How should a wife get her husband to pray his Salaah?

Sister S

Junior Member
:salam2:

how should a wife who prays her Salaah get her husband, who does not pray, to pray his Salaah?

what could she do or say to help him?

:jazaak: to anyone who helps.

:blackhijab:

:wasalam:
 

Akilah

Junior Member
Assalam Alaikum Sister,

May Allah be pleased with you for your sincere concern. This is a very important matter and Inshallah many of the other sisters who are more steadfast in their prayer than myself can answer this question with tips and vice, as even I sometimes miss prayers from sleeping in. Inshallah I can become better to, please make duaas. Nevertheless, I will still try to answer this question.

As for inspiring one's husband to pray, I think that the best way to do this is through gently remindind him when it is time, to pray. So like you see it's zuhr time, so say out loud if you are sitting with him, "oh it's zuhr time honey, I'm going to pray" and then go and pray yourself. Often the best way to show others is to lead by example, and if you are already steadfast in your prayer try and make a point of kind of making it obvious instead of just quietly leaving every time to pray, at the same time still be soft and pleasant as you " catch more flies with honey than you can with a spoon" as my mom says. It also might be easier for you to inspire him to pray the prayers after fajr because maybe he is not ready to start getting up at that time, so if you do talk to him about it, tell him that while it is obligatory to make all prayers, he can start off slowly and do the prayers he can and then when his taqwa increases he will have the inclination to get up and pray fajr himself. Also, you may want to talk about death more and more, not necessarily in an overly morbid way, but you know just kind of start conversations about it. For instance, if you are watching the news and you seem them talking about a tragedy or car accident or something, say something like" innah lillahi wa innah lillahi rajaoon, and then say you know honey it's so crazy that death is so sudden you know, these people they had no idea when they woke up that day that they would die" you can go on to talk about how even yourself feel like you aren't ready for death because you wonder how God will judge you and how there are so many more good things you need to do in your life etc. etc. Inshallah this will get him thinking and may make him want to pray more. If you do bring it up very directly then remind him that our salat is the first thing that we will be asked about and then tell him about the hadith where it says that if our salat is good than all the rest of our deeds will be good but if our salat is bad then all the rest of our deeds will be bad. Remind him that it is never too late to start praying and that if his salat isn't good on the scales, his nafl prayers will be counted as fard prayers and this can help him.

You may also want to watch this video with him or email it to him. Someone in another forum that I watch posted it for another person because the person was a hedonist and had an instant gratification philosophy and didn't pray or anything like that. So basically this video is showing how when you die that's it, no more of the world and all of the things we always cared about. It's about 6 minutes or less.

http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=7302860369550141830&q=dust+is+my+bed


here are some hadith about salat, maybe you could email them or talk to him about them. or make him a beautiful scrapbook and put them in it, and put other things in the book. like the theme could be 'what i love about you' and then one of the pages could be that you love that he is a Muslim and that you both have love for Allah, and then you could put some hadith on the page and things like that. He may really appreciate the gift and since it wont totally be about salat it won't be like you are ramming it down his throat to pray and might put things into perspective for him. Inshallah some other sisters can also post you some info as my advice is just a few strategies and im sure many of the other sisters can give you much better ideas.

some hadith:

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said,
"There are angels who take turns in visiting you by night and by day, and they all assemble at the dawn (Fajr) and the afternoon (`Asr) prayers. Those who have spent the night with you, ascend to the heaven and their Rubb, Who knows better about them, asks: `In what condition did you leave My slaves?' They reply: `We left them while they were performing Salat and we went to them while they were performing Salat.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Jarir bin `Abdullah Al-Bajali (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: We were sitting with the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) when he looked at the full moon and observed,
"You will see your Rubb (Lord) in the Hereafter as you see this moon having no difficulty in seeing it. So try your best to perform the prayers before the rising of the sun and that before its setting.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Abu Musa (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said,
"He who The observes Al-Bardan (i.e., Fajr and `Asr prayers) will enter Jannah.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Jundub bin Sufyan (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said,
"He who offers the dawn (Fajr) prayers will come under the Protection of Allah. O son of Adam! Beware, lest Allah should call you to account in any respect from (for withdrawing) His Protection.''
[Muslim].

Abu Zuhair `Umarah Ruwaibah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) saying:
"He who performs Salat (prayers) before the rising of the sun and before its setting, will not enter the Hell.''
[Muslim].

At-Tirmidhee narrated upon the authority of Al Ghamdi that the Prophet (sallallaahu-alaihi-wasallam) said:
"O Allah bless my Ummah in its early rising!" and whenever he dispatched an expedition or army he sent them early at the beginning of the day. Sakhr was a merchant who always sent his merchandise early in morning thus, becoming wealthy (3). That is why we find the craftsmen and traders are particular about making good use of this time. Those who sleep up to the late morning have denied themselves the blessings of this early hour.

The Prophet (sallallaahu-alaihi-wasallam) said:
"Shaytaan ties three knots on the crown of any one of you in your sleep. He says upon each knot that he ties: "You have a long night before you, therefore sleep". But if you wake up and mention Allah, Most Exalted in remembrance one knot will be untied. If you then make ablution another knot will be undone. If you then proceed to pray the last knot will be disentangled. Thus, you will feel in the morning energetic and in good spirits. Otherwise you will feel in a despicable state, lazy".
[narrated by Maalik, Bukhaaree, Muslim and Abu Dawood]

Bukhari and Muslim and An-Nasaaee related on the
authority of Ibn Mas'ud (radiallaahu-anhu) that he said:
The case of a man who slept all the night up to sunrise (without waking up for Fajr) was related to the Prophet (sallallaahu-alaihi-wasallam) whereupon he said: "That was a man in whose ear Shaytaan has urinated", or he said "in both his ears".

p.s. final tip, don't look down on him or ever make him feel like you are judging him because this can put a big wedge btwn you. Inshallah this will never happen, and Allah will bless you with a wonderful marriage filled with love of each other and most important love of Allah. Ameen.
 

Sister S

Junior Member
:wasalam:

:jazaak: Sister. u wrote some great points and mentioned some great hadiths that inshallah with Allah swt's guidance will help make my husband see what he is doing wrong and how he can correct it.

:jazaak:

:blackhijab:
 

samiha

---------
Staff member
Assalamu alaykum.

I don't have any good advice from the top of my head... but sis just make dua...

Inshallah things will get better. :)

Wassalam.
 

talibulislam

Junior Member
just make duah

just keep praying your salah,make duah for him,if he still don't pray, pour a bucket of cold water at him early in the morning lol.
just joking continue your effort at least your salah & recitation of quran in the house,try to remove time wasteing things out of the house or cut on them like tv & newpaper ext
so u could have more time to sit togather & talk.
make duah,nothing is more stronger & effective then duah.
may allah give all of us hidaya inshallah
 

Believe2Succeed

Junior Member
:wasalam:

:jazaak: Sister. u wrote some great points and mentioned some great hadiths that inshallah with Allah swt's guidance will help make my husband see what he is doing wrong and how he can correct it.

:jazaak:

:blackhijab:

Salams Sister S:
Look sister this is coming from a husband. :arabi1:
Don't be offended.
But women have ways of getting their husband to comply.
If you love him and he loves you. And the relationship is not sour other wise. Then its very easy. You could test him with some things he really expects in the marriage from you. I don't want to get into detail. But you know what I mean. The private matters b/w the two. He needs his desires satisfied. Try to convey to him that it really hurts you to see him loving you so much but building his grave of fire by not fulfiling his obligation. But don't be too harsh. try it a little at a time to stay away from him. InshAllah he will get the point!
and will be busy in :salah:
 

Umm3mar

Junior Member
Salamo Aleikom

A husband is the head of the household. The woman is the heart.

When it is time to pray, tell him you need him to be the Imam. He is your husband, he should lead you in prayer. This is a gentle way to "force" him to pray.

May Allah reward you for the effort, insha'allah.
 

sugarbb

Junior Member
Assalammualaikum sister,

Our approach towards our husband have to be right. Don't ever be harsh, speak with a nice,low tone. I always ask my husband to lead (be an imam) in a prayer, everytime he is around at home. And i always remind my son to take ablution, be thankful to Allah for all that we have. Indirectly, my husband will stand and take ablution too and we perform prayer together. All this done with a soft approach, InsyaAllah.
 

abou haytam

Junior Member
i want just to say sister that your husband have a gift that i dream for. i want a wife to beat me if i miss my salat i want a wife to fight with me even i did a wrong thing in my islam. i am so happy to hear those avisesespetialy from sisters...that mean that this Umma is still alive wal hamdo lillah.

i can tell you something that make me shame on mewhen i was badmuslim.

1) when he put music in the car or in radio..turn it off and tell him ``gentally`` you prefer to hear qoran and put qoran.
2) remember him everytime you went to pray that the last thing that our prophet said in his last hours and minut in this life ..is assalah.

3) put books and cd of islam everywhere in your house in your car ( everytime he find something he will took a loook on it).

4)don`t push him to it (salat).

5) make dua for him.

6) as a wife and of course you love him, show him how you are sad that he don t pray...and maybe you will not be togther in the other life.
 
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