slaveofAllah88
Slave of Allah (swt)
aslam o aliakum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
SubhanAllah you know i have been crazy about getting married since i was maybe around 18, and i have been telling my parents about it, and HERE i am back again with another marriage question, seeking the wisdom of my brothers/sisters on the same topic yes MARRIAGE.
Well inshAllah im moving forward in my education, in like 2 year i should be in a point of my life where i can afford a family.
Last 3-4 years have been a roller coaster where i have been confuse and lost which girl to marry my parents talk about it but always reminding me to finish your education before anything i think i just got to the point where i just gave up, but 2 years back my mom's friend daughter who is around 5 years younger than me, my mom mentioned her, I wasn't really happy about the idea but it was in the back of my head and i was trying in other places but honestly something would come mostly parents not agreeing and it didn't work out, So eventually i talked to this girl (obviously without telling my parents she is in Pakistan) and i grew up in the west, and i really started to like her so i agreed to marriage. My mom knows, her parents agree the girl is in agreement but since the begining the problem been her education she wants to be a doctor more than anything and did really well in grade 12, i obviously dont like the idea and i don't want her to do med school she tried pharm but gave up cuz she hated it and wants to persue medical. Today my mom and her parents sat down explaining to me why i should just let her study medical, Both parents say: u have 1 year till u can do nikah anywayz and then it will take approx 1.5-2 years for her to get her visa and come. So everyone is like why dont u wait 4 years and she can complete her med school.
BUT idk how to explain this to someone else my heart is sinking at the thought of not being married for another 4 years, im 26 now i will be maybe 30/31 by then, like subhanAllah
i will be old i will end up being another one of those 30 year old married guys who wont travel or do anything with my wife but we will be at a point where we would just wanna have kids. This life is what really scares me, SubhanAllah i have been wanted to get married since i was 18 just so i could marry young have a young wife , so we would grow together, maybe travel, have a different lifestyle to enjoy each other company have our youth to spend with each other but idk how to explain i feel so sad knowing no matter what i did im still going to be 30 and then get married.
I tried to talk to her this morning, explaining how she wont be able to give me alot of time in med school even if we do the nikah and she agrees her studies will be tough But the parents on both side disagree they say when the girl is married she will want to talk to u and be with u and she can come visit you during her vacation, they keep on explaining to me how time will pass quickly u wont even realize it and ur being really immature for not letting her study.
LIke she wants to be a doctor and right now she says i wont even practice i just wanna do it for the education and her parents guarentee that but who is to say she wont do that and what if she comes to the US and then she says hey i wanna write the examination here do the residency and start practicing , my parents all say no she wont do that and i should just let her study and this will allow me to also mature in my way of thinking and allow her to be mature enough for marriage too.
I don't know idk wallahi what to think what to say, my heart and my mind is stuck on this girl, but i feel like i am starting to hate her eternally for doing med school i feel like she should pick us over her career/education back home, get married then she can come here and what watever she desires, SubhanAllah even if i pick another one from back home we r looking 2.5- 3 year till i can live with her, i've been looking in the west but haven't found a suitable match but even then thats around 1.5 year
SubhanAllah im so upset internally, i feel like the society has pushed me to the knees where i keep on thinking why didn't i just enjoy my early 20's my teens while i was young i have had so much energy so much wife but i always dreamed of a wedding filled with Allah (swt) mercy in a small setting where we can focus on studying our deen complete our education.
La illaha i will be 30 and still living in an empty apartment
SubhanAllah you know i have been crazy about getting married since i was maybe around 18, and i have been telling my parents about it, and HERE i am back again with another marriage question, seeking the wisdom of my brothers/sisters on the same topic yes MARRIAGE.
Well inshAllah im moving forward in my education, in like 2 year i should be in a point of my life where i can afford a family.
Last 3-4 years have been a roller coaster where i have been confuse and lost which girl to marry my parents talk about it but always reminding me to finish your education before anything i think i just got to the point where i just gave up, but 2 years back my mom's friend daughter who is around 5 years younger than me, my mom mentioned her, I wasn't really happy about the idea but it was in the back of my head and i was trying in other places but honestly something would come mostly parents not agreeing and it didn't work out, So eventually i talked to this girl (obviously without telling my parents she is in Pakistan) and i grew up in the west, and i really started to like her so i agreed to marriage. My mom knows, her parents agree the girl is in agreement but since the begining the problem been her education she wants to be a doctor more than anything and did really well in grade 12, i obviously dont like the idea and i don't want her to do med school she tried pharm but gave up cuz she hated it and wants to persue medical. Today my mom and her parents sat down explaining to me why i should just let her study medical, Both parents say: u have 1 year till u can do nikah anywayz and then it will take approx 1.5-2 years for her to get her visa and come. So everyone is like why dont u wait 4 years and she can complete her med school.
BUT idk how to explain this to someone else my heart is sinking at the thought of not being married for another 4 years, im 26 now i will be maybe 30/31 by then, like subhanAllah
I tried to talk to her this morning, explaining how she wont be able to give me alot of time in med school even if we do the nikah and she agrees her studies will be tough But the parents on both side disagree they say when the girl is married she will want to talk to u and be with u and she can come visit you during her vacation, they keep on explaining to me how time will pass quickly u wont even realize it and ur being really immature for not letting her study.
LIke she wants to be a doctor and right now she says i wont even practice i just wanna do it for the education and her parents guarentee that but who is to say she wont do that and what if she comes to the US and then she says hey i wanna write the examination here do the residency and start practicing , my parents all say no she wont do that and i should just let her study and this will allow me to also mature in my way of thinking and allow her to be mature enough for marriage too.
I don't know idk wallahi what to think what to say, my heart and my mind is stuck on this girl, but i feel like i am starting to hate her eternally for doing med school i feel like she should pick us over her career/education back home, get married then she can come here and what watever she desires, SubhanAllah even if i pick another one from back home we r looking 2.5- 3 year till i can live with her, i've been looking in the west but haven't found a suitable match but even then thats around 1.5 year
SubhanAllah im so upset internally, i feel like the society has pushed me to the knees where i keep on thinking why didn't i just enjoy my early 20's my teens while i was young i have had so much energy so much wife but i always dreamed of a wedding filled with Allah (swt) mercy in a small setting where we can focus on studying our deen complete our education.
La illaha i will be 30 and still living in an empty apartment
