getting forced married!!!!!!!!

shabnum

Junior Member
:salam2:
sisters and brothers, i have a question please if you could give me answer back soon as possible in evidence and sunnah.

i have a friend and she is going throw a pretty ruff time, her parents are taking her next year to pakistan to get married but she is not happy with it at all, she also said she will runaway from home she even cut her rists and try to kill her self, i said to her doent harm your self please and doent runaway from home it will make things even worse for, you will have bigger problems, all her family are forcing her in to it, she is really upset and crys all the time she has lost alot of weight and going throw a really bad time.

if please some one can give me evidence so i can pass it on to her so she can show it to her family that look what you are doing it is wrong and that its not allowed in islam.:SMILY309:

she is only 17 and i see her as my baby sister and i doent want her to go throw all this .

please get back to me soon as possible, may allah reward you all and give you happiness inshallah ameen.

:astag: :wasalam:
 

ibn azem

Super Moderator
Staff member
Bismillah,

:salam2:


Can a woman be forced into marriage in Islam?

Absolutely not! Let us look at what Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said regarding this issue:

Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as having said: "A woman without a husband (or divorced or a widow) must not be married until she is consulted, and a virgin must not be married until her permission is sought. They asked the Prophet of Allah (may peace be upon him): How her (virgin's) consent can be solicited? He (the Holy Prophet) said: That she keeps silence. (Translation of Sahih Muslim, The Book of Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 008, Number 3303)"

Allah Almighty said in the Noble Quran: "O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower [money given by the husband to the wife for the marriage contract] ye have given them, except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good. (The Noble Quran, 4:19)"

The following Saying is an explanation to Noble Verse 4:19:
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: "About the Qur'anic verse: 'It is not lawful for you forcibly to inherit the woman (of your deceased kinsmen), nor (that) ye should put constraint upon them.' When a man died, his relatives had more right to his wife then her own guardian. If any one of them wanted to marry her, he did so; or they married her (to some other person), and if they did not want to marry her, they did so. So this verse was revealed about the matter. (Translation of Sunan Abu-Dawud, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 11, Number 2084)" So according to Noble Verse 4:19, a woman can not be forced into marriage by any mean.

Narrated AbuHurayrah: "The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: An orphan virgin girl should be consulted about herself; if she says nothing that indicates her permission, but if she refuses, the authority of the guardian cannot be exercised against her will. (Translation of Sunan Abu-Dawud, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 11, Number 2088)"

Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: "The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Consult women about (the marriage of) their daughters. (Translation of Sunan Abu-Dawud, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 11, Number 2090)"

Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: "A virgin came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) allowed her to exercise her choice. (Translation of Sunan Abu-Dawud, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 11, Number 2091)"

Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: "The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: A guardian has no concern with a woman previously married and has no husband, and an orphan girl (i.e. virgin) must be consulted, her silence being her acceptance. (Translation of Sunan Abu-Dawud, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 11, Number 2095)"

The above Noble Verse 4:19 and the Sayings of our beloved Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him clearly explain that according to Islam, whether the woman is virgin or not, her permission is a MUST. Her father or older brother can not force her into marriage as the Pagan Arabs and the Jews and Christians before Islam in the Middle East used to do.

Can the woman divorce herself from a forced marriage upon her?

As we've seen above, it is clearly forbidden in Islam to force women into marriage. But in case this ever should happen or have happened already to any woman, then Islam allows for her to divorce herself from the man she was forced to marry. Let us read the following:
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: "A virgin came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) allowed her to exercise her choice. (Translation of Sunan Abu-Dawud, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 11, Number 2091)"

The choice that our beloved Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him gave to the woman is she can either remain married to the man, or divorce herself from him.
 

shabnum

Junior Member
:salam2:

brother jazakallah khair for replying to my question may Allah(saw) reward you for that inshallah ameen.

i have emailed her the info and evidence of that, it should help her inshallah.


:wasalam: jazakallah khair
 

Mabsoot

Amir
Staff member
Wa alaykum Salam,

This is against the Shari'ah.

Forced Marriage is Haram. The Prophet :saw: said so.

2> Such a marriage is not legal. Some of the scholars even say that the people who live together as a forced couple are not living together as husband and wife, but are living just like an unmarried couple. The Marriage pact between husband and wife only stands when they are both fully consenting to the marriage.

There is plenty of evidence from the Hadith and also the Ulema' (scholars) of Islam. The Words of the Prophet :saw: must suffice, as the brother before mentioned

Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: "The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Consult women about (the marriage of) their daughters. (Translation of Sunan Abu-Dawud, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 11, Number 2090)"
This is a command from the Prophet :saw:. Both parties in the marriage must be consulted. It is a matter of choice.

‘Aa’ishah reported that a girl came to her and said, “My father married me to his brother’s son in order to raise his social standing, and I did not want this marriage [I was forced into it].” ‘Aa’ishah said, “Sit here until the Prophet :saw: (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) comes. The Messenger of Allaah :saw: (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and she told him about the girl. The Prophet :saw: (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent for her father, then he gave the girl the choice of what to do. She said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have accepted what my father did, but I wanted to prove something to other women.” (Reported by al-Nisaa’i, 3217).

Unfortunately, due to some people's culture there are many UnIslamic things. In the South Asian culture there is much Hindu ritual and culture. Forced Marriages, looking down on women, treating girls unfairly etc Nothing to do with ISlam, it is to do with the Hindu and Sikh culture.

Even after the Prophet :saw: has forbidden this, how can they stick to the beliefs of the Mushriks (polytheists)? Have they no shame? They put their culture and backward rubbish infront of their Islam.

May Allah help the girl and guide her family to understand and implement Islam.
 

shabnum

Junior Member
:salam2:

jazakallah keep the hadithes coming in as much so she can print them out and show em to her family.

ohnestly jazakallah khair for your help may Allah bless you and reward you with jannah inshallah ameen.

:wasalam:
 

Umm Aysha

*Strive for Jannah*
Asalaamu Alaykum

That is so sad whats happening with your friend but she shouldnt self harm herself, her body in anyway. Its a gift from Allah also suicide is forbidden in islam...

Holy prophetic traditions which forbid suicide are numerous as related by Al-Bukhari, Muslim and others. Narrator Abu Huraira, said, the Messenger of Allah, said:

"Whoever purposely throws himself from a mountain and kills himself will be in the (Hell) Fire falling down into it and abiding therein perpetually for ever: and whoever drinks poison and kills himself with it, he will be carrying his poison in his hand and drinking it in the (Hell) Fire wherein he will abide eternally for ever; and whoever kills himself with an iron weapon, will be carrying the weapon in his hand and stabbing his abdomen with it in the (Hell) Fire wherein he will abide eternally forever".

In Sahih Al-Bukhari, on the authority of Abu-Huraira, the Messenger of Allah, said:

"He who commits suicide by throttling shall keep on throttling himself in the Hell Fire (forever) and he who commits suicide by stabbing himself shall keep on stabbing himself in the (Hell) Fire".

Please inform your friend with this evidence...

May a father force his virgin daughter who attained puberty to marry?

Two well-known opinions in this regard are reported from Ahmad:

That he may compel her. This is also the opinion of Maalik, ash-Shaafi`ee, and others. That he may not. This is also the opinion of Aboo Haneefah and others, and is the correct one.

People have differed as tot he reason permitting the compulsion: whether it is virginity, the daughter being under-aged, or a combination of both. The closest opinion to the truth is her being under-aged, whereas no one can compel a grown-up virgin in marriage. Aboo Hurayrah, radhiallahu `anhu reported that the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, said:

"A non-virgin woman may not be married without her command, and a virgin may not be married without her permission; and enough permission for her is to remain silent (because of her natural shyness)." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim, and others]

Thus the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, prohibits forcing a virgin in marriage without her permission, whether it be her father or someone else. Furthermore, `Aa';ishah, radhiallahu `anhaa, said that she asked the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, "In the case of a young girl whose parents marry her, should her permission be sought or not?" He replied, "Yes, she must give her permission." She then said, "But a virgin will be shy, O Allaah’s Messenger." He answered:

"Her silence is [considered as] her permission." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim, and others]

This applies to the father as well as others. Furthermore, Islaam does not give the father the right to use any of her wealth without her permission, how then could he be allowed to decide, without her permission, how her body (which is more important than her wealth) is to be used, specially when she disagrees to that and is mature to decide for herself?

Also, there is evidence and concensus in Islaam to restrict an underage person’s free control of his wealth or person. However, to make a virginity a reason for the restriction contradicts the Islaamic basis.

As for the difference between the non-virgin and virgin in the hadeeth of the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, it is not a differentiation between compulsion and non-compulsion; the difference between the two cases is that (a) the former gives her instructions for the marriage whereas the latter gives permission, and that (b) the virgin’s silence counts as a permission. The reason for this is that a virgin would be shy to discuss the matter of marriage, so she is not proposed to directly; rather, her walee (guardian) is approached, he takes her permission, and then she gives him the permission not the command to marry her.

And as for a non-virgin, she would not have the shyness of virginity anymore; thus she can discuss the matter of her marriage, she can be proposed to, and she gives the command to her walee to perform the marriage, and he must obey her.

Thus the walee is command-executor in the case of the non-virgin, and is permission-seeker in the case of the virgin. This is what the Prophet's words indicate. As for compelling her to marry despite her loathing to do so, this would contradict the fundamentals and reason. Allaah ta`ala did not permit a walee to force her to sell or rent her property without her permission. Neither did He permit him to force her to eat or drink or wear that which she does not wish.

How would He then oblige her to accompany and copulate with a person whose company she hates - at the time when Allaah ta`ala has sent between the two spouses love and mercy? If such company happens despite her hatred and repulsion, where is the love and mercy? .

Translated by Aboo `Abdillaah Muhammad al-Jibaalee

wasalam
 

Globalpeace

Banned
Asslamo Allaikum Sister,

Unfortunately this does happen in our communities; However having dealt with some issues in the past....In my experience she has choices available:

1) There are Muslim Sister Organisations that can help her (See Muslim Yellow Pages)....Please reply if you need help in locating them

2) There are web-sites (Muslim & Non-Muslim) that can also help....Please reply if you need help in locating them

3) She can also engage members of family/community (Imam etc.) whom she trusts to speak to her Parents/family about it...

4) At the absolute extreme you can engage the Government (Council etc.)

In my experience Sisters usually like the 3rd route...one of the sisters just wanted to speak to someone so we directed her to another Sister who kept in touch regularly

It is imperative that someone keeps in touch with her as much as she can....but if she wants to be left alone then give her space as people have different coping mechanisms but still let her know that someone is around to talk/help etc...

Jazakullah Khairun

P.S: In my humble experience this is NOT about evidence or lack of Islamic knowledge rather it’s about stubbornness and family pressures from back home. But may Allah (SWT) give them the ability to act on the Sunnah once it has been made clear to them (Ameen).
 

shabnum

Junior Member
:SMILY23: i feel really sad for her but i told her just abit ago doent do anything silly and just have faith in Allah (Swt) i know it must be hard for you but inshallah Allah will make it easier for you ameen.

sisters and brothers jazakallah :jumpclap:
 
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