Advice welcome

Bridget

Member
Salam Aleikum
Hello everyone, my name is Bridget. I recently converted in March 2013. I've known for almost a year now that this was what I wanted to do and that it was right. I have found so much peace and reassurance in Islam that I never had before.
My only problem is telling my family, especially my dad. See I was raised Catholic in my early years and Baptist after my mom died. My dad is a very strict in his religion, I tried telling him that I was thinking about converting in January but he freaked out on me and told me he didn't want to see me or talk to me. It lasted for about a week and he eventually talked to me, but I'm afraid this time when I tell him that he will cut all ties with me for good now that I did convert.
I need some advise on how I should tell him. I don't really think telling him in person would be a good idea because he has a temper but I don't know what other way to do it. Or if there's anything I could do to possibly make this easier for him to accept. I've been praying about this since I converted and I feel bad every time I talk to my dad because I feel like I'm hiding who I really am from him now.
Any advice is welcomed!
 

Janaan

ربنا اغفر لنا ذنوبنا
Staff member
wa`alaikum salaam warahmatullaahi wabarakaatuh!

:SMILY206:

Welcome, dear sister, to Islaam and the forums as well! :) Alhamdulillaah, Allaah has opened up your heart to Islaam. We're happy to have you here with us.

I'm so very sorry to hear that your dad is against your reversion. I imagine it's not easy. But all I can say is be patient with him, dear. No parent wants to know that their own flesh and blood wants to go a separate path from them. Don't tell him just yet because he might not react any different than he did the last time.

Try to speak with him about Islaam. Tell him a few things you've learned so far, conversationally though. Share stories about what the prophets and his companions with him (like the hardships they suffered and all the sad stuff because he might sympathize with them and that is a way better reaction than anger, no?). Buy him a lovely book about Islaam. Try to pull him in slowly.

If this doesn't seem to work, just show him by your actions. They do say your "actions speak louder than words" :) So try to always portray the character of a good Muslimah in front him to the best of your abilities. Be dutiful to him! It might be hard and frustrating at times but answer any of his anger and harsh words directed towards you with no less than love. Try to always keep a smile on your face in his presence. Cook and clean for him. Kiss his head. Call him a few times during the day just to say hello.

But most importantly, make sincere du`aa for him, sister.
May Allaah show him the true path!

Btw, what about the rest of your family...are they ok with you being a Muslim?

And we have a lot of members here who've reverted before you and are still having trouble convincing their parents to, not even accept Islaam themselves, but to just accept the fact that they've reverted. Members like brother Uniqueskates, sister Aida1, and sister Koke, just to name a few.
Let's hope they reply because they're more familiar with your situation so their advice would be way better than mine.

Stay strong, inshaa'Allaah! =)
 

Bridget

Member
Thank you for your advise sister. I'll try doing what you said and just slowly introduce Islam into our conversations. As for the rest of my family a few of them that know have stopped talking to me completely because they think I'm a bad person now. My family is very close minded so I just don't know how to talk to most of them without getting angry with them.
 

Hassan

Laa ilaha ilaa Allah
Staff member
wa alaikum asalaam.

Alhamdulillah. Welcome new Sister. Welcome to the fold of Islam, and Welcome to TTI.

How you tell your father is something only you can best decide on. You know where he gets his information from, try to appreciate how different his view of our religion may be. Maybe a lot of useful information can soften his heart, but also be aware there may be no gentle way. In my opinion, only if you really fear he would cut off contact permanently should you not tell him. In my opinion, it is better for him to know but never speak of it again than not to know at all.

When you do speak to him, do not pick holes in his beliefs, rather concentrate on the similarities. Jesus (peace be upon him) is a prophet in Islam too, and belief in him and his message is an article of faith, although our understanding of that message is different. Also speak of family values, giving to the poor, behaving with decency and honesty. You father may realise you have not spawned two extra heads and a tail, in sha Allah.

Parents do not, generally, like to be lectured by their children. If such a person exists, if there is an older person around who is more open, try speaking to them first. They may illustrate some points of difficulty for your father which you had not thought of, and may even become a help when you do tell him. You say you do not know how to talk to most of your family, maybe start with those you do know how to talk to?

Keep praying, may Allah swt protect you and keep you strong.

Salaam alaikum
 

um muhammad al-mahdi

لا اله الا الله محمد رسول الله
Staff member
Assalamu Alaykum sister,

Welcome to TurnToIslam mashallah!

Sister.. Be you! Your father might have understood you have become Muslim anyway - parents understand their kids mashallah and very well. Do not push too much the conversation, take your time to learn the religion of Islam and do not feel guilty of 'hiding' :) - It's always you sister, it's always 'Bridget' just an 'even better one' ;)

Jazakillahu khayran
 

MaroccanSister

Allah ma3a sabirien♥
Wa 3aleykoem Asalaam,

Sister I understand your father very well.
It's hard if your kid converts and you think that your
religion is the best for her. And I understand your fear as
well but it's better to tell him, you can't hide it forever.
I should show him the agreements between the Islam and Catholicism.
And tell him that the Islam is very peaceful.
And step by step share your knowledge about the Islam
with him. And I understand that it's hard what you're going trough.
But don't forget that Allah Soubhana Wa Ta'ala is with those who are patient.
May Allah facilitate it for you sister. Allahoema Ameen.
 

a_stranger

Junior Member
Dear sister try to show him the bright side in your personality after converting by treating him in the best way you can , by doing so two goals are achieved more reward from Allah and the pleasure of your father.
 

Dawah

New Member
I'm a revert of 20 years and it's still a struggle with family. The more you talk about Islam, the more stern in disbelief non Muslims get. My best advice is to give them more Kitmah, be a good person yourself and making strong duahs after salat that they accept Islam as a way of life for themselves.
 
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