What's the biggie about age difference in marriages

Discussion in 'Women, Family, and Marriage' started by muslimahindeen, Jan 7, 2007.

  1. muslimahindeen
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    muslimahindeen Junior Member

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    :salam2: Anyone have a problem with marrying someone older than they are like 5-10 yrs older what about younger ?????

    Is anyone here married like that ??does it make a difference just curious???

    heard younger guys are more Immature and older guys are to demanding :lol: :lol: :lol:
  2. AishaR
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    :salam2:

    My husband is 14 yrs older than myself. We have been together for 18mths & so far the age difference hasnt caused any problems. He is like a little child at heart & hasnt really grown up, lol
    He is no more demanding then any of us can be at times.

    :wasalam:
  3. ripefig
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    ripefig Junior Member

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    :salam2:

    Most times (not All) age bring wisdom, but in a relationship the main thing is the heart of the individual. Some good examples are our Mother Khadija RA who was older than the Phrophet:saw: She was his strength and had a very special place in his heart. On the other hand is our Mother Aisha RA who was younger than him, but also had a special place in his heart. So you see it can work both ways for the better. One last example is Prophet Ibrahim A.S. when he was just a child, he believed that there was only one God, but he could not convince his father of the truth. This is a clear indication that maturity and wisdom does not necessarily come with age, but the condition of one's heart. :SMILY47:
  4. 38khadj
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    38khadj Junior Member

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    :salam2: My husband is 5 years younger and we have never found the age a problem! :hearts:
    You are as young as you feel in your heart or the opposite!
    :wasalam:
  5. fahad96
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    fahad96 Fahad

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    Assalam Aleikum
    "Love is blind and never go behind"
    Marriage doesn't make any age difference
    Relationship is the main thing in the heart of 2 Lovers ..LOL

    Fahad
  6. amina29
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    amina29 New Member

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    I know a sister whose husband is 11 years younger than herself....

    They have a very good relationship, alhamdulillah
  7. Hajar
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    Hajar Active Member Staff Member

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    Assalaam alaykum,

    hehe age is nothing but a number.... :)


    Wasalam
  8. NewMuslim
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    NewMuslim Slave of Allah

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    Walaykum Salaam
    I'm not married, but my mother and father are 10 years apart in age (my father's older). However, something like 30 or 40 years is just gross IMHO. Depends on the reason, though. I'm talking about for love only.
  9. shaz_1999
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    I would prefer 2marry sme1 older den me coz seeing da guys younger den me im finkin hw cud I live wid dem.

    How much older den me?, I do not mind any number of years.

    But at da end of da day who knws wat Allah hz pland 4me
  10. Basicofislam
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    Basicofislam sister

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    :salam2: I know somebody who is 20 and her husband is 41. And they got married when she was 18. They have a baby now and are happily married.
  11. saima11
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    :salam2:

    my husband is 5yrs older then me we been married for nearly 5 years, age not been a problem, even though he is a big baby but can't blame him as he is the baby in his family[the last child].
  12. TheHumbleWun
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    TheHumbleWun Banned

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    I don't think age is relevant, at least to me. What I look for is:

    If they are religious
    Good family
    Educated
    How they view life, etc etc

    I look at the basics first, no matter what age--older or younger. Some people that are older look younger than me, some people that are younger looks older than me, sort of a paradox...haha

    Today you can see a 30 year old who likes playing his Playstation for fun and a 20 year reading the Quran for fun. It all depends on how you see it and what you like.
  13. Umm Aysha
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    Umm Aysha *Strive for Jannah*

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    Asalaamu Alaykum

    I totally agree with you brother......age doesnt really matter to me, it all depends on the person and their personality and character and if they are honest and religious.

    May Allah bless us all with a pious spouse......ameen.

    wasalam
  14. junaid hasan
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    junaid hasan Banned

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    i think the age difference between 5-10 is enough.
    but 15 years or 20 years differaence?
    i think its excess
  15. virtualeye
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    virtualeye Tamed Brother

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    AssalamuAlaikum,

    Sister your post is really funny. :D

    You used the following words:

    den= The habitation of wild animals

    cud=Food of a ruminant regurgitated to be chewed again


    I understand this style, but sometimes wonder why people use it. :SMILY335:

    Wassalaam.
    VE
  16. shaz_1999
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    I just shortn da words I am so used to emailing and txtin all da time I get used to wrting like dis.

    Wen I wz at uni I had 2mke sure da words were all in full coz it wz very importnt now alhumdollilah I hav a job itz hard to make sure of da words.

    Fanks for makin me laugh
  17. hussain.mahammed
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    hussain.mahammed a lonely traveller

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    ^^^^^Gosh !!!!...hard for me to understand
    Age doesn't really matter. Already good examples in the posts above Subhan Allah. May Allah guide you with His Noor and give you Hikmah.
    But I dont know why some people marry when the age difference is too much like 40 - 50 years. I have seen an old guy of around 60 marrying a girl of 18? I dont want to say that its bad or some sort of like that. What do you think about it?
    Not generalising though but I have seen many Arabs in India as well as out here doing that.
    Allahu Aleem.
    wa/salam
  18. Globalpeace
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    Its not really about age, its about Maturity and Compatibility!

    Asslamo Allaikum,

    I don’t think that its about age; its about maturity and compatibility between the two. Some people stay immature at 50 others are mature, caring and responsible at 19.

    Women (even Non-Muslims) like mature, caring, funny, responsible men and prefer to marry them, it’s in their biological nature.

    Some will say where do you find men with all those 4 qualities in 1 person! Ha Ha!

    However I do believe in my humble opinion that difference of over 15 years could be a massive difference.

    I do find that when you get older (like me in mid-30’s) you tend to be set in your ways and its hard to change…versus when you are younger you tend to be flexible.

    If you meet someone who is mature enough and compatible to you then consider it as a gift from Allah (SWT) and go tie the knot!
  19. zeneesha
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    zeneesha ~trini_muslimah~

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    :salam2:
    Regarding this age thing, I'd prefer a guy either 2 years younger, or about 5 years older than me.
    Now I'm not sure as to how true this is, but I've heard somewhere that it is sunnah, for a woman to marry a guy younger than her.
    Could someone clarify that for me please.
    Jazak Allah
  20. Wulf
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    Wulf Junior Member

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    :salam2:

    My Wife was 22 years my Junior.

    For 12 years we were happy, I was in paradise. But as I got older, she started looking at younger men. She listened to others who placed ridicule on our marriage because of the age difference.

    They would say things like, "How can you stay with an old man?"
    She started to take notice of what they were saying and stopped looking into my heart, seeing only what was on the outside.
    She separated herself from me in the home and eventually moved out leaving our child and me alone.

    In saying these things one must consider that niether one of us was Muslim, we had no Iman to follow.
    She was raised at a time when marriage had little value.
    She herself had no example to follow, coming from a broken family.

    I am starting to believe that what happened was a good thing. Why? you may ask.
    If this had not happened I would not be here typing this. I would not have become a Muslim, I would not have started reading the Quran, and I would not have met some of the most wonderful people that I have ever encountered.

    Back to the question. I believe that if BOTH people have Love, in their hearts and they can see what is within their Spouse's heart, age is of little consequence in marriage.

    Older men have already lived the life of the young. They are more stable, and most are wiser. Not saying that a devout young person does not have wisdom, many do, and make good spouses.

    With the help and guideance of Allah :saw2: nothing is insurmountable in a Marriage, or choosing a life partner, be it Age, differences of opinion or other matters.

    :wasalam:
    Robin

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