Muslim traditions, do's and don'ts.

Waterdrop

Banned
Hello,

I live next to a really nice Muslim couple, we often watch their house when they're away and such. She has done many nice things for us, brought me over some middle eastern cuisin (i won't even attempt to pronounce what it was), brought over a birthday present for my daughter, bought me some wine from France (apparanly she wasn't supposed to) and just recently brought over some Christmas presents for my daughter (which shocked me). We want to do something really nice for them but don't want to offend them since we are ignorant to their religion. We wanted to either buy them a gift certificate towards a meal at a resturant or just buy them a present, but we are unsure about what is considered "ok" when presents are concerned.

Thanks
 

dianek

Junior Member
I am glad and happy to hear that you have been given a wonderful "depiction" of a true muslim family. I wish the news would portray them as this way, kind and thoughtful!!!! As for what to give them, gift cards for dinner are fine.....though often Muslims don't like to be in a bar type environment....you could contact a local caterer who does delivery service and have dinner sent to their home as well. Just specify dishes that do not contain Pork or Alchohol.
 

Waterdrop

Banned
wine..

yeah, she told me that she wasn't supposed to and not to tell your husband (they're approx 55-60 years old)..it was unsolicited and even I knew that she wasn't supposed to but I appreciated it nontheless.
 

dianek

Junior Member
The best thing you can do for them is to learn about their religion! Why remain ignorant?

Next best thing is to know about their holidays and birthdays and reciprocate. Just last week was Islam's biggest holiday, Eid-ul Adha. You could have said to them "Eid Mubarak" (Blessed feast) and cooked a lamb shank for them. They would have been so happy.

Next time you hear somebody say something awful about Islam, why not tell the offender that you have Muslim neighbors who are wonderful people and that he doesn't know what he's talking about.


AMEN TO THAT SISTER!!!!!!!!
 

Waterdrop

Banned
i'm not a very religious person, just want to be a thoughtful one. Normally I would of given them a present but wasn't sure about how that would mesh with her beliefs.
 

dianek

Junior Member
Muslims don't celebrate birthdays...

UMMMMM.......we do.......my husband (born muslim) has always celebrated birthdays in our family. We don't do big birthday parties for outsiders to come but we do a cake and sing Happy Bday to our kids and each other every year!
 

Optimist

قل هو الله أحد
I personally would go for the gift cards from some super store (? Walmart in USA). Food presents are dodgy as some muslims are more strict that others and there is the taste element as well.

I usually give cash presents. I know it sounds not very polite but most people around are fairly practical and would appreciate such an approach.
 

Waterdrop

Banned
ayman1,

I do mention to those around me that they are very nice people and act as though muslims, or just people for that matter, should act. I try not to make comparisons as I grow tired of the divisions in our world today.
 

dianek

Junior Member
ayman1,

I do mention to those around me that they are very nice people and act as though muslims, or just people for that matter, should act. I try not to make comparisons as I grow tired of the divisions in our world today.

I applaud you! I am American and recently converted but am struggling about how to tell my family because my mother buys into the whole oppressive and violent idea the media portrays of Muslims.......I love when people just see people and care for each other across all lines. You are a light among lights, now if we could just get that flame to spread to others so they too can "see them as people". BUT this also requires our ummah to be more like your neighbor is. Unfortunately, I don't think most non-American muslims are comfortable "reaching out" to Americans, muslim or non-muslim, for maybe a fear of rejection.
 

Waterdrop

Banned
I was also thinking of offering to help her with her yardwork (cutting the lawn since her husbands mother is extremely ill and he doesn't do it), but most likely i'll get her a gift, or a giftcard.
 

Waterdrop

Banned
dianek,

Thank you, unfortunalty, I see it getting worse before it gets better in the trust department (both sides). Make sure to thank your local politician for that, or media conglamorant(sp).
 

dianek

Junior Member
dianek,

Thank you, unfortunalty, I see it getting worse before it gets better in the trust department (both sides). Make sure to thank your local politician for that, or media conglamorant(sp).


You are so right about that! I hope America gets of the Good Old Idiot right wing train this next election.
 
Muslims don't celebrate birthdays...

Salaam,

Please refrain from giving your own fatwas about Islam. It's your choice whether you want to celebrate or not. Of course every day is a "blessing" or a "birthday" for a Muslim but to say they can't celebrate is incorrect.

I would give them a gift card to a restaurant or some electronic store, like Best Buy. If it snows where you live, maybe you can shovel their walkway, stairs or whip the snow from their car(s).
 

LittleMe1989

New Member
Salaam,

Please refrain from giving your own fatwas about Islam. It's your choice whether you want to celebrate or not. Of course every day is a "blessing" or a "birthday" for a Muslim but to say they can't celebrate is incorrect.

I would give them a gift card to a restaurant or some electronic store, like Best Buy. If it snows where you live, maybe you can shovel their walkway, stairs or whip the snow from their car(s).

well let me give you a fatwa of someone else then :)


Question

Is it allowed in Islam to celebrate birthdays?

Fatwa

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

Celebrating the birthday of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) or anyone else is an innovation; there is no evidence approving it. On the other hand, the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "If somebody tries to introduce into this faith of ours (Islam) something which is not a part of it, is to be rejected (and the person is) condemned" .
Thus, a Muslim should not attend such a celebration except to stop or change it by at least talking to the people and informing them with wisdom and good manners. For more details, please read the Fatwa: 83240.
Allah knows best.

www.islamweb.net
 

Optimist

قل هو الله أحد
WARNING - personal opinion of a non-scholar to follow

I think the issue in the fatwa is different to the one referred to by Diane. The fatwa discuss celebrating birthdays as part of the religion (i.e. making them an Ibadah), which is different to celebrating them as a matter of earthly life. You may argue that this is "tashaboh belkuffar" (i.e. imitating the disbelievers) hence it is haram, but I guess here it depends on your intention (i.e. why you are celebrating it).

We dont really celebrate birthdays in my house but me & my wife do exchange presents on our birthdays & our anniversary. I really hope we are not commiting any sins. I wonder how others handle this.

I'm open to correction.
 
well let me give you a fatwa of someone else then :)


Question

Is it allowed in Islam to celebrate birthdays?

Fatwa

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

Celebrating the birthday of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) or anyone else is an innovation; there is no evidence approving it. On the other hand, the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "If somebody tries to introduce into this faith of ours (Islam) something which is not a part of it, is to be rejected (and the person is) condemned" .
Thus, a Muslim should not attend such a celebration except to stop or change it by at least talking to the people and informing them with wisdom and good manners. For more details, please read the Fatwa: 83240.
Allah knows best.

www.islamweb.net

Salaam,

That Fatwa is real weak. It does not provide any specific details or explanations.


In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear questioner, thank you for your question and the confidence you place in our service and we pray to Allah to enable us to render this service purely for His Sake.

Islam teaches Muslim to have a unique character and to be distinguished. A Muslim is weaned on morality and avoiding blind imitation. Islam supports the celebration of a birthday if it is an expression of gratitude to Allah for His bounties, sustenance and blessings in man’s life, as long as that celebration does not include anything that may displease Allah, the Almighty.

Focusing on the issue of celebrating birthdays, we would like to start by citing the following:

"In Islam, birthdays are not considered `eid (a festival) like `Eidul-Fitr or `Eidul-Adha, because `eids have conditions and guidelines such as not being allowed to fast during the days of Eid. Therefore, birthdays are simply occasions of a person's date of birth and are a matter of culture. If a person wants to commemorate his/her date of birth, then he/she may do so, especially if he/she takes the opportunity to reflect on the past and pledge to be better during the following year. However, to make the birthday an important occasion is not recommended or encouraged." (Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.islamicity.com)

Shedding more light on the issue, the prominent Muslim scholar Sheikh Tajuddin Hamid Al-Hilali, Mufti of Australia and New Zealand, states:

"A Muslim has a distinguished personality. He should not imitate others in evil things and leave the good ones. Talking to our children about their birthdays, we should remind them that on such days they should remember the blessings of Allah and praise Him for giving them life and guidance. It would be better if we ask them to offer something in charity as a form of showing gratitude.

Still there is nothing wrong if we try to make them feel happy on that day as long as we are using lawful things. It is better if we make it a day ahead or a day after. You said that your children insist on having such a celebration, and this is really dangerous. If the child insists on having his desires fulfilled at this early age, what is going to happen when he grows older? We need to be alarmed and never allow Western traditions that are based on individualism, to ruin our families. Thus, calling birthdays `eids is not accepted, for this has no basis in Islam. At the same time, there is nothing wrong if we use these occasions to inculcate Islamic principles in our children, like showing gratitude to Allah, praising Him and seizing the chance of this life in performing good deeds since the older we grow the nearer to the grave we come."

Speaking about the same issue Sheikh Faysal Mawlawi, Deputy Chairman of the European Council for Fatwa and Research, adds:

“Permissibility is the original ruling in this case, as there is no evidence of prohibition. The principle of not following the Jews and Christians is really required in matters of their false claims and beliefs in relation to religion. Such beliefs are no more than disbelief from an Islamic perspective.

Islam supports the celebration of birthdays if it is an expression of gratitude to Allah for His bounties, sustenance and blessings in man’s life, as long as that celebration does not include anything that may displease Allah, the Almighty. In this context the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was asked about fasting on Mondays, and he answered: “It is the day on which I was born.” Muslim scholars take this hadith and the hadith of fasting on the Day of `Ashura’ (10th of Mharram) as evidence on the permissibility of celebrating good occasions, which have special significance in our religion such as occasions like the birthday of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).

In this context, people must be aware that celebrating such occasions, e.g. the Prophet’s birthday, is no more than a matter of habit, and by no means a religious requirement. However, if it entails any forbidden practices, such a celebration becomes forbidden for that reason alone. Moreover, a celebration of this sort becomes recommended if it includes recommended acts of worship.

It is also right to say that such celebrations contain some aspects of innovation, however it is an innovation in matters of popular habits not in matters of religion. Actually innovation in habits is not prohibited. What is prohibited in this context is innovation in religion, as indicated in a well-known Prophetic hadith.

By analogy, there is nothing wrong in celebrating birthdays, as long as the celebration does not include any forbidden practices.”


http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/...h-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503547996
 

ditta

Alhamdu'Lillaah
Staff member
Asalaamu'Alykum,

Brother Humble, with the utmost respect:

Question:
what is the evidence on celebrating birthdays,is it allowed in islam?


Answer:

The evidence in the Qur’aan and Sunnah indicates that celebrating birthdays is a kind of bid’ah or innovation in religion, which has no basis in the pure sharee’ah. It is not permitted to accept invitations to birthday celebrations, because this involves supporting and encouraging bid’ah. Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):


“Or have they partners with Allaah (false gods) who have instituted for them a religion which Allaah has not allowed…?” [al-Shoora 42:21]

“Then We have put you (O Muhammad) on a plain way of (Our) commandment. So follow that, and follow not the desires of those who know not. Verily, they can avail you nothing against Allaah (if He wants to puish you). Verily, the zaalimoon (wrongdoers) are awliyaa’ (protectors, helpers, etc.) to one another, but Allaah is the Wali (Protector, Helper) of the muttaqoon (pious).” [al-Jaathiyah 45:18-19]


“Follow what has been sent down unto you from your Lord, and follow not any awliyaa’ (protectors, helpers, etc.) besides Him. Little do you remember!” [al-A’raaf 7:3]

According to saheeh reports, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever does something that is a not part of this matter of ours (i.e., Islam) will have it rejected” (reported by Muslim in his Saheeh); and “The best of speech is the Book of Allaah and the best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The most evil of things are those which have been newly invented (in religion), and every innovation is a going astray.” There are many other ahaadeeth that convey the same meaning.

Besides being bid’ah and having no basis in sharee’ah, these birthday celebrations also involve imitation of the Jews and Christians in their birthday celebrations.


The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, warning us against following their ways and traditions: “You would follow the ways of those who came before you step by step, to such an extent that if they were to enter a lizard’s hole, you would enter it too.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, (do you mean) the Jews and Christians?” He said, “Who else?” (Reported by al-Bukhaari and Muslim). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also said: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.”


Fataawa Islamiyyah, 1/115

www.islamqa.com

Personally Islam Online is a good website, but some stuff is not that good. I can't remember the exact origin of Birthdays but check it out. The people would bring gifts to the person in order to ensure evil spirits stayed away from that person. This is what i remember from Muhammad Feiz's lecture. Insh'Allah i did not give a Fatawa here.

Alhamdulilah

Wasalam
 
Salaam akhi,

With all due respect, Islam Q & A is also a great site, but there are a few things that I don't agree with. A few of the things they say, to me, sounds "too extreme."

Prophet Muhammad (saw) said:

“No one goes to extremes in his faith except that it defeats him.”

He also said:

“Keep away from extremism.” and: “Moderation, moderation, and you will succeed.”
 
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