Getting Defensive when talking about Islam

[Ashima33]

Salaam Alaikum,

I woke up not feeling so well today. I'm visiting my family in my tiny home town of no muslims. I am visiting for the first time since I started wearing hijab, so things have felt alittle awkward here and there. I was visiting a friend last night and they asked me something about hijab, and then after I answered their question they said, "You don't have to get so defensive when talking about these things."

I was kind of embarrassed. I didn't even realize I was doing that, but they said I was. With everything I have been going through lately (having to leave work because I wear hijab) and being in this environment where I'm the only muslim... I think that it has taken it's toll on me.

I also think I get kind of worked up when people ask me questions about Islam because I feel pressure to answer things really well. I want to prove that I have the knowledge and thought this through. But I know that if I keep coming across this way when explaining Islam, it's going to give a negative association with it.

Has anyone had similar experiences?


Wasalaam.

 

[Nurain]

Wa alaykum salam

I guess so. Sis, you dont have to tell them everything that you know. Even had you recited the qur'an to them A to Z, had they not been given guidance from Allaah, they will still be that way. And the Prophet's style is such that his words are little but they mean a lot. We can tell them some, but hidayah belongs only to Allaah to give it to whom.

Perhaps you can enter this with a positive approach. Know that they are asking, because Allaah is really testing your patience. And you must answer for Allaah's pleasure solely, not to show you are knowledgeable and know what you are doing.

Relax sis *squeeze hands* may this be a reminder to me too in sha Allaah

Wasalam

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

There are two parts of a discussion, presentation and perception. You can only be responsible for how you present it and the listener can only be responsible for how they perceive it. With that said, maybe the listener misperceived what you presented. I always try to make sure I phrase answers about Islam in a neutral fashion.

I am often asked why some Muslim females do not wear hijab and I tell them that everyone has different levels of practice. Muslims are no different than the rest of the word in these matters. I guess they expect me to trash talk the sisters who have no come around to wearing the hijab but that's not going to happen. I am also told about Muslims they know that drink alcohol and commit zinah, I usually direct the person to their own religious beliefs and how some of the followers stumble in regards to these matters. No one is perfect and we all sin, it is not our place to point out other's faults.

If you are presenting your info in a neutral manner and staying polite and they still perceive defensiveness in you then there is nothing you can do about it. Some people want to find offense where there is none. Keep your chin up sis, Allah swt has your back.

Wasalaam

 

[MutlekM]

:salam2:
Same things happen to me starting at 10 years people in this started asking me a lot of questions I couldnt because i didnt want say something I wasnt sure of so i became jealous so I started studing Islam on my Laptops now that I am 13 I feel more confident and patient about and trust me I used be very impatient anybody who said anythng wrong about Islam i thought that if I beat them up it would solve the problem but it only became worst. but now alhamdullillah I am now very patient atleast I think so and I am also more comfortable with my religion and TTI was one of the places I turned to for help.

 

[Amina 1]

:salam2:


It helps to come to TTI just so you know that you are not the only one. So come here often. I sortof isolated myself more and more because it hurts and feels really personal when people say you are defensive(when you are not they just can't stand to hear the truth) or they look at you with pity and search for who forced you into this . Or they give you the look that says you are disgusting. Try to stay away from the disbelievers as much as you can and don't stress leave it to Allah. You can not make the blind see or the deaf hear and try to surrond yourself with more tolerant people because your Iman will suffer. I will say dua for you keep your head up and stay proud you know Allah