Sister in need.....

A

AishaR

Junior Member
:salam2: all

I have a problem which I hope you can help me with......

I am due to visit my parents in a few days & am worried about wearing my hijab. My parents know I have reverted & are fine with that but I really dont know how they will take to me wearing my hijab. I have seen the look my parents give to the muslims they see wearing hijab, a look of pity. I would hope that my parents know me well enough, that I am a strong person who wudnt do anything I didnt want to do. I have tried to explain to them before why muslims wear hijab but they didnt seem to understand wear a beautiful girl wud want to hide herself away. They dont understand that I feel protected & safe from prying eyes, they think it draws more attention to yourself....
So do I wear my hijab on my journey there, then take it off & leave it in the car or ride out the storm. I really dont want to be disrespectful to my parents but think that it cud cause unrest.
If any sisters have had the same struggle, please let me know how you overcame this situ.

:wasalam:
 
samiha

samiha

---------
Staff member
AishaR said:
:salam2: all

I have a problem which I hope you can help me with......

I am due to visit my parents in a few days & am worried about wearing my hijab. My parents know I have reverted & are fine with that but I really dont know how they will take to me wearing my hijab. I have seen the look my parents give to the muslims they see wearing hijab, a look of pity. I would hope that my parents know me well enough, that I am a strong person who wudnt do anything I didnt want to do. I have tried to explain to them before why muslims wear hijab but they didnt seem to understand wear a beautiful girl wud want to hide herself away. They dont understand that I feel protected & safe from prying eyes, they think it draws more attention to yourself....
So do I wear my hijab on my journey there, then take it off & leave it in the car or ride out the storm. I really dont want to be disrespectful to my parents but think that it cud cause unrest.
If any sisters have had the same struggle, please let me know how you overcame this situ.

:wasalam:
Click to expand...

:salam2:

No, I can't reply to this question in the way of the exact type of experience, and I might be too young to say anything, but perhaps it would be best to just wear your hijab and get it over with? I mean I once read a quote, "WHO WOULD YOU RATHER PLEASE, CREATION OR CREATOR?" I know parents mean well but sometimes they don't want to see or acknowledge things. When I first began wearing my hijab to school it was really uncomfortable. I mean I grew up with these kids and all of a sudden I was oceans different from them. I had responsibilities to my religion, while their only responsibility seemed like finishing homework, and getting to practice on time. It worked out better when I began talking about it, and if they didn't listen then I remembered the Quran where it said "To you be your religion, and to me my religion" (109:6)

I know these are different situations completely, but I think you should perhaps have patience ask Allah for help and perhaps do Istikarah.

May Allah help all those who strive on His path.

:wasalam:
 
A

AishaR

Junior Member
:salam2:

Thank you sister Samiha for your reply. That is how I am feeling. My parents have looked after me all of my life & I really dont want to hurt them but realise I have a duty to do & only I will be accountable for that.
I will ask Allah for guideance.

:wasalam:
 
A

attan

Member
My prayers especially for you. May Allah give you strength, for you to stay steadfast in your trials and tribulations. May Allah be pleased with you.
 
Mabsoot

Mabsoot

Amir
Staff member
Assalamu Alaykum,

Its your choice, would they look same way at you if you dressed in revealing clothes?

As long as you are wearing the hijab in the open where there is chance of non-mahram men seeing you, then it is OK if you take it off just before seeing your parents.

But, the question needs to be asked how long you will be willing to stall them..... Its better if you talked to them and make them understand why you wear it, that you wear it from your own choice. Perhaps, if they follow Christianity?? you can tell them how Maryam Alayha salam wore hijab, and she is even depicted as wearing hijab in various Christian books and imagery. - She is not seen as oppressed but as being a modest and God fearing lady.

Some Orthodox Christians still wear it in Eastern Europe and Russia and of course, nuns wear it..... Yet they are not seen as oppressed or looked at in pity.

Your commitment first goes to please Allah (Subhana wa ta'ala)..

And I think it will be better for you in the long run to tell them, then to try and avoid the situation, which you might be feeling guilty about.

Allah knows best... May Allah help you

wasalam.
 
D

David Gould

New Member
Sister in need

As a non Mulim Parent who has had daughters of my own can I just say that a parent has to respect the choices that their child makes. Yes we might check it out to see if we agree with their logic...we can't help being old worriers about our children even when they are grown up.

As a parent it is not my place to judge...only one will do that for each of us. Hopefully I would be accepting, respectfull, ever loving and full of support.

Hope this helps you have the courage of your convictions.
 
A

AishaR

Junior Member
Hello David

Thanx for your wise words. My biggest fear is upsetting them. They have always been there for me, no matter what.....

Take care
 
M

mualaf

Member
Hi Sister Aishah,

I am Ridwan Abdullah from Malaysia.I was a Hindu before I converted to Islam.I had the same reaction from my mom too after I converted to Islam.She cried knowing that I had left Hinduism.You see the main reason she disagrees of me converting is because some muslims have really tarnished Islam and non-muslims see this as a reason why they should avoid Islam.For example in Islam alhocol is HARAM but still we see muslims drinking them here.So they question as to how special Islam can be compare to other religion.But i asked my mom what changes did she see in me after i converted,and she said i that she noticed i have stopped drinking,partying and womanising and she's happy with that.To make it short,I explained to her about Islam bit by bit everytime i see her and that i tell her of the food i can eat (halal) and that I do not eat (haram).She begins to accept me now,in fact the main reason is because i being a muslim spends a lot of time with her unlike my other siblings who are not.She doesn't eat pork anymore and and is comfortable with me performing my solat in her house.
My point is Aishah,your wear your hijab,you be close to your family,closer that u are before u converted,u explain to them the benefit of hijab,the benefit of not drinking alcohol ,the halal/haram food that u can/can't consume and many more benefits of Islam without being arogant(coz we tend to have that feeling while talking to non-muslims about Islam,and inshaAllah they will accept it someday.Its a process that takes time.If you remove ur hijab,then it becomes a weakness and a question to them of how special Islam can be compare to other religion.

Asa'alamualaikum wbr
 
I

iman27

Junior Member
Salam alaikum sister, I know exactly what you're going through. I became muslim 5 years ago and when I told my family they were VERY upset with me. They thought I was ruining my life. I used to do the same thing, I would wear hijab except at work and in front of my family. Then I prayed to Allah to give me the strength and courage to wear the hijab all the time. One day I just decided to do it. I was a nervous wreck the first time I wore it to work but my coworkers just asked me some questions and that's about it. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. There were some that talked behind my back but I didn't care about them. After awhile it was as if I was always a muslim. The first time is always the hardest. Then I also decided just to get it over with with my family so I went to my mom's house one day with my scarf on and actually she didn't even say anything to me about it. I'm sure she said something to other members of my family though. It was difficult for a while because my mom and sister would barely speak to me and I was never invited to family get togethers anymore. I was very hurt and sad for a while. Then I think my family finally saw how I had changed for the better since becoming muslim and that it wasn't just a phase I was going through. Al humdulillah I'm closer to my family now then ever before and now they're actually starting to ask more questions about islam, for example why do women wear hijab, etc. Now when I answer I feel like they're really listening this time. Insha'Allah Allah will make it easy on you sister, but if at first your family is upset, just try to have patience and perseverence and insha'Allah they will come around with time, because sometimes that's what people need is time. Also remember that Allah(SWT) says, "that after every hardship comes ease." Sister read the last 2 verses of al Baqarah. My best advice is to just tell them you're wearing hijab or to just go to the house wearing it, maybe take some literature about hijab with you so they can read about it. I gave my family a video called Hijab: An Act of Faith to watch. I got it from Soundvision.com it's quite good. Good luck to you sister and be strong, remember your first priority is to please Allah.
Allah hafiz

PS: The longer you wait to tell them the more stressed you'll be. I felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders when I told them.
 
A

azizuddin

New Member
the hijab

sister,

pl wear the hijab until you get to your parents home. After that you can remove them at home. It is ok for your parents to see you without the hijab bcoz Islam does not severe a relationship between parents and their children.

Wassalm
Azizuddin
 
AZAM_SIDDIQUI

AZAM_SIDDIQUI

Junior Member
I WOULD STRONGLY SAY WEAR IT .
WHO KNOWS IT BECOMES A MEANS OF THEIR INTEREST IN ISLAM.BY ALLAH ,BY THE BASIC FITRA ONWHICH HE CREATED US EVERY FATHER LOVES TO SEE HIS DAUGHTER MODEST .
ONCE U FALL IN THIS TRAP OF SATAN WHO IS EMOTIONALLY BLACKMAILING U,AND REALIZE THAT U FAILED IN UR DUTY TO ALLAH WHO CRETED FOR U UR LOVING PARENTS U WOULD HATE URSELF,AND ULL HATE URSELF MORE BECOZ U SHOULD BE VERY OPEN ABOUT TALKING ,NOT AVOIDING ISLAM, WE WANT ON THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT TO ATLEAST BAY -SEE I TOLD U ,U DID LISTEN NOW WE R IN PARADISE !ALHAMDULLILLAH
ATLEAST WORST CASE SCENARIO U SHUD BE ABLE TO SAY ALHAMDULLILLAH PRAISE TO ALLAH WHO GV MY HEART THE STRENGTH TO UPHOLD WHAT HE LOVES.and remember whom Allah loves every one loves.

so dear sister go ahead.meet them wearing it be haapy to wear it and be happy to meety them.inside u tk it out .tell them they r mahrams so its allowed and hv a healthy discussion.DONT FEAR THEM -LOVE THEM as they loved u when u were young.and pray for them tooo
UR PARENTS BCOZ OF WHOM U CUD NOT WEAR UR HIJAB
 
allah is with me

allah is with me

Rabana Wa laqal Hamd
AishaR said:
:salam2: all

I have a problem which I hope you can help me with......

I am due to visit my parents in a few days & am worried about wearing my hijab. My parents know I have reverted & are fine with that but I really dont know how they will take to me wearing my hijab. I have seen the look my parents give to the muslims they see wearing hijab, a look of pity. I would hope that my parents know me well enough, that I am a strong person who wudnt do anything I didnt want to do. I have tried to explain to them before why muslims wear hijab but they didnt seem to understand wear a beautiful girl wud want to hide herself away. They dont understand that I feel protected & safe from prying eyes, they think it draws more attention to yourself....
So do I wear my hijab on my journey there, then take it off & leave it in the car or ride out the storm. I really dont want to be disrespectful to my parents but think that it cud cause unrest.
If any sisters have had the same struggle, please let me know how you overcame this situ.

:wasalam:
Click to expand...
oh! its so damn tough about this matter ......well, sister will you drive the car alone ? and if you do .,then you can remove your hijab ....but , sister as per as i think ... hiding the rules of Islam is not proper thing you must do..well, if your in problem Allah will itself show you the way to chuck this problem out (isnallah)...if i find any thing to solve your problem then i will surely tell you (inshallah)..:blackhijab:
 
B

BigAk

Junior Member
It is amazing to me the courage I read about some of the sisters have and the things that they have to endour and go through in order to please Allah. As a male born into Islam, I relate none to your experiences but I take off my hat to salute you. You strengthen my iman and impact my life positively. I ask Allah to strengthen you and keep you steady on the right path and grant you Jannah. Ameen... :D

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