Muhammad_fajr
New Member
Jazak Allaah Khyiran
Question on Polygamy
- Thread starter sistersalina
- Start date
I just wanted to apologize for my behavior on here. I truly am sorry. I am having a hard time understanding everything on here because I'm basically a foreigner looking into a completely different culture. I'm going to step back and work on just focusing on reading my Quran, doing my prayers and following the basics before I try to understand anything else.
I sincerely hope that you all can forgive me, if not, I understand. My behavior was inexcusible.
Thank you for taking time to help me. And again, I apologize. I'm so sorry.
I sincerely hope that you all can forgive me, if not, I understand. My behavior was inexcusible.
Thank you for taking time to help me. And again, I apologize. I'm so sorry.
Assalaam walaikum,
Hi sweet Valerie.
It is time for mommy to step in. Sorry it took so long..but I have been going through a thing or two.
This is a subject that can take sense and throw it out of the window. So join the group. But do not stop writing and do not apologize.
Marriage in Islam is more than the union of a man and a woman in love. It is the cornerstone of a civilization. Marriage is the bedrock of stability. If a man can afford to support more than one wife..and he can do with impartiality towards all his wives..Allah in His Wisdom allows it.
I am getting so old. I declare!! When you are young and in love and living in happy happy land..you do not want to share your man with anyone. Please understand that I am being serious. I have been there and done that.
However, polygamy is not about love and happiness. Polygamy is an answer to many social crisis we see each day. It gives a woman a lot of freedom. She can be the perfect wife..and still have room to be an individual. She can be fresh each time she is with her husband. The realtionship never drains either partner. There is no need for jealousy. There is no competition.
It is not about having sex with multiple partners. I think this is where people get hung up. In Islam we can not enter heaven until we wish for our sister that which we wish for ourselves. Now..if Allah has promised me heaven..if I wish for my sister to have what I have..let me share it...to the point of my husband. I have the promise of eternal life in the presence of Allah subhana talla. All I have to do is give someone else a little ease in this temporary life.
Does this make any sense to you..baby sis?
Hi sweet Valerie.
It is time for mommy to step in. Sorry it took so long..but I have been going through a thing or two.
This is a subject that can take sense and throw it out of the window. So join the group. But do not stop writing and do not apologize.
Marriage in Islam is more than the union of a man and a woman in love. It is the cornerstone of a civilization. Marriage is the bedrock of stability. If a man can afford to support more than one wife..and he can do with impartiality towards all his wives..Allah in His Wisdom allows it.
I am getting so old. I declare!! When you are young and in love and living in happy happy land..you do not want to share your man with anyone. Please understand that I am being serious. I have been there and done that.
However, polygamy is not about love and happiness. Polygamy is an answer to many social crisis we see each day. It gives a woman a lot of freedom. She can be the perfect wife..and still have room to be an individual. She can be fresh each time she is with her husband. The realtionship never drains either partner. There is no need for jealousy. There is no competition.
It is not about having sex with multiple partners. I think this is where people get hung up. In Islam we can not enter heaven until we wish for our sister that which we wish for ourselves. Now..if Allah has promised me heaven..if I wish for my sister to have what I have..let me share it...to the point of my husband. I have the promise of eternal life in the presence of Allah subhana talla. All I have to do is give someone else a little ease in this temporary life.
Does this make any sense to you..baby sis?
Yes, thank you. I know this sounds awful, but it sounds different coming from a woman than it does from a man. Really. And I mean no disrespect to the men here.
I just have a hard time letting go of some of the things I was raised with.. My parents have been married for 35 years (I'm 33) and I'm sure they'll be celebrating their 50th anniversary too. And that's how they raised me, one husband, one wife.. that's it.
I will just have to take a deep breath and remember that I'm learning and not everything will make sense to me... I'll just keep looking for answers to my questions and keep myself under control
Thank you
I just have a hard time letting go of some of the things I was raised with.. My parents have been married for 35 years (I'm 33) and I'm sure they'll be celebrating their 50th anniversary too. And that's how they raised me, one husband, one wife.. that's it.
I will just have to take a deep breath and remember that I'm learning and not everything will make sense to me... I'll just keep looking for answers to my questions and keep myself under control
Thank you
Assalaam walaikum,
It is different hearing it from a woman. We are very different beings.
And Insha'Allah your parent will celebrate the golden one.
What is important is the understanding behind what has been allowed for us. We do not have to do it. We have the fard..the obligations. This is simply a cherry on top of the coke. It makes the blessings gush. ( I'm thirsty, sorry for the poor picture ).
Don't think too much. Let the Love flow into your life and be grateful that the beams of Love are descending directly to you. That is what is really important.
It is different hearing it from a woman. We are very different beings.
And Insha'Allah your parent will celebrate the golden one.
What is important is the understanding behind what has been allowed for us. We do not have to do it. We have the fard..the obligations. This is simply a cherry on top of the coke. It makes the blessings gush. ( I'm thirsty, sorry for the poor picture ).
Don't think too much. Let the Love flow into your life and be grateful that the beams of Love are descending directly to you. That is what is really important.
arzafar
Junior Member
oh well there is no need for any apologies.
i have been through all these issues and im still learning. im thankful to TTI and its members that they really know how to dish it out. This is one of the best things about Islam. it's totally upfront and honest, there is no hypocrisy or hiding. Everybody is invited but nobody is forced.
concentrating on salah and quran is the best thing any Muslim (new and old) can do. you'll get there Inshallah just continue praying for guidance. As i have said earlier every woman has the right not to participate in a polygynous marriage. She can stipulate that clause in the marriage contract. The man then becomes bound. Moreover, polygynous marriages comprise less than 10% of all marriages even in saudia simply because most men cannot afford more than one wife. Women have become very high maintenance nowadays.
i have been through all these issues and im still learning. im thankful to TTI and its members that they really know how to dish it out. This is one of the best things about Islam. it's totally upfront and honest, there is no hypocrisy or hiding. Everybody is invited but nobody is forced.
concentrating on salah and quran is the best thing any Muslim (new and old) can do. you'll get there Inshallah just continue praying for guidance. As i have said earlier every woman has the right not to participate in a polygynous marriage. She can stipulate that clause in the marriage contract. The man then becomes bound. Moreover, polygynous marriages comprise less than 10% of all marriages even in saudia simply because most men cannot afford more than one wife. Women have become very high maintenance nowadays.
Munawar
Striving for Paradise
:salam2:
Sister you have to go back 1400 years ago when there were no air planes to fly quickly or cell phones or internet to communicate instantly. I think this was a kind of "rukhsa" i.e. an exemption or a facility given to Muslim men. You see Muslim soilders and merchants had to go long distances, sometimes their journey took several months to complete. In the mean time if he had to marry for some reason then, he was allowed to marry without telling his wife. But in this day and age if someone does that then I think this would be like cheating. People forget that Allah has also commanded Muslim men to treat their wife in a good way, in a "ahsan" way, how can anyone follow an exemption but forget a command.
And to sister Valerie:
As a brother has pointed out... A woman can include a condition at the time of marriage i.e. in the marriage contract, that her husband will not marry another women without her consent first. Or even that he cannot marry another women at all. After this he cannot marry another women according to the Islamic Law.
Problem solved !!!
