Friends Forever?

[Abu Loren]

Asalaamu Alaikkum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu

I hope and pray that all my brothers and sisters in Islam are in the best of health and Imaan. Ameen.

Ever since I changed my life and became a Muslim something has been troubling me a great deal. My friends.

I suppose they were shocked when I suddenly announced to them that I have become a Muslim. From my background there was a quiet hatred of Muslims, most Christians view the Muslims as The ENEMY. The day after they bought pork and cooked it, I don't know if it was a test to see if I would eat it or not. Then they would try their hardest to make me drink alcohol.

The thing is I find that I have absolutely nothing at all in common with my friends. These guys are my boyhood friends, we are more like brothers than friends or so I thought.

I guess I now see them with a new pair of eyes, they all have traits that I hate. For example, they cheat and are dishonest, and sometimes wonder if I was the same during my days of Jahiliya.

I am now happy filling my spare time with learning the deen. Alhamdulilah.

I now think that I don't really need them as friends and I know that by being close to them they will drag me to hell. I have no alternative but to discard them like used sweet wrappers, they contained something good but now it's absolutely useless.

 

[Mahzala]

Wa 'alaykum salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

At some point in life, there is a strange contentment and satisfaction in being the stranger. And this feeling doesn't only come through one reverting/converting their ways, religiously or morally. Despite having known someone as far as your earliest memories go, their path then becomes strange to you and you, by Allah's turning of our hearts, or mere steadfastness, see them as one of the many others who are sinking in the ocean of dunya. And then there are times you feel responsible, responsible to remind, to support, and bi idnillah, act as the means to guide, but then you realise their ways will not change, if anything, they will be the cause of your going down their path too. And so, as is beautifully said, when all the world turns against you for doing the right thing, learn to contently live the life of the stranger, and as Muslims we are just that - Alhamdulillah.

 

[Mabsoot]

wa alaykum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

If they do not respect your decisions, then they are not good friends! Its also not good to mix with those people who are of bad influence, who drink, do drugs etc.

Give them advice, but keep your distance in sha Allah. Make new friends : ) I would happily be your friend, although I am your brother!

wasalamu alaykum

 

[Abu Loren]

Wa 'alaykum salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

At some point in life, there is a strange contentment and satisfaction in being the stranger. And this feeling doesn't only come through one reverting/converting their ways, religiously or morally. Despite having known someone as far as your earliest memories go, their path then becomes strange to you and you, by Allah's turning of our hearts, or mere steadfastness, see them as one of the many others who are sinking in the ocean of dunya. And then there are times you feel responsible, responsible to remind, to support, and bi idnillah, act as the means to guide, but then you realise their ways will not change, if anything, they will be the cause of your going down their path too. And so, as is beautifully said, when all the world turns against you for doing the right thing, learn to contently live the life of the stranger, and as Muslims we are just that - Alhamdulillah.

Salaam sis

Thank you for the reply, very poetic.

 

[Abu Loren]

wa alaykum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

If they do not respect your decisions, then they are not good friends! Its also not good to mix with those people who are of bad influence, who drink, do drugs etc.

Give them advice, but keep your distance in sha Allah. Make new friends : ) I would happily be your friend, although I am your brother!

wasalamu alaykum

Salaam bro

I'm really touched by your kind words Maa Shaa Allah.

 

[Mahzala]

Salaam sis

Thank you for the reply, very poetic.

Wa 'alaykum salaam,

I've made a lot of new friends since school, among them, many non-Muslims, and although I've kept contact with those from school (predominantly Muslim), I've only ever felt that they are the cause of my grief - grief for them, for the paths they have chosen and grief that they don't see any fault in it. So sometimes, despite your inclination to remind they are in the wrong, you have to be selfish and keep your distance because they can drag you down too ... admittedly, their concerns are quite petty. Their problems: friend1 is in a relationship with friend2 and friend1 is cheating on friend2 and friend2 contacts friend3 to tell them to advise friend1 ... friend3 doesn't want to lose either friendship but is distraught over the situation, so contacts friend4 for impartial advice - SubhanAllah, petty huh?

 

[Abu Loren]

Wa 'alaykum salaam,

I've made a lot of new friends since school, among them, many non-Muslims, and although I've kept contact with those from school (predominantly Muslim), I've only ever felt that they are the cause of my grief - grief for them, for the paths they have chosen and grief that they don't see any fault in it. So sometimes, despite your inclination to remind they are in the wrong, you have to be selfish and keep your distance because they can drag you down too ... admittedly, their concerns are quite petty. Their problems: friend1 is in a relationship with friend2 and friend1 is cheating on friend2 and friend2 contacts friend3 to tell them to advise friend1 ... friend3 doesn't want to lose either friendship but is distraught over the situation, so contacts friend4 (me) for impartial advice - SubhanAllah, petty huh?

I know it's probably over generalizing but it's one of the pitfalls of living in a Western Country. Millions of young people are not living the Islamic lifestyle as the Western youth culture attracts them, they'd rather follow music and date the opposite gender and live a life according to shaytaan.

Boy am I glad that I don't have friends like 1,2,3 or 4. LOL.

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Asalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh,

Salaam sis
Thank you for the reply, very poetic.

So I'm not the only one to have noticed that.

I am now happy filling my spare time with learning the deen. Alhamdulilah. [corrected]

.

Brother please correct the spelling.

Give them advice, but keep your distance in sha Allah. Make new friends : ) I would happily be your friend, although I am your brother!

wasalamu alaykum

That's so beautiful Mashaa`Allah. May Allah increase you in your love for your brothers and theirs for you.

 

[Mahzala]

Abu Loren, it's true that living in such environments and being immersed in such cultures has an impact, but I am also one to believe that it is something of the fitrah too ... because then environment doesn't limit you, neither do family values, nor religious boundaries. And the people I know, or like to think, knew, are from very religiously practising, conservative families. Some of my friends like to admit that they were wrong throughout school to adopt the ways they did, and praise those who didn't choose that path, then there are the complete opposite who chose the path later, when their mental, physical and psychological mindsets were matured. What do you say then?

And I am glad I am not a part of their outings as often, because every time I am, which is about once a year, I am so shaken, that for days on end I am only thinking about them ...

 

[fada_all]

wa alaykum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

If they do not respect your decisions, then they are not good friends! Its also not good to mix with those people who are of bad influence, who drink, do drugs etc.

Give them advice, but keep your distance in sha Allah. Make new friends : ) I would happily be your friend, although I am your brother!

wasalamu alaykum

masha allah ur talk is always full of wisdom....

 

[Abu Loren]

Asalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh,

Brother please correct the spelling.

Thanks sis.

 

[Abu Loren]

Abu Loren, it's true that living in such environments and being immersed in such cultures has an impact, but I am also one to believe that it is something of the fitrah too ... because then environment doesn't limit you, neither do family values, nor religious boundaries. And the people I know, or like to think, knew, are from very religiously practising, conservative families. Some of my friends like to admit that they were wrong throughout school to adopt the ways they did, and praise those who didn't choose that path, then there are the complete opposite who chose the path later, when their mental, physical and psychological mindsets were matured. What do you say then?

And I am glad I am not a part of their outings as often, because every time I am, which is about once a year, I am so shaken, that for days on end I am only thinking about them ...

The main thing I feel is that with the guidance of Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala that we don't fall into the trap of doing what they are doing. As you've said it beautifully...

So sometimes, despite your inclination to remind they are in the wrong, you have to be selfish and keep your distance because they can drag you down too

You are also absolutely right in saying we can only advise them and it's up to them to take heed.