I want to marry.......

The sister did the right thing?


  • Total voters
    8

helpinghumanity

Junior Member
Assalamo alaikum

Yesterday I attended an event organized by Hunter College MSA/WII. Brother Muhammad Elshinawy was asked to speak on a great topic which for now I will conceal because it will be my upcoming thread topic :).

During the Q&A session, a sister informed others that she is single and is looking to get married. To make long story short she asked if there is any eligible brother who would like to marry her. The question was written on an index card and was anonymously submitted to the speaker.

Now some may like what she did and some may dislike what she said. Irrespective of that, I would like you to think of what you would have done if you were in her situation. Furthermore I would like to turn this thread into a "learning Center" which describes different ways of looking and searching for life partner? So

What were different ways that sahabas (both male and female) utilized to inform others that they want to get married?
Were masajid ever utilized for that purpose?
Is it only the men who can propose a women? Or
a women is also allowed to propose a men?


Feel free to inform your personal story or a story from the times of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)..Jazakumullah Khairun...


SIDE NOTE: I don't know the sister who asked that question. I don't have her contact information and can't get it as well. So please no PMs regarding her..Thanks ..
 

MohammedMaksudul

May Allah Forgive us
:salam2:

Well I think she could make it not like this but rather tell her friends, etc. I have no specific knowledge about this issue.

On a side note: I was planning to ask you for her phone number. (Joking)
 

Hatty

Junior Member
I do not see any wrong doing in what the sister has done. I think it is fine and it is allowed in Islam. I think, Khadija, the first wife of the the prophet SAW, was the one who proposed to the prophet and wanted to marry him. Anyway, correct me if I am wrong....

So I pray that Allah will grant this sister and all other sisters a good husband inshallah...ameen.
 

alf2

Islam is a way of life
I do not see any wrong doing in what the sister has done. I think it is fine and it is allowed in Islam. I think, Khadija, the first wife of the the prophet SAW, was the one who proposed to the prophet and wanted to marry him. Anyway, correct me if I am wrong....

So I pray that Allah will grant this sister and all other sisters a good husband inshallah...ameen.

I was about to say the same thing, Khadidjia (may allah swt be pleased with her) did ask the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) to marry her =)

I am married and I dont know how to find a husband. He & I married before converting to Islam. But I think it would be best to tell her Imam? And maybe he could find her a single brother with a good deen. And perhaps he could chaperone a few meetings to make sure they have the same goals in this life insha allah.

I dont know, thats how I personally would go about it Islamically.
I am no scholar and feel free to add to this, or correct me.
 

Idris16

Junior Member
It was narrated that Thaabit al Banaani said: I was with Anas ibn Maalik and a daughter of his was with him.

He said: “A woman came to the Messenger of Allaah :)saw:) and offered herself in marriage to him. She said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, do you want to marry me?’”

The daughter of Anas said: “How little was her modesty. How shameless, how shameless!” Anas said: “She was better than you; she had a liking for the Prophet :)saw:) so she offered herself in marriage to him.

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4828.


Is it permissible for a Muslim woman to ask a Muslim man to marry her?
 

al-fajr

...ism..schism
Staff member
Assalamu'alaykum,

My reaction: She WHAT?! - I don't approve.

But that's just me, I've learned not to judge people when it comes to this, we have no idea of her personal situation, I've known sisters in deep predicaments who have to resort to strange measures, whats key is that it was anonymous ..although with that said, how did she expect to follow it through without identifying herself?

The daughter of Anas said: “How little was her modesty. How shameless, how shameless!” Anas said:
I think women generally do react like this ..^

PS: I came to this thread to say that there are too many threads related to marriage on the board (again), I think it comes in phases, but I hope we can try to inject some variation in thread topics please.
 

MuslimShadow

Junior Member
:salam2:

What if a brother was in her place?

Apply this to both the gender.

I think there are so many threads regarding marriage because most of the people are young here.

Anyways this thread is good and beneficial.:)
 

HappyMuslimah

Exams:Duas please!
:salam2:

I don't think she did anything wrong islamically. Whether or not she committed a social faux pas is another matter, but again I don't think she erred. Though it may seem a little forward of her to write such a message, she used her initiative and good on her for thinking outside the box! There is no reason why women must sit and wait passively for our princes to turn up on their slow white horses. LOL.
 

helpinghumanity

Junior Member
:salam2:
On a side note: I was planning to ask you for her phone number. (Joking)

Wa-alaikumus salam wa rahmatullah

The sister who asked the question was a student of Hunter college. Almost all the audience were the students of hunter college except few of us who went to see and benefit from the lecture of Brother Muhammad Elshinawy

So contact sister Shehnazz. It was her previous college ..:) ...

ALF2 said:
But I think it would be best to tell her Imam? And maybe he could find her a single brother with a good deen.

Brother Elshinawy is a well known imam. I would suggest you to listen to this lecture. Truely a master piece
Where Is This Woman?
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bR_AoLXViJs[/ame]
 

helpinghumanity

Junior Member
Assalamu'alaykum,

My reaction: She WHAT?! - I don't approve.

Wa-alaikumus salam wa rahmatullah

She has two choices
1) Marrying the halal way
2) Committing haram

Which one would you approve? We are living in a place (NYC) where following haram is very very very easy but being committed to deen is very hard.

whats key is that it was anonymous ..although with that said, how did she expect to follow it through without identifying herself?

Brother Elshinawy asked the sister to send him an email (he shared the email to the entire audience). His method of communicating with the sisters is that while replying to a sister he will CC his wife..

PS: I came to this thread to say that there are too many threads related to marriage on the board (again), I think it comes in phases, but I hope we can try to inject some variation in thread topics please.

Inshallah my next two threads are not related to marriage. Well one of them is the video/text form of a local brother who converted to Islam four month ago. He was an orthodox Jew. I am still undecided to make a video of his conversion story or just share the text-form of it.

Mashallah you are quite brilliant sister, so why not start something yourself that will benefit others :)
 

al-fajr

...ism..schism
Staff member
Wa-alaikumus salam wa rahmatullah

She has two choices
1) Marrying the halal way
2) Committing haram

Which one would you approve?
You yourself I am sure would agree that her measure was strange and out of the norm, you cannot then put me on the spot for disapproving and being of the opinion that such an action was quite possibly best avoided. It highlights a vulnerable single woman and essentially what she is doing here is placing her safety on the line and trusting the good nature of all those people in the room, its a leap in the dark.

As I previously said, I have learned not to judge, if she has no connections and no family to help her with this, no alternative, then good for her; I'd go as far as calling it a brave move.

We are living in a place (NYC) where following haram is very very very easy but being committed to deen is very hard.
True, but that hasn't got much to do with the topic because within the realms of Halaal options (the only options for the Muslims ofcourse) her action doesn't rank too high in what is the 'norm' - which is why I assume, you have a thread on it with a poll for different opinions.

Brother Elshinawy asked the sister to send him an email (he shared the email to the entire audience). His method of communicating with the sisters is that while replying to a sister he will CC his wife..
Thats good to know.

..why not start something yourself that will benefit others :)
Currently, I rely on all you people's choices of threads due to time constraints, however I intend to contribute more when time permits.

:salam2:
 
Top