17. Hajjerr
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    Hajjerr He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram

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    Whoever desires the harvest of the Hereafter - We increase for him in his harvest. And whoever desires the harvest of this world - We give him thereof, but there is not for him in the Hereafter any share. have any felt that out of the trials of his life , even thinks he lost something, he in fact gained, becamed a stronger person seeking help of Allah, His friendship, His way ? i think i feel like this :shymuslima1: may Allah guide us all and inchallah i come back with good news
  18. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam walaikum,

    MashaAllah, sister, that's right. You keep it positive and keep on Believing. It is all good.
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    :salam2:

    Dear sister , if you continue in the path of faith and reliance on Allah sobhanahu wa taala, continue to pray , read and understand Quran......i am sure that Allah sobhanahu wa taala will give you better tnan the things you have lost ......now and then ......now you found the truth and the way to Janna this is the most important thing for any human. :ma:
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    kashif_nazeer ~~~Alhamdulillah~~~

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    :wasalam:

    Sister,your post caught my attention and while I have my exam tommorow(it made me forget all my anxiety related to it).
    Sister,as you have said for yourself that this world is trial for believers,just in case when you are faced with troubles always remember that it is a trial and life in itself is a collection of trials.I cannot imagine what you are going through,but sister life is too short to be sad, depressed or anxious,just look at the other things and let Allah guide you.Perform istikhara inshaAllah and leave it ALL on Allah,for we have no other Wali except Him.

    Whenever I come across sadness or worry or problem there is a feeling inside that alhamdulillah this is to humble me to Allah and soften me and all my worries and anxieties are replaced with hope from Allah.Alhamdulillah!
    A salaf said be like bird,which has to wings,one of hope other wing of fear.When faced with difficulties use the wing of hope more,that is,have more hope in Allah and when in a good situation,use the wing of fear,that is,have Allah's fear.This is how life of a believer should be sister.

    Perform salat and when you go in sajdah,remember that you are in the closest position to Allah and leave all your worries,cry your heart to Allah,desries,pride,problem etc there,in front of Allah and when you rise from sajdah, inshaAllah you will feel better.
    May Allah ease your affairs.Ameen.

    :wasalam:

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