Assalamu alaikum wa rahmtullahi wa barakatuh brother Cabdixakim
First of all I am sorry for being over passionate in my discussion. Whatever the case, I should have the patience to listen to others.
Secondly, your last two questions are forcing me to have a deeper look into this matter. I am now reading tafsir of Surah al-maeda from Amin Ahsan Islahi, who is a teacher of Javed Ahmed Ghamidi. He has a different opinion than Ghamidi and my first impression is, that it is more agreeable.
The decisive question is, can we take ahli kitaab of today our awliya? My latest understanding is, that the main addressees of the verses we have been discussing were people with nifaaq in their hearts. When they used to meet jews, they would reassure them, that their basic faithfulness belongs to them. They were afraid, what would happen to them, if muslims are subdued by another force, say, jews or mushrikun. In other words, their association to Allah, the Prophet and the believers was not of the nature, that they would live and die with them. My "latest" understanding is, that it is that kind of "basic faithfulness", which defines, who is your wali. It's a question of "us and them". If somebody can stand with any other people besides Allah and the Prophet and the believers as "us" and has the courage to say about believers, let that happen to "them", then of course he belongs to those people. If you ask me exclusively, whether we are allowed to take any other people besides Allah and the Prophet and the believers as our Awliya in the same sense as the mufiqun had taken jews their awliya, then my answer can be nothing else than a clear "No". Our faithfulness must remain with Allah and his Prophet and the believers.
On the other hand, it has nothing to do with being kind, just, friendly and "altruist". Altruism is a virtue, which is not exclusive to christianity. It is our common heritage. I think, this was my basic difficulty.
Let me study it a little more and I will inshaAllah answer all your 3 questions.
Wassalamu alaikum.