Will i ever find peace :'(

[Tasnima Khan]

As Salaam Wa Aliakum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu brothers and sisters in Islam, i need some help if you don't mind. Basically i have had deppression in the past and to an extent where i cut myself and stuff and sometimes i still get stressed out really quick i find things hard t cope with if i hear something about Islam and that im not doing it, it makes me feel really bad and my heart starts ounding and stuff and all sorts of stuff go through my mind. These few weeks i have been feeling really down and stuff and i have took 5 sleeping tablets at once just to make my self try and sleep over it to try n forget but as soon as i wake u i feel worse. I cannot help it another thing which is bugging me recently is that when i watch Islamic lectures a thing comes in my mind making me think oh am i listening to the right person or is this person good or is the otehr lecturer more better than this one islamically so basically im comparing lecturers and thinking that one is better than another in terms of islamic knowledge and i fear that im listening to the wrong ones and that i will get punished for it since im listening to that one instead of the other one who is better in knowledge probably. If anyone is curious, i really love to listen to Nouman Ali Khan i love his lectures and the way he talks and explains things and i feel such peace at my heart when i listen to them, but then i have read some articles and stuff which make me confused by saying that you have to be careful where you get your information from as the person you are getting from has to be very good and pious and has to have quite a lot of things and now im really scared. I keep on having this feeling like im doing something wrong and that i will go in the hellfire for following these people who i love to hear lectures from and i feel peace in my heart and my love for Islam grows. Can someone please tell me whats wrong with me am i going to go hellfire !!!!! i seriously have this urge of overdosing myself when these things happen so please someone help me :'(

 

[sister herb]

---------------------------------------------

 

[kashif_nazeer]

Wa 'alaikumassalam warahmatullahi ta'ala wabarakatuhu,Sister,
I would suggest you visit a doctor for the depression of yours, it seems severe.Also take the medication which he/she suggests.Sleep often,do not stay awake much insha'Allah.Insomnia can increase this depression.
There are many people going through this phase nowadays and do not hesitate to get medical attention insha'Allah.
Read Qur'an more often and attach it to your heart.Let your thoughts flow free,do not constraint them in boundaries,.If crying helps,cry to Allah.It does release a burden.
Have good hope in Allah and do not despairs for no one despairs of relief in Allah except a disbeliever.
Also recite this du'a often :

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) taught us a du'aa' by which we may ward off worries and distress. Ahmad (3528) narrated that 'Abd-Allaah ibn Mas'ood said: The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

"There is no-one who is afflicted by distress and grief, and says:

'Allaahumma inni 'abduka ibn 'abdika ibn amatika naasyati bi yadika, maada fiyya hukmuka, 'adlun fiyya qadaa'uka. As'aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw 'allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista'tharta bihi fi 'ilm il-ghayb 'indaka an taj'al al-Qur'aana rabee' qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa' huzni wa dhihaab hammi

but Allaah will take away his distress and grief, and replace it with joy." He was asked: "O Messenger of Allaah, should we learn this?" He said: "Of course; everyone who hears it should learn it."

Translation:
O Allaah, I am Your slave,
son of Your slave,
son of Your maidservant;
my forelock is in Your hand,
Your command over me is forever executed and
Your decree over me is just.
I ask You by every name belonging to You
which You have named Yourself with, or
revealed in Your Book, or
You taught to any of Your creation, or
You have preserved in the knowledge of the Unseen with You,
that You make the Qur'aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and
a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety.
<font color="#008000">[video=youtube;4JQfqaUhy-g]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JQfqaUhy-g[/video]
May Allah replace your griefs with joy and hardships with ease.Ameen.

 

[muhammad sabri]

:salam2:

My dear sister my eyes are wet, oh my dear sister the sweetness given to your heart when you listen to the lecturer is surely a halal sweetness, don't listen to anyone when you have to decide about these matters except two to be always in the straight path: THE QURAN AND THE SUNNAH, i also listen to sheikh Nouman and i think that he's a good muslim and what he says is according the Quran and the Sunnah and ANYONE who says something else must come with proofs FROM QURAN AND SUNNAH! Oh my dear sister think of what Allah(swt) has given you and what He(swt) stillw ant to give you in the akhira, i can sense from yuor words that you love Allah and the deen and His Rasul and The light that He bestowed upon us all, oh my dear sister always always always have hope in Allah(swt) oh my dear sister, i feel like i'm stabbed in the heart when i read your words and you think that ALLAH WHO IS ARHAM AL RAHIMIIN(THE MOST MERCIFUL AMONG THE MERCIFUL) WOULDN'T LOVE YOU MORE THAN I AS ASIMPLE HUMAN COULD EVE DO? THE ANSWER IS YES!! i love you for the sake of Allah(swt) and Allah(swt) love you more for He is al Wadud!! Just do one thing to feel at ease: don't just see Allah(swt) for His punishment but mostly and also for His Rahma beacuase whenAllah CREATED EVERYTHING HE SAID!!!: '' I SHALL MAKE MY RAHMA(MERCY) SURPASS MY WRATH''...i love you..and Allah loves you so do one more last thing..love your self and give your self the rights that it deserves and bathe your soul in the Light of Allah who is the light of the heavens and the earth, the compassionate, the merciful,the peace,the light, the forgiving, the large in giving, the patient, the protector..Allah...

....
wajazakallahu khairan

 

[a_stranger]

As Salaam Wa Aliakum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu brothers and sisters in Islam, i need some help if you don't mind. Basically i have had deppression in the past and to an extent where i cut myself and stuff and sometimes i still get stressed out really quick i find things hard t cope with if i hear something about Islam and that im not doing it, it makes me feel really bad and my heart starts ounding and stuff and all sorts of stuff go through my mind. These few weeks i have been feeling really down and stuff and i have took 5 sleeping tablets at once just to make my self try and sleep over it to try n forget but as soon as i wake u i feel worse. I cannot help it another thing which is bugging me recently is that when i watch Islamic lectures a thing comes in my mind making me think oh am i listening to the right person or is this person good or is the otehr lecturer more better than this one islamically so basically im comparing lecturers and thinking that one is better than another in terms of islamic knowledge and i fear that im listening to the wrong ones and that i will get punished for it since im listening to that one instead of the other one who is better in knowledge probably. If anyone is curious, i really love to listen to Nouman Ali Khan i love his lectures and the way he talks and explains things and i feel such peace at my heart when i listen to them, but then i have read some articles and stuff which make me confused by saying that you have to be careful where you get your information from as the person you are getting from has to be very good and pious and has to have quite a lot of things and now im really scared. I keep on having this feeling like im doing something wrong and that i will go in the hellfire for following these people who i love to hear lectures from and i feel peace in my heart and my love for Islam grows. Can someone please tell me whats wrong with me am i going to go hellfire !!!!! i seriously have this urge of overdosing myself when these things happen so please someone help me :'(

Assalamu alaikim wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh

Dear sister, you are not the only one who feels that way. It is very nice to have a sensitive heart but be careful the shaitan may step in to disturb your faith.......spend more time with Quran : Quran clarify the mist of hearts..., try to pray with a heart.....do all the good you can .....study seera : life of our prophet sale Allah alaihi wa sallam ........don't worry Allah is most loving and merciful. Try to find good muslem sister or sisters to spend sometime studying Islam .

 

[Asja]

Assalamu allaicum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu

As other brothers and sisters has already adviced you dear sister that we should first rely on help of Allah, but we should also not forget that for some things medical help is aslo neccessery.

You should look imidiately fo medical help dear sister,and talk with psychiatrist to take adequate therapy, as any kind of ilness, in your case emotional disorder, must be imidately treated , as more time it pass it can only get worst,and it can pass to chronic disease which is much more harder to hill. That is very dangerous ilness sister,and you should imidately take medical help InshAllah.

InshAllah you should also try to pray salah on time because Allah subhanahu wa teala sais to us " And seek help in patience and As-Salat (the prayer) and truly it is extremely heavy and hard except for Al-Khashi'un [i.e. the true believers in Allah - those who obey Allah with full submission, fear much from His Punishment, and believe in His Promise (Paradise, etc.) and in His Warnings (Hell, etc.)".

Also sister try to ocupy yourself always with something, do some exercise or sport activities, talk with your sister, mother,father, and persons close to you to whom you can trust and express your feelings and worries.

May Allah help you and all of us,and Allah is The Only and The Best Helper.

 

[shizuo]

Asalamualaikum..can a newbie like share his thoughts? 2nd post ehh?

My dear Tasnima Khan, like the other brothers and sisters advice and thoughts are so true. Sensitive hearts like mine . Selawat my sister selawat as many as you can. Allah HUma Salih Ala Saidina Muhammad . Istifar as many as you can.

I am a malaysian born muslim, not practising from the begining tho..but yeah it was after some times long time ago. Been studied with few gurus. Knows a lot of stuff InsyaAllah..but still theres time..when i just got this feeling same like you. And im a guy...still goes on my knees like ive done something really bad..

and i start selawat as many as i can. Solat taubat 2 rakaat and musahabah my self like 10 minutes or less...Alhamdulilah im good as it is..InsyaAllah. Have faith in Allah. have faith.

thank you

 

[IHearIslam]

Wa'alaykum salaam warahmatullah wabarakatuh dearest Sister in Islam,

may Allah soften our hearts!
Ukhti, I went through the same thing you went through about a month or two ago. It was only through the help of Allah that I got over the depression! I also advice you to get professional help, I combined both! When I was at my worst, I performed two ra'akats and cried my eyes out to Allah ta'ala. I was to a point where I wanted to end my life, but after I prayed, I felt a sense of relief. I was given happiness and a sound heart out of no where. Allah works wonders! Trust in Him and ask Him to always guide you to the path of truth. I am not perfect, I still make mistakes, I still commit crimes against my nafs, but knowing that Allah is the most kind, oft-forgiving and the one who accepts repentance, I always go back to Him and ask of Him. The shaytan is whispering to you when he says you're going to hell and stuff, do not listen. Keep doing what you're doing at the moment (Islamic lectures and Quran wise) do not overdose yourself or hurt yourself in anyway! TALK TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS, let them know what you're going through, DON'T KEEP THIS TO YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!! If it gets worse, GET IMMEDIATE HELP! but do not forget to keep on making to DUA---remember it is the weapon of the believers! USE IT TO YOUR BENEFIT! I will iA keep you in my duas! May Allah ta'ala, the healer, the bestower of all good help you get through this. May Allah ta'ala, the most kind, the most merciful bestow his mercy upon your soul and grant you recover. May Allah always keep your heart healthy and pure and may He forever give you the patience and faith to stand through ANYTHING! Ameen Ya Malikul Mulk!

 

[Tasnima Khan]

My dearest brothers and sisters in Islam, i cannot tell you how touched i am by all of your words, just hearing your words and reading them has provided me with peace and solace, just waiting for that final peace which can only come to me through Allah's grace and mercy Insha'Allah, and thank you sooooooooooo much for remembering to keep me in your duas, may Allah(swt) bestow his infinite mercy on you all and keep you steadfast on this beautiful deen and also help you all if you have problems and hardships and listen and respond to your duas. Ramadan Mubarak to everyone! May Allah(swt) soothe your hearts aswell as all those who are suffering Insha'Allah.