Be_Real
Member
Salaam Brother,
I have been married for 29 years and I have been the Chairman of my community in my town and I have witnessed many broken marriages as well as successful marriages so I will give you some advice for whatever it is worth. However I will request the moderators of this site to delete whatever they may find inappropriate in my advice.
First of all you are lucky to have such a wife !!!! Never once have you said that you have a nagging wife . Did you know that many marriages breakup because of nagging wives, who not only nag their husbands but are also abusive towards the husbands parents. How would you feel if you had a very beautiful wife, but one who would turn you against your mother and make you throw her out of your home. Brother I have seen that happen, you would of course get pleasure in this life but it would destroy your hereafter. So at least you are safe on this point. Secondly, your wife and yourself are also not promicious. I have seen couples breakup after the husband or the wife having an affair with someone else. Did you know that many beautiful women are not satisfied with only the admiration of their husbands but also like to display their beauty to strangers. Would you like to spend your life with such a wife? What kind of morals shall she teach your children?
Regarding the laziness of your wife, maybe she was pampered and spoilt by her parents but once married it was the duty of your mother to have asked are to share the duties of making a good home. Many households have this problem of daughters in laws not doing their share of the work. You could tell your mother & wife to do the cooking every alternate day. Tell your wife, your mother is growing old and will not be around always to do the cooking or ask your mother in law to tell her.
Regarding the beauty and body of your wife, Please STOP watching magazines containing photos of beautiful women such as cosmopolitan, as you will always be comparing your wife to other women and become depressed. I assure you many husbands would easily run after other women if they had the slightest chance, even if they had the most beautiful wife sitting at home, as the proverb says "The grass is always greener on the other side"!!! Instead nurture what you have, forget Hawaii or Australia, how about buying her sports shoes and taking her out for a 5km walk daily. Once her blood starts to flow she will become more health conscious and in time will look more after her body, ask your family doctor to threaten her with health consequences if she continues to put on weight, I have seen chain smokers give up the habit after being warned by doctors. But please don't expect that she will turn into Madonna overnight. Female bodies are different than males, childbirth really changes their bodies, it is how God made them and we should not blame them if they loose shape after they give birth. As long as she is health conscious , you should love her for what she is.
Finally, you say she sleeps in a separate room after the birth of your child. Now I wonder why she has gone off sex with you. Have you ever tried to satisfy her sexually, she seems frustrated. A sexually frustrated woman has two options, either to seek sexual pleasure elsewhere or if she is a good muslim to forget her body and seek pleasure in bringing up her child, which is obviously what your wife is doing. I hope you are not the "Wham, Bam Thank you Ma'am" type of man. A real man has to make sure his wife is satisfied sexually before his own satisfaction. Try to forget your own sexual fantasies for a while and try satisfying your wife for a change. I am sure if you do that she will shift into your room in no time!. I would advise you to download the book "The Perfumed Garden" from the internet. Read it, it tells you what makes a woman tick.
Please don't even think of leaving your wife, you will destroy the life of your good wife and your child also. Islam has given you the option of a second wife, but remember she will also get fat in a couple of years, so will you continue marrying wives? Don't take my advice negatively, look around you, there are many unhappy husbands with very beautiful wives.
Best of luck, with the "Perfumed Garden".
I have been married for 29 years and I have been the Chairman of my community in my town and I have witnessed many broken marriages as well as successful marriages so I will give you some advice for whatever it is worth. However I will request the moderators of this site to delete whatever they may find inappropriate in my advice.
First of all you are lucky to have such a wife !!!! Never once have you said that you have a nagging wife . Did you know that many marriages breakup because of nagging wives, who not only nag their husbands but are also abusive towards the husbands parents. How would you feel if you had a very beautiful wife, but one who would turn you against your mother and make you throw her out of your home. Brother I have seen that happen, you would of course get pleasure in this life but it would destroy your hereafter. So at least you are safe on this point. Secondly, your wife and yourself are also not promicious. I have seen couples breakup after the husband or the wife having an affair with someone else. Did you know that many beautiful women are not satisfied with only the admiration of their husbands but also like to display their beauty to strangers. Would you like to spend your life with such a wife? What kind of morals shall she teach your children?
Regarding the laziness of your wife, maybe she was pampered and spoilt by her parents but once married it was the duty of your mother to have asked are to share the duties of making a good home. Many households have this problem of daughters in laws not doing their share of the work. You could tell your mother & wife to do the cooking every alternate day. Tell your wife, your mother is growing old and will not be around always to do the cooking or ask your mother in law to tell her.
Regarding the beauty and body of your wife, Please STOP watching magazines containing photos of beautiful women such as cosmopolitan, as you will always be comparing your wife to other women and become depressed. I assure you many husbands would easily run after other women if they had the slightest chance, even if they had the most beautiful wife sitting at home, as the proverb says "The grass is always greener on the other side"!!! Instead nurture what you have, forget Hawaii or Australia, how about buying her sports shoes and taking her out for a 5km walk daily. Once her blood starts to flow she will become more health conscious and in time will look more after her body, ask your family doctor to threaten her with health consequences if she continues to put on weight, I have seen chain smokers give up the habit after being warned by doctors. But please don't expect that she will turn into Madonna overnight. Female bodies are different than males, childbirth really changes their bodies, it is how God made them and we should not blame them if they loose shape after they give birth. As long as she is health conscious , you should love her for what she is.
Finally, you say she sleeps in a separate room after the birth of your child. Now I wonder why she has gone off sex with you. Have you ever tried to satisfy her sexually, she seems frustrated. A sexually frustrated woman has two options, either to seek sexual pleasure elsewhere or if she is a good muslim to forget her body and seek pleasure in bringing up her child, which is obviously what your wife is doing. I hope you are not the "Wham, Bam Thank you Ma'am" type of man. A real man has to make sure his wife is satisfied sexually before his own satisfaction. Try to forget your own sexual fantasies for a while and try satisfying your wife for a change. I am sure if you do that she will shift into your room in no time!. I would advise you to download the book "The Perfumed Garden" from the internet. Read it, it tells you what makes a woman tick.
Please don't even think of leaving your wife, you will destroy the life of your good wife and your child also. Islam has given you the option of a second wife, but remember she will also get fat in a couple of years, so will you continue marrying wives? Don't take my advice negatively, look around you, there are many unhappy husbands with very beautiful wives.
Best of luck, with the "Perfumed Garden".