Your advise is needed.

[Sulikha]

:salam2:

Let me tell you a little about this story before my qoustion. A friend of mine who I met through someone 7 years ago. she is very nice and good person in any other ways but most of her talk include backbiting Walahi I hate it I try to stop or say have patient or try to forgive anyway, there are two times that I try to cutoff her relationship she understood and never give up she used to call me every other day just to salaam and then on I told myself she will change and nothing changed. I try to remind her death and hereafter it works for short time. Here is my Question.

What should I do Keep her relationship and try to make her stop the backbiting, for as long I can help her Or should I not do that for listing the one who backbite is same as the one who done it for fearing this great sin should I cutoff her relationship, And How could I do that?

keep in mind her husband is friend of my husband too, and he is not like that .

 

[Jihan]

I person believe you should tell each time that she speaks about one person to have that person come at that moment and to tell their side of the story. Then see i she is still willing yo talk badly or if she'll change the story. I f the person cannot come at the moment you should tell or to save her story for later or let her tell it and bring it up one the person comes and say "so what were you saying earlier about so and so..."


Desperate times call for desperate measures.

 

[IslamIsLight]

salam
If u see the people backbitting u should try to stop them
If u can not stop them u should dislike it or change the subject,or just leave...
I have the same problem with one of my friends I was struggling for her to change ,nothing helps and I'm loosing my patience.May be the best way just say everything straight to the face,I don't know I need advise also....
salam

 

[halah]

:salam2:
I had the same problem not only with a freind but with most of them and I tried to be more active since I don't want to waste my few good deeds and that was by telling her that Idon't want to know or by leaving the place and believe me Allah (SWT) will help you.It might be beneficial to remind her of some of the prophetic Haieths about backbiting and its sever punishment:

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, "He who believes in Allah and the Last Day must either speak good or remain silent.''
[Muslim].

Abu Musa Al-Ash`ari (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I asked the Messenger of Allah (PBUH): "Who is the most excellent among the Muslims?'' He said, "One from whose tongue and hands the other Muslims are secure.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].


Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I heard the Prophet (PBUH) saying, "A person utters a word thoughtlessly (i.e., without thinking about its being good or not) and, as a result of this, he will fall down into the fire of Hell deeper than the distance between the east and the west.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, "A man utters a word pleasing to Allah without considering it of any significance for which Allah exalts his ranks (in Jannah); another one speaks a word displeasing to Allah without considering it of any importance, and for this reason he will sink down into Hell.''
[Al-Bukhari].

Sufyan bin `Abdullah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I asked: "O Messenger of Allah! Tell me, of something to which I may remain steadfast.'' He (PBUH) said, "Say: My Rubb is Allah and then remain steadfast.'' Then I said: "O Messenger of Allah! What do you fear most about me?'' He took hold of his own tongue and said: "This.''
[At-Tirmidhi].


Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "He whom Allah saves from the evil of that which is between his jaws and the evil of that which is between his legs will enter Jannah.''
[At-Tirmidhi].



Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (PBUH) said, "When the son of Adam gets up in the morning, all the limbs humble themselves before the tongue and say: `Fear Allah for our sake because we are with you: (i.e., we will be rewarded or punished as a result of what you do) if you are straight, we will be straight; and if you are crooked, we will become crooked.'''
[At-Tirmidhi].


Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Do you know what is backbiting?'' The Companions said: "Allah and His Messenger know better.'' Thereupon he said, "Backbiting is talking about your (Muslim) brother in a manner which he dislikes.'' It was said to him: "What if my (Muslim) brother is as I say.'' He said, "If he is actually as you say, then that is backbiting; but if that is not in him, that is slandering.''
[Muslim].

Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "During the Mi`raj (the Night of Ascension), I saw a group of people who were scratching their chests and faces with their copper nails. I asked, `Who are these people, O Jibril?' Jibril replied: `These are the people who ate flesh of others (by backbiting) and trampled people's honour.'''

 

[farhopes]

Assalamo alikom

Jazaki Allah khair dear sister, Halah :ma:

I do love you for the sake of Allah. :blackhijab:

 

[halah]

Jazaki Allah khair dear sister, Halah :ma:

I do love you for the sake of Allah. :blackhijab:

:salam2:
By Allah Who's my soul in His hand(wallahi) I love you for the sake of Allah too.
By the way All the previous Hadiths were mentioned in the book Riaad Us Saleheen.

 

[Sulikha]

:salam2:

JazkumuAllahu khayran. all the replies are very helpfull specially sister Hala :ma:

 

[mohsofi_abdullah]

Try and say AstaghfirUllahala'zeem everytime she said something bad
That helped me...

 

[Karima]

Asalamualikum,

You cannot change who she is...Only Allah can if he wills it.

Sallam

 

[jabba]

Salam Alaikum

Sister in the end you choose your friends, you do not like her actions and you've told her that already. Yet you still are friends with her, you listen to her when she backbits instead of taking yourself out of that situation. She may backbit but sister your allowing it

 

[mymohsin]

:salam2:

Let me tell you a little about this story before my qoustion. A friend of mine who I met through someone 7 years ago. she is very nice and good person in any other ways but most of her talk include backbiting Walahi I hate it I try to stop or say have patient or try to forgive anyway, there are two times that I try to cutoff her relationship she understood and never give up she used to call me every other day just to salaam and then on I told myself she will change and nothing changed. I try to remind her death and hereafter it works for short time. Here is my Question.

What should I do Keep her relationship and try to make her stop the backbiting, for as long I can help her Or should I not do that for listing the one who backbite is same as the one who done it for fearing this great sin should I cutoff her relationship, And How could I do that?

keep in mind her husband is friend of my husband too, and he is not like that .

Salam Sister,

I think sister this is one of the most common problem today we are facing and to my lil knowledge I think u should keep ur friendship with her and try to stop her as if u cut ur friendship with her she will continue with her backbitting with other company as in today's world its easy to find a bad company then a good one and if u c that her backbitting habit is influencing u also then it will be better to stop that friendship for tha sake of Allah. Insha allah Allah will reward u. And sis onemore thing when ever u meet with her talk about religion discuse about Islam it will automatically keep u both away from it. This helped me alot. Rest Allah knows the best.

Allah Hafiz.

 

[Sulikha]

Salam Alaikum

Sister in the end you choose your friends, you do not like her actions and you've told her that already. Yet you still are friends with her, you listen to her when she backbits instead of taking yourself out of that situation. She may backbit but sister your allowing it

This is realy scary sister, that is what I think sometimes. Also, I just don't listen only, I tell her to be forgiving and patient, But still I think you may be right. O Allah guide us all.

JazakaAllah.

 

[Sulikha]

Salam Sister,

I think sister this is one of the most common problem today we are facing and to my lil knowledge I think u should keep ur friendship with her and try to stop her as if u cut ur friendship with her she will continue with her backbitting with other company as in today's world its easy to find a bad company then a good one and if u c that her backbitting habit is influencing u also then it will be better to stop that friendship for tha sake of Allah. Insha allah Allah will reward u. And sis onemore thing when ever u meet with her talk about religion discuse about Islam it will automatically keep u both away from it. This helped me alot. Rest Allah knows the best.

Allah Hafiz.

JazakaAllah,

 

[Globalpeace]

Personality Traits!

Asslamo Allaikum,

If a person is in the habit of talking to you about someone else,

Chances are,

You are the topic of conversation with someone else!

Think about it, deeply.

Make it clear in no uncecrtain terms that YOU DO NOT want to be part of a conversation concerning other-people, Insha'Allah.

Allah (SWT) might guide them & take them away from this dispicable habit or turn them away from you...Eitherway is Khair (good), Insha'Allah

May Allah (SWT) save me, my family & the whole Ummah from Gheeba, Buhtaan & Nameemah (Ameen).