testing times

[s 091]

:salam2: hi to all .
I have not visisted the site for qiute a while now, i am confused and am finding it very hard to know which way i should turn. I have been with my husban for six years his family never accepted me but {as i thought} fortunately they accepted me a couple of months back. Myself and my partner had waited a long time for this moment to come, and with his mothers blessing we then persuid with our marriage {we would not do this without the families acceptance}. We have a beautiful 2 half year old son and i hoped that this was the turning point in our life that we needed because now we could have his family involved with our family. but this was not to be. for afew weeks they were more than happy to have us round their house but then his sister in law returned from Pakistan and my partner was told by his brother that i was no longer allowed around their house because his wife didnt like me. my husband later went around himself and was told that he also was no longer welcome. I have tried my hardest to please his family but obviously this isnt enough. I did NOT start to read into islam because of them i chose to that because i wanted to but that doesnt even please them. i bring my son up muslim and have agreed that he will go mosque when he is 5 years old but even that doesnt make them happy. I sometimes wonder if they will ever accept me? I would love to be involved in the family because they could learn me so much which i could also pass on to my son but it would seem this just isnt to be. It has put me off things in such a way i cannot explain. none of my family are muslim and none of them even know the slightest thing about the religion but his family do and as far as i am concerned there is no reason why they should outcast me like this. i have never said a bad word to them and have never disrespected them, i have stood up for them when they may have had problems, never got thanked and never asked for the thanks but they just act like ive never done anything for them. they would be happier if i didnt exist. i just do not know what to do my family has always accepted my partner they treat him like one of the family and he is happy about that but i just dont understand why his family cant do the same. i welcome any advice that anybody may have. thankyou for taking the time to read my message and i hope to hear from people soon. again i thank you...

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam sister,

It saddens me when I read posts like this, it really reflects on how weak we've become as an Ummah. You cannot control their behavior, only yours. So take comfort in the fact that you will be rewarded greatly for your proper Islamic behavior towards his family. Consider it their loss, not yours.

I would strongly recommend you make friends with other sisters at the Ummah and make them your "family." It seems your husband's SIL is weak and we will have to pray thta her punishment be light for treating you so harshly. Mashallah, your husband did the right thing by introducing his wife to his family. They are behaving wrongly and for that I am truly sorry.

Know that there are many brothers and sisters who rejoice that you have joined our family!

Wasalaam

~Sarah

 

[adiilah]

salaam
Patince sister ....bear it with patience ..thing changes with time ...
U dunno wht situation Allah put them tomorrow for downgrading u as not born muslim and different culture ....

Allah has perfect our religion ...but the muslim of today take islam for granted as np value gift ... May Allah forgive me

And they down look when people convert to islam as if new convert are second graded muslim ...

Don't be sad ...

Insha Allah ur situation will change ...bear everything with patience and perseverance ...

 

[palestine]

Sister i'm happy that you have maintained strong. This is a true believer's sign. if they do not accept you then do not waste your time trying to impress them. be kind to them as you have been but find muslims who will accept you. this is what i hate about culture. people judge each other according to their culture. i hope this cycle of hate breaks. take your son to the mosque, do your daily duties as a muslim and let them be what they want to be. their loss not yours. they are even lucky that their son is married to a pious beautiful woman. but obvisiouly they're too blind to see that. may allah open their hearts and make you of the sabirun(the patient ones.)
salam sis
and know we love you
WE ARE YOUR FAMILY ALTHOUGH WE ARE ONLINE- WE'RE HERE FOR YOU.
WE LOVE YOU ONCE AGAIN.
SALAM.

 

[s 091]

thankyou

:salam2: i would like to sincerely thankyou for the lovely comments that you have made. it means alot to hear {read rather} other peoples opinions. As i may find these testing times hard i cannot turn bad thoughts onto these people wether family or not i should continue with the hope that one day their minds will change when they realise the wrong doings that they are pursuing. i dont wish them pain or hurt i just wish that they could give me a real chance, not the taste of a chance that they will then throw back into my face. inshallah this day will come because its my husband that is getting hurt more than anybody, he spent six years of sinning to be, he only did this because he did not want to marry without his mothers acceptance, just dont think she realises what a sacrifice he was making. anyway sorry to ramble but it feels like you are the only people i can talk to about it because it hurts my husband too much when i speak of it, so thankyou again for taking the time to read and reply to my message.

 

[OsMaN_93]

Sometimes, trials and tribulations are meant to test our faith in Allah and how much we are committed to His laws in this vast universe. When Muslims are inflicted with harm or encounter hard times, they must put their trust in Allah and work hard to pass these trials, hoping in Allah's reward for those who prove patient in such times.

It is Allah's Wisdom to test human beings with different forms of sufferings and tribulations such as poverty, illness, ugliness or assault. This does not mean that Allah Almighty hates the person afflicted with such trials.

Prophet Job (peace be upon him) suffered a great deal of agony due to abject poverty and illness. He is a good example to the fact that Allah tests His sincere servants. After passing this test successfully, Allah Almighty alleviated Job's suffering and he finally lived in luxury and bliss.

Patience teaches us that we should not complain about the difficulties we face or feel sad about them. We should make du`aa' all the time and ask Allah to overcome that suffering. Prophet Job used to make lots of du`aa' to Allah to cure his illness.

*{And Job (Ayyub), when he cried to his Lord, saying: Harm has afflicted me, and Thou art the most Merciful of the merciful.}* (Al-Anbiyaa' 21:83)

so just wait.. maybe one day they will come to you, (and unleesh their ignorance)!!

just remember we are here, as yr second family.. any help just dial.. :lol: turntoislam.com
:salam2:
Ps. inshallah your marriage stays,peaceful, successful and full of love...

 

[wonnee3]

As Salaamu Alaikum, Sister it is very hard 2 live a life when u set out 2 plz other than ALLAH, when we entertwain r families it is very hard not 2 try 2 plz r n-laws, sometimes 2 the xtreme. Insha ALLAH ur zawj & ibn will c the true Islamic aspect of ur struggle and appreciate ur efforts. it is very sad when we have 2 go thru this unIslamic games when we marry. may ALLAH make it easy 4 u.