I need your help

[kayleigh]

Salaam brothers and sisters,

I have been given an exceptionally daunting task, which I'm sure you're all going to have to help me with. a good friend of mine was having a chat with his cousin (both are Muslim), and his cousin told him that he was concerned because his girlfriend was raised as being Muslim, but hates Islam and disagrees with a lot of it. His cousin asked him if he could get me to talk to her, and of course I agreed. I guess they both think she's more likely to listen to a girl, and a convert.

So, how do I go about reviving someone's interesting in Islam? I know all things happen by the will of Allah (swt), and I am praying about it, but I need tips on what to say/what not to say from those who have done a lot of dawah.

I DON'T want to talk to her about how she shouldn't be dating. There's no point in talking about it since I know it'll just push her away again. I need to get her to stop hating Islam, not hate it more. The dating thing she'll have to come to terms with later when she has enough faith to care. She knows it's against Islam, otherwise she wouldn't hide it from her parents. She just doesn't care.

I'm pretty sure one of the contributing factors to her split with Islam is that she wants to take on the "fun" Western culture (which she sees as being non-Muslim in this case), and forget about her "stuffy" Eastern culture (which she sees as representing Islam). I know part of the problem is that she wants to be a hip, fashionable college student, who's free to make out with her boyfriend, and have no one to answer to. So I think I need to somehow show her that you can live a normal life, and have fun, yet still do/believe all the fun Muslim-y stuff (lol). I have to show her that it won't totally ruin her life to give up a few things that are against Islam, in time, and come back to it.

So yeah, advice would be much appreciated. and if you can't think of anything (or even if you can), I would ask that you pray that this girl can be guided back to Islam.

Wasalaam

PS - Sorry, I think I posted this in the wrong section.

 

[BintMuhammad]

Wa alaikumussalaam,

May Allaah swt reward you for your intention of helping this girl back to Islaam. My bestfriend had the same problem with her elder sister and they did everything to talk her into accepting Islaam but none worked until their father died. Their father's death woke her up and from then on she's ok Alhamdulillaah.

I'm not saying to have somebody killed to help her but I guess no matter how good the approach is, everything is still upto Allaah swt and ofcourse our Du'as. If I were in your shoes, I'd just tell her to think about death and the beauty of seeing paradise if we deserve it. Just be straight forward, she's not a new Muslim so she should atleast have an idea of how Allaah swt punishes those who turns their back off Islaam. May Allaah swt guide her back AMEEN.

 

[IslamIsLight]

salam aleikum sister
No its in the right section I think .
well this sounds like very hard situation but as u said all things happen by the Will of Allah SWT ...
I cant even advise anything ,but Its good if she meets u .Many muslims dont even know the meaning of Islam and may be she just doesnt know what Islam is ...
And by looking at u as example ,may be it will change smth in her .Sometimes ppl get into bad company and thats when they change .It very much depends who is around u,espessialy in college....
U know I have an idea actually
May be u should take her to Halaqa in our Mosque on friday.Im going tomorrow inshaAllah ,just not sure what time its gonna be

waaleikum salam

 

[palestine]

Salaam brothers and sisters,

I have been given an exceptionally daunting task, which I'm sure you're all going to have to help me with. a good friend of mine was having a chat with his cousin (both are Muslim), and his cousin told him that he was concerned because his girlfriend was raised as being Muslim, but hates Islam and disagrees with a lot of it. His cousin asked him if he could get me to talk to her, and of course I agreed. I guess they both think she's more likely to listen to a girl, and a convert.

So, how do I go about reviving someone's interesting in Islam? I know all things happen by the will of Allah (swt), and I am praying about it, but I need tips on what to say/what not to say from those who have done a lot of dawah.

I DON'T want to talk to her about how she shouldn't be dating. There's no point in talking about it since I know it'll just push her away again. I need to get her to stop hating Islam, not hate it more. The dating thing she'll have to come to terms with later when she has enough faith to care. She knows it's against Islam, otherwise she wouldn't hide it from her parents. She just doesn't care.

I'm pretty sure one of the contributing factors to her split with Islam is that she wants to take on the "fun" Western culture (which she sees as being non-Muslim in this case), and forget about her "stuffy" Eastern culture (which she sees as representing Islam). I know part of the problem is that she wants to be a hip, fashionable college student, who's free to make out with her boyfriend, and have no one to answer to. So I think I need to somehow show her that you can live a normal life, and have fun, yet still do/believe all the fun Muslim-y stuff (lol). I have to show her that it won't totally ruin her life to give up a few things that are against Islam, in time, and come back to it.

So yeah, advice would be much appreciated. and if you can't think of anything (or even if you can), I would ask that you pray that this girl can be guided back to Islam.

Wasalaam

PS - Sorry, I think I posted this in the wrong section.

:salam2: Dear sister you can help her but discussing akhira. Direct it at yourself....don't say you this, you that. but say something like "i wish i could do better in Islam, akhira is waiting and i wish to prepare for it the best way possible", that could start the person to think, they won't be able to ignore those types of thoughts because it haunts them. also try these steps
1- ask her what she's interested in, when she says it....ask her what makes her interested in that particular thing?
2- maybe even tell her of how you converted, what inspired you, why you chose Islam (tell the story with the best tone so that it touches her)
if i think of more. i'll send u a pm. i hope i helped. i don't think i have.

 

[kayleigh]

Palestine ^ you have helped, thank you.

salam aleikum sister
No its in the right section I think .
well this sounds like very hard situation but as u said all things happen by the Will of Allah SWT ...
I cant even advise anything ,but Its good if she meets u .Many muslims dont even know the meaning of Islam and may be she just doesnt know what Islam is ...
And by looking at u as example ,may be it will change smth in her .Sometimes ppl get into bad company and thats when they change .It very much depends who is around u,espessialy in college....
U know I have an idea actually
May be u should take her to Halaqa in our Mosque on friday.Im going tomorrow inshaAllah ,just not sure what time its gonna be

waaleikum salam

I reallllly wish I could go tomorrow night but I have to work all night But I'll try to get her to come some night.

 

[mohsofi_abdullah]

salam
i think this is a classic case of pure objection of islamic guidelines, thats all...
the lady sins just like we all do, only verbally in denial...
some of us realize that we sin and we ask for forgiveness, but some wont be so apologetic...
this could lead to gradually worsening her characters or she could make a 360 turn when she grows older...
this is a phase, and therefore, we should pray for her recovery...
tell her the we all love her for one reason only, THE SHAHADAH.
hopefully she will realize her wrongdoings, and we realize ours too...
salam

 

[Bluegazer]

Assalamu Alaikum sister Kayleigh,


Does this girl just hate Islam, or does she generally hate all religions? In other words, does she see Christianity or Judaism as better than Islam, or does she feel like she wants to be an atheist?


The reason I'm asking is because my advice would be more to the point if I knew the answers to the above questions.


Regards,

Bluegazer

Wassalamu Alaikum

 

[kayleigh]

Assalamu Alaikum sister Kayleigh,


Does this girl just hate Islam, or does she generally hate all religions? In other words, does she see Christianity or Judaism as better than Islam, or does she feel like she wants to be an atheist?


The reason I'm asking is because my advice would be more to the point if I knew the answers to the above questions.


Regards,

Bluegazer

Wassalamu Alaikum

I think she's leaning towards more agnostic/doesn't care. I think she believes in a God, she just doesn't care about following any dogma or guidelines.

 

[Bluegazer]

Assalamu Alaikum sister Kayleigh,


I would have had more to say if she was leaning towards Judaism or Christianity.


I hope that reading the book found on the following links will help her. The book is only 100 pages long:

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showpost.php?p=74045&postcount=1
http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showpost.php?p=74468&postcount=3


If you decide to present her this book, then I ask you to please read it first.


The following videos are recordings of a lecture given by Sheikh Yasir Qadhi. The lecture is called "Perfect Justice: Debunking the Male Bias Myth".


You'll probably say in yourself "I've heard it all before". However, I can assure you that Sheikh Yasir Qadhi has approached this topic from a new angle that will -God willing- pleasantly surprise you. Here are the six parts of this lecture, each part is about 10 minutes long:

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If she starts comparing the life of a practicing Muslim woman with the perceived freedom of Jewish and Christian women, then please post what she said on this thread and I will -God willing- respond to that.


Regards,

Bluegazer

Wassalamu Alaikum

 

[kayleigh]

Thanks for all the responses. I know now that she believes in God, but it's specific practices within Islam that she has problems accepting, like polygamy.

 

[Munawar]

:salam2:
I will pray for you sister. you are going to do a great work. Whether you succeed or lose you will get rewards for it. I hope and pray that you are able to make her realize that eventually she will go infront of Allah and answer for her deeds. For bad deeds she would face Jahanum and for good deed she will enter into Jannah wher she will live forever a wonderful life.

Good Luck sister.