salam sisters need help here asap!!!!!!

[justamuslimgirl]

:shymuslima1: sisters hopefully you are all in good health and iman well im 14 years old but i look older than myage i look around 19 but thats okmost people say its because how i dress: jilbab proper hijab most people sayi dress like the women in dubai lol anyway my problem is im at the age were i get mixed feeling about things . when my family come of my house like the family that i dont reallyseen often as soon as they see me they talk about marriage and how beautiful it would be if i get married at this age when they say that im just a bit like errr here we go again but lastweek a brother came to my father asking if it would be ok for him to get to know me my father and mother said yes but there are rules of course like not being alone together but i dont mind the guy is 24 im14 but he knows im 14 but doesnt care but i dont know what to do my mum doesnt like the idea but my dad is thinking about it but im really not sure i really like him but sometimes i just hate the fact that sometimes i hate him and his in love with me . just thinking about 1 month ago i was just an average light skinned somali girl lol but sisters if u have advice for me please say p.s i have a best friend who was married at the age of 14 too but shes kind of saying its better for me because she says im a attractive girl so i might as well get married and get away from the temptartion but she has a point there sister reply to me asap plzz need your advice

also sisters if you want to chaton msn just send me a privert email and give me your addy salam or add mon your buddy list

 

[islam4lyf]

salams sista all i can say is think about it properly you know what you want in life and who you want so decide for your self dnt let any one decide for you! remeber its what you want nt anyone else trust me if you start listening to others summits gunna go wrong. listen to what your heart says and do istikhara and pray to allah.

 

[AishaHadi]

:salam2:

You are 14 and you want to get married wow i mean mashallah sister.

Well my advise to you is DO NOT rush into marriage, think about it carefully.

Ask yourself, do you understand the whole concept of marriage?

Is he religiously committed, and does he have a good akhlaq (manners)

Do you know the role of husband/wife in Islam?

What are you looking for in a spouse? Do you think he has those qualities?

He maybe or maybe not inlove with you but you shouldnt base your decisions on that. Love is never enough LOL

What are your future goals? Are you planning to leave school to become a full time housewife [there is nothing wrong with that] but you have to make sure you and your future husband are on the same page before you get married just to avoid complications later on.



There is nothing wrong with you getting married at a young age but you have to physically and mentally prepare for it inshallah.

Pray and make heaps of dua May Allh make it easy for you and if you need some article to readregarding marriage you can visit http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?cref=343&ln=eng

That's just a start there are many other websites, but inshallah kheir

:salam2:

 

[Faisal_01]

Are you kidding me?

Sister,

I've read your post, and even though I'm a a brother, after reading the responses from other members I want to give my honest opinion.


Here it is:

You are 14 years old. You are NOT ready for the responsibility of marriage. Trust me on that.

I know I dont know you.


But you are not ready for marriage in this age. You have a whole life ahead of you.


Seriously......................you ARE 14.


You wanna know the raw truth about what you should do?



The truth is this:

1) Finish School
2) Plan Your life
3) Live life
4) Consider the rest of your life. (for example marriage)



I am actually quite disturbed by the fact that a 24 year old guy is asking to marry a 14 year old girl. This set off red warning lights in the back of my mind as soon as I read your post.


Take Care.

May Allah bless you

 

[manOfpeace]

Sister,

I've read your post, and even though I'm a a brother, after reading the responses from other members I want to give my honest opinion.


Here it is:

You are 14 years old. You are NOT ready for the responsibility of marriage. Trust me on that.

I know I dont know you.


But you are not ready for marriage in this age. You have a whole life ahead of you.


Seriously......................you ARE 14.


You wanna know the raw truth about what you should do?



The truth is this:

1) Finish School
2) Plan Your life
3) Live life
4) Consider the rest of your life. (for example marriage)



I am actually quite disturbed by the fact that a 24 year old guy is asking to marry a 14 year old girl. This set off red warning lights in the back of my mind as soon as I read your post.


Take Care.

May Allah bless you

:salam2:
I think brother Faisal has a piont, Sister Justmuslimgirl if you ask me my opinion for this mater i think i would say to you, you are still young so don't marry at this age maybe when you are 18 or 19, but at 14 you can't take the responsibility of being wife and at 15 being Mom.... It is too early to marry at 14

 

[Faiza619]

Asalam Aleikum
Sister i think i will support the brothers who are giving you good advise
but i also think you should just pray Istikhara and Allah will guide you to the true path which you should follow
at the same time a muslim does not harm herself in any way and since you are 14, your body is still not really ready to have children or you are planning to wait some 4 or 5 years to have children
i hope you will solve the problem with Allah's guidance
May Allah Guide us all
Ameen

 

[Muslim18]

Sister sometimes age doesnt matter it depends on the person and if you are ready mentally and if you think this guy will help you in terms of your deen etc. and if he is a good muslim then its all your choice and make dua to allah to guide you to the right path NO one can tell you to not get married i ask does any of us know if we will live tommorow you cant plan 5 years maybe yo might be ready for marriage if not you will find someone else inshallh but just remember you dont have to rush into it or follow what we say just ask ALLAH TO GUIDE YOU :tti_sister:

p.s. i dont think mariage is a jail you can plan around it in terms of education etc my cousin is married. pregnant and in university inshallah you can find a balance!! hope my advice helped

 

[jamilgame]

Sister your 14, you seriously need to consider your options, the guys 24 thats 10 years older then you, you've just become a teenager, the fact that his asking for marriage with you is odd, because im 18 i would never think about marriage to an 8 year old in this day and age, if you 24 and he was 34 thats diffrent, but not like this. Anyways sister it's your life but also rememeber you are still young your decisions may be valid but not always the wisest.

W'salam

 

[xohanifaxo]

saalam

wow....um...i think ur a little too yound to get married...in 15...and i haven't even thought about it yet...i advise u to not got married if u want a education and u want to be something instead of a housewife and look how much older he is than u
(10 years...thats alot!!)....and i bet u can find someone better when ur older...no offense...but please don't marry at the age of 14...u have so much in life to do...getting married may ruin it ..it's ur choice choose wisely!!
wasaalam

 

[happy 2 b muslim]

salam alaykum


i would first of all say SUBHANALAH you sound like your grown up and everything but the fact is i feel for you its going to be REALLY HARd. I know that aisha (RA) got marry young as women at that time, However sister am NOt going to say you cant handle it but allah knows so sister take it easy and wait a couple of years it will do you good because during that thime youll have grown and understood thing more. Am only a couple of years older that you But i have to finish school then get in to Uni then work then ill think of it but if i did it know how could i handle it say if i have kids it will add more year for me to get the job so personally wait. And PLus i know you beautiful n that but WAIT A BIT....

 

[TheKnowledgeSeeker]

Ok, next question ...but seriously you are 14 years old. Don't listen to people and you are not ready my sister by the way is that even llegal at french? You have a lot to learn in life and the worest thing is you did not even get to see the best side of being a teenage and personaly i would hate to see any of my young sister getting miss the chance to grow and you are my sister so please think about it before you make a mistake you will look at and regard. No matter what you said to your parants they are going to be there for you wheather they want or not. Enjoy life while you can because you are going to have to complete the other half of your deem (marriage) soon or later just now untill you feel like you completely enjoy your life. And what in world is 24 four year old doing ask you for marriage? Anyways spend in school get education, enjoy your teen years, go after your dreams, and last but least get marry when you feel like you have you can take the role of a wife plus a mother as islam states. Best advice little sis pray to allow! You luck and i wish you the best.

 

[ponderer]

my OPINION:
woah....i just turned 15...like 3 days ago so i still think im 14.....and woah...thats young! i mean...seriously...are you ready?? you honestly think that you can stay true to yourself and him....come home and see instead of your parents faces, his? at this age people get crushes all the time...but the problem is, they stop liking too...so this isnt a boyfriend/girlfriend thing that you're getting yourself into(and dont ever get into it...!!) and besides.....24!! thats 10 years old....and you might look old, but you're not! what if you marry and you (allah forbid) see another guy you might like....or the other way around when hes at work or universtiy or whereever...the saying think outside of the box....really, do just that...dont think of only now but later on....when you're old and hes older...but you know what?...thats my opinion only....and you need to keep that in mind too....i dont know you, you might be a whole lot more mature than i am...i cant imagine not having my mom in the same house yet!!♥
but what you SHOULD do for SURE: pray pray and pray for guidance, and a good destiny, and also do an istakhara and ask your mom to do it too. and whatever the result you get from it, follow it even if you might not like it, because its a guidance from allah....(there is this website in whcih you tell your problem to an imam i think and you can also ask him to do an istakhara for you too)

if i offended you in any way, i'm sorry i didnt mean to...i just replied how i would to myself, my friend, my sister

may allah help you out and give you a good life here and in the hereafter
allah hafiz

 

[Optimist]

If you are in the UK then dont. It is is illegal and you will get urself, ur family and ur future husband in too much trouble.

Otherwise I cant really advice. It is not an easy decision to make to say the least.

and I'm a bro ... sorry for the interjection.

 

[youss123]

my mother in algeria was get maried at this age wat's a problem? she finish with kids at 20, after this year she has all time to do all things in here life

 

[amirah80]

:salam2:

Sister first I know marriage his half of our deen and mashallah you are considering marriage at your head. But at 14 I take it you are in high school I think you should at least finish high school before marriage. Because with marriage comes alot of responsiblility I am sure you know that. Children, etc.. With children it could be difficult to complete your education. I know your find said you are attractive mashallah and with get married to deal with temptation. But temptation will come and go married or not this is a personal jihad within yourself that you must learn of to deal with. Most younger women these days tend to look older LOL with hijab or not. But whatever you decide sis may Allah bless you abundately. Just make sure if that is what you want and something you are mentally and physically ready for.

Salam Amirah80

 

[cmelbouzaidi]

:salam2:

dear little sister, please think very carefully about this lifetime commitment. i am 38 and easily old enough to be your mother. you are 14 and your note reads like the mind of a 14 year old, you are not mentally ready, in my opinion. i don't care if you look 18 or 19, that is irrelevant. finish school and when you are an adult, see what you want to do with your life Insha Allah. make duaa and Insha Allah, you will be guided to make the best decision for your life.

 

[raf_sha]

Dear Sister,

I am a mother of two beautiful girls. I would really advice you to wait for some more time. Live your life. Life ifs full of great things. At 14 its easy to get infatuated and feel that you are in love. I do not know how the situation is in your country, but t is best to wait and see how life turns out. Inshallah I hope and pray you will find a great match as your life partner...just do not rush into it as yet.

 

[Shaghayegh]

Is it even legal to marry at 14?

 

[al-muslimah]

This thread is so old..i was just gonna post somthing to her..lol maybe she already got married

any updates sister?

 

[Zainudin Jaffar]

Dear Sister,

I am a mother of two beautiful girls. I would really advice you to wait for some more time. Live your life. Life ifs full of great things. At 14 its easy to get infatuated and feel that you are in love. I do not know how the situation is in your country, but t is best to wait and see how life turns out. Inshallah I hope and pray you will find a great match as your life partner...just do not rush into it as yet.

Whoa! there's a clash of cultures over here.
What to be consider as a norm in some countries but not in others.
Do you have a say in this matter or choices or is it all drawn out by your parents?
I tend to agree with sis raf sha that you wait for a few more years before deciding, if you are given a choice. But I don't know much about your culture, we could be saying the wrong thing and offend you and your parents.

Can you give a bit more information about your culture? just a tiny bit so we can have a little more understanding here.

wassalam