Taking The Husband's Name After Marriage

Sanaa01

Muslima
Asalamo Aliakom brothers and sisters
I live in a non Muslim country so when I got married I didn't know that taking the husbands last name is not allowed in Islam we kind of went with flow like any other couple when they get married the women usually changes her last name to the husband last name but after couple of years I found that it is not based on shari'a and haram so right now I am going through a painful process with the court also high fees to change my last name to my maiden name. Now I know that I am doing the right thing so that makes me feel good about it
I just wanted my Muslim sisters who lives in the west to know about this I wish if I knew about it back then

Here is something for you to read


Taking The Husband's Name After Marriage - Not Based on Shareeah

In our eagerness to copy the West, we Muslims have adopted many of their practices which have no basis in the Sharee’ah. And among them is the practice of a woman changing her family name to that of her husband after she gets married.
The fact is that Islam does not require woman to change her name at marriage and there is nothing in the Sunnah to indicate that a woman should take her husband’s name after she gets married.
Actually, the Ulama tell us that this is an innovated practice that is not approved of in Islaam.
Now, I know some people will say…“ Oh, come on…What is the big deal?!!”
So read on and you will know what I mean….


The wives of the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) are the Mothers of the Believers, and the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam), is the noblest of people and the best example. And yet when we look at their example, we will realize that when the Prophet(Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) married any of his wives, NOT ONE of them took his name. On the contrary, each one of them kept her father’s name even if her father was a kaafir. Similarly, the wives of the Sahaabah and those who came after them did not change their names.

Did you ever think why they didn’t do that?
Surely, if it was a good thing, the wives of the Prophet(Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) would have done it and the Prophet(Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) would himself have instructed it and encouraged them to do it.
That is because it is Allaah’s order to keep your father’s name as an indication of your lineage.




“Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allaah…” [al-Ahzaab 33:5].
And the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: "Whoever calls himself by other than his father’s
name, will be cursed by Allaah, the angels and all the people." (Ibn Maajah -Saheeh by al-Albaani).

And he (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) also said:


“Whoever knowingly claims to belong to anyone other than his father, Paradise will be denied him.” (Ahmad, al-Bukhaari, Muslim).

Now some might argue….“But the woman is not claiming that her father is someone else. She is just honoring her husband or she doesn’t mean it that way. She just wants to belong to her husband out of love for him.”


To those people I say….
If it was a matter of honor to have the husbands name attached to the wife’s, wouldn’t our Ummahaat have done that??


Isn’t it the biggest honor in the WORLD to have the name of the Prophet(Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) attached to yours?? And yet the wives of the Prophet(Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) didn’t do that.
Ever wonder why??


And if it was a matter of expressing love for the husband, no relationship between a husband and wife on the face of this earth was better than the relationship between the Prophet(Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) and his wives. And yet none of the Mothers of the Believers expressed their love for the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) by changing their last names.

It doesn’t make any sense
The last name is an indication of the father of the person and represents the person’s lineage.
Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd said: “This is one of the beauties of Sharee’ah, because calling a person by his father’s name is more appropriate for knowing who is who and telling people apart…..” (Tasmiyat al-Mawlood, 30, 31).

Originally, the woman is ‘the Daughter of So and so’, and NOT ‘the wife of So and so’. Since there is no blood relationship between the husband and wife, how can she take his last name as if she is part of the same lineage?


And surely, she is not claiming that he is her father!!!!
Also what happens if she gets divorced, or her husband dies, and she marries another man? Will she keep changing her surname every time she marries another man?
In addition to this, there are rulings attached to the woman being named after her father, which have to do with her inheritance, spending and who is her mahram, etc. Taking her husband’s last name overlooks all that.


Also, if you think about it, the husband is named after his own father, and what does she have to do with the lineage of her husband’s father? This goes against common sense and true facts.
Besides, the husband has nothing that makes him better than his wife’s father. So why should she give up her father’s name and take her husband’s last name??
And why does the man get to keep his father’s name and not the woman??!!
It just doesn’t make any sense.

Sheikh Salih Al-Munajjid says:
“A woman changing her family name to that of her husband after she gets married is Haraam and is not allowed in Sharee’ah, because it is not permissible for anyone to claim to belong to anyone other than his or her father…… And Allaah knows best.” (www.islamqa.com)

Not only is it so in this world, but, we will also be called by our father‘s name in the Hereafter as well. The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
“On the Day of Resurrection, each betrayer will have a banner raised beside him, and it will be said, this is the betrayer of So and so, the son of So and so.” (Bukhaari, Muslim).


So, all you single females out there, don’t be in such a hurry to change your maiden name after you get married. And those of you who have already done that, it is never too late. Take back your maiden name and reclaim your identity. It is part of the Sharee’ah.
 

kiki18

Junior Member
wow this is good information. i always thought of keeping my name but didn't know it was a good thing :D
 

Tabassum07

Smile for Allah
The problem is in the west they use "Mrs" and then the last name of the husband to call you. If they see my maiden name and say "Mrs [insert maiden name here]" then that isn't me, but my mother?

I've always thought to not legally change my name.
 

ummi h

Junior Member
i didnt take my husbands last name but my daughter has her fathers name, this brings lots of confusion here in london, proving yourself that you are her mother and why i didnt take my husbands name.iv done this so many times..im always ready to explain to whomever asks..

my sister had a problem..when we both got married in london we did it in the masjid,we were givin a muslim marriage certificate..

How weired is this,,when my sister's husband moved to abu-dhabi for work, she went with him but had so much problem proving they were married and had to do register marriage in the british embassy and had to take her husband's name, she had no choice...this is in a muslim country.
 

Muslimah-S

Seek The Almighty
:salam2:
JazzakAllahu khair sister for the informative info.
I wanted to ask what if a person has thier mother's surname and not thier father's, is that wrong? What should one do about that?

If anyone knows I would be grateful for the answer. Shukran.

Wasalam
 

Jannah03

Junior Member
i have not changed my name since i know i dont have to, a woman changing her last name indicates that she is now her husbands property, thats how this 'tradition' began. businesses dont believe that i am my husbands wife just because we dont have the last name, and make sure you tell them. they believe that every woman must change her last name and we dont espeically us muslims. its easier yeah dealing with businesses or trying to dispel a matter for your husband over the phone, or even at the bank, but us muslim women are free women. we are not our husbands property but their mate. mashallah
 

Sanaa01

Muslima
:salam2:
JazzakAllahu khair sister for the informative info.
I wanted to ask what if a person has thier mother's surname and not thier father's, is that wrong? What should one do about that?

If anyone knows I would be grateful for the answer. Shukran.

Wasalam




Child taking the mother's surname instead of the father's
Question:
What is the ruling of a child taking the mother's surname instead of the father's?

Answer:
As far as a Muslim mans family name, the common practice in Muslim society is that the children take it from their fathers and that is in line with the Qur'anic verse that states 'call them by their father's (name)'. (33:5)

So the children will take the title of their fathers, they don't take the name of their mothers. Though it is expected of a child, male or female, to carry the father's family name, it would not be a cultured prejudice or disadvantage to a Pakistani or Indian Muslim child if he/she did not bear the father's name.
 

gazkour

Junior Member
Assalamo alikom wa rahmato Allah wa barakato

Very useful information. Unfortunately I was one of the ones who changed my father's name for my husband's. How difficult do you guys think would be to change all my documents (passports, property and so)to have my own name back again?

Thanks for any reply,

May Allah bless you all.

Assalamo alikom wa rahmato Allah wa barakato
 

Obase

Speaks his mind...
I would have prefered my wife keeping her family name and not taking mine but we registered at office (post nikah) and hence her names bears my family name- I don't like it that way and we were discussing it the other day- but she never changed her documents, I think apart from one bank account, she has her family name.
 

Sanaa01

Muslima
Very useful information. Unfortunately I was one of the ones who changed my father's name for my husband's. How difficult do you guys think would be to change all my documents (passports, property and so)to have my own name back again?

Thanks for any reply,

May Allah bless you all.

Assalamo alikom wa rahmato Allah wa barakato


:salam2:

I don't know about the country where you live but here in USA they made me fill up couple of forms and took them to my local court and published my new name in a local news paper for four weeks and gave me a date to show up in front of the judge after he approved it I took that piece of paper and used it to change my ID, drivers license, passport, bank accounts…..

I think they make you go through court and all this because they don’t want criminals to change their names.

My husband doest have a problem with this at all as I said we never thought this was against shari'a I never went through court or anything in the beginning when I got married we wrote my husband last name in the marriage certificate and then changed my ID and other document so that’s how I got my husband last name.

You should check with your local court to see what steps you need to follow

Wasalamo Alaikom
 

gazkour

Junior Member
Assalamo alikom wa rahmato Allah wa barakato

Thank you vey much for answering Ayman1 and Sanaa01. I asked my husband and he said I didn't have a choice at the time since I was giving my british citizenship through our marriage, and they required me to use his name. If I change it, I would have to keep our marriage certificate with me, nearly all the time..what a hassle!
Allah knows best.

Assalamo alikom wa rahmato Allah wa barakato
 

Akilah

Junior Member
Jazakallah khair for the post.

My father has always asked me not to change my name when I get married because he said that it would hurt him, and I have always intended to honour his wish. I am very happy this topic was posted here.
 

Isra

aka Tree2008
i didnt take my husbands last name but my daughter has her fathers name, this brings lots of confusion here in london, proving yourself that you are her mother and why i didnt take my husbands name.iv done this so many times..im always ready to explain to whomever asks..

my sister had a problem..when we both got married in london we did it in the masjid,we were givin a muslim marriage certificate..

How weired is this,,when my sister's husband moved to abu-dhabi for work, she went with him but had so much problem proving they were married and had to do register marriage in the british embassy and had to take her husband's name, she had no choice...this is in a muslim country.

As salamo alaikome

I was just about to mention this problem when I saw sisters post here so instead I just quote her and agree with her post. I have heard this mentioned before that there are many problems world wide when a husband and wife are traveling! But this is Allah's will so we must obey Allah and deal with whatever problems arrise as the rest of the world catches up to the intellegence of Islam!

Alhamdulillah I knew about this prior to marrying my husband so I have my maiden name and have not taken on his name. We are planning travel soon so inshallah we wont have any problems but if we do we have Allah to guide us in how to handle it! I guess the best thing would be to keep our marriage certificate with our passports. That will explain everything inshallah!

wa salam
 

Isra

aka Tree2008
How difficult do you guys think would be to change all my documents (passports, property and so)to have my own name back again?

As salamo alaikome

I am originally from the USA and was married prior to becoming Muslim so after my divorce I had to change all documents back to my maiden name. The drivers license and the social security card were just a matter of filling out papers and showing my divorce decree but the passport was a bit more difficult. I had to fill out the papers and show my divorce decree along with my original birth certificate then I had to PAY the entire cost of a brand new passport which kind of ticked me off since my other passport was less than one year old but over the limit they use to determine how much you pay!

Anyway all is fine now and I have my maiden name which is so much simpler since I will never have to change it again! Alhamdulillah!!!
 
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