I don't feel safe in my heart...

[Sakeena]

I can't help but feel like he may do something. Am I overreacting? I don't know what to do..

 

[a_stranger]

:salam2:

Dear sister, calm down though I don't know exactly what are you going through , but I thing calmness , patience can solve many problems. I pray that Allah make things easy .

 

[Islam!!yay]

:salam2:

What are you talking about sis? Did you get into a fight with your husband? I pray you well Insha Allah!

 

[Sakeena]

:salam2:

What are you talking about sis? Did you get into a fight with your husband? I pray you well Insha Allah!

no, with my father.

I've tried to meet his demands but its impossible to follow.

I feel like a big joke. He doesn't treat me the way I deserve to be treated and I always feel very nervous and anxious around him. I always feel like I messed up on something when I am around him...

The emotional abuse has to stop!

 

[a_stranger]

Dear sister , I am sure that he loves you , every father loves his kids , please try to treat your father in the best way you can .....talk with him quietly and with respect , don't pay attention to his negative remarks , do what he ask you to do accept disobeying Allah subhanahu wa taala ......please sister train yourself to hold your emotions:muslim_child: and control your nerves :angryred:.....this will make you closer to Allah and happier .Show him the great manners of Islam I know it is not easy but we have to do so.

 

[Sakeena]

Dear sister , I am sure that he loves you , every father loves his kids , please try to treat your father in the best way you can .....talk with him quietly and with respect , don't pay attention to his negative remarks , do what he ask you to do accept disobeying Allah subhanahu wa taala ......please sister train yourself to hold your emotions:muslim_child: and control your nerves :angryred:.....this will make you closer to Allah and happier .Show him the great manners of Islam I know it is not easy but we have to do so.

no, I'd rather just leave. It's not fair I have to respect his outrageous demands and he can treat me like crap. This isn't helping..

 

[Islam!!yay]

:salam2:

Ohh! I've been there sis. With my dad, he can be unpredictable at times. Where's you mom? I'm sure she wiill help you. Like a_stranger said no matter what be kind to your dad.And if you fear that he might physically harm you, I suggest call a family member. Insha"Allah I will pray for you for everything to get better.Stay strong and be patient sis.

 

[Sakeena]

:salam2:

Ohh! I've been there sis. With my dad, he can be unpredictable at times. Where's you mom? I'm sure she wiill help you. Like a_stranger said no matter what be kind to your dad.And if you fear that he might physically harm you, I suggest call a family member. Insha"Allah I will pray for you for everything to get better.Stay strong and be patient sis.

don't U wish you would high five them in the face with a chair? Lol. heheheheheh.. yes, pease make duaa. Ameen! I'll stay strong.

I hope I don't go mad! :angryred:

This is very hard.

 

[Islam!!yay]

don't U wish you would high five them in the face with a chair? Lol. heheheheheh.. yes, pease make duaa. Ameen! I'll stay strong.

I hope I don't go mad! :angryred:

This is very hard.

hmm not really lol but yes stay strong sis, I had to go through this many a times in the past. And Insha'Allah i dont have to go through it again. I'll make dua for the both of us.

:salam2:

 

[a_stranger]

Please sister read the translation the verses from Quran:

(34. The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better, then verily he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.) (35. But none is granted it except those who are patient -- and none is granted it except the owner of the great portion in this world.) (36. And if an evil whisper from Shaytan tries to turn you away, then seek refuge in Allah. Verily, He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower.)

 

[Ershad]

Assalamu Alaikkum warahamatullahi wa barakatuhu,

Sister, I want you to reflect upon one quote I read recently:

“If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?”

I hope you find answers to your problems soon. May Allah Guide you.

 

[Noor El-Huda]

Sister I don't know if it would help what i'm gonna say.

When someone is behaving badly, you may look at the situation from an angle somethng like: "Alhamdullilah I am not like that". It's a kind of a disease or a weakness, which is the lack of proper control of behaviour, and they can help it if they really put their mind to it. The prophet pbuh taught us that when we see someone with an illness, we should thank Allah swt that we don't have the same, and we make dua for the ill person to get better.

So, in a way you can try and pitty this sort of person, because they don't know any better. When we pitty someone, we tend to take what they say/do less personally.I came across a person who was like you mentioned. This person believe it or not, used to envy clam people, used to wonder how they do it, how they sort what upsets them in a mannerly way.

It is a difficult matter to deal with. You can work towards ignoring the negativity of what they say. There are techniques that you can read up on and work towards building: how to diffuse anger ; how to turn a tense situation into a manageable one. Think how counsellors deal with difficult clients. Sometimes what helps is when you tune into the person's feelings, show a lot of understanding, show much appreciation on the slightest positive behaviour. Parents like to feel they're good parents. Start with the praising of the positive things that he did. It could gear him towards trying to maintain or reviving that reputatation. Sometimes damaged relationships don't show results quick enough, but persevere.

You know the saying "Kill them with kindness".

The prophet pbuh taught us that kindness only brings good, and lack of it makes things ugly. (My translation to a hadith).

I once read that the one keen on the change is the one that needs to start the change. You want the results inshAllah, so think of the different approaches that may go down well with your father. May Allah swt give you the strength. Ameen!

 

[finding light]

Assalamu Alaikkum warahamatullahi wa barakatuhu,

Sister, I want you to reflect upon one quote I read recently:

“If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?”

I hope you find answers to your problems soon. May Allah Guide you.

Wonderful quote....

 

[Naima Ali]

:salam2:

I know sister that you are in a very bad conditions, but i think that your every problem will be solved very soon inshallah, because we are the followers of Allah, pray from Allah and everything will be solved, and i hope that you will get back your love from your dad. Ameen

 

[Tomtom]

As'alaamu Alaikkum Sakeena

We don't know the exact problems you are having but bear this mind when you are dealing with your parents.

Sahih International
And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. 31:14

 

[Sakeena]

As'alaamu Alaikkum Sakeena

We don't know the exact problems you are having but bear this mind when you are dealing with your parents.

Sahih International
And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. 31:14

Brother, I know this verse. I already know that.

I am a good daughter. The problem is my dad is not behaving like a good father should and I feel he's pushing me away.

 

[Sakeena]

hmm not really lol but yes stay strong sis, I had to go through this many a times in the past. And Insha'Allah i dont have to go through it again. I'll make dua for the both of us.

:salam2:

No? ROTFL!!

 

[a_stranger]

[CODE][CODE][CODE][/CODE][/CODE][/CODE]

Sister I don't know if it would help what i'm gonna say.

When someone is behaving badly, you may look at the situation from an angle somethng like:

"Alhamdullilah I am not like that". It's a kind of a disease or a weakness, which is the lack of proper control of behaviour, and they can help it if they really put their mind to it. The prophet pbuh taught us that when we see someone with an illness, we should thank Allah swt that we don't have the same, and we make dua for the ill person to get better.

So, in a way you can try and pitty this sort of person, because they don't know any better. When we pitty someone, we tend to take what they say/do less personally.

I came across a person who was like you mentioned. This person believe it or not, used to envy clam people, used to wonder how they do it, how they sort what upsets them in a mannerly way.

It is an absolutely difficult matter to deal with, and you can work towards ignoring the negativity of what they say. You can work towards building techniques. There are techniques that you can read up on; how to diffuse anger ; to turn a tense situation into a manageable one. Sometimes what could help a difficult situation is when you tune into the person's feelings, show a lot of understanding, show much appreciation on slightest positive behaviour. Parents like to feel they're good parents. Start with the praising of the positive things that he did. It could gear him towards trying to maintain it.

Sometimes damaged relationships don't show results quick enough, but persevere.

You know the saying "Kill them with kindness".

The prophet pbuhtaught us that kindness only brings good, and lack of it makes things ugly. (My translation to a hadith)

You can try and show a lot of understanding, tuning into a persons feelings. Think how counsellors deal with difficult clients.
J
I once read that the one keen on the change is the one the need to start the change. You want the results inshallah. so you can think of different approaches that may go down better with your father. May Allah swt give you the strength. Ameen!

:ma: sister , very nice post , may Allah reward you for it, I like to add that w e muslems deal with most loving forgiving God, if we forgive others , treat them nicely we are rewarded by Allah. Don't we have to collect hasanat ( good deeds ) to be saved on the day of judgment ?

Parents work hard for their children , they expect love, respect, understanding from their children and they deserve it. Most of our problems start when we look from our own side neglecting the other opposite side . To solve problem we should try put ourselves in the opposite side for a while to understand .

 

[Sakeena]

[CODE][CODE][CODE][/CODE][/CODE][/CODE]

:ma: sister , very nice post , may Allah reward you for it, I like to add that w e muslems deal with most loving forgiving God, if we forgive others , treat them nicely we are rewarded by Allah. Don't we have to collect hasanat ( good deeds ) to be saved on the day of judgment ?

Parents work hard for their children , they expect love, respect, understanding from their children and they deserve it. Most of our problems start when we look from our own side neglecting the other opposite side . To solve problem we should try put ourselves in the opposite side for a while to understand .

That's not it at all. You don't understand where I'm coming from with this. I do respect my dad. Yet he has no respect for me and doesn't treat me right.

 

[Sakeena]

Sister I don't know if it would help what i'm gonna say.

When someone is behaving badly, you may look at the situation from an angle somethng like:

"Alhamdullilah I am not like that". It's a kind of a disease or a weakness, which is the lack of proper control of behaviour, and they can help it if they really put their mind to it. The prophet pbuh taught us that when we see someone with an illness, we should thank Allah swt that we don't have the same, and we make dua for the ill person to get better.

So, in a way you can try and pitty this sort of person, because they don't know any better. When we pitty someone, we tend to take what they say/do less personally.

I came across a person who was like you mentioned. This person believe it or not, used to envy clam people, used to wonder how they do it, how they sort what upsets them in a mannerly way.

It is an absolutely difficult matter to deal with, and you can work towards ignoring the negativity of what they say. You can work towards building techniques. There are techniques that you can read up on; how to diffuse anger ; to turn a tense situation into a manageable one. Sometimes what could help a difficult situation is when you tune into the person's feelings, show a lot of understanding, show much appreciation on slightest positive behaviour. Parents like to feel they're good parents. Start with the praising of the positive things that he did. It could gear him towards trying to maintain it. Think how counsellors deal with difficult clients.

Sometimes damaged relationships don't show results quick enough, but persevere.

You know the saying "Kill them with kindness".

The prophet pbuhtaught us that kindness only brings good, and lack of it makes things ugly. (My translation to a hadith)

I once read that the one keen on the change is the one the need to start the change. You want the results inshallah. so you can think of different approaches that may go down better with your father. May Allah swt give you the strength. Ameen!

I didn't grow up knowing my father. I mean, I knew him, but didn't grow up around him, so had I known he was like this, I probably wouldn't have come to live with him..

I'm not looking for lectures. Please stop putting verses in my face, I know you're all trying to help but I just need someone to listen to me right now.. I feel so hurt inside, even though I am not crying or anything at the moment...

I just want to vent. Every time I make a thread to vent, people give me verses..