How can we get muslims to let go of their cultural habits which are not islamic?

[dawahforever]

Asalaamu Alaikum

Ok here's the scenario..we are invited to a waleemah..supposed to start at 5..but dinner is not served until 8Pm! By this time the kids are starving but we are not allowed to feed them because the food police are on patrol. But I get up anyway and give my daughter a drink and give my son a peice of food..he's a baby for crying out loud. At this point I am really feeling upset and so is my friend who has been fasting and only had a bite to break her fast! So finally the bride comes and they say we can eat...actually we cannot eat..oh no...only the men can eat first!!!!!! So while the kids starve a little longer the big healthy men grab the food! My fasting friend who is arab asks the Pakistani woman ( the marriage is for a pakistani) why the men get to eat first and she says just because. So I see my hubby in line and complain to him for the sake of my 1 yr old and 3 yr old and gets me a plate of food to give to them. Can you imagine this? And this marriage was to a convert...I cannot even imagine if her family had been there...I would have been so ashamed at that moment of the rotten behaviour in the mosque. When oh when will muslims give up their non-Islamic habits. This subjugation of women goes back to the hindus. Its time to start treating women and children like first class citizens. This is what Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) fought for so hard for the rights of the weak and helpless.

 

[BintMuhammad]

Wa alaikumussalaam,

Ummm I think in that scenario, the only unIslaamic thing I see is not allowing the kids not to eat and other people who are already extremely starving. With regard to letting the men eat first, I can't say that it's an implication of MEN are more important or higher in status than WOMEN because we really don't know what the reason behind that practice. It could be that they want MEN to finish first so that the WOMEN can comfortably get their food and not mix with each other but anyhow, in a Waleemah the male and female should be segregated.

With regard to your initial question, I think knowledge of what is in the Qur'aan and the Sunnah and fear of Allaah swt is the only way to abolish practicing those unIslaamic culture and tradition.

 

[Bawar]

Assalamu alaikum sister!

You brought up an important issue to our attention.
It is tragic and embarrasing that mulims from different backgrounds carry some crazy and uncivilised cultures with them in the name of islam.

What can i say about the culture of some muslims from the Indian subcontenent.
It is really sad picture.
There are too many things that are directly copied from hinduism.

Jahiz (money and household appliances that a woman has to pay to her husband to be during the marriage ceremony) is one big example.

Hindus have built sculptures at the corners and squares of the towns
for worshiping inorder to answer to their varying prayers and needs.

Muslims have copied something similar.
They have turned the graves into shrines almost in every town.
Different towns and cities have shirnes of small and big calibre.
The dead people are held in a very high esteem and used in prayers as a means of nearing to Allah s.w.t.

An average muslim may not go to a mosque in years, but will certainly go to these shrines at different occasions.

Seekhs (followers of another religion in india) play music at their shrines and so do muslims in their shrines and call it Qawali.

Very basic islamic knowledge in the general public is almost non existant.
Beliefs and actoins are formed on the basis of hearing things from this and that.

Muslims need a big revolution, revolution of knowledge.

Wassalam

 

[IslamIsLight]

salam aleikum

Muslims need a big revolution, revolution of knowledge.

Very well said brother,I agree on that

waaleikum salam

 

[dna1987]

Salam alaikum.

I've noticed this at some gatherings too - the men will get the food first and leave, and then the women will get their food after. I thought it should be the other way around :confused.

But I've also noticed that the women like to sit around the table area so it could be looked at in a good light too. I guess.

 

[Southrn_Muslimah]

:salam2:

I never really see this type of thing happen at my community. We have a huge cafeteria area segregated off and a huge kitchen. Everyone receives food at the same time. I am sorry to hear that this happened to your children.

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Come on people...quit complaining. First of all..only the English keep time..nobody else pays attention to time....feed the kids a snack and relax..nothing starts on time...it's called fun...
you know when you are invited to a function it is going to be a couple of hours late...there is a wondeful expression in the united stated" CPT:..it means colored people's time...and we are people of color.
There is no rudeness..
we have more important issues to think about.

 

[Shahzad]

i never understand that why there was such a restriction on eating before any one. Here, we dont have this restriction. Every one is free to act on its "religion" .. lol

This may be a mistake. May ALLAH forgive us all

 

[user expired!]

asalamualaykum,

That is quite odd? this is very Stupid ting to do (make kids starve) children when they get hungry become a pain and get restless!


Next time send ur Kids to Your Husband and then they can it first.

or Go to the local chippy and giv them something to eat.

 

[goldenmuslimah21]

wa alaikum salam to answer the question we can stop exhibiting our cultural habits once we pratice islam correctly

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

If I wree a mother the Islamic thing to do would be to feed my children. So I would've just simply walked up there and skipped these greedy men and served my child a plate of food. Honestly they should be ashamed.

~Sarah

 

[MubarekMuslimah]

Salaams

I can totally sympathise with you. And its not fun - I have been at many a wedding like that

Salaams Mirjamom - with all due respect I think the lateness IS a big deal. Yes I am English and apprently we are the only ones who keep time - does it mean we are wrong?? No....I happen to believe that keeping people waiting is rude and disrespectful as it send the message that you dont care and you dont think they have anything better to do/better place to be....Im talking about being late in all scenarios...

Yes in the case of a wedding a degree of lateness is to be expected but not 3 hours!! What is the reason for the delay?? Its not really fun at all for those kept waiting and what are the better things that have to be done/...

People should be on time or as near to that time as they possibly can for the sake of keeping good relations with other people. To keep people hungry too is not on....they are the hosts, they should care about their guests -= how can they expect full rewards from Allah swt insha'allah for feeding everyone if they are the cause of making them so hungry in the first place??!?

Anyway sorry if I say anything out of turn....the habitual lateness drives me nuts and I find it rude...and people always take the mickey out of English people for being on time like its a bad things....its not!

As for the men going first - that is odd though....cos most weddings I have been to the men eat second because they eat so much it makes sense for the women and children to go first insha'allah otherwise there isnt anything left! lol...

As I said - may Allah swt forgive me if I said anything wrong....just my feelings...

Wasalaams

 

[dawahforever]

Salaam,

Come on people...quit complaining. First of all..only the English keep time..nobody else pays attention to time....feed the kids a snack and relax..nothing starts on time...it's called fun...
you know when you are invited to a function it is going to be a couple of hours late...there is a wondeful expression in the united stated" CPT:..it means colored people's time...and we are people of color.
There is no rudeness..
we have more important issues to think about.

What snack? we weren't allowed to touch the food!

 

[dawahforever]

Salaam,

If I wree a mother the Islamic thing to do would be to feed my children. So I would've just simply walked up there and skipped these greedy men and served my child a plate of food. Honestly they should be ashamed.

~Sarah

I think next time I will..I guess I will just have to deal with being even more hated in my mosque than I already am! or maybe I won't bother to go again.

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

In another post I said there are really only two things that one is never late for: birth and death outside of that everything is relative..from my perspective how do you put a timeline on fun? We can only have fun between the hours of six and nine...the party starts when I get there and ends when I leave...it is not rude...I am not English and I make fun of those stuffy people..it is perspective...just because they are boxed in does not mean the rest of the world is rude...it simply means the rest of the world is on thier own timeline...
as for children...like I said...you give them a snack at home before you leave..children never eat the food that is going to be served..I give my sons a snack;
Why are we trying to westernize the Indo-Pakistani culture...we can't and it takes all the fun out...I know in the Black culture here it is very relative...and you get there when you get there ...
Chill out people...

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Come on sisters..you feed your children at home...no matter where you go...you feed the kids at home...they are happy and find friends and run around and you can take your time eating etc.
You feed your children a snack at home regardless of what culture...think of thanksgiving..they serve the meal around two...yes, my sons are given a snack or else I will go crazy.....

 

[dawahforever]

I never heard of feeding your kids before being invited to a meal. And my kids do eat the food...when they finally get it. I don't see any fun in waiting around..I don't get it. You almost fall asleep while the speakers are talking over the lousy pa system and all the women ignore you and then you don't even get to eat..wow, great time..can't wait to go back. NOT!!!

 

[Mabsoot]

salam aleikum

Muslims need a big revolution, revolution of knowledge.

Wassalam

Very well said brother,I agree on that

waaleikum salam

:salam2:

Yep.. .

There are many things some Muslims all over the world do that have nothing to do with Islam and which go against our teachings!!

And some people have audacity to cling onto their ignorant cultural beliefs even when the truth is presented to them from Quran and Sunnah.

wasalam

 

[Abu_Luqmann]

Assalamualikum,
I do fully agree with you. I believe that we all have an obligation to do things on time. As we all know we pray on time, we commence and break out fast on time, etc. Islam has taught us to have a sense of timing and punctuality, which we should try to practise in our daily life.

And Allah knows best.

salams

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

As we have an obligation to do things on time..please tell me why I can not get one person to write to a detainee who has nothing but time on their hands. Here we are wasting time...why can we not spend better time serving Islam.
I see nothing but complaining. That is unIslamic. It is immature. We have Muslims who die because they are unable to get immediate medical care..for heaven's sake 2000 people lost their lives and need help and we have people moaning and complaining about customs...
People are not going to let go of cultural habits..it is home and comfortable. If you don't like them hang with the culture you like..
let the men eat first and that gives women time to eat and clean up and make plates for everyone and chill. Each man thanks me personally, and ladies I hate to inform you...it makes the men proud that you are thier wives.