...the Muslims.
Salaam,
Now that I've got your attention I wanted to post some thoughts that have been rumminating in my head lately. First some basic background on myself, I converted about 2.5 years ago to Islam and the price was my family and most of my friends. Many people will say "Well those aren't real friends then" but those same Muslims would distance themselves from apostates of Islam, so do not be too quick to judge.
Since converting I have had the unique point of view of looking from the inside out and seeing if people mean what they say. I have witnessed tribalism that would make the Hindus with their caste system shake heir head in amazement. I read 2-3 posts weekly here on TTI about people desiring to marry someone of another race/ethnicity but their parents are opposed and even threaten with disownment. They speaking mincingly of "language barriers" and "cultural differences" even when the person seeking marriage is willing to adapt and flex to their norms. The truth of the matter is they feel their culture/tradition is superior to Islam but would never outright say it. Actions my friends....that is how we measure true intention.
I have spent most of my Ramadaans alone and breaking fast by myself as most Muslims suddenly become occupied with the festivities within their own family....forgetting the Muslim that has no one. I was just mocked last week in the grocery store by a "born-Muslim" female when she asked where I was from. I responded "from here" to which she rolled her eyes and in a thick accent said so was she. (obviously she was Arab...later she informed me she was from Syria....but she simply couldn't beliive a Hijabi would be from America and in the South) She then said, "Oh you must've married an Arab and converted for him." To which I informed her I am not married nor ever have been married to a Muslim. She pretty much accused me of lying. I would like to point out she wasn't wearing hijab but had no problem tearing apart an obvious convert in front of a bunch of non-Muslims.
At my place of employment I face constant ridicule from customers and also insults. But for now it is the only way to feed myself and keep a roof over my head so I endure. There is no mosque close by that I can attend (the closest one is almost an hour drive and my vehicle is on it's last leg presently) so I can't even find some kind Muslims to fellowship with.
Meanwhile I read and hear from other Muslims (online mostly since there aren't many Muslims locally) about everything we converts "do wrong." Many times instead of receiving encouragement we are criticised and corrected quite harshly. It can really make a person doubt that they amde the right decision to become Muslim if only to be constantly berated and torn down.
Lastly there is the marriage prospect. The brother that showed interest in me spent a long battle with his parents and last Fall finally got permission. But a few weeks later his father said, "You guys can do whatever you want but I won't be part of it." So while we have "permission" we do not have "approval." Basically his father has an issue with my skin color and that I am a convert. Apparently these two details make me unacceptable. I've given the brother a time limit to square things with his father then I am cutting ties as I can no longer stand still and need to find a husband and insh'Allah, one day have children.
I am weary my brothers and sisters. So very weary of this long and lonely road. I know Allah swt only test those he loves but sometimes I wish he didn't trust me so much to be strong enough. So please consider your convert brothers and sisters and extend a hand of compassion and patience. if possible, have your parents read this post so they can understand how the elders are effecting new converts to this religion. Maybe they will finally look past their tribalism and truly....truly welcome their new brothers and sisters into their homes, family, and ummah.
Wasalaam
SALAM
My very good sister may ALLAH reward your patience.
I have never introduced my self to this forum but I'm confident to say that you are among those who inspired others.
Please forgive those of us who called our self muslims but did not fully understand the meaning of being muslim. ISLAM sister as you know is what is find in the HOLY QURAN and the authentic traditions of the holy prophet.
ALLAH THE EXALTED SAYS:
[يأَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَـكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ وَأُنْثَى وَجَعَلْنَـكُمْ شُعُوباً وَقَبَآئِلَ لِتَعَـرَفُواْ إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عَندَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَـكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ ]
(13. O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes that you may know one another. Verily, the most honorable of you with Allah is that (believer) who has At-Taqwa. Verily, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.)
All of Mankind are the Children of `Adam and Hawwa'
Allah the Exalted declares to mankind that He has created them all from a single person, `Adam, and from that person He created his mate, Hawwa'. From their offspring He made nations, comprised of tribe, which include subtribes of all sizes. It was also said that `nations refers to non-Arabs, while `tribes refers to Arabs. Various statements about this were collected in an individual introduction from the book, Al-Inbah, by Abu `Amr Ibn `Abdul-Barr, and from the book, Al-Qasad wal-Amam fi Ma`rifah Ansab Al-Arab wal-`Ajam. Therefore, all people are the descendants of `Adam and Hawwa' and share this honor equally. The only difference between them is in the religion that revolves around their obedience to Allah the Exalted and their following of His Messenger . After He forbade backbiting and belittling other people, alerting mankind that they are all equal in their humanity. Allah said,
[يأَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَـكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ وَأُنْثَى وَجَعَلْنَـكُمْ شُعُوباً وَقَبَآئِلَ لِتَعَـرَفُواْ]
(O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes that you may know one another.) so that they get to know each other by their nation or tribe. Mujahid said that Allah's statement,
[لِتَعَـرَفُواْ]
(that you may know one another.) refers to one's saying, "So-and-so the son of so-and-so, from the tribe of so-and-so.'' Sufyan Ath-Thawri said, "The Himyar (who resided in Yemen) dealt with each other according to their provinces, while the Arabs in the Hijaz (Western Arabia) dealt with each other according to their tribes.''
Honor is earned through Taqwa of Allah
Allah the Exalted said,
[إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عَندَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَـكُمْ]
(Verily, the most honorable of you with Allah is that (believer) who has At-Taqwa.) meaning, `you earn honor with Allah the Exalted on account of Taqwa, not family lineage.' There are many Hadiths from the Prophet that support this meaning. Al-Bukhari narrated that Abu Hurayrah said, "Some people asked the Prophet , `Who is the most honorable among people' He replied,
«أَكْرَمُهُمْ عِنْدَ اللهِ أَتْقَاهُم»
(The most honorable among them with Allah is the one who has the most Taqwa.) They said, `We did not ask you about this.' He said,
«فَأَكْرَمُ النَّاسِ يُوسُفُ نَبِيُّ اللهِ، ابْنُ نَبِيِّ اللهِ، ابْنِ نَبِيِّ اللهِ ابْنِ خَلِيلِ الله»
(Then the most honorable person is Yusuf, Allah's Prophet, the son of Allah's Prophet, the son of Allah's Prophet, the son of Allah's Khalil.) They said, `We did not ask you about this.' He said,
«فَعَنْ مَعَادِنِ الْعَرَبِ تَسْأَلُونِّي»
؟ (Then you want to ask me about the Arab lineage) They said, `Yes.' He said,
«فَخِيَارُكُمْ فِي الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ خِيَارُكُمْ فِي الْإِسْلَامِ إِذَا فَقُهُوا»
(Those among you who were best in Jahiliyyah, are the best among you in Islam, if they attain religious understanding.)'' Al-Bukhari collected this Hadith in several places of his Sahih, An-Nasa'i did as well in the Tafsir section of his Sunan. Muslim recorded that Abu Hurayrah said that the Messenger of Allah said,
«إِنَّ اللهَ لَا يَنْظُرُ إِلَى صُوَرِكُمْ وَأَمْوَالِكُمْ وَلكِنْ يَنْظُرُ إِلَى قُلُوبِكُمْ وَأَعْمَالِكُم»
(Verily, Allah does not look at your shapes or wealth, but he looks at your hearts and actions.) Ibn Majah also collected this Hadith. Ibn Abi Hatim recorded that `Abdullah bin `Umar said, "On the day Makkah was conquered, the Messenger of Allah performed Tawaf around the Ka`bah while riding his camel, Al-Qaswa', and was touching the corners with a stick he had in his hand. He did not find a place in the Masjid where his camel could sit and had to dismount on men's hands. He led his camel to the bottom of the valley, where he had her sit down. The Messenger of Allah later gave a speech while riding Al-Qaswa' and said, after thanking Allah the Exalted and praising Him as He should be praised,
«يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّ اللهَ تَعَالَى قَدْ أَذْهَبَ عَنْكُمْ عُبِّيَّةَ الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ وَتَعَظُّمَهَا بِآبَائِهَا، فَالنَّاسُ رَجُلَانِ: رَجُلٌ بَرٌّ تَقِيٌّ كَرِيمٌ عَلَى اللهِ تَعَالَى، وَرَجُلٌ فَاجِرٌ شَقِيٌّ هَيِّنٌ عَلَى اللهِ تَعَالَى، إِنَّ اللهَ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ يَقُولُ:
[يأَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَـكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ وَأُنْثَى وَجَعَلْنَـكُمْ شُعُوباً وَقَبَآئِلَ لِتَعَـرَفُواْ إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عَندَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَـكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ ]»
(O people! Allah the Exalted has removed from you the slogans of Jahiliyyah and its tradition of honoring forefathers. Men are of two types, a man who is righteous, fearful of Allah and honorable to Allah, or a man who is vicious, miserable and little to Allah the Exalted. Verily, Allah the Exalted and Most Honored said, (O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honorable of you with Allah is that (believer) who has At-Taqwa. Verily, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.)) The Prophet said,
«أَقُولُ قَوْلِي هذَا وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ لِي وَلَكُم»
(I say this and invoke Allah for forgiveness for me and for you.)'' This was recorded by `Abd bin Humayd. Allah the Exalted said,
[إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلَيمٌ خَبِيرٌ]
(Verily, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.) means, `He is All-Knowing of you and All-Aware of all of your affairs.' Allah guides whom He wills, misguides whom He wills, grants mercy to whom He wills, tor- ments whom He wills, elevates whom He wills above whom He wills. He is the All-Wise, the All-Knowing, the All-Aware in all this. Several scholars relied on this honorable Ayah and the honora- ble Hadiths we menti- oned as evidence that compatibility in marriage is not a condition of marriage contracts. They said that the only condition required in this regard is the adherence to the religion, as in the statement of Allah, the Exalted,
[إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عَندَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَـكُمْ]
(Verily, the most honorable of you with Allah is the one with the most Taqwa. )
[قَالَتِ الاٌّعْرَابُ ءَامَنَّا قُل لَّمْ تُؤْمِنُواْ وَلَـكِن قُولُواْ أَسْلَمْنَا وَلَمَّا يَدْخُلِ الايمَـنُ فِى قُلُوبِكُمْ وَإِن تُطِيعُواْ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ لاَ يَلِتْكُمْ مِّنْ أَعْمَـلِكُمْ شَيْئاً إِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ - إِنَّمَا الْمُؤْمِنُونَ الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ بِاللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ ثُمَّ لَمْ يَرْتَابُواْ وَجَـهَدُواْ بِأَمْوَلِهِمْ وَأَنفُسِهِمْ فِى سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ أُوْلَـئِكَ هُمُ الصَّـدِقُونَ - قُلْ أَتُعَلِّمُونَ اللَّهَ بِدِينِكُمْ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِى السَّمَـوَتِ وَمَا فِى الاٌّرْضِ وَاللَّهُ بِكُلِّ شَىْءٍ عَلِيمٌ - يَمُنُّونَ عَلَيْكَ أَنْ أَسْلَمُواْ قُل لاَّ تَمُنُّواْ عَلَىَّ إِسْلَـمَكُمْ بَلِ اللَّهُ يَمُنُّ عَلَيْكُمْ أَنْ هَداكُمْ لِلايمَـنِ إِنُ كُنتُمْ صَـدِقِينَ - إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَعْلَمُ غَيْبَ السَّمَـوَتِ وَالاٌّرْضِ وَاللَّهُ بَصِيرٌ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ ]
(14. The bedouins say: "We believe.'' Say: "You do not believe. But say, `We have submitted,' for Faith has not yet entered your hearts. But if you obey Allah and His Messenger, He will not decrease anything in reward for your deeds. Verily, Allah is Forgiving, Most Merciful.'') (15. Only those are the believers who have believed in Allah and His Messenger, and afterward doubt not but strive with their wealth and their lives for the cause of Allah. Those! They are the truthful.) (16. Say: "Will you inform Allah of your religion while Allah knows all that is in the heavens and all that is on the earth, and Allah is All-Aware of everything.'') (17. They regard as a favor to you that they have embraced Islam. Say: "Do not count your Islam as a favor to me. Nay, but Allah has conferred a favor upon you that He has guided you to the Faith if you indeed are true. '') (18. "Verily, Allah knows the Unseen of the heavens and the earth. And Allah is the All-Seer of what you do.'')
There is a Difference between a Believer and a Muslim
Allah chastises the bedouins who, when they embraced Islam, claimed for themselves the grade of faithful believers. However, Faith had not yet firmly entered their hearts,
[قَالَتِ الاٌّعْرَابُ ءَامَنَّا قُل لَّمْ تُؤْمِنُواْ وَلَـكِن قُولُواْ أَسْلَمْنَا وَلَمَّا يَدْخُلِ الايمَـنُ فِى قُلُوبِكُمْ]
(The bedouins say: "We believe.'' Say: "You do not believe, but say, `We have submitted,' for Faith has not yet entered your hearts...'') This honorable Ayah provides proof that Faith is a higher grade than Islam, according to the scholars of the Ahl us-Sunnah wal-Jama`ah. This is also demostrated in the Hadith of Jibril, peace be upon him, when he questioned the Prophet about Islam, then Iman then Ihsan. Thus moving the general matter to one more specific, then even more specific. Imam Ahmad recorded that `Amir bin Sa`d bin Abi Waqqas said, "The Messenger of Allah gave (something to) some men and did not give one of them. Sa`d said, `O Allah's Messenger, you gave to so-and-so and so-and-so. However, you gave nothing to so-and-so, even though he is a believer.' The Prophet said,
«أَوْ مُسْلِمٌ؟»
(Or say, a Muslim.) Sa`d repeated his statement thrice each time the Prophet answered,
«أَوْ مُسْلِمٌ؟»
(Or say, a Muslim.) The Prophet then said,
«إِنِّي لَأُعْطِي رِجَالًا وَأَدَعُ مَنْ هُوَ أَحَبَّ إِلَيَّ مِنْهُمْ،فَلَمْ أُعْطِهِ شَيْئًا مَخَافَةَ أَنْ يُكَبُّوا فِي النَّارِ عَلَى وُجُوهِهِم»
(I might give some men and give nothing to others, even though the latter are dearer to me than the former. I do not give them things for fear that they might be thrown on their faces in the Fire.)'' This Hadith is recorded in the Two Sahihs. Therefore, the Prophet made a distinction between the grade of believer and the grade of Muslim, indicating that Iman is a more exclusive grade than Islam. I mentioned this subject in detail supported by evidence, in the beginning of the explanation of the chapter on Iman in Sahih Al-Bukhari, all praise is due to Allah and all the favors are from Him. So this proves that the bedouins whom the Ayah mentioned were not hypocrites, rather they were Muslims in whose hearts Faith was not yet firmly established. They claimed a higher grade for themselves than the grade that they earned, and they were taught a lesson as a consequence. This meaning agrees with the meaning given by Ibn `Abbas, Ibrahim An-Nakha`i, Qatadah and that preferred by Ibn Jarir. These bedouins were taught a lesson,
[قُل لَّمْ تُؤْمِنُواْ وَلَـكِن قُولُواْ أَسْلَمْنَا وَلَمَّا يَدْخُلِ الايمَـنُ فِى قُلُوبِكُمْ]
(Say: "You do not believe, but say `We are Muslims,' for Faith has not yet entered your hearts...'') meaning, `you have not yet achieved the reality of Faith.' Allah the Exalted said,
[وَإِن تُطِيعُواْ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ لاَ يَلِتْكُمْ مِّنْ أَعْمَـلِكُمْ شَيْئاً]
(But if you obey Allah and His Messenger, He will not decrease anything in reward for your deeds...) `He will not decrease any of your rewards,' as Allah said;
[وَمَآ أَلَتْنَـهُمْ مِّنْ عَمَلِهِم مِّن شَىْءٍ]
(We shall not decrease the reward of their deeds in anything.) (52:21) Allah said:
[إِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ]
(Verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.) for those who repent and return to Him. Allah's statement,
[إِنَّمَا الْمُؤْمِنُونَ]
(Only those are the believers), who have perfect Faith,
Please be more patient sister and for sure ALLAH did not allow the deeds of the righteous to perish.
was sitting in the mosque with some of his companions when a Bedouin urinated inside the mosque. The Prophet’s 
And its with this Ease and promise of Allah in mind that we continue to battle on the road to jannah which truly is an uphill road and it is difficult but inshallah when we reach the top we will see its true fruits the fruits of our labour....
