assalamu alaykum, im sorry to hear about this, its important that you find a good trustworthy Imam from the masjid and discuss these issues. You do need help, and Islam is on your side sister.
Although, perhaps unfair to write any answer without knowing both sides of the story, from what is written it is evident that this man is using Islam for his own selfish reasons. He also sounds quite childish (with the video game playing and demand for 10 children).
If a man is violent, of course women can get divorced. This is actually something good to do, in such situation for your safety and that of your children. He can not say it is "not from the sunnah" for you to live on your own with your kids. Divorce is something legislated in the Qur'an and it is not obligatory for people to get married nor is it bad for you to live on your own with your children.
Put your trust in Allah subhana wa ta'ala sister, if this situation carries on you may find yourself getting weaker and weaker in the Deen. You need time to learn more and grow strong in knowledge and iman.
Objecting to a second wife etc, is normal, im sure you understand that this is something allowed in Islam, but that does not mean that because you do not like it for yourself that you do not accept the concept. So, this is a common form of emotional-blackmail where a lot of men use the Deen to put across their ideas, rather than to have patience and look at long-term situation for the whole family unit.
Also, it seems that he is unable to support you properly or take care of you, especially with his violent ways. He said you are a kafr, its also a major sin, to call a Muslim a Kafr, no God fearing person would resort to that.
This is not the type of man who should be rushing into getting married again. Rather, he has to be humble enough to accept his mistakes and make efforts in rectifying his behaviour. This is an obligation upon him.
Sister, it is extremely important that you seek out help and advice from your Muslim community. To see the Imams, call them up, make appointments discuss with them, discuss with the senior sisters in the community. Do Not be Shy. This is your life, the life of your children, your future. Islam has given you rights, take them, these are the rights that Allah has given to you. Nobody can take those away, no man or woman.
I will close this thread because a public forum is not the best place to get help in such matters. inshaAllah you know what to do for your next step, as outlined in this post and some of the posts above .
assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh