What would you have done/would do?

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Asalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baarakaatuh,

Just as usual, I turn to you, brothers and sisters for some advice.

What is the best way to do Dawah to people who take their deen as a secular person would [though I won't call them secular, not because they are not, but because they don't call themselves or accept it]. A set of moral values = Islam and that's it. It's five obligatory prayers weather you establish them or not, it's not important. It's reciting the Qur'an once a day, week, month or a year. Being Ajam (non 'Arab) is enough excuse for not trying or even letting someone tell you what it says. It's about covering but not to cover. Where the beard and niqaab is widespread but not respected for it's real reason. Infact not respected by some at all. Where listening to music is as normal as breathing and dancing is "Just for fun" and an expression of happiness. Valentines day is alright to be celebrated and wished. And Rabbi ul Awal is for Mawlid. Where everyone who goes against all this is laughed at, ridiculed, tagged as radical, extremist etc, looked upon with amazement, curiousity, awe. . .anything but normal.

Sounds like your place, does it? I suppose most of the world is like that. But the question is, from those who have knowledge and have experience. What do you find most effective. How do you correct that which is wrong when almost everything around you is real real wrong. I don't mean snap at this, point at that. Forbid this, snub that. How do you talk with people with them not taking it personally. How do you act against stuff that's wrong. I'm confused.

Btw there is diversity but I'd like it if you focus on people of age 12-25 i.e Youth.

Let me give you a scenario:

You get into the class and you see a big shirky Happy Valentine banner with balloons and stuff. What's the best possible way to react. All the audience is Muslim, in a Muslim country and you are already the "Islamist".

I came to know the classmate who put it up, other girls said they put up anti-valentine words on the board and they were removed. They didn't want to talk about it but were hurt and angry. So I requested the guys to go out and talked to the girls. The classmate who put up that Chart started taking it personal, then down came the tears, her friends all became emotional and they started with all the reasoning and stuff. I did my bit of talking and saying sorry I went back to my seat. What should have been a nice beneficial chat went real wrong. Soon after this, one of the teachers started lecturing us about being careful not to have niqaab or abaya [beard in case of boys] if we were ever to appear in an interview or presentation. I was so overwhelmed by his pathetic words that I couldn't even look at him, let alone reason.

These are small incidents but I want to utilise them for dawah instead of them 'my spirits or discouraging me. Actually their part of the Job is done. I am seriously discouraged, It's more of a ego problem now (not sure if ego is the right word for what we call Gheerah, and I'm not sure if it's the part of the same Gheerah which is generally used for men, and translated as "Protective Jealousy for their women"). I value what's mine or what I'm blessed with. So I suppose they've even messed up my reward by messing up my sincerity of intentions.

Please, share and advice me on this one. I don't want to act as a deen-repellant.

Jazaakum Allahu Khayraa.

Wasalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baarakaatuh.

 

[Hajjerr]

salam aleikum wa rahmatulahy wa barakatuh

dear sister, i dont know what to advice just wanted tell you i reason with all that you said and often (everyday) i find my self in the situation where all that i say or do back-fires in my face...

i can understand that really makes one doubt if your approach was bad or the intentions where bad or the actions, even if at start you knew what is wrong and what is good...it is confusing, honestly ...you where the one to say sorry in the end.....sad what the teacher said,,,you say muslim country, imagine the non-muslim one...
really me too i wait for advices on this subject...

in the end Allah knows best, inchallah the bigger is the striving, the bigger the reward...

may Allah guide us all

:salam2:

 

[hayat84]

:salam2:
sometimes,while I'm out for a walk at the supermarket with my family I see someones looking at me,maybe thinking that I'm arab and that I've so many children...maybe they don't know that I'm italian and start talking about my children say>wow,how many children!how can they do?>.
by the way they think I'm a stranger,they also smile at me with some giggles,but when I turn my sight back to them with my smile compassion,they feel embarassed,because of their general bad opinion about the arabs,who usually make many children.
disbeliers believ that their thought is right,while we muslims are too much rigid/extrem...you should have the same streght they have to critisize the niqab or any behaviour a muslim has.if someone doesn't want to see,stay sure that he will prefere to be blind forever.do you think that they don't know the truth???they know it,they do,but they don't like to admit it,because they only think to the material satisfaction.celebrating s Valentine's day it's giving another occasion to Shaytan to make people forget Allah.as Iblis said,he will make Allah's slaves fall into the Hell.

 

[ditta]

Wa-alaykum-us-Salaam wa'Rahmatullaahi wa'Baraktuh,

I can only offer/share from my own experience (how valid it is, depends, my inclination is, that it is not).

Alhamdu'lillaah, I can't recall many (if any) situations where such a scenario has happened. That could be because, my personality, the area I live in, the people I have been surrounded with in the past. Only Allah knows.

My family (certain members) are the main people I try to advise. A couple of years ago I was more eager to share Qur'aan ayaat, hadeeths, inspiring stories with my family. This was in order to spark an interest in them, Insha'Allaah, towards learning a little about their religion and at least try to fulfil the basic duties required. Conflict points did occur on certain issues which I don't need to mention. Then I would remind before Ramadaan the importance of fulfilling basic requirements considering there is no fast without prayer but sadly met with no response every time. You (I refer to myself) know that only Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) can guide someone no matter what you or anyone does. You (again to myself) understand this I think when you mention something soul crushing and still receive no response.

I realise I haven't mentioned much of a context. However I learned something important (which may seem obvious), don't bang on at someone or fall into extremes when advising. What I try and say is, read your Salaah or at least try your best and make sure you only ask Allah, don't associate partners with Allah. Once you get into the habit of reading your prayers, Insha'Allaah it will become easier. No doubt, certain conflict points will occur because of culturally influenced celebrations or practices although you deal with that when it happens. This is because we forget our old selves sometimes. While progressing as Muslims, we had our old habits but Alham'dulillaah slowly we dropped these in order to please and earn Allah's forgiveness. The people closely related to us from my understanding, need that spark igniting, if Allah wills, to establish a connection with Allah which will Insha'Allaah result in them gradually dropping their old habits (easier said than done because old habits die hard or the connection with practices is soooo entrenched).

The reading your prayers argument can be used with relatives or friends as well. How often do you find someone who engages in such practices is negligent in their prayers? In my experience, a few. I may have dug a hole but I know often the problem is people are associating partners with Allah without admitting to that.

I'm looking at your post and seeing how this relates: simply, if such a scenario occurs in my family (happened recently with my nephews birthday), the only thing I could do was make it clear that such a celebration is not from Islam, simple as that. I did not start removing things physically or the like. Alhamdu'lillaah, I used it as an opportunity to advise the person about their prayers. Naturally, I would try to implement this manner of advising with strangers.

That's all I feel I can do out of fear of pushing the person away even more. Only Allah guides in the end. What I find funny is someone will call you a name but that same person could be negligent or does not pray and could be involved in illicit activity. I guess patience is required at such a time.

I'm not sure how this translates to your situation because of the different context. However imagine an older brother/sister hanging a birthday or mother's day celebration banner and everything else at home. How would you react? Personally, to the best of my ability, I would advise this is not from Islam with reasoning. If I started removing items I would fear driving the person away generally from Islam. Maybe it is obvious but I can't force someone to accept what is being said.

I don't know if this is erroneous thinking although my brief experience has shown, there is only so much one can say/do before it becomes adverse. The condition of general society does not help but that is a related point for another time, I guess.

I don't know if I missed the point completely but I think there is a general message in my post.

 

[strive-may-i]

Dont fall, nor curse.. Keep trying



To move a mountain
to move a hill
to move a house
Forget...

To Pull the next willing person from falling
Before pull, the align
Before align, the incline
At just the incline
If there is a decline,
Whats important is, I should not fall, is it not?!

Lead by example, failed
Talk, failed
Dont curse,
Make a dua to Allah ...

Because its we the people. Each on his own... And me on my own
Perseverance, Patience, peace ...

Hope you get the idea!

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Asalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baarakaatuh,

salam aleikum wa rahmatulahy wa barakatuh

dear sister, i dont know what to advice just wanted tell you i reason with all that you said and often (everyday) i find my self in the situation where all that i say or do back-fires in my face...

i can understand that really makes one doubt if your approach was bad or the intentions where bad or the actions, even if at start you knew what is wrong and what is good...it is confusing, honestly ...you where the one to say sorry in the end.....sad what the teacher said,,,you say muslim country, imagine the non-muslim one...
really me too i wait for advices on this subject...

in the end Allah knows best, inchallah the bigger is the striving, the bigger the reward...

may Allah guide us all

:salam2:

To move a mountain
to move a hill
to move a house
Forget...

To Pull the next willing person from falling
Before pull, the align
Before align, the incline
At just the incline
If there is a decline,
Whats important is, I should not fall, is it not?!

Lead by example, failed
Talk, failed
Dont curse,
Make a dua to Allah ...

Because its we the people. Each on his own... And me on my own
Perseverance, Patience, peace ...

Hope you get the idea!

BaarakAllaahu feekum for your kinds words, both of you. May Allaah pay you very for your encouragement.

if someone doesn't want to see,stay sure that he will prefere to be blind forever.do you think that they don't know the truth???they know it,they do,but they don't like to admit it,because they only think to the material satisfaction.celebrating s Valentine's day it's giving another occasion to Shaytan to make people forget Allah.as Iblis said,he will make Allah's slaves fall into the Hell.[/I]

Ukht, I can't just turn my face away and close my eyes, thinking the chose hell and beliving it fine!

How is that possible? Surely I've got some part in that duty to Allaah, some responsibilty that I'll be accounted for. So many times I would just willingly walk away, but I fear I'll have a part of it in my case. I don't want to be questioned for that which I detest.

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Asalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baarakaatuh,

Alhamdu'lillaah. . .

JazaakAllaahu Khayraa for taking your time to post this. There was a line in your post that rang a bell, but. . .

I'm not sure I got the rest of it brother. I'm confused, do you take it that I 'force' it on people? My initial thoughts were to tear off that banner and blow up all the balloons with my hijaab pins but decided against it when I realised I was thinking with an angry head. I don't recall reciting any verse or hadith partially because I know people close their internal ears the moment they are mentioned and partially because I don't know many with accurate words and referances. Best not say what I don't know well myself.

The only things I've removed recently are statues in the room I'm suppose to live in. Often, I think many times before talking sense into someone here, going over the situation in my head over and over again, repeating the words I'm planning on prouncing, hoping they are right. If it was just that girl I wanted to talk to, I would have pulled her aside, I've done that with her once before and she's been accepting Mashaa'Allah(not acting, but still).

This time I didn't wanted to point anyone out. She took it personally and I was/am shocked, why?

But that was just an example, most of the time, fearing such outcomes, I do/say nothing. Hating myself, since this is the proof of having the characteristics of the one with the lowest of the degrees of Imaan. I would like to change that Inshaa`Allaah. So I made this thread. . .

Now I understand you gave me advice up there but I guess I'm too slow to grab it. I apologise if that's the case.

 

[kashif_nazeer]

:salam2:

Ukhti karima,
This is a situation most of us have faced.Many people whom we come across dont take religion seriously.I was really saddenned to read about what your teacers said,but many of my relatives have said similar things so I can imagine how angry one can get when he/she hears such things.If you want to know my experience sister,I have seen people change their hearts when verbal dawaah is combined with behavioral daawah which involves action.Affecting people's heart(bi'idhnillah) is very crucial when it comes to daawah.We might get to see and hear many bad words and things but as Allah says in Qur'an in interpretation of meanings that if we are patient and persevere then that is the deciding manner.So the akhlaaq of a da'ee is a very crucial element .

Qur'an gives us a formula to win people's hearts and create a magnetism,in surat al fussilat in the interpretation of the meaning:

And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend.[41:34]

So try to apply this formula as well when doing dawah.

One of my respected brother wrote this note which I would like to share with you,hope it helps inshaAllah:

Annoying Daee or an impressive Daee


I wish to start my this note with a joke… There was little boy, who had memorized only one essay… and whatever topic was given to him, the kid drifted the topic in such a way that he got his friend in it and than he wrote whatever he had memorized… his teacher was very annoyed because of his this behavior… so once the teacher thought of an idea and gave the topic “My journey to the moon” to the kid, assuming that now the kid wont be able to introduce his friend in it… the kid started writing… he wrote… I got a free ticket to the moon, it was only for me, I went to the space shuttle, sat on my seat, buckle up and the space shuttle took off… when it was taking off, I saw out of the window and found my friend waving at me… his name is ****** and we are good friends, he lives next to my home………. And goes on…

Similar to the kid, many of us usually behave in same manner… we learn few ruling and whatever our friends are discussing we make sure that we fit those ruling in that topic… whether they are discussing Cars, airplanes or mobile phones… trying to prove that we know too much about Islam… but still when we hear the call for the prayer, we feel that it is isha… we can pray later at home…

Usually such type of daees are avoided by their friends… reason is pretty simple, as sheikh Albani (May Allah have mercy on him) says

---QUOTE---

“since all of us believe that when Allaah the Mighty and Majestic said, “Invite to the Way of your Lord with wisdom and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better,” [An-Nahl 16:125]

He only did so because the Truth in and of itself is [already] heavy on the people, it is heavy on the souls of mankind and that is why they become arrogant and don’t accept it, except for those upon whom your Lord has mercy.

So when another thing and another weight, i.e., harshness in calling to Allah [da’wah], is added to the weightiness of the truth on the human soul, it will result in driving the people away from the call. And you know the saying of the Prophet (Peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) “Indeed from among you are those who drive people away.” He said it three times.”

---UNQUOTE---

A simple practical example of what sheikh Albani have said is… when a grave worshipper invites you to come with him to the grave, We normally refuse him with a smile… but when we ask him not to go to the grave… we all know what is their reaction…

Once in a gathering there were some people who belonged to the group of innovations… after a while the topic of deen was brought under discussion… most of us thought that this would end up in a fight… but that one person kept quite and keenly heard the argument of the innovators… after a while that person start talking in a general perspective and told that sometimes people quote some hadith and claim that such hadith support their view… but when we read the full context of that hadith, we realize what the real case was… just for instance, we all have heard a very common hadith narrated by Jareer ibn 'Abdullaah al-Bajali (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: 'Whoever starts a good thing and is followed by others, will have his own reward and a reward equal to that of those who follow him, without it detracting from their reward in any way. Whoever starts a bad thing and is followed by others, will bear the burden of his own sin and a burden equal to that of those who follow him, without it detracting from their burden in any way.'" (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no. 2675. He said, This is a saheeh hasan hadeeth)

But there is a story behind this hadith… Imaam Muslim reported this story from Jareer ibn 'Abdullaah, who also narrated the hadeeth itself. He said: "Some people from the Bedouin came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), wearing woollen garments. He saw that they were in bad shape and in desperate need, so he urged the people to give them charity. They people were very slow to respond, and it could be seen in his face (that he was upset). Then a man of the Ansaar brought a package of silver, then another came, and another and another, and his face was filled with joy. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: 'Whoever starts a good thing in Islam, and others do likewise after him, there will be written for him a reward like that of those who followed him, without it detracting in the least from their reward. Whoever starts a bad thing in Islam, and others do likewise after him, there will be written for him a burden of sin like that of those who followed him, without it detracting in the least from their burden.'" (Reported by Muslim, no. 1017)

(P.S. He told these hadith verbally, I have copied them from Islamqa for authentic words and reference)

than the person said, you see how people mis-interpret hadith and make their claims… An elderly person among the people of innovation said, you are right but we should leave this topic to scholars for discussion… in other words he meant lets change the topic… This was the most appropriate way of dawah I have ever witnessed…

Many boys who start following Islam and after listening few lectures from Dr. Zakir, Dr Israr and they feel they know the deen completely… they usually speak a lot about Islam with their non-practicing friend… which eventually annoy them and such friends start avoiding him… There are effective ways to bring changes in your friends… I was impressed by the words of one of my FB colleagues… he said “I wear jeans and t-shirts on the regular, play Futbol, ride a motorcycle … all Halal stuff mA. But at the same time to try to make sure that lines aren't being transgressed my myself and those whom I associate with.” We should be friends with our friends to bring them back to the right path…

And Even when we look back to the teaching of many scholar including the sahaba, when the people asked them to teach them deen every day, they refused saying that they fear that people might get bored of it…

But there are some people, who talk about deen in such a manner that it is soo light and interesting and we don’t wish to leave their company… I had a similar company with Nisaar bhai… May Allah protect him… and there was one more person I would like to mention here… he was my teacher of Arabic in grade 5th and 6th… he was an old person with half black and half white beard… always dressed in Saudi Taoop and Gutra… with a brilliant smile on his face… although he was overweight but was soo weak, that it was really hard for him to control the class of 35 – 40 boys … The only tool or power he had was… tell the kids a story related to Islam… I remember when he used to teach us Arabic, it was hard to maintain silence in the class but as soon as his smiling face started to tell a story… it felt like there is not a single person in the class… pin drop silence with every one in the class was somewhere lost in his words… SubhanAllah… that was a beauty… how heavy messages were made light by him was a quality in itself… it’s been more than 15 yrs but still I remember some of the stories he told us… May Allah have mercy on him and give him health…

We should think about ourselves… are we calling others to Islam by bring an impressive daee or making people run away by being an annoying daee…

JazakAllah Khair

May Allah accept your efforts.Ameen.

 

[ditta]

Asalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baarakaatuh,



JazaakAllaahu Khayraa for taking your time to post this. There was a line in your post that rang a bell, but. . .

I'm not sure I got the rest of it brother. I'm confused, do you take it that I 'force' it on people? My initial thoughts were to tear off that banner and blow up all the balloons with my hijaab pins but decided against it when I realised I was thinking with an angry head. I don't recall reciting any verse or hadith partially because I know people close their internal ears the moment they are mentioned and partially because I don't know many with accurate words and referances. Best not say what I don't know well myself.

The only things I've removed recently are statues in the room I'm suppose to live in. Often, I think many times before talking sense into someone here, going over the situation in my head over and over again, repeating the words I'm planning on prouncing, hoping they are right. If it was just that girl I wanted to talk to, I would have pulled her aside, I've done that with her once before and she's been accepting Mashaa'Allah(not acting, but still).

This time I didn't wanted to point anyone out. She took it personally and I was/am shocked, why?

But that was just an example, most of the time, fearing such outcomes, I do/say nothing. Hating myself, since this is the proof of having the characteristics of the one with the lowest of the degrees of Imaan. I would like to change that Inshaa`Allaah. So I made this thread. . .

Now I understand you gave me advice up there but I guess I'm too slow to grab it. I apologise if that's the case.

Wa-alaykum-us-Salaam wa'Rahmatullaahi wa'Barakatuh,

No sister, I don't mean to say you force it upon people. Sorry if it sounded like that in my post (I think I have taken this from your post without realising it was not in the scenario). I think my way of expression is becoming messy. I was trying to show how I approached a slightly similar scenario explaining how the manner of my approach (attitude) has changed. Now I just feel, if there is a situation where an explanation is necessary and I am able, then try to offer it in the best possible way because people can take it the wrong way no matter what (what happened with the sister in your example). Considering a gentle explanation can make matters worse, doing anything more can be harmful. (I realise this is negative but reflecting on my brief experience, its true). Therefore, I probably would have used the same approach in your scenario as with my family.

Again, apologies for my original post if it sounded like I was saying you started removing things physically, became extreme or used the wrong approach. I was thinking (most likely) of another example and have mixed them into my post. I hope you are not offended.

 

[MuslimShadow]

:salam2:

Correct me if i'm wrong - We give dawah to non-muslims and do islaah of muslims.I think islaah is needed here.

The people you are talking about already know the basics of islam and what's right and wrong.

How can we dawah to hypocrites.??

And ALLAH knows best.

 

[Tabassum07]

:salam2:

There are a lot of muslims who know what is right and what is wrong, but they still choose to continue doing the things they know are wrong just because "its not that big of a deal" to them. Sister, you have got to remember that we can't change anyone's line of thinking, or put taqwa in their hearts - only Allah can do that.

Ugh, I completely hate the reasoning of "take off your hijab to get a job". Its just pathetic, and I know how much it hurts because I've had it said to me sooo many times.

YOu can keep tryiing to give dawah sis, but maybe you could try a few different approaches and see if any of them work in these scenarios.

For example, I've learned people hate to be told "what to do", "how to behave", etc.. But if you're discussing any random Islamic point with them beginning with "My elders were saying this" or "I've been told this that.." and say how what you heard affected you and you were thinking you should stop doing Act X, Y, Z, etc.... maybe it could work?

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Asalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baarakaatuh,

Wa-alaykum-us-Salaam wa'Rahmatullaahi wa'Barakatuh,

No sister, I don't mean to say you force it upon people. Sorry if it sounded like that in my post (I think I have taken this from your post without realising it was not in the scenario). I think my way of expression is becoming messy. I was trying to show how I approached a slightly similar scenario explaining how the manner of my approach (attitude) has changed. Now I just feel, if there is a situation where an explanation is necessary and I am able, then try to offer it in the best possible way because people can take it the wrong way no matter what (what happened with the sister in your example). Considering a gentle explanation can make matters worse, doing anything more can be harmful. (I realise this is negative but reflecting on my brief experience, its true). Therefore, I probably would have used the same approach in your scenario as with my family.

Again, apologies for my original post if it sounded like I was saying you started removing things physically, became extreme or used the wrong approach. I was thinking (most likely) of another example and have mixed them into my post. I hope you are not offended.

I'm not offended Inshaa'Allaah. I'm pleased and grateful that you took your time to respond to my 'essay'. JazaakAllahu khayraa alf alf Maratha. I was just confused.
What would have been the best possible way, in this case, according to you?

I apologise for repeating my question. I just want to clear something Inshaa'Allaah.

:salam2:

Ukhti karima,
This is a situation most of us have faced.Many people whom we come across dont take religion seriously.I was really saddenned to read about what your teacers said,but many of my relatives have said similar things so I can imagine how angry one can get when he/she hears such things.If you want to know my experience sister,I have seen people change their hearts when verbal dawaah is combined with behavioral daawah which involves action.Affecting people's heart(bi'idhnillah) is very crucial when it comes to daawah.We might get to see and hear many bad words and things but as Allah says in Qur'an in interpretation of meanings that if we are patient and persevere then that is the deciding manner.So the akhlaaq of a da'ee is a very crucial element .

Qur'an gives us a formula to win people's hearts and create a magnetism,in surat al fussilat in the interpretation of the meaning:

And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend.[41:34]

So try to apply this formula as well when doing dawah.

One of my respected brother wrote this note which I would like to share with you,hope it helps inshaAllah:

May Allah accept your efforts.Ameen.

BaarakAllaahu feek for your reply brother. I'm not a good example but minor things like me not discussing movies, music and dramas, got them curious. I avoided the question but when I couldn't find a way out I told them I don't watch any of that. To fish out of a party with music and stuff I told them Music depresses me, but they were able to guess what's going on. I feel like my actions are putting them on the watch. So I watch my tongue.

You see that example in the note you share? I wanted to learn those techniques.

That formula actually worked. Before I made this thread, a hadith about giving gifts creates love, kept on crossing my mind. I decided to do that with her to recharge the battery and made up with that girl today. They were trying to act 'normal' but I could see them eyeing me closely as I entered the class. I went to her and hugged her (Something I don't usually do) and started chatting as if nothing has happened. Later she apologise and I let her talk. I see the Problem was actually the other girls who were angry because their words were removed. They were sitting behind her and whilst I was talking to them, she heard them say something and put her on the defensive. I'm happy it worked out, I later slipped some chocolates in her bag to make sure she forgets it. Poor girl, she was so embarrassed. but now I don't want to get embarrassed and hope my 'conveying without hurting or boring people' will work out Inshaa'Allaah.

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Asalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baarakaatuh,

:salam2:

YOu can keep tryiing to give dawah sis, but maybe you could try a few different approaches and see if any of them work in these scenarios.

For example, I've learned people hate to be told "what to do", "how to behave", etc.. But if you're discussing any random Islamic point with them beginning with "My elders were saying this" or "I've been told this that.." and say how what you heard affected you and you were thinking you should stop doing Act X, Y, Z, etc.... maybe it could work?

*Smile* I actully want to know what those "few different appraoches" are. The one you mentoined, I will try that Inshaa'Allaah. BaarakAllaahu feeki.

But there are two sorts of people:

1) (Usually family), They totally act like a wall the moment they realise things are about to get related to Islam. You gossip, it's fine, you joke, that's awesome, you play games, cool. You just don't have to come anywhere near the topic of "Islam". Problem with these people is, we hardly talk now. I don't discuss music, movies and dramas. I'm mentally blank in these areas, there is lil to nothing I know. Them on the other hand can't bear a good beneficial discussion. So I don't push, hardly talk to them. But suppose I am to help them out, is there a way?

2) (Usually friends) They show interest and think it's nice, but it's hard to know how they'll take it. Example of this is what happened in our class. I don't want that happening again.

Jazaakillahu Khayraa for your suggestion. I think it'll work with the second type of people Inshaa'Allaah.

:salam2:

Correct me if i'm wrong - We give dawah to non-muslims and do islaah of muslims.I think islaah is needed here.

The people you are talking about already know the basics of islam and what's right and wrong.

How can we dawah to hypocrites.??

And ALLAH knows best.

Da`wah = Invitation. Yeah, Islah is a better word but da`wah can be used. Allaah knows best.

 

[ditta]

Asalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baarakaatuh,



I'm not offended Inshaa'Allaah. I'm pleased and grateful that you took your time to respond to my 'essay'. JazaakAllahu khayraa alf alf Maratha. I was just confused.
What would have been the best possible way, in this case, according to you?

I apologise for repeating my question. I just want to clear something Inshaa'Allaah.

Wa-alaykum-us-Salaam wa'Rahmatullaahi wa'Barakatuh,

If I was in this scenario I think I would have made it clear how valentine's day and other similar celebrations are not from Islam. Show how we have the two Eid's as the Prophet said (if we profess to follow his Sunnah). Then try to explain how most of these celebrations are commercially driven rather than actually celebrating anything. Try and show how as Muslims we are expected to be dutiful to our Mothers and Fathers (if applied to mother's or father's day) constantly and not for one particular day. An action with meaning towards our parents would carry more weight in authenticity if it was done unexpectedly compared to reserving one specific day (in the sight of Allah, Insha'Allah and by our parents, that look of genuine surprise that I think is lost with these reserved days). Same with Valentine's, a husband and wife's responsibilities and affection is constant, not specific (and not to forget for those outside marriage it is unIslamic, inviting Shaytaan and his arrows, something as innocent as a card can lead to worse situations, just as the saying goes, Shaytaan doesn't invite you to commit Shirk or fornication, rather he sets it up, leading a person gradually until he commits the act).

If the response was, "we are only doing something good and not bad", then I would try and paraphrase the narration of the men counting the amount of times they would say, 'Allaahu Akbar', 'Subhaan'Allaah' and 'Laa ilaha illalaah' with pebbles and I think it was Abdullaah ibn Mas'ood's response to them. I am not sure of its applicability to this scenario however seeing as how practices that have no basis upon the Qur'aan and Sunnah have become a part of Islam, then I think it could be used.

I think these celebrations/practices that are not really part of the South Asian culture should be easier to let go of compared to those that are more aligned/known with our culture. Sadly it seems that isn't the case. With Allah's help, it takes an understanding/realisation to examine oneself against the Qur'aan and Sunnah. Then to gradually adjust in line with these which can be difficult because of certain factors (family; being ostracised, mocked, not line with family culture, going against norms, honour, etc.), it can take time and some are more difficult than others.

That's all I think I could do without appearing to be antagonistic. How well this would work, only Allah knows.

Originally Posted by Tabassum07

:salam2:


For example, I've learned people hate to be told "what to do", "how to behave", etc.. But if you're discussing any random Islamic point with them beginning with "My elders were saying this" or "I've been told this that.." and say how what you heard affected you and you were thinking you should stop doing Act X, Y, Z, etc.... maybe it could work?

Wa-alaykum-us-Salaam wa'Rahmatullaah,

Sister, I realise you directed this at sister 'Seeking Allah's Mercy' but I just wanted to add something.

Do you mean for example, person A started to regularly read his prayers ensuring to call Allah Alone and he is showing to person B the great blessings he has seen, Alhamdu'lillaah, in order to spark an interest/motivation for him/her to pray? If so, it can work, if Allah wills although sadly I have seen it still doesn't. In the end, Allah guides but it is the blindness of a person to at least try and appreciate the clear blessings. What I mean by clear blessings, for example, making Du'aa' to Allah so that a family member is given good health when all avenues look bleak. You would assume that person upon seeing acceptance of that supplication would be thankful. I guess it makes you really understand that only Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) can guide or misguide. May Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) keep us steadfast. Ameen.

 

[strive-may-i]

Asalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baarakaatuh,
.
.
.
I'm not offended Inshaa'Allaah. I'm pleased and grateful that you took your time to respond to my 'essay'. JazaakAllahu khayraa alf alf Maratha. I was just confused.
What would have been the best possible way, in this case, according to you?

That formula

is called wise skills polished by Imaan. And how to go about it?

[Quran 16:125]


Call unto the way of thy Lord with wisdom and fair exhortation, and reason with them in the better way. Lo! thy Lord is Best Aware of him who strayeth from His way, and He is Best Aware of those who go aright.

[Pickthall]


Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best. Indeed, your Lord is most knowing of who has strayed from His way, and He is most knowing of who is [rightly] guided.
[Sahih International ]


Invite (mankind, O Muhammad SAW) to the Way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom (i.e. with the Divine Inspiration and the Quran) and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His Path, and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided.

[Muhsin Khan]

Pickthalls translation, is apt here
​

And there isn't a better example other than Prophet

Narrated Anas: The Prophet said, “Make things easy and do not make them difficult, cheer the people up by conveying glad tidings to them and do not repulse (them).” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Narrated ‘Aishah: Allah’s Messenger said, “Whenever kindness is added to something, it adorns it; and whenever it is withdrawn from something, it leaves it defective.”(Muslim)
​

Trust me, you cannot keep on telling peopl , nor showing yourself as a transformed example, it wont win you hearts, bring right results. The listener always needs more intelligence, you are a listener too...

From the previous post. What does below convey to you?

To move a mountain
to move a hill
to move a house
Forget...

To Pull the next willing person from falling
Before pull, the align
Before align, the incline
At just the incline
If there is a decline,
Whats important is, I should not fall, is it not?!

Lead by example, failed
Talk, failed
Dont curse,
Make a dua to Allah ...​

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Wa-alaykum-us-Salaam wa'Rahmatullaahi wa'Barakatuh,

If I was in this scenario I think .
.
.
May Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) keep us steadfast. Ameen.

JazaakAllaahu khayraa. Ameen to your duas wa Iyyak.

A general question. Do you usually talk to them individualy or address the whole group? I have this very awkward feeling before this "talk". I have a problem to assess if it's the right time?

Two girls in my class recited a naat yesterday. The guys were there and so was our teacher (male). Those girls had beautiful voices. I wanted to tell them it was incorrect, but provided what recently happened. I wasn't sure if me asking for a chat with those girls was right. I felt like they'll think I'm taking the responsiblity of talking to them even for sneezing. So I didn't. Not sure if it was Shaitan's waswasa. Or if it was the right thing to do. I just don't know if it's arrogance, and I'm neglecting the duty to Allaah and my fellow Muslims.

is called wise skills polished by Imaan. And how to go about it?
From the previous post. What does below convey to you?

BaarakAllaahu feek for sharing those ayah and Ahadeeth akh.

You asked what it conveys? well peotry or explaining peotry has never been my thing. But in simple words, the last line explains the entire poem itself.

JazaakAllaahu khayraa.

 

[ditta]

JazaakAllaahu khayraa. Ameen to your duas wa Iyyak.

A general question. Do you usually talk to them individualy or address the whole group? I have this very awkward feeling before this "talk". I have a problem to assess if it's the right time?

Two girls in my class recited a naat yesterday. The guys were there and so was our teacher (male). Those girls had beautiful voices. I wanted to tell them it was incorrect, but provided what recently happened. I wasn't sure if me asking for a chat with those girls was right. I felt like they'll think I'm taking the responsiblity of talking to them even for sneezing. So I didn't. Not sure if it was Shaitan's waswasa. Or if it was the right thing to do. I just don't know if it's arrogance, and I'm neglecting the duty to Allaah and my fellow Muslims.

Like I said, this hasn't really happened to me a lot with Muslims outside my family (although I would take the same approach). However, it depends on the situation, what the vibe is, etc. I think when naturally addressing an individual it might turn into addressing the whole group unless it is private. Timing is key. There is no set answer for the correct timing, you decide in the moment. (This is in reference to the original scenario). I recall one example while in education that was related to a more racy topic (informal talk among students) and I responded because I was addressed with the racy question with a short answer (not a lot of knowledge then or now) to the Muslim which turned into an answer to the whole group (because gradually while answering, the noise turned into silence).

It's difficult and there is a balance in advising. That's because with these smaller matters compared to tawheed and salaah it can be more harmful than beneficial (the outcomes). I hope this makes sense.

 

[strive-may-i]

:salam2:

Sister, that response from you helped.

So, you are seeing people around you. You have set clear cut boundaries on what is your purpose in life, you have your goals and you have seeked the knowledge to the means to achieve goals. Your means are those of the Prophet and his companions, your goals are aligned to pleasing Almighty Allah.

Now you are seeing people around you. You sense they are falling/failing. You want to move them to a better path. You want to move the entire house to better path. If you could, you would want to move the entire hill filled with houses and people to better path. Agreed, there is much reward for you in it, if you succeed, and remain humbled, despite the success. But are you ready? Before trying to pull up a unwilling, have you had good success in holding hand and stabilizing a someone who is willing, A someone out of will stretched out a hand seeking your help? Has the results, made you humble enough? Or has it made you lose? Some roles come with risks to soul, one has to be prepared, one has to feel Almighty's guidance before taking the plunge. So....!

I would start from the easy, assuming am the damager, becoming a manager and transforming into a pious leader, that is out of Allah's bounty.

And let me remind, what I put here, is my opinion

Its a matter of leadership, And if there is a human teacher for Leadership, then its another leader. The ability to do the right thing at right time for the right reason, in the right measure, does not come easily.

May Almighty, guide us for our own betterment... Ameen

 

[strive-may-i]

Assalaamu Alaikum,

All said, when ready do it.

On a Lighter note, the Hubble sisters explain it best:


http://thehubblesisters.tumblr.com/post/12472259533/when-your-imans-soaring-high-and-you-want-to-do
(Disclaimer: You might not like all thats there.)