What is wrong with me?

Discussion in 'TurnToIslam Lounge !' started by Muslim_Gurl, Apr 28, 2013.

  1. Muslim_Gurl
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    Muslim_Gurl Thank You Allah!

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    Assalamu alaykum

    For the longest time ever, I've been asking Allah to grant me this certain thing. Everyday for a whole year I've been asking so desperately and I would always think to myself that if Allah grants me it, I would be so happy and sooo thankful for it. I promised myself that I would do more workship and be a better Muslim out of complete gratitude. Well, Alhumdulillah, Allah did grant me it and I'm sooooo soo happy. However, I'm not doing as much good as I used to when I didn't have this thing. I would always supplicate to Allah and always be thinking about Him, but now I barely do. I thank Him every now and then, but I believe I was more thankful before.

    And sometimes I try to remind myself about how badly I wanted this thing, and what I did and how I felt when I thought I wouldn’t get it. I even went into a depression because of my fear of not getting it, that’s how serious it was. And now that I have it, everything is just forgotten. Now that I’m satisfied, I stopped calling out to Allah and stopped thanking Him. My heart has gone hard again. I’m afraid that because of how I am now, Allah will decide to take it away from me, because of my ungratefulness. Why am I like this? Is it normal for us to remember Allah less when we are happy? Even if I do remember Allah, it’s not as much as I used to, and that scares me. I’m afraid that Allah will take everything away from me by not remembering Him enough, everything belongs to Him anyway. Are these thoughts not right, or is this how we should fear Him?

    Thanks for listening.
    Wasalamu alaykum
  2. Sidra Rasib
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    Sidra Rasib MUSLiiM PRiiNCESS

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    Asalaam sister,

    Nothing's wrong with you, it's pretty normal to feel this way,

    Mashallah it's good that you even thought about not remembering Allah enough ... there's people out there that don't really care enough about that.. But yeah I think that it's not intended by humans (Muslims) to forget Allah, most of the times we're too busy with our daily activities.. To be honest if this certain thing is keeping you away from your Deen or distracting you then give it up or something but it's probably not even that serious .. Its probably the shaytaan getting to you (like it does to everyone) keep firm in your belief and pray that's what will keep Allah in your heart forever inshallah

    Also remember without allah we are nothing, you got what you wanted sister and that was from allah and may he shower more blessing on the Ummah ... Just try to thank him with the daily prayers so at the end of the day it will amount a lot inshallah

    Hope I helped .. (Doubt it!)
  3. Precious Star
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    I find this very interesting. I too have been making dua for some changes, but for a lot longer than a year -- more like ten years but definitely with great intensity the last 6 years. Lately, I've been thinking that maybe God's answer is no, and I've just been in denial all these years. It seems He does answer my dua for other people (my parents, siblings, friends), but when I ask for things for myself the answer is always the opposite. For example, I ask for loving people in my life, but my family becomes more nasty and rude to me. I ask for a companion, and I learn someone I once was interested in is now apply married. I have asked for motherhood but see signs of menopause.

    So lately I feel like Allah does not love me. I know I'm not supposed to think that way, but when it's time for dua I make the same duas as always but wonder if there is any point. I used to beg Allah, beseech Him, when I drove to work, but I don do that anymore either. Basically, I'm starting to just accept. That makes me sad.
  4. Muslim_Gurl
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    Muslim_Gurl Thank You Allah!

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    How can that even be possible? Allah answers everyone's dua, everyone's. Even a non-muslim if they call out to Him alone. And I've even seen it with them. I told my non-muslim friend to pray to only God for something, and she told me that when she did, He responded right away. She said that it never happened when she'd pray to Jesus. So if Allah can responde to people that don't even believe in Him, or His religion, then how can He not respond to the one that believes?

    Remember, dua is answered in three ways. Either in this life, in the next, or Allah has planned something better for you, so you will get something better than what you are asking for. Just be patient. Maybe this is your test in life.

    "Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested. And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allâh will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars.[Al Ankaboot (29):2-3]
    Also, sometimes Allah delays your dua because He loves how close you get to Him. And the fact that you are being tested proves that He does love you. Don't even think that He doesn't. Because maybe if He didn't love you as much, He would have responded right away, like He did for my non-muslim friend. And who knows, maybe the first time you asked for this specific thing, His answer right away was yes, but now it's just about being patient and waiting for that time to come. Always think postive about Allah. Allah says that He is what His servants think of Him. If you think good about Him, if you think He is Trustworthy, then He will be. But if you think that He holds back, then maybe He will.

    Another thing to think about is that Allah knows each and every person. He knows what they can bear, and what they can't. I personally believe that dua depends on how you are as a person. I'm very demanding. Whenever I make dua, it always ends with "Allah, You have to!" I don't know if I should be saying this, maybe I really shouldn't but even if I don't say it out loud, my heart is always saying it. Because I know that only Allah can give me what I want, no one else. And Allah knows that if He doesn't grant me it, I will feel betrayed. You know how they say that the greatest betrayal comes from those you trust the most. Well I trust Allah the most and if Allah doesn't respond to me, the betrayal would be so great that I don't think I will be able to handle it. But Allah NEVER betrays. Never, ever, ever.

    Ever, ever.

    So I think you should never lose hope in the power of dua, beause trust me, it can do wonders. Also, you need to think positive about Allah, don't give up on Him. And make sure you ask Allah approtiately. Humble yourself and tell Allah, even thogh He knows, that only He can respond and if He chooses not to, then no one else can. Only ALlah can help you, and that you need Him desperately, for we are nothing without Allah, and everything with Him.

    Sorry for the super long post. I hope you feel better, with whatever is going on in your life. Remember, after every hardship comes ease.

    Wasalam
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  5. Precious Star
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    Salaams,

    No, Allah never betrays!! Nor do I think that He has betrayed me.

    But when we make dua, our hearts are asking for this life. Imagine, if your mother was sick, would you pray that she gets better in this life, or hope that she dies and gets better in the next? When you pray for a husband, do you hope for one in this life, or are you happy with being alone until you die and then get a husband in the next life? REmember, we do not know what the next life is -- it is NOTHING like the current one, with the seasons of birth, life and death...marriage, childbirth, education, etc...it is a completely different existence. We cannot imagine that life, we just know it is a place of reward, where our souls will be at peace.

    Allah will answer us but sometimes the answer is no. That is the point of my post. But after all the no's, I kept praying. Imagine, I am in my 40s and still I pray for the impossible. Do you really think that after all this time, abracadabra my family is going to be nice to me and supportive? Just yesterday a family member called me a "pest" -- Astaghfirullah!

    I think you might be quite young - there are a lot of disappointments in life and sometimes we don't get what we pray for. Sometimes we keep getting bad things happen to us. It takes a lot of effort to keep hoping, but if Allah gives you all indications that the answer is no then why hope? When you do Istikhara, Allah makes the path easy for you; He removes the obstacles. I've done Istikhara so many times, and the obstacles get worse and worse.

    You have no idea.
  6. Muslim_Gurl
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    Muslim_Gurl Thank You Allah!

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    I don't know what to say to you. When I read your post, I feel like you are talking about a whole other being. My Lord cannot be like that.

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