Would you consider?

Discussion in 'TurnToIslam Lounge !' started by slaveofAllah88, Mar 4, 2012.

?

Would you consider them for marriage?

  1. Yes

    12 vote(s)
    42.9%
  2. No

    8 vote(s)
    28.6%
  3. Maybe

    8 vote(s)
    28.6%
  1. slaveofAllah88
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    slaveofAllah88 Slave of Allah (swt)

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    :salam2:

    This question is more for brothers and maybe sisters can take part considering for their brothers/sons/male relatives

    So my question is would you consider such sisters for marriage??

    These sisters, have a good heart, don't talk to boys, prays, have good manners, very good ikhlaq, respectful, kind in simple terms Alhumdulilah all the good qualities from inside

    BUT, they don't observe hijab, and tend to wear sleeveless shirts (but cover them with transparent cloth)

    What is your answer

    :wasalam:
  2. Al-bint
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    Al-bint Smile! It's Sunnah!

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    SalaamOalaikum

    well i would decide my choice according to my brother's choice. However it seems to me that however good mannered, simple she might be, she's not so for the sake of Allah which in an important criterion(Allah knows best!). Rest you might be reason for them to change (by you i mean whoever does marry them)...

    wasalaam!
  3. slaveofAllah88
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    slaveofAllah88 Slave of Allah (swt)

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    :salam2:

    JazakAllah khair for your response, and you know when i came to Pakistan thats how i felt, then i started observing people more and asking especially in my relatives, I feel like there is a lack of understanding among people, due to the corruption in knowledge, and also the religious leaders (so called) people have misunderstood hijab and its importance, things have become culture and changed ....

    Wallahu Alam,

    :wasalam:
  4. Hajjerr
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    Hajjerr He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram

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    salam aleikum

    what i would say is, if she is so good in all other aspects maybe the one that wants to marry can find out the reason behind her not wearing hijab and if she will be willing to change this aspect too with some help, because we all have our shortcomings and Allah knows the intentions...all changes come from inside, where the heart and character is.
    may Allah make things easy.

    :salam2:
  5. slaveofAllah88
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    slaveofAllah88 Slave of Allah (swt)

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    :salam2:

    JazakAllah khair, very wise response, May Allah (swt) bless u - ameen
  6. Abdul25
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    Abdul25 Logical Believer

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    I said Yes. :p
  7. slaveofAllah88
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    slaveofAllah88 Slave of Allah (swt)

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    Lol bhai why wud u say yes :p

    PS : i know lol tujhe no ata hi nhn
  8. Al-bint
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    Al-bint Smile! It's Sunnah!

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    yes india or pak, this is the case in both the places! if you talk to sis abt hijab, they'll be like "why always women?" or "Purity should be within the heart!" . they still somehow lack the basic understanding of faith!

    wasalaam!
  9. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam walaikum,

    My question is to the brothers: Marriage is half your deen. Your mate is like for like.

    The girls you describe would need to have the willingness to follow the faith and learn about Islam.
  10. strive-may-i
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    strive-may-i Junior Member

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    Walaikum Salaam wa rahmathullaahi wabarakaathuh

    I fear it sends the wrong message. Painting the whole town red.... :)
    Its as good as saying all whites are not believers. From each region we can arrive at a set of stereotypical shortcomings.

    There are some parts of world where every few square kilometers there is a change. There is a change from house to next house. If we have seen one part, it does not mean we can speak about the other part. If we have been there for one season, it does not mean we can accurately tell how the other season is. And people from these regions carry their home wherever they go. If one visits any immigrant house in Europe/America, its evident...

    To connect easily think Europe. Think of number of languages in europe. Think of all the differences they had and they still have, the resentment some regions there show to outside culture.. . And now add more variety and more people, lot of religions, a lot of tolerance, that's sub continent...

    Step down, it needs a lifetime to arrive at conclusion that reflect reality there...

    Cant still fathom? just do this, observe the contributors in TTI forum...

    Yet still clueless?
    Then stop being reporter who paints the whole country/region red, after visiting a town or two. Just report where you saw it, because the onus to protect and prevent negative image, falls on reporter/narrator... Thats a tough job, embrace carefully :)

    Peace.
  11. slaveofAllah88
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    slaveofAllah88 Slave of Allah (swt)

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    :salam2:

    SubhanAllah u hit the nail on the head right there this line which seems to extremely annoy me these days

    "Purity should be within the heart!"
    in my relatives if i tell the elders u know your kid shud do hijab or do this, their immediate response is purity should be in the heart and then a long list of people who do hijab or niqab and are involve in wrong things ..... idk why they care so much about other act focus on yours

    @strive-may-i, good point we cant paint everyone the same color but this seems to be the generalization
  12. finding light
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    finding light Ya Rab! Forgive me..

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    :salam2:
    AYE! AYE!
    Fully agree...

    What a lot of women who wear hijab (not all) do not understand is where this girl is from. We grow up in our culture, in our tradition... it is only later on once we are fully mature and able to think for ourselves that we look at our life and say - hang on a sec, thats not right. But lest you should go against what your parents and relatives practice! There are a lot of muslim families all around the world (not only the suncontinent) that belong to a culture where hijab is not practiced and sometimes (just sometimes) it isnt easy for girls to start wearing hijab when their mothers dont even! In some cultures, she is "extremist" "fundamentalist" or *shocking* a "wahabbi".
    So before sisters (or brothers, but mainly sisters) go around judging other women for not wearing hijab, just remember that everyone has their own situation they have to deal with. Of course, the stronger their relationship with Allah, the easier it is but it really honestly does not make her a bad Muslim, especially if she prays and has pure heart and intentions.

    And for the brothers, this is something that can change in a woman. If a man marries a girl who doesnt wear hijab, it doesnt mean she will be like that till death. I have seen a lot of ladies in my community who have put on hijab at the age of 60! And with the right appoaches to a wife, a husband can encourage his wife in a way that is most undersandable for her.
    If she has a good heart, if she is modest and shy (which comes with learning about how to be a woman in Islam) and not arrogant and proud, what problem would she possibly have if her prince asked her to wrap herself up for Allah?
  13. finding light
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    finding light Ya Rab! Forgive me..

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    It's a very valid arguement. Hijab is for Allah and for yourself. Not for people to see.
    If someone accuses a non-hijabi for not practising Islam, why cant she accuse hijabis the same (if its true)?

    You just summed it all up right here. If you can tell a person who says "A long list of people who do hijab or niqab and are involve in wrong things" to focus on themselves, why can they not tell you (not YOU but you know what i mean) the same thing???

    In case anyone runs to conclusion, I am 100% for hijab and I wear hijab. This arguement has been on TTI many times.
    It is NOT A REFLECTION of her character and it most definitely is not set in stone.
    A brother should take a step further to look at her deen inside - yes - inside bfore just not marrying because she doesnt do hijab.
    Marry her and MAKE her do hijab.
  14. finding light
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    finding light Ya Rab! Forgive me..

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    Just a concluding thought.

    Wearing hijab doesnt make a girl a good Muslim. It only makes her a Muslim.

    And quite frankly speaking a girl who puts on hijab after she never wore it before probably understands its significance a LOT mORE and does it for the right reason (for Allah) than ones wearing from the age of 12.
    P.S. Im not saying its right not to wear hijab from 12, im only making a point to answer the question of the thread.
  15. slaveofAllah88
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    slaveofAllah88 Slave of Allah (swt)

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    aslam o alaikum
    JazakAllah khair sister finding light, you mentioned alot of good points
  16. kashif_nazeer
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    kashif_nazeer ~~~Alhamdulillah~~~

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    :salam2:

    Bhai,I voted No,because that was my instant response :redface: .

    It's on top of my list :D "MUST wear hijab".
    Observing hijab for women is obligatory in front of non mahram men and is a command of Allah.

    Wallahu 'aalam,but when someone is not comfortable in hijab or feels out of place in it.That can tell a bit about "serious" commitment with respect to Islam,bhai, the stage of action has to be reached when you start practicing religion,it shows as well.I do agree with other things that are said,there might be something preventing one ,inside oneself or outside,that might be hindering them from wearing hijab,but that inshaAllah can be fixed ,yeah.It would be easier if the sister is already committed to Islam and wears a hijab.When someone becomes your wife,then they are family and we being head of family are responsible for the flock.Then in order to carry out that responsiility,we have to keep telling them about this thing and reminding them,this might lead to tensions in the relation between husband and wife,in the future.No compromise on hijab,not one bit.Bro most important thing,for me, is commitment towards religion.EVERYTHING else is secondary.
  17. bmw540i
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    bmw540i Junior Member

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    Salaams


    I voted yes.The reason for that is you cannot judge how a person will turn out in the future.Allah gives hidayah.With love and care you will grow into each other do not be too judgemental form the beginning.Time alone will tell nature them and they will bloom.
  18. muslimshabs
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    muslimshabs Junior Member

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    walaikum salaam...

    If you say sister got "ALL" the above qualities... :) then "yes". But to tell you the truth it is almost impossible to find all the above qualities in a sister, and if you find them in any sister then she must be aware of hijab also, or would need a single verse or hadith, she might not be aware of, to make her to cover herself..,

    wasalaam...
  19. al-fajr
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    al-fajr ...ism..schism Staff Member

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    Its true that wearing a hijaab isn't necessarily a measure of ones inner condition but it indicates a certain state of being and proves that a particular aspect of ones existence is in accordance with and conscience of Allaah's commands - indicates this, yes.

    And you can't be the judge of the reasons why people wear it and the extent of their understanding, so best not to tread into that area I think?

    Allaahu'alam.

    Wa-salam
  20. hayat84
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    hayat84 I'm not what you believe

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    :salam2:
    voted "maybe" because not every girl is the same.before getting married I too wore short-sleeved t-shirt,didn't wear hijab.but I was shy,honest,full of attention os for my fiancè and even if I didn't pray I believed in God.things changed when I knew Islam better,and I in someway emproved myself,being myself in another way to live.Allah helped me to find my way,maybe a good boy can teach how to be a better girl.:)

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