First steps of getting married

islamisthesolution

Junior Member
salaam alaikom dear sister
dont plan any questions it depends on what he says and what you reply and then questions will just come out and you neednt be stressed its ok dear just be who you are and committ to what islam tells you to do and dont forget istikhara before you say yes
may Allah guide you to the best always sister:hearts::hearts:
 

Mahzala

فَتَبَارَكَ اللَّهُ أَحْسَنُ الْخَالِقِينَ
wa alaykum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh ukhti,

Nee, she will have to ask a lot of questions, and inshaAllah, I will answer them. :) But, it is tricky to actually find the right person, plus im very picky.. (which before anyone gets angry over, is totally reasonable! as we marry and be with that person for rest of our lives, with the goal of the hereafter, so also she be with me to walk together through the gates of Paradise.)

I hope so much that the one who I marry will appreciate me.. but, I guess with things like marriage and looking for pious spouse, the other person has to have some sort of insight based upon knowledge, or a lot of sincerity to value the other person.

i.e. a Muslim brother or sister who prays tahajud, memorises Qur'aan, wants to be the best Muslim he or she can ever be, will not be given any "value" in the eyes of a person who does not care so much about Islam..

Same, if you know what is the right way of following the Deen, the Quran and Pure Sunnah, then you will have some sort of idea how the other person should be living,

Nobody
is perfect, but, all problems and issues can be sorted out, if both of the couple care for Islam a lot. - Why? because they have a central, shared common system for problems. The Quran and the Sunnah. If person has any issues, then this is what they will consult first. - Not sure which is best school to send your children? - You want to know whether to stay in a kafr country, and ignore the obligation, on those who can, of Migration to the land of Muslims? These sort of issues come up.

those who dont care so much about Islam *properly*, end up fighting, arguing, being upset, and divorcing... for example, the men who not happy with their wives calling their families, or who behave like total dictators in the home... then on flipside you have the women who complain a lot!

Some this can be personality issue, and it is very important for people to do self reflection. Do people complain, or say something about you? Perhaps it is true... Who are we? Except the Children of Adam Alayhi salam... humans.... So, we have to reflect and try our best to change, by really implementing the Islamic mannerisms and personality into ourselves.

[FONT=Helvetica, Arial]Abu Darda' reported that the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, said, "Nothing is weightier on the Scale of Deeds than one's good manners."[/FONT] (Adab al Mufrad of Imam Bukhari)

Anas Radhiyallahu anhu said:[FONT=Helvetica, Arial] "I served the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, for ten years. During that time, he never once said to me as much as 'Oof' if I did something wrong. He never asked me, if I had failed to do something, 'Why did you not do it?,' and he never said to me, if I had done something wrong, 'Why did you do it?' "

[/FONT][FONT=Helvetica, Arial]Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet of Allah (saaws) said, "And what is most likely to send people to Paradise? Being conscious of Allah and good manners."[/FONT] (Adab al Mufrad of Imam Bukhari)

[FONT=Helvetica, Arial] 'Abd Allah ibn 'Amr reported that the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, used very often to pray in the following manner, "O Allah! I ask You for good health, for trust, for self-control, for good manners, and to be satisfied with the divine decree."[/FONT] (adab al mufrad by Imam Bukhari).

There are also many other hadith, such as how the Prophet :saw: would mend his clothes, would milk the goats etc, he did work that many men would think did not befit them, but he did those chores, and helped all those in his home. How can we not be in awe of the best of all creation, the best human, our Prophet Muhammad :saw: ..

From the outset, we must have in our mind, that we have to be best in our manners. If we get married, then the day that we say a bad word or become angry, or act unjustly to our wife/husband, it is the day that our record, is tainted. Of course, in most cases it is forgiven, but it is rarely forgotten... And to have such patience is not easy, but it must be something we are Scared of .. for Allah's sake alone, for the day we will be infront of Allah Subahana wa ta'ala...

And what is more important is for us to be dutiful to our Parents. How many people get married, they respect and listen to their wife or husband over their own parents!! -- If the parents command you, in something which is not haram in Islam, you MUST obey them... There are so many hadith about the parents, especially the mother. Imaam Bukhari, did not choose to place the hadith about the parents at the start of the book of manners and character, Adab al Mufrad for no reason.

So, we must respect them, even if they are not Muslims. - But, we have to let go and move on, if they command us to do evil, or keep us in evil e.g. if they are not Muslims.

The best person is the one who is dutiful to his wife, and also one who understands every situation she is in, and wants help her.. and who is respectful to her parents.. and vice versa..

All these things are in our perfect Islam!! These are the things, that should make us weep.

When we know that Muhammad :saw: NEVER, NEVER talked when other people were speaking, he would Wait... until they finished, before he would speak!!

When we know that Muhammad :saw: was not just kind and gentle outside, for example, with his grandchildren who would climb on his back in the prayer, but he was the same in the house, with his family.

We can never be like the Prophet :saw:, his family and companions, but certainly we can try our best to be like that.

And all that I write here, is first for me, I ask Allah to help me, and I hope so much to Allah that I can put into action that which I ever write or advise my beloved brothers and sisters, and to keep us humble and sincere for Him alone.

Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

Wa alaykum Salaam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh

:bismillah1:

Indeed, I agree wholeheartedly. Islam is indeed a *Way of Life* and if one learns it, implements it and thereby others get a lesson out of it, it must be the greatest achievement in comparison to all the other worldly goals that we strive day and night to achieve.

Of course, one must be quite careful (in your words 'picky') in choosing a partner, as like you say, you will be with the person for the rest of your life. Marriage is a transition, in every way, mentally, physically, from a moral and social perspective and most importantly, spiritually. We attain half our faith upon completing this Sunnah of the Rasullulah :saw:. But I must add, also, as you mentioned, nobody is perfect. We can all try to have good values, beliefs and manners, however, we shouldnt just limit our 'options', if I can say, to choosing someone 'near perfect', as I am sure, anyone would agree, its quite a rare case. Learning and teaching each other as a couple might (and I hope I am correct) increase love and belonging between them.

And yes, if we, in every step of life, in every move, every action, believe, fear, obey and remember Allah the Almighty, and constantly strive to attain His Pleasure, and implement the Commands and Laws prescribed for us in the Glorious Quran, and implement the Sunnah in our lives, we shall (Insha Allah) never be in error or doubt. Putting trust in Allah is what He Almighty loves, and if we dont achieve what our hearts desire in this life, we are Muslims, we have the Hereafter, the Eternal Abode for Muslims, which cannot be compared to all the riches of this world. We plan, and they plan, and Allah also Plans, But He is the Best of Planners.

May Allah reward you for your advice, quite lenghty indeed. With my flop of a memory, I might need to get a hard copy of it and file it away somewhere in the filing cabinet. ;) But, to end off, I pray for all you Brothers and Sisters, that you attain the satisfaction that you strive for in life, especially spiritually. I pray that we all get a lofty place under His Glorious Throne and Shade on that Day, and in this life find honour, love, respect, joy, happiness and success. I pray for good lives with your future (or present) partners, full of trust and understanding. And I pray that my duas get accepted, Ameen.

Assalamualaikum :)
 

Abdul Hasib

Student of Knowledge
:salam2:

Surprised how all of you soo didn’t welcome the idea of printing out a paper! Lol.. Well maybe it was a crazy idea went by..okay..I wont do that!! I'll try to calm down and not be nervous! and NO hard times:) Inshallah! Lol sister Sophie and bro tkhan your posts made me laugh! Ahaha

Brother shaheerapak..ur right, the most important thing is doing istikhara, since everything is in Allah's hand. Ill do that tonight inshallah..I'v also noticed that most of you said "don’t ask him alot of questions" but i thought the more i ask , the more it would be better? Yes, brother abuturab the guy is religious and well known by people that hes a good guy ( my father asked the people he works with) but still i have to know his personality..he might not match me..allahu a'lam

I appreciate the corrections..Jazaku allahu khayran specially sister preporus and palastine..thankyou! thankyou!.. you've helped me alto! Thank you sister Sana for your doaa:) inshallah sister muslimah16 ill try to keep you updated..haha sister aishaAnastasia..glad to know that you knew what mokhlis means ( but what is the word in English?)

More help would be welcomed:)

:wasalam:
LoL sister, I was thinking that when it's my time, I should do what you said, but I was thinking to ask the questions and she'll just write the answers down on a peice of paper, LoL.

But sister, I would suggest that you do Tahajudd and make dua during the remaining third of the night (after midnight actually, or "usually," LoL), and ask Allah Ta Alla to give you a good and Pious Husband, who is Modest, Shy, and has a GREAT and BEAUTIFUL character and personality.

And also sister, I would suggest that when you talk to him, WEAR YOUR NIQAAB, LoL. :p

But seriously though, if he sees your face, that might attract him to you, which (in MY, HUMBLE opinion :p) is a BAD thing, because that could :

1.) Make him feel a bit embarassed or shy, since if he IS a Modest and Shy brother, he would not really want to look at you in the face while talking to you.

2.) He'll judge you mainly because of the way you look. If your face attracts him, then he'll start to judge you and like you not because of your character, modesty, and Piety (which to me (personally), are the ONLY things th at matter), but because he likes the way you look, and if a sister just practices Islam on a basic level (wears Hijab, does Salat, etc. but does not wish to exceed into becoming Pious) but the way she looks is considered (qoute qoute>) "attractive," then he'll decide that he likes her, even though he really doesn't know what's more important, and thatis being Pious, or atleast steadfast.

And not only that, on a negative level too, you could say. Let's say that he doesn't really feel attracted to your face and the such (which I know is pretty unlikely) then he'll just judge you on a negative level and even though you could be steadfast, you're not "really up to his" "expectations," but actually, it's alright here, because I know that no Muslim sister would want a selfish prat like this :D

But my main conern (about you, sister Muslimah) is what I've stated before (the negative part): that most "men (my AKA for them is "guys") judge girls and women by appearance, NOT character. And you also don't know if this brother could be evil in his heart or not, since you haven't seen him, right sister? And also, since this is were the "un-modest" (< my vocabulary) part comes on with the guy who wants "Four "Pious" and "Beautiful" (< qoute qoute again!) Wives."

And remember sister, judge him by his character first, but MAKE SURE you find out if he's PIOUS and STEADFAST; and even more than that, if he's OF THOSE WHO FOLLOW ALL THE SUNNAHS OF RASULALLAH (SAW) OR WHO TRIES TO IMPLEMENT HIS LIFE TO BE LIKE THAT OF RASULALLAH (SAW)'S.

Because Wallahi sister, THAT kind of man would be a brother who is kind, gentle, soft, shy, modest, has manners, politeness, and most of all....PIETY.

And by that, I mean don't ask him if he PRACTICES ISLAM, because trust me, ALL the brothers in my Masjid do so, but WALLAHI, ALL OF THEM (but a few) ARE BROTHERS THAT HAVE HORRIBLE CHARACTER, NO MANNERS, UN-THOUGHTFUL, AND NOT PIOUS.

But by NOT PIOUS, I mean the ones in WHOM I've seen that aren't Pious. Like one "brother" who "practices Islam," does Salat and the such, but doesn't practice upon the Sunnah of Rasulallah (SAW) (such as maybe doing the Miswak, but doesn't even try to keep a beard, nor is he) someone who doesn't even DO Nafl Ebadah! Ebadah to get closer to Allah Ta Alla, and not only that, CRITICIZES me, but won't take my advice to read "al Adab al Mufrad, Muslim Morals and Manners (Prescribed by Rasulallah SAW) by Imam al Bukhari" (and not to mention SIMPLY because it's al Bukhari too, which he slings mud at, even though he doesn't even UNDERSTAND the science of Hadith or even the CORRECT MANHAJ of Rasulallah SAW)!

But anyway (forget the last sentences), my important thing that I wanted to say is, ANY Muslim guy is "practicing" or "religious," and why? Mainly because they (or other people) CONSIDER THEMSELVES as being a "GOOD MUSLIM" (<qoute qoute BIG time here!) just because why? Because (as the way they see it), they "practice Islam," or maybe "do the basic things;" and what ARE the basic things? Doing Salat, and etc.; while REALLY practicing Islam is WAY MORE than that (and some people actually THINK that they're "relgious," just because they are "AT HOME?!" but they don't wear a Hijab or be Modest, or they really DON'T do the basic Islamic Ettiquets like even five times Salat, but just because they UNDERSTAND that they are Muslim, but in reality, not a really good one)!

So sister, that goes to explain? That for being RELIGIOUS, it goes to CERTAIN LEVELS. Like maybe they're considered "RELIGOUS" just because they wear a Hijab, do Salat; but they: a) are loud b) have no manners c) talk back to their mother d) rude e) have a FILTHY mouth like a little boy f) listen to music CONSTANTLY (especially them "so-called" (qoute qoute>) "Nasheeds") g) don't listen to Quran h) don't do Nafl Ebadah i) and don't even WANT to be a Muttaqeen(aj)!

Or maybe it's a guy who others CONSIDER him as being "religous," even (like before) he just does Salat and reads Quran (etc.) but: a) has a filthy mouh b) talks ill of people (especially behind their backs) c) doesn't even LIKE the Sunnah! d) doesn't choose Allah over anybody else! e) criticizing OTHER people, but not themselves f) degrades others, but not themselves g) gives Naseehah to others, but not themselves h) LOOKS at GIRLS and WOMEN on TV and doesn't even CHANGE THE CHANNEL, nor even AVERT HIS GAZE if he saw them anywhere (like on the street) i) thinls about Polygamy like CONSTANTLY, and ONLY for SELFISH BENEFITS j) thinks about Hurl Yeen ALL THE TIME k) does not have good characters that a Muslim man should have (that of which Rasulallah (SAW) had, which includes: piety, modesty, gentleness, softness, tenderness, kindness, beauty in character, etc.) L) who doesn't even DO Nafl Ebadah to get nearer to Allah Ta Alla or doesn't even CARE to be EXTREMELY Pious!

So you see sister? "MuZLims" are only "religous" to a CERTAIN LEVEL, like basic, Salat, Hijab, etc. (but not STEADFASTNESS or PIETY), basic but un acceptable (like does a few things like Salat, etc. but NOT Modest or with good character), BELOW basic (meaning doesn't even REALLY practice Islam, just KNOWS that they are "Biologically" "MuZLim," and doesn't do Salat and has a boyfriend/girlfriend, but STILL see themselves as being a "good" (<qoute! qoute!>) "MuZLim"), and there are some that are ABOVE average, like they are "still good" in "a lot" of places, but still LACK a lot of IMPORTANT THINGS at the same time.

And then there are those that are REALLY good, steadfast, practicing their deen A LOT, and EXCEEDING BEYOND THE BASICS (like pertaining in a lot of Nafl or Preferred Ebadah and deeds), and are Mashallah REALLY nice when you see their personality (like a sister who wears not only a Hijab, but wants to wear a Jilbab and a Niqab for Allah Ta Alla, or a brother who's keeping a GOOD BEARD (meaning that the beard hairs (like if you were to take hold of ONE of the hairs, not seeing from which places it STARTS to grow from) grow PAST, ATLEAST the end of the THROAT), and who FOLLOW MANY of the Sunnahs, steadfast, and who WANT to practice their Deen and REALLY be good, Alhamdulillah. :)

And then there are brothers and sisters who are even MORE than that; they are EXTREMELY steadfast, follow ALL of the Sunnahs of Rasulallah (SAW), and are one of those who are SO near to Allah Ta Alla and Rasulallah (SAW), to the extent that their WHOLE LIFE, is based upon Allah Ta Alla and Rasulallah (SAW), that you like FEEL THE RADIATING LIGHT FROM THEIR EMAN (such as when you see their personality)! And THOSE are the Pious Mumins and Muminahs, and from amongst Ahl as Sunnah, Allahu Akbar!:)

Sp you see sister? You need to manuever your questions in a way that you actually can actually UNDERSTAND EXACTLY if he's Pious or not (WE can only assume, but really, Allah Ta Alla judges, but by us assuming, it's not harmful, it only is if we start to JUDGE a person by what we see, because a wolf also disguises himself with a mask (making himself to look like "a good guy") in order to bapture it's prey), and by that, I think you should ask him:

1.) If he practices Islam (and ALSO)

2.) To what EXTENT does he practice Islam, and to describe it.

-if he's a Pious and Modest brother, chances are that he doesn't want to brag about himself, but he SHOULD basically explain if he just "Does his Salat," and "the such," or if he practices Islam to the Exntent in trying to Obey Allah Ta Alla's commandments, to please him (it could be out of his Love to Allah Ta Alla), and to base his life so that he can follow Rasullah (SAW) (sincerely from his heart, a deep LOVE for Rasulallah, or from an ADMIIRATION to Rasulallah SAW).

And also if he says the latter (of what I've posted in the paragpraph above), then you COULD ask him about how he feels when it comes towards Allah Ta Alla and Rasulallah (SAW), and if he (tries to, but not in a bragging manner) respongs by (having you to understnad) that he really LOVES Allah Ta Alla and Rasulallah (SAW), then THAT is a great brother sister. :)

But remember these things sister:

1.) Do Tahajudd and dua (during last third of the night)!

2.) ASK him if he not only practices Islam, but to WHAT EXTENT he practices Islam

3.) You should make sure that you ask him good questions, but not in a way that might make him feel nervous, but ask him small, simple, and easy questions, so that he doesn't feel stupid being stuck on one thing, but at the same time, you could UNDERSTAND HIS PERSONALITY (Like don't jump into asking him if he's Pious, (brothers and sisters who are Pious don't feel good in admitting to others that they are), but ask him like what a lot of us said, if he could be someone, who would it be? what does he like to do in his spare time, hanging out with friends or whatever? (etc. because if he DOES, then he can say yes, and he won't know that you want him to say that he spends his spare time worshipping Allah; don't ask him if he worships Allah or remembers Allah in his spare time; because he doesn't want to look stupid and say no, but ask him, what he ENJOYS doing in his spare time, and you should ask him to say the most important one, or to atleast name a lot of them) and the such as I've also explained it, because if he't not good, he might try to manuever you into thinking that he's not "a bad guy," but you won't FULLY understand his personality).

3.) Wear a Niqab! (to avoid what I explained earlier)

4.) Talk to alot of the SISTERS (if you want, I could tell you a sister who knows this stuff)

5.) KEEP YOUR TRUST IN ALLAH TA ALLA :)


And Allah Ta Alla knows best. Phew! This took me like OVER THREE HOURS to type this! LoL (I am a bit dissapointed though that i didn't read a but of Quran, like 20 minutes, and it's Fajr in like, 5L47, which is like ten minutes!)

But still, *panting* I hope this has helped a lot of you brothers and sisters here. Wow, I've got to take a break right now!

So anyway sister,
 

al-muslimah

Junior Member
:salam2:

Akhi Sheikh Abdul Hasib :tongue: I really really appreiciate what you wrote..mashallah! everything you wrote makes sense..it realy helped me.. may allah reward you and give you the strength and health in helping your brothers and sisters.well not to forget..may allah grant you a PIOUSwife. Amin!:)

Brother when you talked about that we should not only ask if he's religious because there are many guys out there that are religious but have no manners, I remembered this hadith: The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) says: “If someone with whose Deen (religion) and manners you are pleased, give your daughters in marriage to him, unless you do this, there would be confusion and great corruption on earth.” Actually I believe those brothers who are so-called religious and have bad manners, Don’t practice the true Islam. Because I believe when the man's Deen is good/stright then most everything else in his life will be good/straight. I see Islam organizes ones life, tells them what to do and what shouLd the person not do. So everyone should see islam as a way of living and always know that what ever islam tells us benifets us and it for our own sake!

Like the prophet peace be upon him was trying to say that the most important thing is how the man is related to Islam like as you said ( prays, fasts, does tajahud and nawafil) and his personality/manners..and if both of those were in that guy.. then inshallah he'll be a successful husband. Wish all men think like our great prophet.*sigh*

Yes, you are absolutely right, if every person does what the Rasuul peace be upon him orders and followed the true path, I strongly believe that the world would live in peace like peaceful happy families with great parents with great personalities and religious understandings.

(Subhanallah brother..i don’t get how people don’t like to be adviced specially to be better in their Deen. I'm talking about the guys in your masijd..the important thing is that you do what you feel like doing and do Dawa then leave the rest to Allah subhanaha wa ta aala..allah will reward you inshallah)

"ask him small, simple, and easy questions, so that he doesn't feel stupid being stuck on one thing" Very true.

"what does he like to do in his spare time, hanging out with friends or whatever? (etc. because if he DOES, then he can say yes, and he won't know that you want him to say that he spends his spare time worshipping Allah;" Smart! During that time I better keep my brain working and try to put all my concentration in what he says ..well I could record what he says if I really had to I'll just hide the recorder somewhere lol..

Lol brother about wearing a niqab..the guy never saw me before..and when he comes he will be willing to know how I look and how is my personality..i get what you exactly mean that he might like be attracted in how I look :p rather than seeing whats inside me..actually I doubt he looks in the face..lol because he is also SHY:redface:!! (my father says).

Jazaka allahou khayran akhi :)

:wasalam:
 

stiks

Amatur-Rahman
wa alaykum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh ukhti,

Nee, she will have to ask a lot of questions, and inshaAllah, I will answer them. :) But, it is tricky to actually find the right person, plus im very picky.. (which before anyone gets angry over, is totally reasonable! as we marry and be with that person for rest of our lives, with the goal of the hereafter, so also she be with me to walk together through the gates of Paradise.)

I hope so much that the one who I marry will appreciate me.. but, I guess with things like marriage and looking for pious spouse, the other person has to have some sort of insight based upon knowledge, or a lot of sincerity to value the other person.

i.e. a Muslim brother or sister who prays tahajud, memorises Qur'aan, wants to be the best Muslim he or she can ever be, will not be given any "value" in the eyes of a person who does not care so much about Islam..

Same, if you know what is the right way of following the Deen, the Quran and Pure Sunnah, then you will have some sort of idea how the other person should be living,

Nobody
is perfect, but, all problems and issues can be sorted out, if both of the couple care for Islam a lot. - Why? because they have a central, shared common system for problems. The Quran and the Sunnah. If person has any issues, then this is what they will consult first. - Not sure which is best school to send your children? - You want to know whether to stay in a kafr country, and ignore the obligation, on those who can, of Migration to the land of Muslims? These sort of issues come up.

those who dont care so much about Islam *properly*, end up fighting, arguing, being upset, and divorcing... for example, the men who not happy with their wives calling their families, or who behave like total dictators in the home... then on flipside you have the women who complain a lot!

Some this can be personality issue, and it is very important for people to do self reflection. Do people complain, or say something about you? Perhaps it is true... Who are we? Except the Children of Adam Alayhi salam... humans.... So, we have to reflect and try our best to change, by really implementing the Islamic mannerisms and personality into ourselves.

[FONT=Helvetica, Arial]Abu Darda' reported that the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, said, "Nothing is weightier on the Scale of Deeds than one's good manners."[/FONT] (Adab al Mufrad of Imam Bukhari)

Anas Radhiyallahu anhu said:[FONT=Helvetica, Arial] "I served the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, for ten years. During that time, he never once said to me as much as 'Oof' if I did something wrong. He never asked me, if I had failed to do something, 'Why did you not do it?,' and he never said to me, if I had done something wrong, 'Why did you do it?' "

[/FONT][FONT=Helvetica, Arial]Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet of Allah (saaws) said, "And what is most likely to send people to Paradise? Being conscious of Allah and good manners."[/FONT] (Adab al Mufrad of Imam Bukhari)

[FONT=Helvetica, Arial] 'Abd Allah ibn 'Amr reported that the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, used very often to pray in the following manner, "O Allah! I ask You for good health, for trust, for self-control, for good manners, and to be satisfied with the divine decree."[/FONT] (adab al mufrad by Imam Bukhari).

There are also many other hadith, such as how the Prophet :saw: would mend his clothes, would milk the goats etc, he did work that many men would think did not befit them, but he did those chores, and helped all those in his home. How can we not be in awe of the best of all creation, the best human, our Prophet Muhammad :saw: ..

From the outset, we must have in our mind, that we have to be best in our manners. If we get married, then the day that we say a bad word or become angry, or act unjustly to our wife/husband, it is the day that our record, is tainted. Of course, in most cases it is forgiven, but it is rarely forgotten... And to have such patience is not easy, but it must be something we are Scared of .. for Allah's sake alone, for the day we will be infront of Allah Subahana wa ta'ala...

And what is more important is for us to be dutiful to our Parents. How many people get married, they respect and listen to their wife or husband over their own parents!! -- If the parents command you, in something which is not haram in Islam, you MUST obey them... There are so many hadith about the parents, especially the mother. Imaam Bukhari, did not choose to place the hadith about the parents at the start of the book of manners and character, Adab al Mufrad for no reason.

So, we must respect them, even if they are not Muslims. - But, we have to let go and move on, if they command us to do evil, or keep us in evil e.g. if they are not Muslims.

The best person is the one who is dutiful to his wife, and also one who understands every situation she is in, and wants help her.. and who is respectful to her parents.. and vice versa..

All these things are in our perfect Islam!! These are the things, that should make us weep.

When we know that Muhammad :saw: NEVER, NEVER talked when other people were speaking, he would Wait... until they finished, before he would speak!!

When we know that Muhammad :saw: was not just kind and gentle outside, for example, with his grandchildren who would climb on his back in the prayer, but he was the same in the house, with his family.

We can never be like the Prophet :saw:, his family and companions, but certainly we can try our best to be like that.

And all that I write here, is first for me, I ask Allah to help me, and I hope so much to Allah that I can put into action that which I ever write or advise my beloved brothers and sisters, and to keep us humble and sincere for Him alone.

Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh


:salam2:


beautiful wise words mashaallah. hopefully we will take heed and try to emulate our Prohet sallalahu alaihi wasallam in all matters. may Allah grant us and brother mabsoot Jannah ameen.

i'd just add that you should examine your goal in life and choose someone who'll aid you in attaining it. Mine's going to Jannah, you?
 

path to jannah

Junior Member
masha allah mabsoot brother's posts were really ....................<< i am going speechless>>.......


so coming to d topic. dear sis al muslimah ,best of luck n i pray u get a deeni sweet husband whose taking n practising islam at heart........ AAMEEN..........
inshaallah:tti_sister::tti_sister::tti_sister:
 

Muslimah16

ServantOfAllah*
Some great great great great advice being passed on man, totally!!
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:
Good luck sister. inshAllah the guy cumin to see you is your prince charming, in deen and duniya.(world) Aameen.
i would laugh if he is a brother at TTI and reading all your posts!! You would have an awesome topic to talk about :):):)
 
:salam2: I feel you need to ask what is his goal in life. What is his religious beliefs. What does he expect from his wife to be.
 

musat40

New Member
Asallammualaikum wbt.
sorry for the intrusion. Dear sister, I am happy for u cause this is a next journey in your life. so be happy and grateful to ALLAH SWT. If you have question, please pray to ALLAH SWT. FOR HE will give you guidence INSHAA ALLAH.
The prayer is call 'ISTIHARAH'. with two rakaat. ALLAH WILL GIVE YOU THE ANSWER. Please read more on this shalah if you want more detail. INSHAA ALLAH you will have the answer.
Wassallam.
 

al-muslimah

Junior Member
Lol subhanallah didnt realize untill now that i never said what happened..thanks for asking about the thing and your concerns

hmmmm..Subhanallah it didnt go through..You know when the time when we should ask about the guy..yeah after so many research (lol) and asking so many people..he did appear to be a good guy but there are some stuff that my father wasnt comfortable about. My father felt that he wasnt sutable for me and we will no longer complete the path. My father is wise so I believe in whtaever he says. I trust in all his decisions. So yeah thats it. :)

Wal salam! :)
 

rayray

Junior Member
Lol subhanallah didnt realize untill now that i never said what happened..thanks for asking about the thing and your concerns

hmmmm..Subhanallah it didnt go through..You know when the time when we should ask about the guy..yeah after so many research (lol) and asking so many people..he did appear to be a good guy but there are some stuff that my father wasnt comfortable about. My father felt that he wasnt sutable for me and we will no longer complete the path. My father is wise so I believe in whtaever he says. I trust in all his decisions. So yeah thats it. :)

Wal salam! :)


Oh, I see. You'll find a more suitable partner :)

Jazak allahu khairan for replying. Now I can sleep better at night ;) :)
 
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