birthday of non muslim daughter??

hi everyone i converted to Islam in May last year 2009 my family who are non muslim are very against me for this (ie think new husband who is muslim brainwashed me!)they are ashamed of me as i wear Hijab the main problem im having at the moment and would like advice on is its my daughters 19th birthday next friday and i had agreed to take her for a meal ( may i just say relations were just getting back a bit on a better footing since she had to leave the home when my new husband moved in due to her outrageouse behaviour towards me and my new husband at the time) but she wanted to go to a resteraunt/bar in town and although i would not drink she is insisting that its her birthday and she can have alcohol if she wants at the same table i have therefore said i can no longer go to this venue but i would take her to another venue with no alcohol but this has caused another outburts from her of the most obscene language etc i dont know what to do my husband is also from different culture and says they would disown a child that treated its mother in this way but i am very soft person and dont seem to be able to say no to her please help i want to do whats right for everyone but especially i want to please Allah(peace and blessings be upon him) hope this all made sense and didn,t seem to trivial sorry.