I am engaged.

safaa27

New Member
Asalaam Malikum,

Its me again posting, but I have no one esle to talk to but you guys my muslim brothers and sisters. I want to tell you my whole story about me and my fiance met and how I wasnt muslim yet. This was back in summer 2009 in Jersey City, NJ. I was at a friends house visiting them and he so happen to be there at the same time. He asked me out and we did go out and get to know each other. I did not know anything about islam, until he brought it up. I really did not pay attention sometimes when he talked about it but when i really wanted to know more about it, it drawn me closer to Allah (swt) this feeling never made me feel more complete in my life. the things that have i gone through in life made things alot more better knowing the life being a muslim. praying 5 times a day made so much more sense to me know than it had ever before. He had help me to know more about islam what the dunya is what is haram what is not. he reminds me alot all about it and allhadulih that he had propossed to me and I am wiling to spend my life with him inshaallaah. But sometimes he takes to much of his culture out of me that i cant understand he is Arabic and im not. we totaly grew up in different ways and how i grew up, with out a father having step sister and etc. But sometimes i feel like we are not ment to get married im always mad and angry because he would leave me by my self at home doing nothing. Are we muslim women suppose to be stuck at home doing nothing at all in out lives? I work 5 times a week, he hasnt managed to look for a job yet, he always says tomorrow. He barely spends time with me and sometimes i get sick of it and i just really want to go home to my family and be with them (back in the Philippines). I dont feel the same way as it was before with me and him. All i want to do right now is to be home with my siblings and my mom. thats all. should i go for going back to the Philippines? Or should i stay and be patient inshaallah things might go back in place? i dont know im confused and scared.

:tti_sister:
 

ahmed_indian

to Allah we belong
:wasalam:,

in Islam, prospective partners meet each other in presence of girls' mahram.

we are not allowed to meet a lot with our wife-to-be. maybe thats why he is avoiding it. talk to him, look into matter. sometimes suspicions are enough to destroy relationships.

pray salah istikhara to seek Allah's help whether you should marry him or not.

women are encouraged to stay at home. but its for their own benefit. dont you come across all these affairs and crimes, due to mixing of men and women? but it doesnt mean that u have to stuck in home. there are so many household related work. also you can have Islamic gatherings with ur frnds, home-based jobs, etc.
 

Imad

Junior Member
Assalamoelaikoem warahmatullahi wbarakatuh,

See what is best for your belief as a muslima. Faith comes in the first place. Now you are a muslima and i think you know how to distinguish between wrong and right.

So take the right dicision insha Allah...

At this moment i can not say much, because i don't know what you mean by engagement. Do you mean by this you are married?

Take care

Wassalamoelaikoem warahmatullahi wbarakatuh
 

believers_path

Junior Member
assalam
ya as Imad have said above unless you are not into Nikah He is not your mehram, its better you talk to him wats the matter,is the purpose same that he want to be within sharia then you must go back to your parents..
 

shichemlydia

Junior Member
salam alikoum sister,
my advice to you is to stay in the USA and wait for your marriage, if you go back to a non muslim environment (philipines) you may loose your faith and your fiance all together, it is not easy for a new muslim to keep on in discouraging environments. and allah knows the best
may allah swt help you to cope with this situation
wa salam alikoum
 

believers_path

Junior Member
A Muslim - holds strongly to Islamic principles, but yet is adaptable to change when applying them in response to contemporary issues and challenges.

A Muslim - is morally and spiritually strengthened to face the challenges of modern society, especially the changing economy.

A Muslim - knows about Islamic history and civilization, and is intellectually equipped to understand Islam and contemporary issues of the Islamic world.

A Muslim - believes that a good Muslim is also a good citizen.

A Muslim - is well adjusted to living in a secular state and multi-religious society, and contributes to global humanity, including taking leadership roles.

A Muslim - is progressive, keeps up with the demands of modern society and practices Islam beyond rituals or form.

A Muslim - appreciates the richness of other civilizations, and is self-confident enough to interact with others and is prepared to learn from them.

A Muslim - is inclusive and practices pluralism where this does not go against Islamic principles.
 

rightpath_357

Junior Member
Sis- the best way is to sit down and talk with him. Calmly tell him what you think, and try to work it out. If that doesn't work, go back to Philipines. :)

May Allah help you sis.
Lots of love from me!!!!!:hearts:

Salam:D
 

AbdurRahman91

New Member
Assalaamu ilikum wa rahmatullah.


Alhaamdulilah.

If he was the source of your Dawah, all praises be to Allah for guiding you.

But the means he went by doing it is not right.
And if you are guys are actually living together...and your not married is not right either.

I suggest you go back home but remember the fate of those who deviate after getting guidance from Allah. Indeed all things are due toAllah, and you owe nothing to this man, as Allah is the one who guided you, not he. And when he was mentioning what is haram and halal, he should have mentioned that free mixing is haram.

May Allah help you!
 
:salam2: I am so glad that Allah guided you to ISLAM. But somehow i am not sure about your fiance . First if he is the one who told you about Islam he should know better that you dont live with a woman before marriage. Second a man who is not willing to find a job i feel is not responsible. And marriage to an irresponsible man can make life really hard for you in the future. You should go and visit your family. But i feel you need to have a very calm heart to heart discussion with him without loosing your temper. Ask him why he is behaving this way but dont get angry. And again welcome to islam the most beautiful religion. but going out alone with men is a cultural thing in Arabia.
 
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