Marriage, Love & Mercy

saima abdullah

my life iz 4 Allah
Mars and Venus: Marriage, Love & Mercy

Shaykh Riad Ouarzazi
20 Points to Love
1.Exchanging gifts, (It develops love between you two) it does not have to be materialistic.
2.Spend time together. Just you and your wife. (Vise versa)
3.“The look of love”. Just by looking at your wife you should know what she likes.
4.Warm greetings.
5.Praise the wife. Never compare her with someone else. Applies both ways
6.Participate together in the household chorus. Your work is not only outside!!
7.Kind words, they are Sadaqah.
8.Spend time OUT together.
9.Peaceful gatherings.
10.Husband has to be balanced with the YES/NO.
11.Show your interest, support, and care.
12.Change your routine. Surprise her/him.
13.Pamper her/him.
14.Don’t hide your feelings. You should be able to talk to each other (Never in front of the children).
15.Call her/him by her/him beautiful names
16.Don’t talk about your problems before bed.
17.Show THANKS…Jazakallahu Khair
18.Apologize
19.R-E-S-P-E-C-T
20.Contemplate the Seerah.
download lecture .
http://blip.tv/file/get/Ilmcast-MarsAndVenus919.wmv
 

Marina28

Junior Member
Great post sister i know sometimes it's hard to find time together with work or children but we should find the time to do all those things :p
 

finding light

Ya Rab! Forgive me..
Asalamualaykum,

JazakAllah for this list. I'd like to point out - generally these things are natural with women.. I mean we are a little more softer and sensitive than men right? and Also generally WE women would like these gestures by our husbands... But the question is, if they are not inclined that way at all - is there anything you can really do to change it?

For example, no matter what response you get, you are always giving gifts, calling sweet names, saying nice things etc... but nothing in return because he is just not inclined that way and says to you - I dont like to do these things to you or express myself because thats just not me (but i also dont mind that you do them too!). it doesnt mean he doesnt love you. Its just that he is not that type of person. But women, we really like these things quite honestly, dont we? :) What can a woman do to make her husband understand that these things actually do make a large difference and although I know you love me, it would be really nice to feel extremely special once in a while...?
 

saima abdullah

my life iz 4 Allah
wsalam
you are right sister, in fact what happen is in start of marriage the husband treat wife in this way and thus she starts thinking that we'll be treated in same way from now on, QUEEN OF HIS HEART
but after have 6 months together the men gets to his routine work and the house wife still awaits his same care, (kind words, gifts etc)
when she don't get such behavior the gets irritate (she have to understand that he is facing the out side world which is harsh and bitter, its she who will pour some sweetness to that bitterness), here the man is already irritated so fight or misunderstanding took place(husbands should not do catharsis on their wives)..
meanwhile couples usually have kids now wife gets also busy and here mostly men envious,in such complicity one should always using such things to keep matters in hand.
INSHAALLAH IT WILL HELP
females are emotional and expressive, men are less
i think there should be fun and light talk between both to make environment sound insha Allah.
a very important reminder , we should all take care of our duties Allah will take care of rights inshaAllah, if duties are fulfilled from all sides there is no question of Rights.
 

finding light

Ya Rab! Forgive me..
hmmmm, But todays reality is that women are working too. They too come home frustrated and also have to take care of the house thereafter.. who will drown the bitterness the woman has?
but you are right - Inshallah after we will fulfill our duties, our reward is with allah. cant ask for anything more than that....
 
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