Lowering the Gaze

[secretduns]

Assalamu alaikum,
Let me first preface this question by saying that I personally don't always lower my gaze. Given the type of work that I do, it would be inappropriate not to address men directly. I do so as much as I can outside of work.

However, my partner does lower his gaze, and lately he had been struggling with it. I hate that he is feeling so guilty about it. How can I help him? Is there anything in particular that can help him stay anchored to his eman? He is a revert, and is worried that his inability to lower his gaze will interfere with him doing Islam moving forward.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

 

[a_stranger]

Wa alaikim alsalam
Dear sister I am glad to see people think in this way . AlhamduliAllah May Allah brighten our hearts with Taqwa . Dear I think this is kind of jihad alnafes for the sake of Allah. We Muslims all need it badly wether we are young or old since this lowering of gaze brighten hearts with more faith. I believe we need to remember :
Sahih International
So fear Allah as much as you are able and listen and obey . 64:16

Sahih International
Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people."2:286

We all should try to lower gaze in a polite way without being rude seeking Allah's pleasure. We should never forget that Allah is forgiving.

Allah bless you and your husband and keep faith firm in your hearts.

 

[Umm Shareef]

Wa aleikum as salaam,

We are commanded to lower the gaze, but the most important thing is that there is no element of lust present. Why is he struggling? I assume it is not because he is tempted. Why can't he just do it?

 

[Abu Juwairiya]

Action is based on intention and since it appears the brother is fearful of wrong, it shows he is sincere and inshallah Allah will help him. Since his work demands he speak with or meet with women, he needs to accept that it can be performed by keeping communication professional, short and relevant and if he does that, he can overcome most barriers that way. The fitmah will always be there, that's something all brothers must accept and face head on, our nature is different from sisters in that men have a higher desire and attraction to the opposite gender, but the challenge is how each brother is willing to confront and conquer it.

If the brother in question is strong enough to believe he can overcome this hurdle, it will make future obstacles easier and one thing that makes me personally proud and more able to assume a positive approach and outlook to life, hardships and difficulties on the way is to see them as 'opportunities' for pleasing Allah. I tell myself that if Allah believes in me then why do I not believe in myself and what is stopping me from asserting myself when Allah Himself says He does not overburden a person more than he can bear, so why should I see this a sign of weakness or problem area when it is really a route to greater perfection of Deen and a way of helping myself to greater good both now and in the future.

In many ways it is about perspective and whether or not the situation demands a change or the person does. If someone is truly sincere, Allah will find a way as long as the person believes in his heart that Allah will help him and continues to strive all the way in the meantime.

 

[a_stranger]

I like to add that if we do our prayers with more sincerity this will give us more purity , then when we feel the sweetness of purity and being close to Allah this will give us more power to lower our gaze and keep our hearts free from black spots and repent from any kind of sins. Our prayers should be like spiritual stations to gain more faith and taqwa.