Leadership in Islam

Just a Guy

Reinventing Myself
:salam2:

I have a question for anyone who might know an answer: what are some good qualities of leadership?

I know that in Islam, the men are supposed to be the leaders of their family and their community. I admit that this is a concept that I am not familiar with. I have always done my own thing, and I have always valued my independence very highly. I'm not used to having others rely on me for guidance and support.

This is something that I have to learn, so I need to know where to start. This is one reason I cannot marry at this time: I can't be a leader to a family if I don't know how. I can't lead a house in prayer if I don't know what I am doing.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

You raise an excellent point.

Marriage is a partnership in Islam.

It would benefit you to read about the conduct of the Prophet, may the peace of Allah be upon him, his leadership in all arenas are virtues for Muslims to follow.

In the simplest of terms..there is mutual ground. Marry a woman who is on solid ground so she can teach you.

As you read the Quran you will discover what the quintessential qualities of a Muslim man are.

I would share this post on the Brothers Only section, as many Muslim women are shy and modest and would not out of respect answer you.
 

Just a Guy

Reinventing Myself
:salam2:

Well I'm just looking for some general advice on where to start learning. I'm going to say something that might offend some of you, but I feel that it necessary to understand this, so that I can start learning how to be a Muslim leader.

I posted this on another forum as well, and it was pointed out to me there that part of the problem is because of Western society and culture. Here, we are taught that everyone is equal and that women are expected to earn their keep alongside men. Women's empowerment has done a lot to ensure that women can have the same opportunities as men in the workplace.

This is a good thing, but it is also part of the problem, because men here are not taught how to take care of a wife. We're taught that women are equal and can take care of themselves, so we as Western men don't really know how to protect and take care of a wife. We're not taught how to be the physical, emotional, and spiritual leaders of a family. Our society has failed us as men in this critical lesson. I think that's part of the reason you have so many divorces and domestic abuse cases here in the US.

We're taught that you meet a woman, fall in love, get married, and maybe have kids. That's really all we're taught. We're not taught how to protect, provide, and care for a wife or kids.

I think this is also partly why Islam is seen as "repressive" by Westerners, because the treatment of women in Islam is so fundamentally different than what you see in secular Western society.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

Nothing really offends me, anymore.

People forget history. This is a class issue. The poor have always worked and will always work.
The rich women here never worked. They are the Junior League for example. The wife of lawyers and doctors are the volunteers at the blood mobiles, schools, PTA. They are the women you find in Congress. And my favorite..the Great White Ghetto Mama. ( yeah, I wrote it ).
Do not let anyone fool you.

The poor mans wife is a worker. Think about the Black man who could not work and his wife had to become the domestic. Think about why the poor often can not marry as the benefits lessen. Malcolm X was right.

The poor Muslim man in the US wife works. Go to any major city and see the hijabi at the service level jobs. The poor and average Muslim man's wife works in the UK.

The notion many Muslims have on websites is romantic.

Brother, I am a single mom. I would not know. I have no clue as I have to work alongside men to put food on the table. And I will continue to work until I drop dead. You see from my perspective..this is a pie in the sky.
 

Just a Guy

Reinventing Myself
Assalaam walaikum,

Nothing really offends me, anymore.

People forget history. This is a class issue. The poor have always worked and will always work.
The rich women here never worked. They are the Junior League for example. The wife of lawyers and doctors are the volunteers at the blood mobiles, schools, PTA. They are the women you find in Congress. And my favorite..the Great White Ghetto Mama. ( yeah, I wrote it ).
Do not let anyone fool you.

The poor mans wife is a worker. Think about the Black man who could not work and his wife had to become the domestic. Think about why the poor often can not marry as the benefits lessen. Malcolm X was right.

The poor Muslim man in the US wife works. Go to any major city and see the hijabi at the service level jobs. The poor and average Muslim man's wife works in the UK.

The notion many Muslims have on websites is romantic.

Brother, I am a single mom. I would not know. I have no clue as I have to work alongside men to put food on the table. And I will continue to work until I drop dead. You see from my perspective..this is a pie in the sky.

:salam2:

Yes, this is another problem in our society: single parent families. Too many children are growing up without a mother or father and the one parent often doesn't have time to be a parent because they have to work all of the time to support their kids. So when these kids grow up to become men and women themselves, they've had no positive adult role models to teach them how to become leaders.

That's not my case, but it is the case for too many of our youth. My parents are still married, and fortunately I had a good role model in my own father. He always treated Mom, my sister, and I with love and respect. He is not Muslim of course, so that part I will have to learn for myself.
 

IHearIslam

make dua 4 ma finals
Assalamu alaikum,

Our beloved prophet may peace and blessings be upon him was a great example to Muslim men all around the world. He was not just a breadwinner, he helped with house chores, gave all his wives their God given rights! and above all showed love. In Islam, marriage is about companionship....the couple work together to attain the pleasure of their Lord. If the wife is more knowledgeable in terms of deen, she teaches the husband and vice versa.
Brother if you learn the rights of the wife in Islam.....you'll do just fine. Its a Western notation that "muslim women dont work...." but nothing in our deen stops us from working. Khadija radi'allahu anha (may Allah be pleased with her) was a business woman when the Western women did NOT even have the right to earn for themselves! No woman would like to work and at the same time do the house chores and take care of the kids. So, Alllah with his great mercy and compassion made it obligatory upon the men to provide and care for their wives, mothers, and sisters. Which brings me to the point sister Aapa made, the poor have to work and work to make ends meet. A rich man's wife would enjoy luxury no matter what religion or culture she adheres to.......but because of certain circumstances we sometimes have to compete with the men in the work force.

oh I think you should read this...someone post it on facebook and I thought it be of benefit to share with you and everyone else on TTI:D

10 Tips For (Future) Married Brothers

1) Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time you went shopping for designer pyjamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that the Prophet (PEACE BE UPON HIM) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

2) Use the best names for your wife. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

3) Don’t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day – which brings no attention from the husband – until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.

4) If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways the Prophet (saw) used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives (ra). It’s a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.

5) Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when the Prophet (saw) would kiss his wife before leaving for Salaah, even when he was fasting.

6) Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgment she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t let that be; thank her!

7) Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.

8) Don’t belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. The Prophet (saw) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah (R.A) was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

9) Be humorous and play games with your wife. Look at how the Prophet (saw) would race with his wife Aisha (ra) in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

10) Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger (saw): ‘The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.’ Try to be the best!

In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah – Ta’ala to make your marriage successful. And Allah Ta’ala knows best!!

The Prophet (saw) said: “Convey (knowledge) from me even if it is just one aayah…” [Bukhari, 3461]…
 

Just a Guy

Reinventing Myself
:salam2:

Thanks for the tip, sister.

I am reading the biography of our noble Prophet (saws) right now, and I hope to gain some inspiration from that.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

Yes, brother...single mothers is a problem in the Muslim society in the US. We have a simple solution. I actually proposed to a major organization to ask if there were statistics on the number of single mom. There are none available.

Please do not assume that a single mother does not raise a good and wholesome family. We do. We just sacrifice everything else.

Muslim men are walking out on the families.
 

Just a Guy

Reinventing Myself
Assalaam walaikum,

Yes, brother...single mothers is a problem in the Muslim society in the US. We have a simple solution. I actually proposed to a major organization to ask if there were statistics on the number of single mom. There are none available.

Please do not assume that a single mother does not raise a good and wholesome family. We do. We just sacrifice everything else.

Muslim men are walking out on the families.

Please understand me, sister. I am not blaming the single moms. I admire and respect all single moms out there for what they have to go through every day. I don't see how you sisters do it, but you do, and I admire you all for it.

As I said, I think society as a whole has let us all down. Men don't know how to be husbands and fathers. I know that I don't. It's not just Muslim men either. It's men in general, especially men in Western societies. We're taught to our own thing and do whatever we think is best with no regard for anyone else but ourselves. Nobody takes responsibility for their own actions. Everything is someone else's fault.

When things go wrong, we walk away. That's our natural reaction. I know that I myself have had to learn not to quit when things get rough.

But I am going back to basics and reading the biography of the Prophet (saws). Is there any better example for a Muslim man to follow?
 

masihuddin

Junior Member
Assalam u alaikum.
The feeling that you lack leadership should not come in the way of marriage a practice highly reccomended in our religion The holy Prophet S.A.S is reported to have said that
Nikah is my sunnati and something to that effect
 

IHearIslam

make dua 4 ma finals
I am going back to basics and reading the biography of the Prophet (saws). Is there any better example for a Muslim man to follow?
Bravo brother! Go for it, and enjoy your reading!
 

kashif_nazeer

~~~Alhamdulillah~~~
:salam2:
In seerah you will find the best examples to follow.May Allah make it easy for you brother.Ameen.All the best!
:wasalam:
 

Aisya al-Humaira

الحمدلله على كل حال
Assalamua'alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh Brother,

May I suggest a very good book that not only discuss about leadership in Islam but also how to be an "Ideal Muslim man" as a whole; written by Sheikh Muhammad 'Ali al-Hashimi. This book comprises everything from how a Muslim is with His Rabb up to the Muslim and his community.

I also attached The Ideal Muslimah (for the female), written by the same author, just in case. . You know, for everyone's benefit.

Was-salaam.
 

Attachments

  • The Ideal Muslim.pdf
    1.1 MB · Views: 17
  • The Ideal Muslimah(shorter).pdf
    2.9 MB · Views: 16

BrotherInIslam7

La Illaha Illa Allah
Staff member
:salam2:

^ SubhanAllah, I'm reading the "Ideal Muslimah" these days, in real book form. A friend presented it to me recently. It's an excellent book - though some of the dhikrs in it are a bit questionable, which I have to ask about here later...

And I downloaded the Ideal Muslim as well, so I can sometime read that too.

:wasalam:

Could you please elaborate on that so that someone can have a look at them ?

BarakAllahu Feeki
 

Tabassum07

Smile for Allah
:wasalam:

Could you please elaborate on that so that someone can have a look at them ?

BarakAllahu Feeki

:salam2:

I apologize Brother, I'm looking again in the book and I can't seem to find the part which I knew I'd read: It was concerning the Sajda Sahw, where it said to read instead of "Subhana Rabbi Al 'Ala", something translating to "Allah you do not get tired.." etc. I know Akhi Thariq mentioned in the Sujood or Forgetfullness thread that there was no basis for saying this.

However, maybe I'm just confused and read that in some other book. For now I'll edit my post so as not to confuse anyone.
 

Just a Guy

Reinventing Myself
Assalamua'alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh Brother,

May I suggest a very good book that not only discuss about leadership in Islam but also how to be an "Ideal Muslim man" as a whole; written by Sheikh Muhammad 'Ali al-Hashimi. This book comprises everything from how a Muslim is with His Rabb up to the Muslim and his community.

I also attached The Ideal Muslimah (for the female), written by the same author, just in case. . You know, for everyone's benefit.

Was-salaam.

:salam2:

Thanks for the link, sister. I will check that out and it should prove useful, especially as I deal with some things in my life on all levels.
 

brmm

Junior Member
:salam2:

I have a question for anyone who might know an answer: what are some good qualities of leadership?

I know that in Islam, the men are supposed to be the leaders of their family and their community. I admit that this is a concept that I am not familiar with. I have always done my own thing, and I have always valued my independence very highly. I'm not used to having others rely on me for guidance and support.

This is something that I have to learn, so I need to know where to start. This is one reason I cannot marry at this time: I can't be a leader to a family if I don't know how. I can't lead a house in prayer if I don't know what I am doing.

Dear brother, Assalam Alaikom,
I wish to put some comments in this thread because I am a married Muslim man who studied leadership in the university.
Anyway ... I think it is better to use the word "responsible or responsibility" instead of leadership. I just believe that everyone "should be" responsible but not everyone can be a leader. Leadership is a kind of ability that not everyone can have, and I don't think it is that important if you don't have it.

In Islam, our prophet Mohammed SAAW emphasized on the responsibility (sponsorship) of the man for his home. The same rule is applied to the woman in her home.

If you were a Muslim man/woman or not, after marriage you will need to forget/change/modify your life habits to match your partner. It is not an advanced knowledge to do so, but the key is being understanding and patient if "both" need the marriage to last.

I think you are a bit afraid of being responsible, but you are doing this at work so why you don't do it at home also ?
Maybe you can imagine your wife as a 5 years old daughter, how you will take care of her? The funny thing is that when the time go, many women feel that their husbands are just like one of their kids and the men feel this also some times, don't ask me why :)

The Summary:
Responsibility, Understanding, Patience.
and I will remind you with this verse 3:159
Bismallah Alrahman Alrahim
"...,Yet when you are resolved, then put your trust in Allah; surely Allah loves the (ones) trusting (in Him)"

BRMM
 

Just a Guy

Reinventing Myself
Well I'll admit that this is a struggle for me as I try to undo all of the bad habits of my old life. I am not married so I have always done my own thing. "The only person I need to worry about is myself", is what I have always told myself. So I just did whatever I wanted to do and never gave much thought to consequences.

Lately that has changed. I find myself thinking about the future now, and what if such time arises that I do decide to marry (not likely, but you never know). So how am I, the perpetual bachelor, going to handle being the head of a family?

I'm not ready for that responsibility yet which is why I have decided not to marry at this time. I need to work on my relationship with Allah and become a better man. Then, I can move on to other things...
 
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