Changing your christian families perceptions of Islam...

[dianek]

I need some help!! Before I can tell my family that I converted, I have to change the way they think. My mother will take any opportunity to find something wrong with islam and how she is "told" to percieve by our media. I will need you guys to help me come up with proper responses. I should turn this into a game with her....have her write down one conception of Islam per week and then I submit a rebuttal......

Issue #1: She said she read that Mohammed made his wives cover their entire bodies and FACES so as to not attract lust from other men. Is this true? I know they wore hijab but did he FORCE them to cover their faces as well? I don't think so but I don't want to be wrong when arguing with her.

Issue #2: She said she read that Mohammed encouraged his followers to behead whom they chose who were not muslims and that is why the terrorists today like to behead people........I don't think this is true either but please help me with this.

Thanks!

 

[Optimist]

Salam alaikoom Diane !

Your mom is asking good questions which means she is thinking and this is a good start.

WARNING - personal opinion of a non-scholar to follow

Issue #1: She said she read that Mohammed made his wives cover their entire bodies and FACES so as to not attract lust from other men. Is this true? I know they wore hijab but did he FORCE them to cover their faces as well? I don't think so but I don't want to be wrong when arguing with her.

Muhammad (pbuh) was a prophet and his duty was to convey the message to all mankind and this will include his wives. So yes, he did tell his wives to cover (like other women). He did not force them. Actually, he offered his wives divorce if they so wish because he was leading such a simple and hard life (in some narrations, his family had nothing to cook for 2 months, eating only water & dates). All of them chose to stay with him, may Allah be pleased with all the mothers of the believers (the prophet's wives).

The way he asked his wives is recorded in the Quran for us:

"O Prophet (Muhammad (peace be upon him))! Say to your wives: If you desire the life of this world, and its glitter, Then come! I will make a provision for you and set you free in a handsome manner (divorce). But if you desire Allâh and His Messenger, and the home of the Hereafter, then verily, Allâh has prepared for Al-Muhsinât (good-doers) amongst you an enormous reward (paradise)." 33:28-29.

The prophet (pbuh) had such soft manners, that it was narrated from his servant Anas Bin Malik (RAA) that he said: I served him (the prophet) for 9 years, and he never told me "do such and such" for something that I have not done, or "why did you not do such and such" for something that I have done. The prophet's (pbuh) general manners in advice was to criticise the acts but not to mention the people who did them. He used to say: why is it that some people do such & such ?

Besides I dont quite understand the Christian attitude towards hijab. Go search google for pictures of "Virgin Mary" and see that she does look like an average muslimah. If muslims were only following her example it should be a good enough explanation for the Christians.

Issue #2: She said she read that Mohammed encouraged his followers to behead whom they chose who were not muslims and that is why the terrorists today like to behead people........I don't think this is true either but please help me with this.

Nonesense. Just how many muslims are terrorists ? Even if there was a million of them this would be 1 of every 1400 muslims. Compare that with the USA where the prison population is circa 2% of the total. Alqaeda is an illegal organisation in ALL muslim countries.

Having said that, Islam does have a violent aspect to it. It is a peaceful, not a pacifist religion. It encompasses all aspects of life including the state. Muslim states do what states do. They prosecute criminals and wage wars when necessary. So yes, Islam does not shy from using force where absolutely necessary and most of the verses about fighting qouted from the Quran are in this context.

WARNING - comparison of execution methods is to follow - do not read on if you are weak hearted.

Beheading was the common method of execution in that time and they did their wars with swords and spears, not bombs and rifles. I dont personally see why is beheading worse than other methods of execution. Hanging is probably the most common method of killing in the world today, and from the research I've done about it is far from being merciful. Death can happen by many ways including avulsion decapitation (I'm sorry for the details) and sometimes it can take 10-15 minutes of suffocation. The "perfect" hanging where you break the neck and have an "instant" death happens in less than 50% of cases and it takes a good degree of experience to perfect the techinque as it all depends on the weight of the hanged and the length of the "drop". Electric chair is just horrible and if you ask me is a guaranteed horrible death. Lethal injections, while admittedly look "nicer", may in reality prolong death. Just because a person is unconscious does not mean they are not experiencing pain. Even under anaesthetic the physiological response to pain (e.g. tachycardia) is present. I have never seen an "Islamic" beheading, but people who saw it told me it was instant and usually done with a large sword. It looks horrible, granted, but this does not make worse than other methods in terms of suffering of the victim.

That's my two penny worth. I'm open for correction.

 

[dianek]

Thank you for your reply...although regarding the hijab, I think my mom meant that he required them to cover completely, face and all, like a burqa.....can you verify this. I tried to explain it was just the hijab, covering of the hair not the face, but she insisted it was COMPLETELY....

 

[Optimist]

Thank you for your reply...although regarding the hijab, I think my mom meant that he required them to cover completely, face and all, like a burqa.....can you verify this. I tried to explain it was just the hijab, covering of the hair not the face, but she insisted it was COMPLETELY....

Again I'm not a scholar but your mother is referring to a well known controversy in Islamic circles. This difference in opinion is 1400 years old so we are not going to solve it any time soon (if ever). I personally favour the head cover only (and most women in my family follow this). Those who favour burqa argue that the face is the most beautiful part of the woman, hence it should be covered if the woman intention is to hide her beauty from strangers. It makes sense as you can see but the question about it being an Islamic duty is a different one. If you agree that modesty is a good thing, then the fact that Islam has a space for additional modesty (burqa) is in Islam's favour.

You can show your mom a video of one of those sisters with burqa explaining how they feel about it.

 

[Optimist]

Dear Diane, I'd encourage you to show your parents the basics of the faith rather than keep chasing controversies. If all you do is chasing the media lies then you are waging a lost war. You can still correct some misconceptions -of course- but always convey the basic message of One God (Allah SWT), who is perfect, merciful, all knowing ,all able, who does not have a son and who created everything and that there is nothing like Him. Humans have a natural "switch" for these words.

I pray your mom find happiness in this world and the hereafter. Amin.

 

[TheHumbleWun]

Salaam,

I believe your efforts would be endless and tiresome. Your mother needs to understand and see the picture first. Teach her the fundamentals of Islam.

I recommend watching DVDs by Shaykh Khalid Yasin, such as:

1) Muhammad the Man & His Message

2) Jesus A Prophet Of Allah

3) The Purpose of Life

You can find them at this site (see below), Youtube, and other internet sites.

http://www.halalco.com/khalidyasin.html

 

[dianek]

I wish it were that simple. She would take the word of begger on the corner who was anti-muslim than she would to any of those lecturers. She says "There are 2 sides to every story"......she can be difficult and I need to prepare her for the future when i tell her truth about my conversion. I told her the other day when she made that comment about stuff, "mom, don't listen to that stuff, read the Qu'ran and see for yourself just so you know" She said......"I don't care what the Qu'ran or Mohammad say....I care about what Jesus says!" Got my work cut out for me.

 

[Optimist]

Dear Diane, I applaud your intentions. Be patient and pray for your parents. They have an irrational fear which is the result of ignorance.

Does she know that Muslims do love Jesus (pbuh) ?

Does she know that there is NO evidence from the bible that Jesus (pbuh) is God ? (see Ahmad Deedat's debates about the matter).

Be patient, your chance will come. We are here to help.

 

[TheHumbleWun]

"There are 2 sides to every story" ........I don't care what the Qu'ran or Mohammad say....I care about what Jesus says!" Got my work cut out for me.

Salaam,

Muslims believe in Isa (Jesus-pbuh) and care about every single word that he said too! If she says there are two sides to a story, tell her to why not at least look at the Islamic perspective, then choose. I really recommend showing showing the above DVD by Khalid Yasin.

Be patient like brother Optimist said. The best weapon you have is to just make dua for your mother and let God show her the path of siratul mustaqeem.

 

[dianek]

Salaam,

Muslims believe in Isa (Jesus-pbuh) and care about every single word that he said too! If she says there are two sides to a story, tell her to why not at least look at the Islamic perspective, then choose. I really recommend showing showing the above DVD by Khalid Yasin.

Be patient like brother Optimist said. The best weapon you have is to just make dua for your mother and let God show her the path of siratul mustaqeem.

I do pray for them both daily! But I don't want her to look pitifully on me or give me attitude. Lord knows there is nothing worse than having my mama down your throat!!!! Not so worried about my dad, he is generally "whatever" in his attitude about things. Thanks all for the encouragement.

 

[abou haytam]

I need some help!! Before I can tell my family that I converted, I have to change the way they think. My mother will take any opportunity to find something wrong with islam and how she is "told" to percieve by our media. I will need you guys to help me come up with proper responses. I should turn this into a game with her....have her write down one conception of Islam per week and then I submit a rebuttal......

Issue #1: She said she read that Mohammed made his wives cover their entire bodies and FACES so as to not attract lust from other men. Is this true? I know they wore hijab but did he FORCE them to cover their faces as well? I don't think so but I don't want to be wrong when arguing with her.

Issue #2: She said she read that Mohammed encouraged his followers to behead whom they chose who were not muslims and that is why the terrorists today like to behead people........I don't think this is true either but please help me with this.

Thanks!

Salam o alikom sister dianek, long time i didn t see you here.

i think our brother and sister gives you very important information for you as muslim first and for your mother.

In my opinion the first thing to do is to make your mother to relize that her informations are just misconceptions. Otherways whatever you toald her about the islamic view of thing will just go in the air, cuz in her thinking she is right.

The best why is to involve the misconception that non-christian have about christianity. This way will make her to listen and pay more attention to your islamic view to hijab and jihad.

In my experience with christian friend.

About hijab :

- Ask your mother why virgine marry wear a hijab? what is the proof that jesus didn t force his mother to wear it?

-why nun in church wear hijab? in 2007 do we still need those cloth in modern church????

About jihad and war:

-How it come that jesus teach love and the 1 and 2 war that lead to 75 000 000 death was in a christian land (europe)???? How it come that the follower of jesus drop an atomic bomb in herochima and nakazaki and kill kids and women and innocent people?? those fact are not enough that muslim will think that christianity is a religion of war and killing?? How it come that the follower of the teaching of love are spreading '' democracy '' by F16 and tomhaok missil????


chritisanity worship :

tell your mother that muslim think that you drink blood of jesus ( wine) and eat his flesh....isn t it a barbaric stuff in th eyes of non chritian??? if i am able to travel Through the time and bring one arm of jesus and 0.5 galon of his blood, i should make many dolars in usa lol.


Make your mother to think that the way she had misconception about muslims , muslims have enough proof to think the same about christian. try to put her in the muslim side and let her to judge the behaviour of christian.

Once she will think that her thinking can be wrong she will start to ask more question and pay more attention. at this level pay attention to provide her the correct information from scholars view.

 

[chaandani]

I don't know if this will be helpful to you or not, but whenever my mother says something, I try to correct her. Like the other day we saw a Muslim family at the bank and she muttered, "this is America..." and I replied, "you know that's religious, right?" I like to drop small hints like that, so slowly ease her into the idea of me being Muslim. You might want to try the same thing? Although, it does seem like your mother might be more of the debate-type.

As for the beheading...that just reminded me of this video, "Real Muslim":
http://vidsearch.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=8078051

Good luck.

 

[Amir_of_spain]

Asalam wailkium sister Diane!
ALthough im not a expert in giving dawa to christains, i have had several conversations with fellow christains at work. The most effective dawa to them is 1s) your own good actions 2) giving dawa to them by incorporating christain themes in your answers, cos they dont believe in quan or muhammad so they wont give these sources much attention but if u say christ did this etc or we following prophet moses tradition, it has more weight, also keep the answers very simple and brief.

Issue #1: She said she read that Mohammed made his wives cover their entire bodies and FACES so as to not attract lust from other men. Is this true? I know they wore hijab but did he FORCE them to cover their faces as well? I don't think so but I don't want to be wrong when arguing with her.

Detailed answer is that Umar said to the prophet i wish you would command your wives to cover up to protect themselves against the disbelieving transgressive arab polythesits since both the believers and non-believers frequently visited the Kabaa in the early history. So thus the verses relating to hijab were revealed saying Oh prophet command your wives and the believing women to cover their outer garments so that they should not become molested and will be known as believing women. So here, we see allah 1st supporting umar's view, showing the rank and respect that this companion had, 2nd that muslim women should cover up ie dress modestly not display their beauty to men who are otherwise easily drawn to lust/beauty, ie to those who do not treat with respect, also it serves as a recognition of a believing women, distinguishes her from the dress and lifestyle of the disbelieving women of the world.
Another simple way of conveying the hijab message to christains is, tell them look, in islam we say Mary mother of jesus is from among the most best women of whole mankind, she has her own rank n status, thus we want our muslim women to emulate her, and we know mary covered, dressed modestly so thus muslim women follow her example, this is why christain nuns also wear hijab, so why arent u?
Same with the beard... christain guy kept asking me about the beard, i simply said look, jesus.. what did he have on his chin? a beard right? well for us jesus is part of our role model(s), thus we wana follow his example in everyway possible, thats why muslim men keep beards, so why arent u keeping one? Try to give simple quick answer while also turning the question on them.

Issue #2: She said she read that Mohammed encouraged his followers to behead whom they chose who were not muslims and that is why the terrorists today like to behead people........I don't think this is true either but please help me with this.

This is not true, if it was then they would have beheaded all the pagan arabs when the muslims captured Mecca, and example is repeated in islamic history, eg in palestine by salahudeen, see kingdom of heave video, and also muslim conquest of spain. Even today, we see there exists arab jews/christains by ethic origin/birth, if what she says is true, they shouldnt exist at all.
In islam we have a very proud and confident message we wana give to people, if they accept it, then good, if they dont, no problemo, let every human decide. Forcing actually goes against the system of allah as we believe allah will guide whoever he wills, so for those who dont get guidance, for muslims to force them would be going against the system of god.

Hope this helps.

 

[dianek]

Asalam wailkium sister Diane!
ALthough im not a expert in giving dawa to christains, i have had several conversations with fellow christains at work. The most effective dawa to them is 1s) your own good actions 2) giving dawa to them by incorporating christain themes in your answers, cos they dont believe in quan or muhammad so they wont give these sources much attention but if u say christ did this etc or we following prophet moses tradition, it has more weight, also keep the answers very simple and brief.

Issue #1: She said she read that Mohammed made his wives cover their entire bodies and FACES so as to not attract lust from other men. Is this true? I know they wore hijab but did he FORCE them to cover their faces as well? I don't think so but I don't want to be wrong when arguing with her.

Detailed answer is that Umar said to the prophet i wish you would command your wives to cover up to protect themselves against the disbelieving transgressive arab polythesits since both the believers and non-believers frequently visited the Kabaa in the early history. So thus the verses relating to hijab were revealed saying Oh prophet command your wives and the believing women to cover their outer garments so that they should not become molested and will be known as believing women. So here, we see allah 1st supporting umar's view, showing the rank and respect that this companion had, 2nd that muslim women should cover up ie dress modestly not display their beauty to men who are otherwise easily drawn to lust/beauty, ie to those who do not treat with respect, also it serves as a recognition of a believing women, distinguishes her from the dress and lifestyle of the disbelieving women of the world.
Another simple way of conveying the hijab message to christains is, tell them look, in islam we say Mary mother of jesus is from among the most best women of whole mankind, she has her own rank n status, thus we want our muslim women to emulate her, and we know mary covered, dressed modestly so thus muslim women follow her example, this is why christain nuns also wear hijab, so why arent u?
Same with the beard... christain guy kept asking me about the beard, i simply said look, jesus.. what did he have on his chin? a beard right? well for us jesus is part of our role model(s), thus we wana follow his example in everyway possible, thats why muslim men keep beards, so why arent u keeping one? Try to give simple quick answer while also turning the question on them.

Issue #2: She said she read that Mohammed encouraged his followers to behead whom they chose who were not muslims and that is why the terrorists today like to behead people........I don't think this is true either but please help me with this.

This is not true, if it was then they would have beheaded all the pagan arabs when the muslims captured Mecca, and example is repeated in islamic history, eg in palestine by salahudeen, see kingdom of heave video, and also muslim conquest of spain. Even today, we see there exists arab jews/christains by ethic origin/birth, if what she says is true, they shouldnt exist at all.
In islam we have a very proud and confident message we wana give to people, if they accept it, then good, if they dont, no problemo, let every human decide. Forcing actually goes against the system of allah as we believe allah will guide whoever he wills, so for those who dont get guidance, for muslims to force them would be going against the system of god.

Hope this helps.

Very eloquent answer....you would all be proud of me....I did tell her "Did the Virgin Mary not cover her head?" Ofcourse she gave me that was then and this is now and they don't have to do that anymore, blah, blah, blah and Muhammad's wives were in burqa not just their head.......etc"

 

[Optimist]

Diane we ARE proud of you regardless

here you go, Brother Yusuf Estes in his lovely style on Hijab

[yt]B5hZZUo2CjQ[/yt]

[yt]OZ3fZQuZjdg[/yt]

 

[hager]

well

salam
well..
ur mommy..seems so smart..

press this link:

http://www.muslimbridges.org/content/view/414/

and about hijab..sure,prohet..doesn't force his wives..to wear it...
no force in islam

i suggest to start talk to her about hijab...
how it's portect women's dignity?how it's nice..so on

look..i make presentation about hijab..if u wants it,sister..let me know;


i have idea...my ex love was christain..he wasn't know,islam../he wants proove..
or something..
and he though that hijab capture womens so on...

i told him"Did u have a photo for mary"
he said "yes..."
i told him "what she wears..?"
he said"clothes"

i said on her head...
he said"VEIL"
THEN I TOLD HIM"u go to church before,alright"

he said "yes"
then i told him"what nuns wear"
he said "veils"

so,i told him.....ur religion was beining to mine...u see..in bible allah asks womens...to wear veils ,cover their hairs,

and it's in islam..too
"so,this's litttel proove that christianty beingining to islam"
then "he said "u're right"
but he doesn't convert..i talk to him about islam alotttt....but anyway allah's the one who guide,show ppl's the way..

this link about veils in qur'an..and what bible say:see it please
http://www.muslimbridges.org/content/view/358/


i'll keep u in my duaa,sister...
Everything'll gonna be alright....just Be strong,

salam o likuom

 

[hager]

i forget

oh,i forget

ask ur mom
"in any holy religion....<judasim,christainty,islam> allah mention all prophets stories...>
in islam allah mention"jesus,marry"

so,where's mohamed in bible?
she will say"mohamed come after jesus"

reply her:
"so...that's mean,there's prophet after jesus..so,there's islam..the last religion,that we should follows"

here u're :

some prooves that jesus speaks of mohamed in bible:


Jesus said, "Philip! God is a Good without which there is nothing good: God is a Being without which there is nothing that has existence; God is a Life without which there is nothing that lives. He has no equal. He had no beginning, nor will He have an end, but to everything has He given a beginning and to everything shall He give an end. He has no father nor mother; He has no sons, nor brethren nor companions."

Philip answered:

"Master, what sayest thou? It is surely written in Isaiah that God is our father: how, then, hath He no sons?" Jesus answered:

"There are written by the prophets many parables, wherefore one ought not attend to the letter, but to the sense. For all the prophets, that are one hundred and forty-four thousand, have spoken ambiguously. But after me shall come the Splendor of all the prophets who shall shed light upon the ambiguities of all that the prophets have said, because he is the Messenger of God.

"Verily, I say unto you that every prophet when he is come has borne the mark of the mercy of God to one nation only. And so their words were not extended save to the people to which they were sent. But the Messenger of God, when he shall come, will be given as it were the seal of the hand of God, insomuch as he shall carry salvation and mercy to all the nations of the world that shall receive his doctrine. He shall come with power upon the ungodly, and shall destroy idolatry for, so promised God to Abraham, saying: 'Behold, in thy seed I will bless all the tribes of the earth; and as thou hast broken in pieces the idols, O Abraham, even so shall thy seed do.'

"I therefore say unto you, that the Messenger of God is a splendor that shall give gladness to nearly all that God has made, for he is adorned with the spirit of understanding and counsel, the spirit of wisdom and might, of fear and love, prudence and temperance; he is adorned with the spirit of charity and mercy, of justice and piety and gentleness and patience, which he has received from God three times more than He has given to all His creatures combined. Blessed will be the time when he shall come to the world! Believe me that I have seen him and have done him reverence, even as every prophet has seen him. And when I saw him my soul was filled with consolation, saying, 'O Admirable One! God be with thee, and may he make me worthy to untie thy shoe-latchet for obtaining this I shall be a great prophet and holy one of God.'

"As for me, I am now come to the world to prepare the way for the Messenger of God, who shall bring salvation to the world. By the living God, in whose presence my soul stands, I am not the Savior whom all the tribes of the earth expect."
Then said the Priest:

"How shall the Savior be called, and what sign shall reveal his coming?" Jesus answered:

"The name of the Savior shall be the Admirable One, for, God himself gave him the name when he had created his soul, and placed it in celestial splendor. God said, 'Wait O Admirable One (=Muhammad), for thy sake I will create paradise, the world, and a great multitude of creatures, whereas I make thee a present, insomuch that whosoever shall curse the shall be cursed. When I send thee into the world, I shall send thee as My Messenger of Salvation, and thy world shall be true insomuch that heaven and earth shall fail but thy faith shall never fail. Admirable One is his blessed name." Then the crowd lifted up their voices, saying:

"O God send Thy Messenger. O Admirable One come quickly for the salvation of the world."



4 more info..check this out:
http://www.muslimbridges.org/content/view/238/81/

i know..it's along...essay,to help u

allah with u,
bless u