Boyfriend/Girlfriend in Islam?

[Shamim56]

Assalamualakum

Hi i have a question

Well i am in school and i know a girl that i just talk to you know joke around always nothing more.

The issue came when i heard you cant be friends with girls? Correct me if im wrong

I only do one thing with the girl and that is talk and joke around as i would never go beyond that im not like other guy's that are totally obsessed with women. Wustaqfirullah i would never put myself in a situation where it goes beyond talking etc...

So my question is the typical girlfriend image is

*Kissing
*hanging out
*love without intention to marriage
*Going to place together holding hands
(Wustaqfirullah)

I do not do any of those with her nor do i have the intention. So my question is, Is this still Haram i cant talk to them at all? Whats the limit.

Jazakallah Khairan

P.S- The only time i heard you are aloud to have a girlfriend etc..is when you have the intention to marry and cant be for intercourse etc... By the way this doesnt apply to this girl im just wondering this is what i heard my brother say
Is this true?


And Allah Knows best

 

[ahmed_indian]

in Islam, boy-girl can talk to each other 1) when necessary and 2) in presence of others.

as u said brother, u joke with her...its not allowed.

maybe u r not inclined towards her now, but are you sure that it cant happen after some time? are you sure that she might not start liking (or loving) you?
what after that then?

will you really be OK if some guy will be laughing, joking with ur sister? no... right!
wont u feel jealous if ur wife-to-be had a same frnd like you?

shaitan is more clever than us in throwing us into traps. try to avoid unnecessary tensions and problems which might come up ahead.

may Allah save us all

was salaam

 

[Shamim56]

Assalamualakum and...

Thank you brother so the only way i can talk to her is when its necessary andpresence of others?

If so...Well... i guess i can understand (Makes me feel sad she was like a normal person just to talk to and laugh )

the last question,The only time i heard you are aloud to have a girlfriend etc..is when you have the intention to marry and cant be for intercourse etc... By the way this doesnt apply to this girl im just wondering this is what i heard my brother say
Is this true?

Please still give your views on the main topic though...

 

[islamdonlyway]

walikumsalam

as brother ahmed said that we can only talk to girls when its necssocery is far as you can go with a girl, thers no such thing as jokeing around with a girl as she can easyly fall in love with you.

brother trust me i was at the same boat as you before and at times i am sometimes, but in reality haveing a girl friend even thow you think you will marry her later on is still haram, as you go out with her,hold hands,kiss etc before marriage is haram so the best thing is if your intrested in a sister just propose to her (by talking to her family) and get married as soon as possible.inshallah thats the best thing you can do.

 

[ahmed_indian]

the last question,The only time i heard you are aloud to have a girlfriend etc..is when you have the intention to marry and cant be for intercourse etc... By the way this doesnt apply to this girl im just wondering this is what i heard my brother say
Is this true?

Please still give your views on the main topic though...

if u want to marry a girl, still u cant make her ur girlfriend. u can only talk with her in presence of her male relatives. if on phone/online, only when its necessary. so brother its not like u can go with her on a date or write love letters to her.

i can understand ur feelings. its hard to avoid talking to a sweet girl or avoiding a girlfriend....but still we have to do it. to earn Allah's pleasure and enjoy in paradise (with lots of beautiful Hoors there )

complete ur studies, get a job and marry a girl which u like!

PS: the temptations are high when young men/women study or work together. thats y scholars tell us to maintain segregation. but our govt/society dont listen to them and we have to suffer brother

 

[IHearIslam]

Assalamu Alaikum brothers and sisters in Islam
aaam, as I was reading this.....I question popped up in my mind.........

Is kissing actually allowed in ISlam:shymuslima1:? I mean in terms of a husband and wife....a Halal marriage?:shymuslima1:

And brother, I think I have been in the same boat as you are now, and it ended up UGLY!!! wallahi, so I would advice you to maybe limit the talk, I know for a fact that it's hard to avoid someone you know and act as if you dont know (avoiding) but maybe its for the best! and Allah ta'ala knows best
JazakaAllah khairan for asking this question, I know it's help for me too

 

[Asja]

i can understand ur feelings. its hard to avoid talking to a sweet girl or avoiding a girlfriend....but still we have to do it. to earn Allah's pleasure and enjoy in paradise (with lots of beautiful Hoors there )
(

:salam2:

I do not understand dear brother " how do you mean that there will be a loot of hoors for Muslim man in Jannah"??? :shymuslima1:I do not belive that is truth SubhanAllah and Allah knows the best.

 

[islamdonlyway]

walikumsalam, yes sister there will be hoors for the men in jannah

(1) In Sura Dukhan:

"Moreover, We shall join them to companions With beautiful, big and lustrous eyes." [Al-Qur’an 44:54]

(2) In Surah Al-Tur

"...And We shall join them to companions, with beautiful, big and lustrous eyes." [Al-Qur’an 52:20]

(3) In Surah Rahman

"Companions restrained (as to their glances), in goodly pavilions." [Al-Qur’an 55:72]

(4) In Surah Al-Waqiah

"And (there will be) companions with beautiful, big and lustrous eyes." [Al-Qur’an 56:22]

5)surah al-rahman

“... Maidens restrained (as to their glances), in (goodly) pavilions;-
... With whom no man or Jinn before them has done "tamth" (broken the hymen)"; [Surah Al-Rahman 55:70,72,74]

According to Ibn Kathir, in his Qur'anic commentary (explanation, exegesis or "tafsir") of the above verse 72: "The Prophet Muhammad [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم] was heard saying: "The smallest reward for the people of Paradise is an abode where there are 80,000 servants and 72 wives, over which stands a dome decorated with pearls, aquamarine, and ruby, as wide as the distance from Al-Jabiyyah [a Damascus suburb] to Sana'a [Yemen]"."

inshallah this will clerify.

 

[Asja]

walikumsalam, yes sister there will be hoors for the men in jannah

Assalamu Allaicum

Jazzak Allah khair dear brother

I know that InshAllah there will be *hoors* for Muslim man in Jannah, but my question was directed on brothers Ahmed_indian statment in which he said "lots of beautiful Hoors there-smile". The accent was on "lots", as Allah is the only One who knows that what is unknown to us Allhamdullilah. But what is known to us is that we should be modest in everything that we do and wish. Indead Allah loves those who are modest and who are His honest servants.

May Allah guide us all.Ameen

 

[ShyHijabi]

Is kissing actually allowed in ISlam? I mean in terms of a husband and wife....a Halal marriage?

"Not one of you should fall upon his wife like an animal; but let there first be a messenger between you." "And what is that messenger?" they asked, and he replied: "Kisses and words." (Daylami)

 

[Asja]

:salam2:

assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

Brother, The Statement you provide was above the limits of a man. You shouldn't be saying things such: "Sweet Girls..." or "Avoiding a Girlfriend". Brother you shouldn't be even talking non-sense such as this. If that girl would be your sister, would you like me saying: "Its hard to avoide that sweet girl"....no right?

You are going off and breaking your own advise into pieces. Think before you say such things. This is a Displeasure of Allah to call sisters: "Sweet...Charming, etc" UNLESS it be your own wife which also should not be stated infront of Strangers.

wassalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

:salam2:

Mashallah dear brother you are so wondefull and pious.

I am proud to be your sister in Islaam, Alhamdulillah. I am sure brother Ahmed-indian meant on diffrente way and that he have respect for sisters Alhamdulillah.

May Allah bless you

 

[zbhotto]

What is the befinit of continuing this discussion

Allah says in Koran, No soul (man, woman) would be left unsatisfied in the Heaven.

 

[lozlg]

Assalam Alaikam everyone. I read this post and I just wondered.. A brother said that It says about there being hoors for muslim men in Jannah. When I read, i always come across the rewards for men in Jannah. Does the Quran mention what there will be for women in Jannah? Sorry Shamim56 don't mean to change the topic. If anyone could pm me the answer, Jazakallah.

 

[BrotherInIslam7]

Assalam Alaikam everyone. I read this post and I just wondered.. A brother said that It says about there being hoors for muslim men in Jannah. When I read, i always come across the rewards for men in Jannah. Does the Quran mention what there will be for women in Jannah? Sorry Shamim56 don't mean to change the topic. If anyone could pm me the answer, Jazakallah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbnGD7zpWJs

 

[Muslim_Gurl]

So this means we can't talk to our bros or sis on TTI.....???

 

[ahmed_indian]

but my question was directed on brothers Ahmed_indian statment in which he said "lots of beautiful Hoors there-smile". The accent was on "lots", as Allah is the only One who knows that what is unknown to us

there will be atleast 2 hoors for each believer in Jannah. and martyrs will have 72 hoors. also scholars says that maybe we will get more as Allah will fulfill all our wishes in Jannah. thats y i used the word "lots".

hope its clarified now.

 

[ahmed_indian]

Brother, The Statement you provide was above the limits of a man. You shouldn't be saying things such: "Sweet Girls..." or "Avoiding a Girlfriend". Brother you shouldn't be even talking non-sense such as this. If that girl would be your sister, would you like me saying: "Its hard to avoide that sweet girl"....no right?

You are going off and breaking your own advise into pieces. Think before you say such things. This is a Displeasure of Allah to call sisters: "Sweet...Charming, etc" UNLESS it be your own wife which also should not be stated infront of Strangers.

sorry brother, maybe i did not use proper words but my intentions were not bad. all i was trying was to advice the other brother to try to avoid being very friendly with the girl. i used those words only to attract the attention of the OP/reader to look into the matter seriously.

I am sure brother Ahmed-indian meant on diffrente way and that he have respect for sisters Alhamdulillah.

yes sister, Alhumdulillah i have full respect for my muslim sisters and did not mean in any way to offend them.

sorry again

 

[ahmed_indian]

So this means we can't talk to our bros or sis on TTI.....???

we can. bcoz we discuss only Islamic issues and dont have fun, jokes with the opposite gender. also here, brothers and sisters dont look into each other's face which is a source of temptation.

 

[allah is with me]

no bro its not allowed, after you are a man, and a man is weak in these matters...
satan is our open enemy, after all we are human..
if we do stuffs like this, then satan will surely come in our way, and take us to the wrong path..
its better you dont talk to girls...
gaze your head down...
and dont have that intention,which many of men do (asthgafiruallah)..
and ya if you wanna talk to her about islam, then you can go on...
dont crack up jokes...
if you have any islamic issues, then you can talk to her, and discuss her about ..
plz brother dont take me wrong..
i just gave you a good advise ,inshallah..

 

[moon light]

we can. bcoz we discuss only Islamic issues and dont have fun, jokes with the opposite gender. also here, brothers and sisters dont look into each other's face which is a source of temptation.

i agree with brother Ahmed u r completely right because the shaytan is more clever than us and i have an exceprience in this issue i will tell it
i used to work in a school which is for boys and girls together in but every gender is in a different building and i was work as a social worker in a team work contains men and women and i was married in that time and i had a good man friend he was good moslim but after 7 years since a year he told me that he loved me since 7 years i was surpriesed and annoy so i left the school to close the shaytan door
i was wrong to be friend with man but now i believe that there is no friendship relation between man and woman
the sitiuation is different in our forum we discuss islamic issues there is no private relations bettween us specially men and women