Please help me! I feel like I may lose control!

[Believer1985]

:salam2:
Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I require some desperate help.
Some of you will know this, as I posted a similar story in the Sister's Club. I have to be quick here though.
I was forced into a marriage to my Dad's sister's son. Nikkah was 4 years ago. My dad never takes his family's (wife/kids) side. he tried to also brainwash me into thinking i agreed to marriage.

marriage took place 6 weeks ago. my husband is not nice to me. i thought i trusted him and told him many of my secrets. he told my dad. my dad had a massive go at me this morning. and my dad thinks my husband has done no wrong! my mum is in pakistan and my dad wont let her back. im scared because my dad can get violent and he might hit me if i say a i want divorce. im so scared and i need so much help. my husband doesnt even like me. i dont even have a job and dad wont let me out the house. i spent all day crying so hard because im afraid.

it think by tomorrow my dad will take my phone/internet away from me and i will have no connection to outside world. he also wont let me have friends. i feel like running away from here to another country!

Please make dua for me!

Sister Saman

 

[autumn]

that is such a desperate situation. always remember God and he will help you. find a way to get out and tell the police or go to your friends house. but that is risky. i pray for you. do something. may God help you. or tell your father if he cares, tell someone you know who can help you.

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Sister,

The help you require can not be found on a website. If you do indeed fear for your well being it is time to get some sort of authority involved. Is there a masjid near by. Do you have friends, women, that you can turn to. You need to find a mediator. Is there an imam that your father will listen to.
Your husband broke your trust. Yet, you are now a married woman and your father has no authority over you. There seem to be several issues that need to be reconciled. You are not to be sujbected to physical abuse. If he is to hurt you..you must leave for safety.
Please find a safe place..there has to be someone that you spend a few days with..an older woman. Let us know when you can how you are. This is not a game but very serious. Insha'Allah we will make dua for you.

 

[IbnAdam77]

:salam2:

subuhaanallah sister...my advice is to ask ALLAH (swt) for help, especially in the third part of the night...this is the last days of ramadan and inshaALLAH HE will let you get rid of your problem...

inshaALLAH I will remember you in my duas...

but please dont ever shout at your husband or father...ask ALLAH (swt) to give them hidaayah...( I meant to be practicing muslims)..

please let us know your situation often if you can..

wassalam

-brother IbnAdam-

 

[malickabrother]

May Allah do the best for you?Ameen

 

[Believer1985]

my husband was on the verge of giving me a divorce. he nearly said it three times but it stopped him. the problem is that my dad doesnt believe me, but only believes my husband. my dad is the one and only obstacle in my way. I was thinking of geting outside help, but as i say, my dad wont allow me a phone/internet. i have them now, but there is a chance he will take it off from me as soon as today. i wish i could move out and relocate, but dont know if thats permissable for a young muslim girl, im only 23 and jobless.
i dont want to break my mum and dads heart, but that doesnt mean i will remain miserable. my husband shows me no respect and he is teaming with my dad. he isnt scared because he had my dads backing. i have Allah's backing, but i am still scared, naturally. i wish it was easy for me to run away, far away.
im sleeping in my brother's room for the past five nights, he is in pakistan. im scared to sleep because then my dad will come and find me not in my room. i didnt sleep before sehri or after. this isnt right.

 

[Axmyn]

Salaam
sister,
just remember that you are not in this world alone, you have friends who would be wiling to help you in anyway they can. and everyhing that happens in this life is just a test from allah the almighty.
just bear with this for a while and insha allah everything will be alright.
may allah bless you.

 

[Basicofislam]

:salam2: Sister. i really dont know how bad the situation is and why your husband hates you. But if you fear for your life you should get outside help. Why you cant sleep do you fear they will kill you. If so please call the police. And dont wait even a second longer. Only you know how bad is your situation or what is the real truth behind all this. I know it sounds bad but can i ask you as a sister in islam. Did you have any other relationship with another man that your husband is angry about?????

 

[Believer1985]

I have never been any other man! We just dont get on because we are two VERY different people with different ways of doing things. I dont sleep because I am using my brother's currently vacant room and if my dad sees me he will ask me why im not in my room with my husband. then he will blame me all over again

Thank you for all your replies, they do help!

 

[zulfikar]

:salam2:
Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I require some desperate help.
Some of you will know this, as I posted a similar story in the Sister's Club. I have to be quick here though.
I was forced into a marriage to my Dad's sister's son. Nikkah was 4 years ago. My dad never takes his family's (wife/kids) side. he tried to also brainwash me into thinking i agreed to marriage.

marriage took place 6 weeks ago. my husband is not nice to me. i thought i trusted him and told him many of my secrets. he told my dad. my dad had a massive go at me this morning. and my dad thinks my husband has done no wrong! my mum is in pakistan and my dad wont let her back. im scared because my dad can get violent and he might hit me if i say a i want divorce. im so scared and i need so much help. my husband doesnt even like me. i dont even have a job and dad wont let me out the house. i spent all day crying so hard because im afraid.

it think by tomorrow my dad will take my phone/internet away from me and i will have no connection to outside world. he also wont let me have friends. i feel like running away from here to another country!

Please make dua for me!

Sister Saman

Where do you live sister
It is hard to believe, cause, What a very difficult situation to solve
do you had alredy children?
do you have friends? at least you have family from your mother side, and what about your neighbours? your friends at school?
If you don't have all of them, you still have Allah and Rasulullah.
Rasulullah said "Do something that you have ability to do that" So if you don't have ability to struggling yourself then you must follow the situation, obey your dad and your husband. make a serious du'aa
Except you couldn't take this situation anymore, then you may runaway from your home. Cause I know you had been force for getting married. But you should have planning and destination the place you want to go.

 

[Rivergirl]

:salam2:
sister, where do u live?is it uk? there are many organisations that can help you. i really feel for you,,i wish i could help you personally, it breaks my heart that your father, who should protect you, would force you into something, whether physically or emotionally. why is he not letting ur mum come back from pakistan, she must have her passport with her. what about your brother, they should be here with you. sister,

is your dad more interested in getting your husband his stay in your country? i gues there would also be an element of him wanting you to stay with ur husband to, to save face too. i am also assuming that most relatives/family members would not say anything either if you went for help, some people just dont want to get involved. which leaves friends, and maybe the best they can do is provide emotional support.

in this world, a trusted imam or an older women who works and is respected in the community mosque may help to mediate between you and your father. that also depends whether your father respects these people too i suppose, and only u know that. sister, only Allah can really help, pray like you have never prayed before, stay up at nights, as you are not sleeping anyway, and if your dad sees you, then he cant say anything because you are praying. Ramadan is fastly approaching the end, make most of it! u are married, whether happily or not, your father should not have any say now, however i understand how if your husband is using your father against you, your father thinks it is still his right.

i will pray that your situation resolves and that you are ultimatly happy, inshallah
MAY ALLAH PROTECT YOU,,AMEEN

 

[iqbal313]

take pity with you and pray to the Almighty to save you out of this, if what you are saying are correct. Chasing happiness is chasing a mirage.It is us who makes a situation happy or sad. You want to escape from the current problems,,and what is the guarantee the next situation is going to be better. Ego is created in the minds of humans by Iblis, the cursed. Try to get rid of ego, try a compromise, be patient in the path of Allah, this life is temporary..give it that much importance. Happy families are all alike. Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way....

 

[Habasha Sister]

:salam2:

May Allah help u and ease things for u Insha Allah i will make dua, sis i think its better if u look for someone who can mediate, and seek Allah's help in the day and night of the blessed month, Ramadan, wselam.

 

[Believer1985]

thank you all so much. im in the uk ad i have to admit most my friends are non-muslim white girls. but they are very nice and understanding. im sure one of them will shelter me until im on my own feet. but running away is harder than it sounds, its easier said than done. it will crush my mum. my mum is is pakistan, dad wont let her come back, hel get violent with her. e wont even let her stay at her brothers house, but makes her stay at his sisters house! I hate his sister, shes so mean, and shes my mother in law! there isnt a reason for this. my dad is just very controlling and extremely strict.

 

[diane_k]

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!! I am so sorry you suffer this situation. What kind of FATHER sides with a person not his own child???? If you are in Pakistan (?) I worry for you because as I understand terrible things happen regarding family honor..........I don't know what to say..........I atleast have the option of truly leaving and snubbing them all if I wish.......this is where I say thank God I live in the US........I would try to locate a branch of Women for Women Int'l, they are all over war torn countries and poor areas empowering women, and see if they can offer you shelter or a passage out of there! These men make my skin crawl and they don't deserve the air they breathe.

 

[Munawar]

Salaam,

Sister,

The help you require can not be found on a website. If you do indeed fear for your well being it is time to get some sort of authority involved. Is there a masjid near by. Do you have friends, women, that you can turn to. You need to find a mediator. Is there an imam that your father will listen to.
Your husband broke your trust. Yet, you are now a married woman and your father has no authority over you. There seem to be several issues that need to be reconciled. You are not to be sujbected to physical abuse. If he is to hurt you..you must leave for safety.
Please find a safe place..there has to be someone that you spend a few days with..an older woman. Let us know when you can how you are. This is not a game but very serious. Insha'Allah we will make dua for you.

:salam2: Siaster Saman,

Listen to the advise of Sister mirajmom, these are good advise.

Do you not have a single family member (Aunt, Uncle, Cousin etc) who will side with you and help you?

Running away is usually a very extreme and dangerous option. Look at the girls who run away in America, they usually end up working for pimps. But you are a Muslim Masha-Allah so you need to be very very careful.
If there is a way that you can weather this storm then do that, otherwise get help from a respectable community member , an Imam or a relative.
Websites won't help you at all.

This is the month of Ramadan, keep fasting and praying to Allah to settle your matters in the best way possible. You will feel the impact of your duas. InshaAllah.
May Allah help you and protect you and give you peace.

 

[justoneofmillion]

:salam2:Try to get help from Muslim organizations,or friends cousins ,,,etc just don t fall in the hands of the kuffar that is all they love hearing to paint all Muslims with the same brush,they might show you other horizons that you come to accept as being the norm, as if physical abuse happened only among Muslims!just don t be vulnerable in the presence of the kuffar don t show them you weaknesses neither share your secrets as it might lead you somewhere where you might loose more important than that not your freedom but your deen little by little ...none of them is an option for you, as a Muslim woman you deserve both.

This happens quite often with young sisters without protection don t think that leaving your home for some safe heaven would be uncompromising there is no safe heaven in this jungle.Am sure you are the exception according to yourself ,just don t gamble...

Nevertheless there here are enough muslims in the UK at least that is what they pretend ...and if your husband is man enough and he fears Allah swt he has got to let you go , make things easy for you to be arranged in a peaceful way and free himself his religion and others from the left overs of a tradition that is totally alien to Islam and which is poisoning the very spirit of this Ummah. You do not have to go through this nightmare get in touch with Muslims.Wish you all the best my sister keep in touch with us.

Even in this website there are a lot of sisters from the UK who am sure wouldn t hesitate to offer you concrete help ,in fact they should be competing in extending their arms towards you if they can as Allah swt is witness of their deeds.For the time being keep hoping until things get better and hold onto his rope for your patience and strength are well counted.
[yt]NCHldxuYiEY[/yt]

wassalaam
respectfully
jameel

 

[Karima80]

:salam2: sister,
I will make dua for you. But i really think you should contact your friends and make them aware how serious this is for you. So if your father will take away internet/phone lock you in, they know that they should contact the police. Otherwise i must just say try to stay strong and have patience because you have your mother with your motherinlaw and it can be really bad for her.
Just focus now on the last days of ramadan and hopefully your father be better in mood after, I mean he maybe can celebrate eid and then maybe be nicer with you, inshallah. I will make dua sister and it was just my thoughts about this situaions.
:tti_sister:

 

[Believer1985]

I just wanted to let you know that if my dad takes away my phone/internet tomorrow it will cut off my connection from you all. I will ask you to please pray for me and I'd like to thank you all!

 

[ShyHijabi]

I just wanted to let you know that if my dad takes away my phone/internet tomorrow it will cut off my connection from you all. I will ask you to please pray for me and I'd like to thank you all!

Salaam,

I am actually surprised he gave you a warning before taking it away tomorrow. What was his reasoning for removing internet access?

Wasalaam

~Sarah