My courageous friend. Day 2.
Hope he forgives me =(
Today 26/1, Ramsis street: we were running away from them with the sounds of the successive tear-gas bombs in the background. I got lost from the group accompanying me. I found a number of protesters taking a right turn so I followed them into a large backyard. Some were able to jump over the brick walls into the opposite streets; others (and obviously me) were not. I found one of the guys coughing severely from the tear gas; so I handed him an extra mask I had in my bag. Everyone left said we should go up the stairs of a neighboring building so that they don’t catch us. I disagreed because I wrongly thought that the forces would have already left and followed the masses up the street. That was exactly when I found around 10 armed security guys shaking the gates of the backyard very hardly, stepping over the poor old bawab & running 2wards us. I turned back 2wards the building & ran at full-speed 2 find that everyone is already running up the stairs except for the guy I handed the mask, waiting 4 me so that he closes the building gate firmly after I enter & not let them in. Once I got inside, & before he could do anything; they were already inside the entrance with us! I screamed out loudly & very selfishly: محدش ييجي جنبي أنا بنت! (No1 approaches, I am a girl!) and 1 of the security guys repeated my words loudly to the others so that they don’t approach me. And in less than a second they were all inhumanely beating the innocent guy up all over his body with their steel rods and steel hearts! He screamed whole-heartedly, and I can still hear its echo in my ears now.. =’( Then I thought; How selfish of me “no1 approaches, I am a girl”??, I didn’t think except of myself!!.. just to protect myself although he stood there & waited 4 me to protect me!! I realized my grave mistake and in seconds I was screaming out (to leave him, he didn't do anything!) “حرام عليكم... هو معملش حاجة.. مش عشان هو ولد يبقى تسحلوه.. سيبوه حرام عليكم” but all in vain.. he was already bleeding when they were carrying him out of the building and I’m sure they arrested him. I broke down completely.. I couldn’t forgive myself for being that self-centered.. I know that being a girl; I didn’t have many other options.. and I’m sure what happened was divinely written so that he earns thawab for his courageous deed.. but I was still too concerned with myself that I didn’t even righteously defend the guy @ a time of need.. & if it wasn’t for my stubborn mind; he would’ve run upstairs & fled with the others =’(.. when I was going out of the backyard, the bawab asked me to remove the mask away because the police was arresting anyone wearing it… I then instantly remembered that I was the one who gave him the mask … =’( =’(
I hope he forgives me.. I hope I forgive myself. I was heavy with guilt, I wasn’t able to even move my feet.. استخرت في سري and I took a cab back home .. =’(