Is a sexless marriage valid in Islam.

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Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,

I need help. Here goes and I need the time limits on this, please.

A couple is married and the wife has not had intercourse with the husband for one year. Is the marriage valid? Even if it is a medical condition is the marriage valid? What are the solutions for this? I need Islamic responses. Many thanks.
 

hayat84

I'm not what you believe
:salam2:
you raised a matter belonging to the only sisters' section to make everybody knows?????don't you feel guilty?why so much curiousness?read around the forum or search on google if marriage is valid,do you want a marriage to be broken just because of physical problems?please,moderators,make something to stop all this.this is a respectable forum,if everyone comes here and read matters about intimacy,it's better if he changes the site.:mad:
 

Mazhara

Junior Member
Assalaam alaikum,

I need help. Here goes and I need the time limits on this, please.

A couple is married and the wife has not had intercourse with the husband for one year. Is the marriage valid? Even if it is a medical condition is the marriage valid? What are the solutions for this? I need Islamic responses. Many thanks.

Respected Sister,

A serious mistake correction. It is not the wife that intercourses with her husband but it is the husband who may or might not have intercourse with his wife.

The Grand Qur'aan tells us:


We have not neglected mention a relevant thing in the Book-Grand Qur'aan. [Ref6:38]

The question is certainly not imaginary, situations do occur when a husband might not be able to discharge the liability of marrying a woman.

لاَّ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ إِن طَلَّقْتُمُ النِّسَاءَ مَا لَمْ تَمَسُّوهُنُّ أَوْ تَفْرِضُواْ لَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةً

There is nothing contracting/condemning/blemish-worthy liable upon you people if you divorce [for compelling reasons] your just wed-wives with whom you have not yet established intimate matrimonial association, or even might have not yet finalized your obligation for them. [Ref 2:236]

وَإِن طَلَّقْتُمُوهُنَّ مِن قَبْلِ أَن تَمَسُّوهُنَّ وَقَدْ فَرَضْتُمْ لَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةً فَنِصْفُ مَا فَرَضْتُمْ

And if you divorced [for compelling reasons] them/just-wed wives before that you might have physically established intimate matrimonial association [intercourse] with them, but you have since determined for them the obligation, thereby in such case half is due of what you had determined. [Ref 2:37]

The husband knows the reason why is he not establishing matrimonial linkage with his wife. If he finds himself incapable of establishing such relation the wife cannot and should not be kept in "hanging" state.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,

Sister,

This thread clearly asks for the validity of a sexless marriage in Islam. For many couples who go through the immigration process if there is no intimacy citizenship will be denied.

Please refrain from making assumptions. The questions I ask are not detailing any intimacy but are at the heart of a serious matter. Marriage is a contract and each partner has an obligation. What are the guidelines? This is an objective question deserving an answer.


I am asking a simple question and need an answer from Sharia. Why would I feel any guilt about a serious question? What about a mental condition?

Islam has answers for all problems.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,

Brother,

If in these days and times he has compassion and does not wish to divorce her can he maintain her and remarry?

Thank you for the correction. We live in a world where there is so much saving face etc. And this is a delicate subject. It is not my intention to be abrasive.

Am I correct in understanding that a man does not have to endure a sexless marriage? What about post consummation and progeny?


I read the link...wow...what a beautiful description of the unification bond...that is the most romantic phrase I have read...brings tears to these old eyes...now...each time I see the rain fall on the Earth I am going to cry.
 

Mazhara

Junior Member
I read the link...wow...what a beautiful description of the unification bond...that is the most romantic phrase I have read...brings tears to these old eyes...now...each time I see the rain fall on the Earth I am going to cry.

Believe me I did not write that in poetic mood. It is a physical reality. The moment you read how the "dead-abandoned Earth" feels and reacts on getting rain water as depcited by the sophisticated words in Qur'aan, you will wish you spouses express gratitude to Allah the Exalted for establishing affection and love embedded in this relationship, the first relationship that was created amongst humans.
 

Mazhara

Junior Member
If in these days and times he has compassion and does not wish to divorce her can he maintain her and remarry?

Talaq and English word "divorce" are actually not synonymous. Divorce is a seperation decreed by a competent court of law/authority. Talaq is only when the husband makes it public-evident to other members of the family that he has alienated his wife with regard to the "intimate relationship" which people think gets established once the husband and wife are in privacy in the bed room.

Whether or not they do sex in their privacy, people around them have the belief that they certainly do that. Pronouncement of Talaq-a verbal noun that denotes only action and resultant state is to be honest to people that the husband is not performing and she is in an alientaed state.

What you are asking, is it a hypothetical situation, or you are told by some lady that this situation has occurred where the husband did not perform for such long period but now he intends to have linkage and keep her in his wedlock.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,

My question is a derivative of a situation. I tend to take things to the nth degree...to the state of absolute.

I was inquiring to satisfy the need to give proper counsel. I am stuck on the hadith that angles curse a woman if she does not satisfy her husbands needs. As we are discussing physical needs and marriage is the solution to fulfilling needs I am in the what if phase.

If there is a medical condition and the wife for whatever reason can not satisfy the need..what are the recourse for the spouse? Is a man to remain in an anxiety ridden state? That makes no sense..a married man does not need to fast for this purpose. At what point is he able to seek another wife?

I am glad to understand the definition of talaq. So is talaq temporary? Even though I have read several books sometimes the obvious is difficult to see.


You stay on a site for as long as I have and you learn humility.
 

hayat84

I'm not what you believe
what would a married woman do if one day her husband,may Allah never wants this,gets ill and he can't phisically satsfy his wife?should she find another man because her husband is not enough?why a man is so blind in front of this,while a woman should be patient?does this matter about sexless marriage help you to give help to somebody else,or is it your personal curiousity?you're surely reverted from many years to Islam than me,and only now you need to clear your doubts?why didn't you ask it some years ago?:wasalam:
 

Precious Star

Junior Member
Assalaam alaikum,

I need help. Here goes and I need the time limits on this, please.

A couple is married and the wife has not had intercourse with the husband for one year. Is the marriage valid? Even if it is a medical condition is the marriage valid? What are the solutions for this? I need Islamic responses. Many thanks.

I believe for a marriage to be valid in Islam, you need 1) witnesses 2) mehr 3) consent by the bride and groom, and 4) a wali for the bride. And, the man can only marry frm the people of the book, and the woman can only marry a believer.

As to whether lack of sexual intercourse invalidates the marriage....well, there is no such thing as annulment in Islam. If the marriage is valid its valid. Failure to consummate can be grounds for divorce, but nullify a marriage? What if they fool around? See each others awrah etc? There are different forms of intimacy. Also, there are many elderly couples who don't have sex.....if they get married later in life, is their marriage invalid? Doubt it.
 

helpinghumanity

Junior Member
Wa-alaikumus salam wa rahmatullah

Please read the quoted fatwa below

Taken from ISLAMQA said:
If a married couple is living together without any marital/physical realation (not even once) and they are just like friends, is it halal in islam? and what is the position of such wife according to islam?.

Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:

It is not permissible according to sharee’ah for a man and woman who are non-mahrams to live together in the same house. Hence likening a couple living together without having intercourse to friends living together is not proper.

Both spouses must understand that one of the most important aims of marriage is guarding and maintaining chastity and producing offspring. This cannot be done without having intercourse.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged marrying the woman who is fertile, and he told some of his companions not to marry women who could not bear children.

It was narrated that Ma’qil ibn Yasaar (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A man came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: I have found a woman who is of good lineage and high status, but she cannot bear children; should I marry her? And he told him not to (marry her). Then he came to him a second time and he told him not to (marry her). Then he came to him a third time and he told him not to (marry her) and said; “Marry the one who is loving and fertile, for I will be proud of your great numbers.”

Narrated by al-Nasaa’i (3227) and Abu Dawood (2050); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb (1921).



But if the two spouses in the marital home agree not to have intercourse, then this is something that could happen and it may be said that it is permissible, in the case of spouses who are sick or elderly and have no desire for intercourse. But if they have the desire for intercourse, then how can they live together without being able to keep themselves chaste? Where will each of them fulfil his or her desire if not with the one with whom Allaah has permitted that?!

It may also be possible and it may be said that it is permissible if the woman is young and has desire, and she agrees to marry a man who is impotent, has had his penis cut off or is elderly. The opposite may also be said, which is that a man may marry a woman who is sick and has no desire, or is physically incapable of intercourse, if he is able to be patient and seek reward for that, or he has other wives with whom he may fulfill his desires.

Thirdly:

The fuqaha’ distinguished between two issues with regard to this matter:

1 – When it is stipulated in the marriage contract that it is not permissible for them to have intercourse. In this case the condition is invalid, and the contract is invalid according to the majority of scholars.

2 – When it is stipulated in the marriage contract that they will not have intercourse. In this case it depends, but the most correct view is that the contract is valid and the condition is invalid and carries no weight and has no value, regardless of whether the condition is stipulated by the husband, the wife or both.

It says in al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (44/45):

The fuqaha’ differentiated in the ruling on this stipulation between two cases, when the condition denies that intercourse is permissible, and when it stipulates that it will not be done.

This is explained as follows:

If it is stipulated in the marriage contract that intercourse is not permissible, and that he married her on the basis that it is not permissible for him, then there is no difference of opinion among the scholars concerning the fact that this condition is invalid, but they did differ as to its effect on the validity of the marriage contract. There are two opinions:

1 – The majority of Shaafa’i, Maaliki and Hanbali fuqaha’ are of the view that both the condition and the marriage contract are invalid, because this condition cancels out the purpose of the contract, and because it contradicts it, because the marriage no longer makes any sense, rather it is an unrealistic contract.

2 –The Hanafi view is that the condition is invalid, but the contract is valid, because the basic principle according to the Hanafis is that marriage is not invalidated by an invalid condition, rather the condition alone is invalid.

But if it is stipulated in the marriage contract that there will be no intercourse, the fuqaha’ differed concerning the ruling on that and there are three views:

1 – The Hanafis and Hanbalis are of the view that the contract is valid but the condition is invalid. As for the invalidity of the condition, it is contrary to the purpose of the contract, and it implies waiving rights that would be binding according to the contract if this condition were not stipulated. As for the contract remaining valid, that is because this condition is something additional to the contract so it does not invalidate it.

The basic principle according to the Hanafis is that marriage is not invalidated by an invalid condition, rather the condition alone is invalid.

2 –The Maalikis are of the view that the condition is invalid, and the contract is invalid, because it has been done in a way that is forbidden in sharee’ah.

Then the Maalikis differed as to the consequences after the contract is done. It was said that the marriage may be annulled before and after consummation, or it was said that it may be annulled before consummation and confirmed afterwards, and this condition is to be waived. This is the well known view of the (Maaliki) madhhab.

3 – The Shaafa’is are of the view that if he marries her on condition that he will not have intercourse with her, or he will only have intercourse with her by day, or only once, for example, the marriage is invalid if the condition was stipulated by her, because it is contrary to the purpose of the contract. If it was stipulated by him, then it does not matter, because intercourse is his right, and he may forsake it, and enabling him to have intercourse with her is her duty, and she has no right to forsake it. End quote.

Fourthly:

The woman should not agree to this marriage, and the man should not agree with the woman if she does not want there to be any intercourse between them. They should both understand that this is contrary to sound fitrah (human nature). Allaah has created in men an inclination towards women, and He has created in women an inclination towards men. There are some people who direct their desires in haraam ways, and some who direct them in halaal ways. Marriage is one of the laws of Allaah in which He has permitted the man and woman to come together and has created affection and compassion between them, and has brought forth children and offspring from them.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And Allaah has made for you Azwaaj (mates or wives) of your own kind, and has made for you, from your wives, sons and grandsons, and has bestowed on you good provision. Do they then believe in false deities and deny the Favour of Allaah (by not worshipping Allaah Alone)”

[al-Nahl 16:72]

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect”

[al-Room 30:21]

Marriage is the way of the Messengers (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon them), and they are the best of mankind. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And indeed We sent Messengers before you (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم), and made for them wives and offspring”

[al-Ra’d 13:38]

“At that time Zakariyya (Zachariya) invoked his Lord, saying: ‘O my Lord! Grant me from You, a good offspring. You are indeed the All-Hearer of invocation’”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:38]

And Allaah knows best.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,


What does age have to do with sex...I did not realize that one stopped having sex due to age..new one on me...just look in the Quran...

Sister Precious Star...what I am trying to discuss can simply be put like this; if a wife has a medical or mental condition that stops her from pleasing her husband and his daily needs ( it took a moment to get that out)..it is his right to 1) divorce her 2) take on a second wife ( now you all know I was going to pop that one in) and 3) keep her out of his sense of mercy. I was not even thinking of annulment as that is simply odious.

So to turn the question around..the wife if she has a medical condition..what is her obligation to her husband? I believe we have an answer to this question.

Sister Hayat..take time to ingest what I am asking. The response from Brother Mazhara really made me think. He corrected me. A husband has intercourse with his wife(wives). Not the other way around...think it out sister.
 

esperanza

revert of many years
salam

salam sister ..thank you for raising this topic...i have looked for answers on this too

what is the case when a man is avpiding intercourse with his wife

i have read that if a man intentionally avoids intercousre with his wife for four months or more she has a right to aks for divorce

i have even read that even if it is unintentional
( ie,.he did not state he will not have intercourse)
#
BUTif four months pass then the wife has a right o ask for divorce on this basis

iwould be greatful for clarification on this

maybe thios should be insisters sectionbut maybe thsi is something that no sister would have firm knowledege about
 

sabs1164

AmatuLLaH
what would a married woman do if one day her husband,may Allah never wants this,gets ill and he can't phisically satsfy his wife?should she find another man because her husband is not enough?why a man is so blind in front of this,while a woman should be patient?does this matter about sexless marriage help you to give help to somebody else,or is it your personal curiousity?you're surely reverted from many years to Islam than me,and only now you need to clear your doubts?why didn't you ask it some years ago?:wasalam:

hayaat84, this is an islamic forum...im sure you aware of that. this is not a place for findin other people's faults. Who are we to judge????

If ALLAH wanted her to ask the question in this forum, at this time, its upto HIM.
please write in a polite manner.

:wasalam:
 

Hajjerr

He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram
Assalaam alaikum,

My question is a derivative of a situation. I tend to take things to the nth degree...to the state of absolute.

I was inquiring to satisfy the need to give proper counsel. I am stuck on the hadith that angles curse a woman if she does not satisfy her husbands needs. As we are discussing physical needs and marriage is the solution to fulfilling needs I am in the what if phase.

wa aleikum salam wa rahmatulahy wa barakatuh

i think you reffer to this hadith dear sister: Sayyiduna Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “By the one in whose hands is my life, there is not a man who calls his wife for sexual intimacy and she refuses him except that Allah becomes angry with her until her husband is pleased with her.” (Sahih Muslim, No. 1436)

BUT is not the case that angels curse her when the wife has a valid reason, like temporary illness, ...
Similarly, it should be remembered here that, the wife must obey her husband in his request for sexual intimacy unless she has a valid reason. She must obey him as long as she does not have to forego her own rights. As such, if the wife is ill, fears physical harm or she is emotionally drained, etc; she will not be obliged to comply with her husband’s request for sexual intimacy. Rather, the husband would be required to show her consideration.

Allah Most High says:
“On no soul does Allah place a burden greater than it can bear.” (Surah al-Baqarah, 286)
Allah knows better.
:salam2:
 

hayat84

I'm not what you believe
:salam2:
I say politely,that there are so many other good matter to talk about,instead of sexuality,that should be talked among few people and not in a so public situation.
I know a hadith which says that a woman must satisfy her husband's desire,even if in that moment she' riding on a camel,isn't it:)
it's fashinating how at the time of the Prophet this matter was important,such as the "the other 2 prophets" Prophet MUhammed SAWS mentioned when a couple wished to make love:those 2 prophets were kisses and caresses.so the man has also the duty to help the couple to enjoy that moment,not reducing the physical act only a satisfaction of the senses.making love is a Sadaqa.I hope this helped you.
Sis Aapa,forgive me if I got infuried.:hearts:
 

Mazhara

Junior Member
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged marrying the woman who is fertile, and he told some of his companions not to marry women who could not bear children.

There is no dearth of irrational gossips attributed by many to the Elevated Messenger of Allah the Exalted.

In those days what were the methods available to determine before marriage whether a woman could bear a child or not?

Zakariya alahissalam lived all the life with a woman who could not bear a child. She was cured when Zakariya alahissalam was in his extreme age and they got a son.
 

Mazhara

Junior Member
My question is a derivative of a situation. I tend to take things to the nth degree...to the state of absolute.

I was inquiring to satisfy the need to give proper counsel. I am stuck on the hadith that angles curse a woman if she does not satisfy her husbands needs. As we are discussing physical needs and marriage is the solution to fulfilling needs I am in the what if phase.

If there is a medical condition and the wife for whatever reason can not satisfy the need..what are the recourse for the spouse? Is a man to remain in an anxiety ridden state? That makes no sense..a married man does not need to fast for this purpose. At what point is he able to seek another wife? Aapa


All laws, including those promulgated by Allah the Exalted and His Elevated Messenger get suspended in case of impractibility on the part of a person. It is something obvious common sense proposition.

In case of threat to life by hunger man is permitted to take a limited quantity of haram things subject to having no inclination and love for that.

Non satisfaction of sex urge does not post threat to life.

When wife is sick or suffering from such problem where intercourse cannot be resorted and the man cannot remain patient after some time, an option is available to him to marry a widow. But he should not leave his suffering wife in "hanging" state. Husbands should remember wife is not merely a "full size sex doll". She is the Pearl of one's life.

The Greatest of the Creation, the Last Elevated Messenger of Allah the Exalted has left for us an excellent example of his affection and care attitude for the wives. He went to the extreme extent of prohibiting something for his self to eat merely to please his wives. Let us bow our heads in reverence for him.

People should read Grand Qur'aan with care. They will see in it the Elevated Messenger of Allah the Exalted as if he is living in our times.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alikum,

An option of a widow is an alternative. It does not have to be a widow. That would make the widow a sex doll.


On a very mature level not having sex may not pose threat to life but can cause harm to the soul.

And am I right a woman could ask for divorce if her husband does not fulfill his wives needs. That would be torture for her.
 
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